The Sea Singer

The Sea SingerChapter Five: The Job     Captain's Monologue-July 28th, year fourteen of the sixth ageIt's been about three days since my last confession, and boy, do I ever have a hell of a story to tell you. First off, the deal with Berry was a disaster (and that's putting it lightly). The bitch stabbed me in the back, ratted me out to EBRoT for Celestia-knows-why. I didn't even see it coming, it just happened. It was the biggest booze bust in history. They came during the deal and halued me off in hoofcuffs to some prison in Midtown. Like always, I broke out, but this time there was another damn squad of goons waiting outside, like they were expecting me to play the jailbird or something. Come to think of it, there weren't even any other criminals in the cells, it was just...empty. Rutting weird if you ask me.Now those gaurds took me to Cantelot Castle to have tea with Princess Celestia herself. No, that is in fact not a typo. Shewants to have a meeting with me. Me. How weird is that? Now I'm just sitting with the senior officers in a waiting room, minutes away from the meeting. Why did Berry screw me like that? What does Celestia want with me? What's going to happen to the Sea Singer and my crew now? And what the hell am I going to do about all this shit?I sighed.     This is going to be a long day. Strider out.X-X-X-X-X     Princess.      Ever had that feeling where you've heard a single word a million and ten times and thought nothing of it, yet one day you speak it yourself and it sounds...strange? Alien, almost; like you had never heard it before.     That's the feeling that I felt whilst standing face to face with Celestia herself. Princess. That's what she was, but not just any princess, she was my princess....and I her subject.     What was I supposed to say? "Hi there, Celly! How have you been? Me? Oh I'm just peachy, being betrayed by a trusted friend and manhandled to you by a group of sweaty gaurds really gives me a new outlook on life. By the way, have you seen my straight jacket? I could have sworn I had it when I left my cell."     Well, it would have been better than saying nothing at all, which is precisely what I did. Princess Celestia was looking right into my eyes, and all I could do was stare back silently.      There was just a feeling that emanated from her, I can't exactly explain it. It was a feeling all too familiar, those who have  before been in the immediate presence of a goddess have known it as I have. It was like watching the crimson orange sun rise up from the depths of the mountainous horizon after staying awake through a hard, starless night. I felt...warm, like the rays of undulating light would drive away my fears and sheild me from the dark and cold world beyond these walls. I felt safe; safe and secure under her protection. I felt a surge of something that had been scarce in the land of Equestria these days, I felt hope. Hope for my family, hope for my crew, hope for my future. Warmth, safety, and hope...that's what the princesses embodied and projected to those around her.     "Woah." I managed to say, eyes still wide and mouth still agape.      Celestia spoke with a trace of humor in her voice, and what a wonderful voice it was. "I get that a lot."     "Erhm..." I looked to my crew for some idea as to what to say or do, they just mirrored my dumbfounded look, emphasis on the dumb.     "Woah." all eight of the crewmembers shared my sentiment in unison.     As if on cue, everyrpony realized at the exact same time that they probably should bow down, what with her being our supreme ruler and all. So we did bow, those who had hats took them off, and those who had eyes lowered them to the floor.     "Rise, crew of the Sea Singer." Celestia gently ordered us "There is no need to bow before me any more, this is a free country after all." She paused a moment as her eyes fell upon Scootaloo, her voice hardening slightly "And get that poor child out of those chains, this is a place of discussions and diplomacy, not interrogation."     Almost out of nowhere, two royal gaurds marched forward and obediently freed the mare that they had chained up minutes ago. Her cuffs clattered to the floor with a great echo. It seemed that this day was destined to be filled with many a lock and key.     Scootaloo bowed her head once more and murmered a quiet "Thanks."     I put my hat back upon my head as we all stood up to once again look our sovereign in the eye. "I-uh.." Quick, Cloud! Think of something witty to say! "I was told there would be tea... here."     The pony in my head facehoofed How clever. That may have been one of your finest yet. I mean it, really.The princess cocked a multi-hued eyebrow at me "Indeed there will. Come, come and sit, Captain. We have much to discuss." That being said, she did an about-face and briskly trotted deeper into the chamber beyond those big doors.     