Chapter Three

By Damocles23

“So, um, looks like there’s a Rainbow flavored Pie in the oven, right?” Pinkie pointed with a hoof to her belly and snorted a forced, tortured laugh. Her blue fillyfriend didn’t even move to face her, still absentmindedly floating a few inches off the ground with steady wing flaps.

“How about this? Maybe now there’s a whole lot of Pinkie in your rainbow!” Pinkie giggled again, but the laughs stopped dead just when the columbia colored pegasus did the same.

“Are you angry with me? I know. I know it's not the time to make jokes.” She kicked a little bit of dust on the ground and she held her belly again, feeling her heartbeat going crazy at the mere thought of...how to call it? The little ‘Pinkie or Dashie’ growing inside her?

The thought made her want to laugh or cry or scream her heart out, but that was a silly thing that only the carefree Pinkie Pie could do, not the Pinkie Pie responsible for her foal. Even if it was smaller than the tiniest tip of the tiniest tip of her hoof and for the sake of it, the freaking out part had to be delayed.

“I’m not angry with you.” Dash finally said, but still without turning. “I’m just not angry. Period.”

“You’re angry with the period? I know, that feeling...The question mark is much nicer, but it never gives you a clear answer.”

“I just need to talk with Twilight, that’s all. I’m not even angry with her.” Finally she turned toward the pink pony, sporting a warm smile, and caressed her on the cheek, “If anything, you should be angry with me!”

“Uh? Why?”

“I mean, I-I got you...” a ferocious red tinged her cheeks, “I knocked you up...Without magic, I mean.” she blurted out. Pinkie lunged at the blue pegasus, but somehow tried not to squeeze the adorableness out of her. The element of Loyalty...had thought first of the pink pony with not even a word about herself.

“No, Dashie, no! I wanted it, wanted it so bad. I didn’t know that it would happen and I still went through it, despite the risk. You have to blame me! I’m the one that insisted on using that fake, but still working, thingy. I didn’t even ask Twilight if she was really, really sure! Blame me, instead. I got you knocked up.With magic!”

Dash’s hooves rose up and flattened her bushy mane against her blue chest, stroking and caressing Pinkie’s face and mane in the process.

“How could I blame you? You just wanted to make me feel good, make me feel loved, even willing to be like me... I waited my whole life for somepony like you.” Dash’s lips met Pinkie’s for a fleeting second, sending the pink pony spinning to the realm of true happiness.

“R-really?”

“Yes. You weren’t scared or disgusted by me. You just saw me as...me. Nothing more, nothing less.”

“Except your thingy. That’s more than a mare can have," she chortled out. Sometimes, she hated being this immature, but when that pegasus was with her, she didn’t want anything else than to laugh, joke and be happy forever.

“Except that. For better or worse, I want this. It may seem so soon, but I want your foal and I’m responsible for the one inside you as well.” Dash rolled her eyes, “Boy, that is complicated—”

“It’s not that complicated, Dashie. They’ve got the same Mommy and Daddy after all: they just swapped places! Same recipe and everything.” Pinkie’s tearful smile returned to light, “But seriously...you want this? A family with me? Silly, old Pinkie Pie?”

“Silly, old Pinkie Pie and silly, brash Rainbow Dash. And our totally awesome foals. I couldn’t ask for better.”

Before she could have realized, Pinkies chubby pink body threw itself again into Rainbow’s embrace and buried her snout into the pegasus’s warm fur, like it was the safest and most beautiful place of the world. Which it was. “It doesn’t seem too bad, right?”

“The opposite of bad...The bestest thing that could’ve happened to me. After you of course!” she giggled. “I thought I was a bother before all this...”

“You never were. Besides, If you think I’m going to leave you alone in this, you’re wrong! I’m tagging along in whatever crazy adventures you’re going through.”

“The coolest and bravest pegasus of Equestria at my side...I couldn’t have wished for better.” She snuggled on Dash’s neck and received a small caress for the effort.

