Equestria Girls 2: Fedora Men

Mixed feelings struck Twilight, she felt happy to be out of the prison that was once her home but this sense of satisfaction was mixed with sadness, this was a foreign land to her and she knew no way to return home; her prison was just replaced with a larger and potentially more dangerous one which left her wanting to cry.

Twilight wasn’t sure what the best course of action was, millions of ideas came to mind but like a scarecrow caught masturbating she was just clutching at straws.


“Perhaps if I return to where I was transported to I will return home, but where is that? What of my quest to return whatever it was I was sent here for? Oh screw that, time to go home, it might not be perfect but... Well it’s slightly better than almost being raped.”

Twilight galloped off towards the newly rising sun, as if it was calling out to her. Being locked in a basement for days made Twilight forget the beauty of an outside world, let alone an alien one. The quiet suburban streets being illuminated by the light of early morning hours felt somehow breath taking, though the polluted air was literally breath taking to her, she had never experienced anything so disgusting. The mixture of beauty and revulsion felt like going on a date with a really pretty girl who only ever talked about Jersey Shore. It was at this instant that Twilight realised something, she was a purple pony in a world of 6’ bipedal “things” that had strange complexions and seemingly little hair. As Twilight moved closer towards what appeared to be a bustling city centre and as more time proceeded to cause more people to wake up, this realisation became all the more obvious. It left Twilight frozen in place as she truly thought of her circumstances and her feeling of alienation from all things familiar to her.

“What is there left in my life? I have nothing, I’m sad either way. Miserable in my dream job.” That confession made her giggle more than she expected it to, though it was more of a depressed laughter at the irony of that phrase instead of legitimate happiness.

Twilight’s monologue was interrupted when a bedraggled man bumped into her, this “gentleman” just greeted her with “Fuck off fag” before continuing down the rather busy street. She didn’t know how to feel, that last person was a lot nicer than the only other person she really interacted with and the increasing number of strangers all seem to be fixated on devices in their hands that remove all sense of an outside world. Twilight somehow felt completely isolated while simultaneously being engulfed by people. This is what an orgy must feel like if you have really bad acne. Despite feeling alone Twilight took comfort in the fact that nobody would notice her or want to kidnap her in the same fashion as previously.

However this feeling of being unnoticed was as short lived as a white guy in Harlem; it seems someone equally as “interesting” as Thunder Strike picked her up and admired her flank.

“You’re coming home with me” the stranger cheerily said, giggling at the word “coming” under his repugnant breath. “Now I’ve got to hide you from other pedestrians.” This only helped to confuse Twilight further, to her a pedestrian is a pedophile in Equestria.

Twilight was too worn out to put up much of a fight, her muscles had already begun to weaken as had her mental state, days of being locked up, tied to something and fed close to nothing did that to her. It was like being forced to read a fan fic, it left her feeling drained and essentially brain dead. As the stranger cradled her to where she presumed was his home, many thoughts of Canterlot life ran through her head; she missed the days of boredom more than she expected, fighting Discord and Sombra was like a walk through the park in comparison to this. She considered that without her magic and newly acquired flight she was as useless and boring as Applejack, but then she learnt the truth, that alone she was useless.

“Friendship IS magic...” Twilight faintly said, emphasizing the word ‘is’ as if people were listening. She felt proud of herself for realising an important lesson, all that time alone in Canterlot as a princess left her feeling lonely and cynical, she never spoke to her friends and arriving here without any abilities to a foreign world constantly overpowering her was almost like a metaphor for getting by without friends. For once Twilight was happy, she learnt a lesson and it felt like how things were in Ponyville, she had no idea what her future with this stranger would entail but none of that seemed to matter, Twilight closed her eyes and smiled for the first time in many days.

Upon opening her eyes Twilight noticed her surroundings had changed to a more familiar one, she was in Canterlot Castle surrounded by her friends. Twilight’s smile only became bigger as she was finally out of the hellhole she had to visit.

“Oh my Celestia, Celestia you helped me.” Twilight didn’t seem to care that her sentence was poorly constructed, all that mattered to her was arriving home. “Thank you so much for bringing me back, I owe you.” Her voice turned from one of thanks to one of pleading. “How did you bring me back?” Twilight continued without giving Celestia anytime to process.

This was all followed by a rather short silence which to Twilight felt like an eternity, all she wanted was answers or to be noticed at the very least, the room just felt silent, if not for the birds flying by a window time would have felt completely frozen.

“Well” Celestia’s voice echoed in the silent room, creating a dramatic atmosphere, Twilight eagerly listened as Celestia’s answer was on its way to finally explaining her rescue.

Celestia’s voice boomed in the echoing room, “Well” she repeated as she tried to form the right words vocalise.

“It’s just that you were being a depressing bitch so I knew you needed a lesson, figured this would work and it clearly did. You’re welcome.”

This answer just left Twilight feeling dumbfounded, she felt more or less dead inside knowing that this was planned and she was a victim but she just put on a happy face to hide the fact she was emotionally dead, after all; a happy smile would keep her from learning another lesson like this.