We hesitantly walked in after her. The inside of this room was much more spacious than any of the other places that I had seen in the castle, it could have been fifty feet from floor to ceiling for all I knew. Celestia was already seated at the end of a grand dining table, made to hold banquets for dozens of ponies, yet at the time it was void of any food or silverware save for several eggshell white porcelain tea sets. The table was covered in a gold trimmed cherry red cloth from end to end, with two carved thrones at the very head, one made with polished marble and gold and the other with black basalt and silver. Celestia sat at the marble one, as per her usual color scheme.      I stared at the room's features in awe. Hanging directly above was a crystal chandelier the size of a small carriage. A series of polished bronze rods and wiring held together what could have been hundreds of  individual clear crystals, arranged in layers that descended by size. The ceiling that the chandelier hung heavily from curved outward like a dome. The inside of this dome was hoof painted by a long-dead master artist whos name I had probably read in a textbook. It depicted what I interpreted was the founding of Equestria; many ponies were painted into three crowds, one unicorn, one pegasus, and one earth. These crowds all stood around the upper-center in a semi circle, they surrounded the centerpiece of this massive  painting. Held in the middle was a relief of the two Sisters standing side-by-side on a grassy green hill, they looked out on their adoring subjects with warm smiles.     The architects of Equestria That Once Was certainly spared no expense building this place, and with good reason. Canterlot Castle was essentially built to last forever.     "First timers always stare at the ceiling." Princess Celestia chuckled, her voice carried through the room well, the acoustics in this place were great. I wished that I had brought my harmonica.     The whole crew snapped their attention back to the goddess before them, cheeks slightly redder than before. She made a sweeping gesture to exactly nine spots split up on both sides of the tables, each set with an empty cup and saucer. We all slowy shuffled to our randomly chosen spots and took a seat. I noted that there were four on her left hoof side and five on her left. I chose the seat second closest to the princess, with Easybreeze and Derpy on either side of me.     All ponies (and griffins and diamond dogs) awkwardly glanced at one another for a good long while, everybody had no clue what to say. The silence was mercifully broken by a sharply dressed servant trotting in without a care in the world, his hoofsteps reverberated in the room and put us all a little bit more on edge, all except for Celestia, that is. The servant poured us all a cup of steaming amber tea and trotted back out with a tip of his hat.     Naturally, the princess was first to speak "Ah, before we begin, Captain, I have but one question to ask of you."    Please let the question be about my favorite color, and not about my recent criminal records! I so did not want to explain those little felonies to the rutting princess of Equestria. Though, she probably already knew of that, it's just that I wasn't to keen to reiterate those facts to somepony who could have had me hung from the rafters like a sick Nightmare Night decoration.     Regardless of the pony in my head screaming no, I said yes. "I'll answer it the best I can then."      She took a sip of tea and  loudly cleared her throat "Do you trust the ponies at your side?"     I allowed myself a quick glance to a few select members of the crew "Would you explain that question a little further?"     "Would you trust your fellow sailors with anything in this world? Would you put your life in their hooves, or claws in some cases? Do you know that they would keep even your most deeply hidden secrets? Can you depend on them to be at your side, come hell or high water?"     I opened my mouth to say something but my words died. That was a good question, if a little bit out of the blue. These people...I've known them for years. I've seen some of them grow up, I've even raised one of them from a filly as my own daughter. I've seen some of them fall down, down into the deepest pits of despair,  yet I was there to pick them up and dust them off. And I know that they would do the same for me. Most have been with me since the christening of the Sea Singer herself, they've seen her constructed from the ground up. These eight that crew my ship are a part of me, part of my crew, and part of my ship. They were, dare I say it, a family to me. They were no different to me than brother or sister.     