“Also, I don’t want you to get over your head. If you were the only one with foal you would have probably gone loco in a few weeks.”

Pinkie nodded, although Dash’s prediction would have come true in even less time.

“Having somepony else at your side in the same situation, well, If it makes you feel safer, well—”

”Of course it does! And I’ll be at your side with yours! I mean mine, I mean our foal! Both of them. We are going to be the best parents ever!” She hopped in place a few times as Rainbow Dash watched her with, simply put, pride. Wearing a soft smile, the pegasus didn’t roll her eyes nor told her to calm down, and she certainly didn't brush aside her manic behavior with a snarky retort.

Something had changed and even Rainbow Dash found herself enjoying Pinkie’s smile even more than before.

“I guess we will have to think of their names,” Pinkie continued, trying to restrain her tears of joy, “And what about my folks? And your folks, too? Oh my gosh, our mommies are becoming grannies, how could we tell them? And what about the girls? What if they—”

Pinkie’s head spun as the pleasant taste of a rainy day and spices invaded her mouth. She half opened an eye to see Dash pressing her soft lips against hers. Suddenly, the world never seemed such a awful place. “I-I love you, Dashie. Did I tell you already?”

“It never hurts to say that again.”

With just her warm, comforting smile, Pinkie’s fears faded away and the pony of her dreams was by her side. “So, before we start being sappy again, not that I’m complaining mind you, let’s go to Twilight. I wanted to warn her if she doesn’t know. And If she knows, well...”

“Do you think she did it on purpose?”

Rainbow arched an eyebrow when she said the word ‘purpose.'

“I would rule that out, but come on! We know that for all her ‘magical genius,’ she's had her fair share of screw ups. More than the average pony, actually.”

Pinkie followed the statement with an extremely hurt look as her lower lip quivered. “Y-You’re saying that our foals are screwed up?”

“No-nonono! I mean the fact she didn't see this coming is the screw up, not the foals themselves!”

“Oh, that makes it better then. Let’s go!” She hopped her way toward Ponyville’s library, leaving behind a puzzled pegasus. A few moments later, Rainbow followed her, but not before stealing a small peck on her cheek.

“I love you, too, Pinkie,” Dash whispered, making the party pony blush. “I think we will make this work.”

“If I am with you, I’m sure it will.”

To some ponies, maybe even Dashie, that change of attitude may have looked jarring...which it was. But if she wasn't the one to keep her smile no matter what, the one silly and unstoppable constant that reminded Dashie that there was nothing to be scared, who would? Without further ado, they hopped and floated towards Twilight’s tree and knocked at the door.

Spike opened the door. “Rainbow? Pinkie? What are you doing here?” the young dragon said through the half opened door with a smile.

“Hi, Spike. Is Twi’ home?” Dash asked, to which Spike shook his head while munching on a gem.

“Well, where is she, then? It’s something really important!”

“Funny, she said she had something important to do as well at Sweet Apple Acres. She ran out the door without telling me anything before. And what was the deal with that brown bag? She almost knocked me over with that thing.” He massaged the back of his head with a groan.

“What bag?” Dash asked, without stifling a little laugh.

“She just said something about ‘a special gift for Applejack’ or something,” he said, making little air quotes with his free hand.

“You don’t think that...?” Dash’s eyes colored themselves of a light that was both stupefied and terrified, while a nervous grin slowly appeared on her blue lips.

“Yes, that is exactly what I’m thinking!” The pegasus’ worries leaped onto the pink pony's face like a rabid flea. “Dashie! We have to hurry!" Pinkie hopped immediately on her pegasus fillyfriend as her wings were already unraveled and kicking, ready to send them in the air as fast as the future Wonderbolt could.

Spike flailed his arms about. “Hey! Where are you going! Is there something wrong? Is Twilight in danger?!”

“Well, no. But if we don’t hurry, you might get a new brother or sister! A pony brother or sister!” Pinkie giggled.

The young dragon almost choked on his ruby as he watched with incredulous eyes his two friends disappear into the skies above.

“I thought of a name!” Dash said, a wide smile blessing her face and the hair currents messing up her mane. “For your foal, I mean.”

“Huh?”

“What if I choose the name of yours and you choose mine? Wouldn’t that be fun?”

“I would love that! What name did you choose?”

“Surprise..If it’s a filly, Surprise would be nice.” Rainbow sighed, “But if it’s a colt, well, I'll have to think about it.”

“Such a wonderful ‘Surprise’...” Pinkie caressed her tummy and abandoned herself in the softness of Dash’s mane.

***

“I, uh, I’ve never done something like this before, actually.” The librarian removed a lock of her mane from her eyes as her gaze wandered along every single thread of hay decorating the ceiling.

“Well, ah guess that makes two of us, sugarcube.” The farmpony’s golden brown hooves rustled along her purple coat to caress her cheeks and plant a firm, sensual kiss on her inexperienced lips as a throaty whimper escaped from them. “If it makes ya feel better, ah feel mighty flattered fer trusting me on...Whatever we have to call it.”

“I would call it an experiment, but then it would sound so ‘cold’...I don’t want to be like that with you.” She bit her lip as shivers of pleasure ran down her neck, just where the farmpony’s lips danced on the surface of her coat. “Maybe a favor, but it still feels empty.”

“How about ‘fun’? Fun jus’ feels right. Ah’d love to have ‘fun’ with ya.”

Twilight’s pouted a little as Applejack started to delicately bite and suckle at her neck. “Heh, you made me think of Pinkie. She gave me quite a scare the other day.”

“Why’s that?”

“I almost thought that she knew about that ‘special thing’.” She chuckled as the farm pony lips hovered from the coat over to her purple chest. Her hips bucked forward on their own as a pair of orange hooves firmly grasped at her hips. “I mean...Ah...” a moan escaped her as she tried to continue, “Now she knows because, well, she asked me so kindly and...I wanted her to be happy. With Dash, I mean. If I can use my magic to make you girls happy, then it’s all worth it.”

“Twi...” AJ’s brilliant green eyes locked themselves with the unicorn’s own as profound admiration was etched in them, “Ah think you’re, well, amazing...” crimson slowly appeared between her freckles, “...but...”

“I knew there was a ‘but’.” She chuckled and rolled her eyes.

“Does she know about us?”

She flashed a devilish grin. “Nopony knows yet. I just want to do this and then we can come out. You know, with Pinkie’s business and her relationship with Dash...those two could know everything about our special thing.”

“About that...Why me? Ah mean, not sayin’ that ah don’t want to...It’s jus’ that a pony like you, well, Princess’ favourite student, Element of Magic and—”

“You’re saying that you think I’m out of your league? Is that it?”

“Basically, ye—” The farmpony’s words were stuffed back into her mouth by a sloppy, inexperienced pair of purple lips. What Twilight lacked in experience, she made up for with fervent charm, the kind that said she was totally into it, that she cared with all her heart.

“Does this spell out ‘out of my league’, Miss Element of Honesty?”

Applejack’s crimson cheeks seeped their heat all across her orange coat and the purple librarian could feel it, desire unlike anything else. Her lips wandered between her freckles and filled with licks and nips the farmpony’s visage.

Applejack answered with glee, locking her lips with her own over and over again. She concentrated on the tip of her horn and a glowing, purple hue enveloped her lover like a blanket, rolling Applejack to her back as she pinned her hooves on the ground.

Even with her magic, moving that pile of firm, powerful muscles made her tired. And quite horny, but mostly tired. “C’mere here, sugarcube...” she whispered into twitchy ears.

“That’s mah line...” Applejack said with a hint of silliness and outrage as she bit and suckled on Twilight’s neck while the unicorn matched her blow by blow on her orange coat.

A purple hoof slid down between a pair of well built thighs and could feel the tingling heat from …

She shuddered at the thought, but not even in her wildest dreams had she dared to think of Applejack’s hidden treasure, even if it was within her grasp. She steeled herself and rode the wave of adrenaline as she spread the farmpony’s legs with that little courage she held in her hooves.