I took a long hard look at the people before me. They looked back with solemn expressions. We all knew what I was thinking,  no words were needed to be said. Years of familiarity had given us the near-psycic abilities to read one another's feelings.     Yes. I can trust them.      I gave the princess a small nod "Aye, that I can."     "And your word is your bond, correct?"     "Aye, what I say that I will do, I do."     Celestia was not one to miss the looks exchanged between my crew and I, she smiled a warm smile, like a mother unto her child "Exellent. I also have a small question for your crew as well."      The crew of the Sea Singer sat up just a little straighter at the mere mention of their name. All eyes were wide and all interests piqued.      "Do you feel the same way as your captain feels for you? Will you do unto him as he has promised to do unto you?"     "What kind of question is that?!" Sweetie said a little more loudly than she had meant. The unicorn shrank back in her seat as we all looked to her in suprise. "Of coarse we do."     "Yeah!" said Crowe "What la chica said! We got his back." His words were met with a chorus of agreement.      Without warning, Derpy locked a foreleg around my neck and preceded to give me a nuggie "He's my best friend, I wouldn't do anything to let him down."     "As much as he enjoys aggravating me," Cotton Swab chimed in "I have to agree with everypony else. He's quite a leader."     The princess had a look of serenity about her when she said "Then we are all in agreement then. Everypony can trust everypony."     I unhooked myself from Derps, took a sip of my tea, and turned to Celestia "So, Princess, now that you know about close I am to my crew, might I inquire as to why you've called us here?"     "You're not a pony who enjoys to beat around the bush." she said "I can respect that." Celestia took a moment to gather her thoughts and stare at a half cup of drink. "I have summoned you and your friends here to hear out a proposition that I had been meaning to make."     Many eyebrows were raised. So that's why I'm here then. To broker a deal with Her Highness. I can honestly say that it's not the last idea to cross my mind. Celestia was a powerful pony, that much was obvious. But, with all her power, why make a deal with me? What can I offer that everypony else can't?     "What kind of a proposition, Princess?" Doctor Swab immediately asked.     "One of...redemption." she cautiously answered "You see, I have a task that the military or any other party under my influence cannot preform, I find myself in need of ponies with a skillset such as yours."     "Y'all need smugglers?" Applebloom inquired bluntly "Why, shoot, ya came to the right ponies fet that."     "In a way of speaking, I need somepony not bound by the codes and regulations of governmental work, ponies who prefer to go around the system rather than through it."     "So, smugglers you mean."     I could have sworn that the princess rolled her eyes "If you must call yourselves that, then yes, I do need smugglers."     "And this redemption?"     She took another calm sip from her teacup "In light of your recent transgressions against The Equestrian Beruau for the Regulation of Trade, I am offering complete amnesty from these crimes in exchange for your services. Call it community service."     "Trading my prison sentence for community service." I mused aloud "Though, the freedom of one pony isn't worth having my whole ship full of sailors go on some sort of quest for the princess. It takes quite a bit of motivation to move my crew."     Celestia sank back into the seat of her throne and hid half of her face behind that ethereal mane "And who said it is the freedom of one pony that I was speaking of?"      The Princess's horn flared with a brief golden light, suddenly a large stack of papers materialized on to the middle of the table with a small puff of smoke. They were folders, eight in all.     Celestia telekinetically passed each one of us, save for Oakfang, a beige folder with a black and white photo of us stapled onto the very cover. Judging by he holes in my hat and coat, this pictues were recent, very recent. More so than I was comfortable with in fact.     "Well whad'dya know? I do have a file."     "Indeed you do, Captain Cloudstrider." the alicorn said stoically "I have personal and detailed files of all of the stallions and mares serving on your ship. I am not a pony to make her decisions half-cocked, I am a pony who does her homework."     