The lavender unicorn had no words: those swollen, inviting labia of the juiciest pink were waiting for her to come, blinking at her virgin eyes. Countless books of questionable educational value had finally proved their value in the face of Applejack's dripping arousal. “By the beard of Starswirl...” she whispered in total awe.

“Jus’ get on with it, Twi! My apple pie is ready for some cream filling.” Applejack giggled like a mad mare as she tried to hide her ferocious blush with her pair of hooves.

“Now you really sound like Pinkie...”

Note to self: sex makes ponies dumb. Delightfully so, but still kind of weird. I wonder if that explains Pinkie...

“She must have some really dirty talk with Rainbow.”

Twilight had to agree on that. Hay, Pinkie had picked up the bad habit of saying disturbing things even in the company of other ponies.

“If you want some of it, dirty talk I mean, well, I haven’t researched it yet, but if maybe I can improvise something or maybe—”

“Twi!” AJ yelled, stopping the rant and pushing the librarian’s self esteem up a few inches.

A wisp of magic later and the artificial stallionhood was delicately removed from the bag. With a series of mechanical, almost detached movements, lost in her thoughts as not to make the tiniest mistake, until she strapped it to her crotch. The plastic member dangled dangerously close to Applejack, shuddering with anticipation.

Twilight smiled. “Ready?”

The orange mare nodded, shivering in anticipation.

Twilight closed her eyes as the magical warmth enveloped her privates, letting her analytic mind savor every change her body experienced— it was worth it, remembering her first time in all the meanings of the senses. It felt cozy, almost relaxing even as she felt the cold plastic turn inch by inch, molecule by molecule into pulsating flesh and blood. Her corpus weaved itself together, built by magical brick, tingling on her coat as it did.

The glans popped out and bulged as her tip formed a gracious curve that felt the air glazing its newly formed surface. An electric current sent a shiver rising along her spine, glistened by the rays of Celestia’s Sun, a mere glimmer of them making their way trough the barn door. She bit her lip and steeled on as blood flowed inside her new accessory. She could feel herself heavier around her crotch, but not enough to make her slip and lose her balance. A chuckle escaped as her mind, for whatever reason, went back to Lyra Heartstrings and her silly fixation on using only her hindlegs...and Twilight Sparkle’s equilibrium lessons by that same green unicorn.

It flopped and stiffened further as her purple obelisk pointed right at Applejack’s hole. New and primal instincts crawled their way into her purple head; a small drop of her seed hit the hay covered floor. Instincts dictated that she should not let up nor slow down. Her legs wobbled and she fell upon on the farmpony, the tip of her stallionhood searching the much desired hole.

The mere contact was electric, explosive even, although it was short lived as her tip slid off the pink surface and wobbled weakly away from it. She bit her lip and grabbed the flailing, viscid member and firmly grasped it with a hoof. She gulped and locked her gaze with Applejack's, who nodded with the kindest smile. Her lower lips parted slowly, her smooth orange skin caressing her pulsating organ.

Twilight thrust her hips forward and the magic began. Applejack’s strong hindlegs grasped Twilight’s back as she sank into her marehood, and only now did she notice that the orange mare possessed that same strength in all the muscles of her body. All of them.

She groaned and bucked again, pleasure surpassed by the choking sensation that enveloped the tip of her cock and great part of its length. Applejack’s tightness enveloped her, granting her no hope of escape. Nor did she wish to.

She grunted again and thrust herself in and out. Her lover's moist walls caused a sweet friction no different than from fucking a hole too tight. She bit her lip and reminded herself to find new comparisons, just for completeness’ sake.

“Is everythin’ okay, Twi?” AJ asked, her green eyes reflecting concern.

“Just fine. Give me a sec...” She closed her eyes and jerked her hips, trying for a narrower angle. She knew she made the right choice when she fell inside the farmpony and AJ let out something far from a squeal, but still not of a much different sound.

“Whoa, Nelly,” Applejack drooled out with a line of saliva.

Twilight struggled around AJ’s grip and her purple loins started to work its very unique spell. She darted forward and filled Applejack with her wide corpus as the delicate net of veins on the surface of her length brushed inside Applejack’s folds. Pleasure struck her like a shiver. The purple pony’s brain and her virgin, ingenious mind, collapse and melted, but it was not enough for her to not notice her lover biting her lip and making a slight grunt of pain.

“I’m not hurting you, right?” Twilight said, panting out words of concern. If anything, Twilight was the one who had to worry, trapped in the farmpony’s voracious maw.

“Don’ worry, sugarcube.” She kissed Twilight’s forehead, “You’re doin’ great.”

A wild hitching like sensation possessed her nethers and she had to scratch it. The only form of relief was pounding harder and faster inside her lover, grabbing her by the shoulders and drilling with her dick. Every shudder, every twitch that came from Applejack sent her dizzy with ecstasy.

In fact, the unicorn could feel her boiling load being conjured in some unknown dimension in that very second and begging, mauling on the metaphorical door to enter the world and splash inside the orange mare. Given how good, how delightful it felt, she couldn’t wait to comply.

The mare Twilight was fucking didn’t waste any time; Applejack scattered across the surface of her face a cascade of delicate, sloppy kisses, even touching with her lips the second most sensitive part of Twilight: her horn. Every brush wad like an electric current to her brain, a spark of wild ecstasy that translated into a magic impulse...that fueled her brain the most mischievous of ideas.

The tip of her horn accumulated magic and a simple push of her will projected it around her penis. Applejack shivered and Twilight matched the spasm of her body as she penetrated the circle of energy, and Applejack with it. Magic, raw magic to be precise, simply felt...cold. Not the kind of cold that bit the skin and hurt but the kind of cold one could feel after tasting fresh water after living in the desert a few weeks. The kind of cold a pony could forget, but would always feel familiar.

The magical circle allowed her to slide in and out at a much faster pace and still feel the softness of AJ’s folds. She overcame the terrible tightness and focused her mind on raw fucking. She plunged her cock deep into her juicy hole, so fast that it made both sizzling and slurping sounds as the sensitive tip slammed against Applejack’s most inner spots, crashing inside with ferocious need. The more she rammed it inside her lover, the more she wanted it... a sentiment matched by Applejack.

The farmer grabbed the unicorn’s head and shoved her tongue into her mouth, sharing her lustful moans with her as her wet appendage locked with Twilight's.

“Twi...” AJ moaned as her precious liquid was spilled by Twilight’s love muscle’s frantic spasms. Spams that she didn’t want to stop, wishing for the build up, for every kiss and playful nib, for this very moment to last forever and to be always joined in their lovemaking.

“Ah’m...Nahh, ah think ah’m coming...” Applejack’s gracious face contorted into a brief mask of carnal madness that lasted less than the blink of an eye.

“Just give me a moment here,” The unicorn said as she drilled deeper, her spell losing effectiveness and her stallionhood getting crushed, once more, in those merciless, strong lower lips.

This time, however, the pain wasn’t a bother, no, this time felt good. The kind of pain that was screaming that this was real, raw, natural and completely right for it to happen. But there was no time for sense or logic or other silly things as that, nor for analyzing it like a cold, scientific fact.

It was the time for the truth, the same words that gnawed at the back of her purple brain, to come out from the hidden corners of her mind.

Coat against coat, with Applejack’s tongue out of her mouth and enveloping her horn, sucking it dry and aching like crazy, it was the time to say it.

“AJ...I-I lov-love—”

The words were slammed back into her mouth by another thrust of those same orange lips she would never have enough of kissing. The powerful bulk that she had dreamed of for days to hold in her forelegs rolled on top of her.

She could see Applejack mounting her rod, her tongue lolling out of her mouth, her face overcome by pleasure as pearls of sweat crossed her panting brow. She bucked and bucked and bucked without mercy, and Twilight’s cock enlarged in response. Stiff and rigid, she was ready to shoot and pump all of her boiling seed, ready to make those words made real...