Scowling, I flipped through the hefty file full of paper. Damn, they had copies of everything from my birth certificate, to my tax records, my high school diploma, and even the papers for the Sea Singer in it. I half expected my fifth grade report card to be in there, too. Oh look, my criminal records. Let's see: smuggling, smuggling, smuggling,  theivery, smuggling,  public urination (good times), smuggling, smuggling, possession of alcohol, resisting arrest, assaulting an officer of the law, smuggling. What was yet to be added to my resume of crime was my recent "super-smuggling."     "Stored inside those files are enough records to put each an every one of you in prison for a good long while. Trust me, that information was not at all easy to obtain."     "This is, th-this is...blackmail!" Scootaloo shouted.      "You said it, mi amiga!"     "Gal dern, I didn't 'spect this from a princess!"     "Who do you think we are? Some kind of criminal scum?"     "This shouldn't be legal!"     "It isn't!"    "But she IS the princess."     Rabble rabble rabble.     "Ladies and gentlecolts!" Celestia shouted over the rabbling "Compose yourselves!" My crew and I reluctantly sank back into our chairs, quietly fuming. She took a final swig of her Earl Grey and set the cup back into its saucer "It is not like these documents do not hold the truth. Each and every crime listed in your papers are all accurate."     Celestia scanned the small crowd of people before her with a stern look "You've all committed some kind of crime against the state in one way or another, smuggling and thievery being the most prominent, but not the worst.--" she leveled her gaze onto the grey unicorn sitting across from me "--Doctor Cotton Swab, you have been practicing medicine without a license on your airboat for how many years now?"     The good doctor sunk even further into her cushy velvet seat, too fearful of the princess's icy stare to say anything.     "And you, Mister Crowe." she said, pointing a hoof in the griffin's direction "You are in the top twenty most wanted pirates in the country, you've sailed under every notorious flag in the Green Sea."     Crowe crossed his arms defiantly "Ain't nopony can prove that, Your Majesty."     "Not to mention you three!" Celestia said to the three Crusaders sitting next to one another "You've been unintentional arsonists since you were fillies, and I have not forgotten your three counts of grand theft zeppelin. Not to mention how the ship's pilot has never had a license to fly that thing in all of her life. It is only by my governmental sway and good graces that you are allowed within fifty feet of an airship."     The three exchanged looks with one another "Well," said Applebloom "Ya got us there, Princess."     Princess Celestia's eyes fell upon a charcoal black diamond dog sitting next to Derpy "And I don't even know a thing about you. Tell me, Mister Oakfang, are you an innocent dog?"     Oakfang, with all his stoicism, looked Celestia right in the eye, never flinching or even blinking. He slowly shook his "no" and said nothing.      "So you have commited crimes?"     He nodded.     "Name them."     Oakfang stared at her wordlessly.      Her eyes darted from me to the diamond dog "Speak up, then."     I took an awkward sip of my drink "Ah princess. He's kind of a mute. A selective mute. He only speaks when he needs to."     Celestia nodded, turning her attention away from the dog and on to me "And you." she said with a trace of hardness in her voice "Both you and your first mate have committed dozens of acts against the state and gotten away scott-free. Smuggling, theft, assault, armed robbery, flying with an outdated license plate, possession of outlawed goods, possession of over a hundred unregistered firearms, the list goes on and on, my friends."     I couldn't help but feel a bit of pride for myself and my crew, we did love to get into trouble. Especially when that trouble nets us a tidy little profit. Especially when we get to screw EBRoT while we do it.     "We keep our Singer in the air any way we can." I said firmly, gaining me a few hesitant nods from the crew "If that means some fat cat looses a couple of platinum in the process, so be it. But you already knew about that, didn't you?"     Celestia folder her hooves together and eyed me warily. After a pregnant pause, she said "Is that all you care for, Captain Strider? Flying that ship of yours."     "Until the day I die." Which, given my current situation, may come sooner than later.     "Then we have reached an agreement." Celestia said  "You will do this task for me and I let you go free."     Derpy, despite her normal appearance, looked thoroughly confused "Did I fall asleep again? When did the captain agree to that?"     "The captain didn't agree to nothin'!" Crowe told her. He regarded Celestia with a hard look "Princess, it ain't an agreement if only one hoof does the shaking, if you know what I mean."     