...Until a shriek, an impossibly sweet voice, came from behind the farmpony. Something pink and fuzzy smashed open the barn door, and the sudden splash of sunlight stung her eyes. Her heart stopped, the magical moment turned to ash: “YOUR BABY JELLY REALLY WORKS!”

Twilight screamed at the top of her lungs and gave a totally unintended magic push to the farmpony, sliding her out of her dick and making her tumble on the floor, legs still spread, and shot all of her seed in a long arc that splashed forward on Applejack’s chest and stopped a mere inches from the cause of her scare, creating a puddle of pearly white cum really close to a pair of pink hooves that tiptoed back.

Silence fell like an anvil on the four ponies in the barn.

Pinkie Pie looked on with abject horror the scene that had unveiled before her very eyes. Rainbow Dash shook her head and pinched the bridge of her nose, releasing a long, exasperated sigh. Applejack blinked and looked around her in utter confusion, going cross eyed at the sight of the two uninvited guests. Twilight babbled something, but her jaw trembled so much that real words were still not an option.

She didn’t know whether to be enraged, confused, embarrassed or something in between. She ran the complete gamut of all her emotions, working on some abstract plan to resolve the situation in a way that didn’t end up in a slaughter.

“Your baby jelly really works?!” Dash slapped her forehead. “Really?”

“Well, I think it got the point across...” Pinkie Pie shrugged and stuck out her tongue, trying not to cross Twilight’s gaze; her guilt levels were off the scale. “I think I warned her...”

“You owe me an explanation.” Twilight said. But before anger obfuscated her judgement, she realized the meaning behind Pinkie’s words.

Her eyes settled on Pinkie's stomach, and then drifted over to Applejack.

I think I really screwed up this time.

***

Twilight Sparkle knew what making a mistake felt like.

Making a tremendous mistake, though...that’s something she could write a book about it. Her latest one could be a chapter of its own. She came out of the barn, keeping her head as close to the ground as possible, trying to not look her friends in the eyes, who, as far as her fears told her, demanded an explanation.

Please, stop smiling, Pinkie... she thought, watching her pink friend still flashing the tender, kind smile she always had for the unicorn.

“I don’t deserve it.” she muttered.

Applejack, though, slid a caring hoof onto her shoulders and pulled her closer to her coat, nuzzling her neck in the process. Her green eyes shot a look that basically said: 'Ah know that you’re blaming yourself for this: Stop it, sugarcube. Right now, ah mean it.'

That’s all it took for the two to fully understand each other: a look.

If there is was a thing she didn't regret in this moment, it’s her wonderful, hardworking and honest Applejack. A mare that she risked to hurt in more ways than one.

“Girls, I...I’m sorry,” she said. She didn’t know if she had prepared that speech or if her words were sincere. “I really didn’t expect this to happen. I don’t know if I miscalculated something or I just used the wrong spell or something completely different that...I-I—”

Rainbow raised a hoof. "Just calm down, Twi. Take a breath and explain yourself.”

“Like this.” Pinkie sucked the air from her nostrils and blew it out her mouth; she sounded more like a pony drowning into jelly than breathing.

“So, you two are...” the words almost made her choke and gasp, as if not telling them would make it less true.

“Yeah, Nurse Redheart confirmed it and everything this morning.” Rainbow said while Pinkie nodded rapidly. “It goes without saying that you’re probably the most qualified to tell us what the hay happened.”

“Well, it makes babies, Dashie,” Pinkie intervened, raising a hoof. “It doesn’t take a genius to say that, but...Why, Twilight? How come you couldn't predict it?” she asked with the most innocent pair of blue eyes.

Those same blue eyes wreaked all the more havoc on the purple unicorn's conscience, biting at the back of her head the need to make amends.