The goddess returned his look with calculated coolness "I do know what you mean, Mister Crowe. And no, nopony has yet given their word. But he said it himself: "any way that we can." Your captain knows that I am offering the only escape from that hole he has dug both himself and you gentleponies into. I know he is going to accept my gracious offer for certain."     All heads turned to me, everypony seemed to expect me to either confirm or deny it. I resisted the urge to give them a big toothy grin and totally kill the mood.     "Ugh," I said "Princess, when you're right, you're right." Why did everpony always have the upper hoof on me? And I really meant what I said, Celestia had me licked. It's either jail time for a ship full of sailors, or giving the Princess a freebie in exchange for a blank slate. When it gets right down to the basic facts, she was giving me a helluva good deal. I might have not agreed with the methods used to broker said deal, but hey, you know what ponies say about beggars and choosers.     Maybe it won't have to be a freebie "I'll do this job for you. Though, I have a few conditions first."     Celestia let off a mirthless chuckle "You are not exactly in a bargainig position, Captain. But go ahead, speak your terms nonetheless."     I nodded curtly and took another pull from me tea cup "Thank you, Your Majesty. So; number one, and this is non-negotiable: remove your spy from my ship before we leave port. If you wanted to keep an eye on me, at least have the good grace to do it anywhere but under my nose."     For a short moment, that diplomatic look of her faltered. She instead flashed a barely perceptible grimace. "I'm sorry to say, Captain, I have no idea what you're talking about."     Had she not be the princess and grand co-ruler of Equestria, I would have rolled my eyes "There's no way that news can travel that fast from a hooch runner with a shallow gene pool on Serenity Island to the ears of Princess Celestia herself. You have an undercover spy aboard my ship. Probably the one that put together all the info in that there folder. It wasn't that hard to figure out."     "That may be true, or it may not." she said with an unreadable expression and a blank tone "I am obligated by my duties as a princess to not depart that information to you. So I will deny it every time, whether I am lying or not shall remain a mystery. Regardless, I'll honor your condition to remove this imaginary spy." Celestia closed her eyes and cast a spell, her horn flaring up with gold light, then dying down. "There, the spy is gone. Satisfied?"     Whatever. I'll find that spy eventually, and then I'll stick him to a giant hook on a steel cable and use him as bait to fish for manticores in the Everfree, then I'll tame the manticore I catch and make it my pet and name it after him. I like to be ironic like that.     "Have you any other terms, Captain, or is that all?"     "No, I also need one thousand in platinum."     "Surely you must be joking!"     "I'm not. And don't call me Shirley." Somewhere, I heard the distant sound of exactly two beats of a drum and one beat of a cymbal.  Ba-dum pshh."I would think that the freedom of your entire crew and yourself would suffice for a simple job."     "You would think wrong. You're a princess with pockets as deep as an ocean trench, I'm a businesspony with bills that could be paid with very little in respect to your vast wealth. See where I'm coming from?"    "I can. I'll give you five hundred platinum, no more, no less."     "This job must be incredibly important for you to keep under EBRoT's radar, or else I would still be in a cell. Nine hundred."     "Six."     "Good luck finding a decent smuggler that will do it for that much. You may find one, but they won't be as handsome as me. Seven fifty."    "You are trying my patience, Mister Strider. Six fifty."     "You interfered with a lare business transaction of mine. Seven should cover the costs."     "Those transactions were illegal. Six fity is final! I did not even intend to pay a single bit for this, consider yourself blessed to have it."     "Okay, six fifty...and you send us your best team of grease monkies to give the Singer full repairs and a tune-up." I caught Applebloom grinning at from the corner of my eye.     Celestia turned a few shades redder, I could have guessed that she was gritting her teeth behind that mask of diplomatic impartiality. Gee, it sure was nice to have a cutie mark in haggling.     "Fine." she huffed "But I'm only allowing you that much because It would be more expensive to aquire another candidate for the job. And because it suits me."     I leaned back in my chair and gave the princess a smug grin. It was good to be me.X-X-X-X-X     I was relaxing on the deck of my beloved Sea Singer watching the ponies on the docks below shuffle around a few boxes of heavy equipment, they were busy as ants picking apart and carrying away a dropped jelly bean. Celestia had made good on her word and sent four gearheads my way, loaded with enough tools and raw material to make a second Sea Singer (along with a nice chest of shiny square coins). They were in and out in three hours, that was about thirty percent faster than any old commercial repair shop could do. I had to get me one of those in the crew, maybe Singer wouldn't break down so often if I had a few more hooves in the engine room. Sadly, the rates of permanently hiring one of those top-class engineers was totally out of my pay grade, even if I could haggle the princess for more platinum.     But after four days in Canterlot, it felt like a breath of fresh air to be back on my ship. Words cannot describe how much I missed my baby. And hey, despite that little rough patch, I actually made it out of this town better than I came in! I had a job, enough cash to get it done, the princess's autograph, and a slate wiped clean of all black spots. All of them. This was one of those days where it was good to be me.      You may be wondering by now, Cloud, what did the princess even want you to do?!Well, children, I had truly had not a single rutting clue at the time. Celestia had said to wait for "a trusted friend of mine" to show up and hand me the job description, though this friend didn't show up with the engies. That was just great, by the way, having another government official hover over me and take stock of everthing from my petty thefts to my bowel movements. Speaking of which, I noticed when I returned to the Singer that one of the newer members of the crew mysteriously dissappeared. It was that one mare who liked to watch me from the corner of her eye. Funny how things like that happen.      An hour of lazing around the deck went by before my trusted first mate tapped me on the shoulder.      "Fancy meeting you here." I said cheerily.      Derpy grinned "Feels like forever since we first got to Canterlot! I think I've had enough debauchery for one week, don't you agree?"     "Ahh, but it's only Thursday, my friend. We still have three days of knocking heads and getting arrested left to go."     "I think I'll sit out until Monday." she giggled "Anyway, the mare that Celestia was talking about is waiting outside, I assume you'd wanna go meet her."     "You assume correctly. Come on, let's go give her a cold an emotionally distant Sea Singer welcome." And with that, we made our way out to the dock.X-X-X-X-X     This friend of Celestia's stood idly looking about the crates and boxes of the cargo bay when I came in. She was this thin, curvy little number, had kind of a secretary look about her. You know the type; looked good but wasn't about to do anything to pull her own weight kind of mare. She didn't look like she would be fit to live and work on an airship like most other working-class ponies. She was probably in administration or something.     Her traffic-cone orange mane was worn down, coming to the nape of her neck. She had a well-kept coat of navy blue that really contrasted with her mane, it was sort of a Nightmare Night kind of color scheme. Her cutie mark was obscured by a set of fancy-shmancy designer saddlebags with a silver crescent set into the latch.     She gave Derps and I a cold, calculating look with a pair of cyan eyes, much like the princess had done earlier. "Good evening, sir and madame. Are either one of you Captain Cloudstrider of the airship Sea Singer?" Her voice didn't match what I had expected, it was hard and authoritive in a matriarchal sort of way. I had expected to be all high-class, kind of like Rarity's. Oddly, it had a sort of vague familiarity to it. Had she been a public speaker? Maybe I had hit on her once before.     I raised a hoof like a shoolcolt in a class "That's my name, don't wear it out. Who are you?"     She strode toward me with those long legs and offered a hoof "I am Harvest Moon, your taskmaster for the job you are to undertake for My--." She stopped herself "For Her Majesty."     I eyed her hoof, but did not shake it "I have a taskmaster..." It was more of a statement than a question.     "Indeed." Harvest Moon said "I am to accompany you on this job and see that it is completed to the satisfactory of Princess Celestia."     Well shit, this wasn't going to be fun. I didn't exactly react well to authority, that's kind of why I shot the only captain I've ever had and took over his ship as my own. Having somepony call my shots for me is one of the three things that I try to actively avoid... the other two being pirates and exes.     