“What takes me more by surprise is the fact that you used it on each other.” Twilight squeezed the bridge of her nose with a hoof, feeling a headache coming, showing up at the worst possible moment. “I’m not judging or anything, but it complicates the issue!”

“Well, actually—” Pinkie tried to say something, but Rainbow shoved a blue hoof into her mouth, stopping whatever she was about to say.

“Yes. On each other. That’s right,” the pegasus repeated in a creepy monotone voice while winking worryingly at the pink pony.

Of course, Twilight Sparkle didn’t scoff at details so easily, but she knew that answer had to wait. One problem at time, she thought. She continued her explanation and kept talking.

“Well, when I projected the item, I thought it simply fused with a mare and gives her a magically created penis, but as far as you’ve told me it turns that mare into a fully functional hermaphrodite, potency of the semen included! I went for the authenticity but it looks like, I’ve—”

“Screwed up?” Rainbow said, making Twilight silently thank her for finally being a pony that said it right to her face.

“Did a mistake-y?” Pinkie added with her usual chirpy voice.

“Overdid it, maybe?” Applejack threw in her two bits into the conversation, along with her compassionate eyes and getting closer to the truth.

“Yeah, that’s right!” She pointed at the farmpony with a hoof, “But I could be here all day explaining the ‘ifs’ and the ‘buts’, without changing anything. The only thing I can do is—”

“Be our friend,” Pinkie beamed, putting a hoof on her purple shoulder, “Our wonderful, smarty friend, even if a bit eccentric.”

“A friend that allowed us to have not one, but two awesome foals.” Rainbow put a blue hoof on her other shoulder. “Our friend and that won’t change.”

“I promise, no, Pinkie Promise you girls that you can count on me.” The unicorn’s voice’s cracked as a tearful gratitude began to get its hold on her. Applejack looked on with pride as she continued, “Anything, if you need help or advice or a friendly hoof, even if the hormones make you lose your head and you want to insult me just to unwind, I’ll be there for you.”

“And if you do that, our foals will know how awesome their ‘Auntie Twilight’ really is and always will be!” Pinkie signed her thoughtful words with a freakishly big and sincere grin, making Twilight Sparkle simply lose it.

“I’mgonnacheckonthemagicalthinghy!” She ran again inside the barn, trying to hide her stream of tender tears, slamming the door behind her in the process. She could still hear the girlish giggle of the three mares.

As she searched for the magical surrogate, she could feel her conscience easing her grip on her, the magic of friendship lighting up a day that promised to be so bleak...and also the promise of very difficult days of taking care of the foals of her two most energetic friends.

But that’s the least she could do for them. It's the least they deserve and for the love she holds for those friends, for the responsibility she has towards them...she is going to be the best Auntie Equestria has ever seen.

She lit the room with a magical glow from the tip of her horn and searched for the plastic, black dildo, lost among the hay covered floor. She blinked and saw the item hiding in a corner, allowing the mare a small sigh of relief...quickly interrupted by the rustling of hooves on the floor.

“Girls, I think I’ve found i—”

She turned her back, expecting a friendly face, only to feel a sharp blow on her forehead. Something white exploded behind the eyes and pain cloaked with darkness her world.

It felt like years before she saw Applejack shaking the unicorn to awake her. “Twi! Answer me, Twi! How many hooves do ya see?” She raised a hoof.

“Three?”

“Eh, close enough...What happened, sugarcube?”

“I don’t know...Somepony broke in, I think and—” She locked her gaze toward that spot where she expected to see the cause of all her troubles, only to find a cruel void in its place. “It’s gone! The dildo is gone!"

The three mares gasped in shock and all three silently agreed that the day suddenly felt longer...

Pinkie Pie gasped again and looked at Applejack and Rainbow Dash. “Do you realize what this means? We’re smack dab in a SUBPLOT!”

Twilight hit her forehead with a hoof, leaving a red mark, while every possible disastrous outcome started to materialize in her mind...

Author's Note

So, the two weirdest sentence I ever wrote, Fourth Wall shattering AND a small fling with Cerebus Syndrome. What will be next?