I sighed. This was going to be a long day. Looking her in the eye, I said "Alright, look, I'm not going to try and argue you out of here... because it's likely that even I can't get away from defying the princess that much. So, just stay out of our way and things will go smoothly. Oh, and unless it's about the job, for the love of Luna, please keep your mouth shut. Aside from those things, welcome aboard." I took her still extended hoof in my own and shook it.     She hadn't even blinked, her face was still calm and cool "That's an odd way to treat your honored guests, Captain. Having read your file, I should have expected this type of behavior from you. I intend to not make the same mistake in the future."     I rolled my eyes "Has everpony read my file?"     "Only the ones that haven't."     How helpful. "Come on, I'll show you to your room."     I did an about-face and went of a few paces down the hall. I peeked my head back through the doorway when she didn't follow "You coming?"     She shook her head "I'd actually prefer it if I briefed you on this job first."     I let out an exasperated breath of hot air "Fine, follow me."X-X-X-X-X     We sat across from each other in the Singer's mess hall, freshly brewed cups of black coffe in hoof. The mess hall lived up to its legendary name, being a complete and total mess. We here in the Sea Singer pride ourselves in being brutally slobbish. Well, what can I say? We're sailors. Being vulgar, dirty, and totally rude is what we live for. Some more than others. We only clened this place about once a month, right after the monthly food fight. Drawing the short straw for chores is never a good thing on this boat.     The place was empty, save for Harvest Moon, I, and the ship's head chef slash bartender, a North Griffin-speaking griffin named Gustave. We sat at a table while Gustave was busy behind the counter wiping down an old iron pot with a rag.     Moon flicked her eyes toward the chef "Are you certain he should be hearing this? Celestia explicitly stated that she wanted only you and your senior officers to know the details of this mission."     Gustave, in response, chose to raise his fist at the mare with the center claw extended. That was just a strange thing he did to everypony on she ship. Crowe said it was a sign of acknowledgment to non-griffins. They called it "flipping the bird."     "Him? He's a senior too, been with us for eight years. You can tell him anything. One taste of his grub and you'll spill your guts." In more ways than one.     "Why thank you, Capitaine." he drawled sarcastically in that nasal accent of his.     "Anytime, Gus." I took a drink of my coffe. I'll take this stuff over princess-style tea any day of the week.     "Zzzzzt Attention, all senior officers:" Sweetie's scratchy voice crackled to life over the intercom "Drop your trash, move your ass, and get there fast! Meeting in the mess hall bzzzt."     "Does she always curse over the intercom?"     "Only when she can talk."     "Lovely."     After we drained our cups half way, all eight of the crewmembers crowded round a table big enough to seat four, myself and Harvest huddled in the middle.     "So this is the new chick, eh?" Crowe asked, eyeing the mare "Pleased to meet a bella dama like you." Without warning reached across the table, grabbed her dark blue hoof, and kissed it. He wiggled his eyebrows seductively at her.     Moon wrenched her hoof away from the griffin "Tú no eres mi tipo, pirata."     Crowe crossed his arms "Mojigato."     "Bárbaro."     "Perra."     "Idiota."     "Could everypony please insult each other in Equestrian?!" Cotton Swab interjected.      "She started it." said Crowe.     "I'll end it!" I growled, silencing the three. "Good. Now that everpony is on the same page, let's hear what Miss Harvest Moon has to say."     "Thank you, Captain." Moon cleared her throat and umdid the latch on her saddlebags "Now, this job isn't as simple as you might think."     Everypony groaned.     She ignored us "It is not one little errand that Celestia would send one of her hoofservants to run, that would be a waste of resources on her part. It is, in fact, a sort of "search an aquire" task if you will, with multiple steps."     "Like a scavenger hunt or somethin'?" Applebloom asked.     Harvest fished out a stack of papers about the size of an average dictionary and plopped them down on the table with an audible creek "Exactly, only we aren't trying to find items, we're looking for important ponies."     I noticed that this stack of papers was a series of color coded folders filled with important-looking documents, each one with a different name and cutie mark. Good to know that the princess has an eye on everypony ever born. "So my ship is going to be used as a glorified taxi service." I mused aloud "Y'know, I should'a stayed in bed today."     "Maybe so, but all of these ponies have no idea that we are about to pick them up, some may not want to just put their lives on hold to come to Canterlot, and that's where we come in. Our job is to find the ponies that our princess has fallen out of touch with. Unfortunately, most of them do not trust EBRoT, they will be more cooperative with a "working stallion" than a government offical. Mister Strider, you have a special talent for bargaining, Celestia believes that you can persuade them to come with you."     "So what's up with these ponies that gets Celestia all hot and bothered? What are they? Fugitives? Politicians? Witnesses?"     She slid the topmost document to me "See for yourself."     This one was a lavender purple color. I read it aloud "Twilight Sparkle - F - Alicorn."     "Wait, this can't be...?" I grabbed a second folder, it read: Applejack - F -Earth Pony, Fluttershy - F - Pegasus "It is."     "Is what?" Sweetie asked, craning her head to get a look at these files "Lemme see."    "The Bearers of the Elements of Harmony." Harvest said in a matter-of-fact way "National heros."     "Mah sister?" Applebloom drawled "Well shoot, she ain't a very hard pony ta find. I just saw 'er 'bout a month ago."     "Yeah, and Rarity has been living in Midtown for years now!"     "Perhaps theh might be easy to find now," Moon said cautiously "but times in times like these, ponies can fall off of the grid in a matter of days. With the literal sea of hiding places that could forever go unchecked, it's a living hell to pick out one pony and find them."      She was right. How do you think I could run up a crime streak like that and get away with it? Well, maybe the princess might have  had a hoof in it, but the point is that Sea Singer and I can dissappear in this sprawling country like a fart on a windy day.      "So what big 'n bag monster is coming this time?" I asked.     Moon cocked an eyebrow "Pardon?"     "Well, those six mares and their shiny magic gems are our last line of defense against all the big, scary monsters and stuff, right?"     "Correct."     "Then it's obvious that they're needed to go shoot their friendship laser at something again. So who's the lucky villain this time?"     She squinted "That's on a need-to-know basis."     From behind me, I heard Oakfang grunt his disapproval.      "What he said." I said "We have a need to know."    "No, you don't." she returned "Gripe if you wish, your only job is to transport these ponies to Celestia. I will inform you if that policy has changed at all."     Eh, whatever. I'll find out what's coming soon enough. After all, the last few calamities that they fixed hadn't exactly gone unnoticed. Though, it's remarkable how they save the world so many times and stayed relatively unmolested by rogue fandoms and ravenous media companies.     "Alright then." Scootaloo chimed in "Who do we start with?"     "I'll leave that to you ponies." said Harvest "You may want to take a look at those files, find out who is the best pony to start off with."     I drained the last drops of coffe from my cup "So is that all?"     "It is."     "Well then, I move to adjourn this shindig. All in favor?"     "Aye!" came a chorus of voices.     I produced a gavel from my coat pocket and slammed it down on the table with an amusing Crack! "Meeting adjourned! Oak, be a gent and show miss Moon to one of the empty officer's cabins."     Oakfang nodded solemnly and led the mare out of the room.     "As for everypony else, get to your stations! I want to see this goddessforsaken town from my back window by sunset."      "Do we have a heading, Captain?" asked Scoots.     "Yes, get us far the hell away from Canterlot and find a nice quiet place to hover." I pointed a hoof at Applebloom "Bloom, put us on half burn as soon as we break from port."     The mares gave a crisp salute and an "AYE, CAP'IN!" then dashed off for their posts.     "Crowe, get up in your nest and keep an eye out for the colts in blue, chances are that Celestia won't wipe our slates until we finished the job."     "AYE CAP'IN!"     "Derps, keep an eye on the newcomer. She's trouble just waiting to happen, and I can feel it."     "AYE CAP'IN!"     "Everypony else, to your stations, let's move it! Time is money!"     A chorus of "AYE CAP'IN!"     "And Gustave..."     "Oui?"     "I think I'm gonna need another cuppa joe."     "Aye, Capitaine."I passed my empty cup to him and he filled it with a steaming fresh pot of sludgelike coffe. I took another sip, the caffine rushing to my brain. Goddesses, this stuff was horrible, but you get used to it after ten years.     I drained the mug in a few big gulps "Ahhh...This gig is going to a major pain in the flank, isn't it?" I asked the cook.     "It always is, Capitaine, it always is."     He poured me another coffe. Perhaps it was time for something stronger. "Yeah, always..."End Act INext up:Act II- The Castaway