The Average Life of Lyra and Bon Bon... Or Other Misleading Titles

The Average Life of Lyra and Bon Bon... Or Other Misleading Titles
Chapter Six - Dresses and Messes: Part Three

Lyra

I was somewhat surprised to find the moment of truth had already come. Bon Bon was home earlier than usual, indicating that something must have happened at work to cause her to want to cut her already shortened day even shorter. It was especially surprising considering she had told me initially to meet her in the park later.

I had swung by a little cafe in town to get some sandwiches for dinner after leaving Rarity's and had then come home to get cleaned up and ready to go and meet Bonnie. I was in the middle of brushing my teeth when I heard her putting her cart away and realized the night would be going slightly off the script I had envisioned. All the same, I did my best to greet my Bonnie with as much cheer as I could before showing her the dress.

"It's a beautiful dress just for YOU!"

"HUH?!" Bon Bon exclaimed, looking completely flabbergasted by what she was seeing in front of her. I just smiled.

"I hope you like it, Bonnie," I said warmly.

"Lyra, where in all Tartarus did this even come from?" Bonnie replied, looking completely at a loss.

I laughed giddily. "Well, Rarity made it, of course," I said. "It came from Carousel Boutique!"

"And how did you acquire it, Lyra?" Bon Bon inquired, still not showing much emotion one way or the other. I was starting to get kind of worried. "You didn't do anything bad, did you? I know you wouldn't just take something nice like this from somepony..."

"Of course not, silly!" I started with a goofy grin and a nod. "I bought it the normal way just like anyone else!"

"You don't have any money, Lyra!" Bon Bon shouted, still looking at a loss. "Please don't tell me that bitch Rarity tricked you into paying for this on some kind of credit. We won't be able to afford it."

"Bonnie!" I shouted n disapproval. "Rarity is super nice!" I asserted. "And besides, that's not what happened at all. I paid fully for this dress in advance over a week ago!"

"But how?!" Bon Bon continued to shout. "None of the rent money was missing...you still contributed around your normal amount. Unless you just tripped over a big ass sack full of bits one day I can't see how it's even possible."

"Silly, Bonnie. There wasn't anything like that," I said, shaking my head. "For the past month, I've been working harder than ever just so I could get this for you."

"But how...? Not all of Ponyville appreciates your music..." Bon Bon said through a sigh. "Even if you spent more time each day busking, I can't see you ever being able to get anywhere close to two hundred and however many bits this would cost." She looked downward in though for a moment and then back up at me. "Have you been working a second job all this time?"

"Nope," I said with another shake of my head. "But... you know how four weeks ago I 'accidentally' fell asleep on that train to the Crystal Empire and wasn't able to get back for five days?" I glanced aside from my mare for a moment. "Yeah, that wasn't an accident. Turns out since they're all basically from 1000 years in the past, stuff like lyre music is still really popular there and they were having this big faire that needed performers... I was able to get almost a hundred bits on that one trip alone–which even with the cost of the train tickets paid for over half, especially since Rarity was willing to work at a bit of a discount for me when I told her about everything..."

Bon Bon stared in shock. "But why?" she exclaimed. "It's wonderful if you can find new ways to make more bits... but why a dress? Your extra bits could have gone a long way toward the rent and maintenance."

"I know!" I replied, tearing up a little. "But... I wanted to... just this once get you something special..."

"Lyra?" Bon Bon started, her voice coming down a few levels as she looked me over.

"I love you, Bon Bon.... more than anything ever. But I'm never able to show it very good," I spoke earnestly, my voice shaking somewhat from anxiety. "B-but I usually contribute so little... a-and every time it's your birthday or a holiday or an anniversary all I can do is sing for you or give you extra cuddles and kisses and stuff, while–even if its just chocolates–you always get me a real gift." I looked at her then, more tears in my eyes. "Just this once I wanted to do it different than that. I wanted to get you something special, something that actually meant something more, something to adequately show you just how much you really mean to me."

"L-Lyra..." Bon Bon murmured after a moment, she was crying a little. "I never knew you–... I mean..." she moved toward me then and raised her hoof. She then lightly hit the back of my head. "You idiot! Those things... your gifts... they always meant plenty to me. I was never anything but happy with you. I didn't need anything like this..."

"So you don't like it?" I asked closing my eyes and trembling. I opened my eyes again to find Bonnie kissing me. My eyes widened and more tears left them.

"I love it, Lyra..." Bonnie said, smiling at me. "But more importantly, I love you, and you don't need to do these kinds of things to make that true."

"But you deserve them, Bonnie! You deserve all of the best things a pony can get," I said with a nod. Bon Bon embraced me.

"Damn right, I do! Still, our budget really can't take you pulling this kind of crap too many times, Lyra," she said in a more or less cheerful voice as I hugged her. She gave a warm chuckle. "Though I gotta say that after my shittiest day in a long while, feels good to come back home to something like this."

"Yay!" I cheered gleefully. "I'm so happy!" Tilting my head then, I recalled some other stuff I wanted to tell Bonnie. "Oh, by the way, Mr. Ficksitup is coming over tomorrow to check out the roof. He said it'll probably be at least 120 bits but could be more depending on the mold."

Bon Bon stepped back wordlessly, she looked at me really seriously before looking at the dress. I shook my head.

"I know what you're going to say, Bonnie, but I won't let you," I said, shaking my head. "I thought about it a lot today, and some things... they're just more important than having the money..."

Bonnie smiled weakly and gave a sigh. "I know, Lyra. I won't ask you to take it back," she said, as if it was hard to say it. "I'll cherish it... it's just..." She closed her eyes and gave a small groan. "Nah, screw it. We'll make it work somehow. I'm sure we can."

I smiled and bounced toward Bonnie, hugging her again. "Yay!" I then bounced back and moved the dress toward her with my magic. "That all out of the way, you have to try it on! I can't wait to see you in it! You're going to look so amazing!" I spoke like a giddy foal.

Bon Bon chuckled and grabbed the dress. "Yeah, yeah. Just you wait; the real thing is gonna be twenty times sexier than whatever you're imagining," she said with a grin.

She wandered into the back then with the dress. I stood in place eagerly waiting for her to emerge, the anticipation growing quickly with each second that passed.

Bon Bon

Sometimes, I want to strangle to death the mare I love so much. She couldn't just do something silly and dumb and I couldn't just yell at her for a few minutes and then trot outside to suck in the dirty town air before we had wild makeup sex. Of course not. That would be easy and silly and it wouldn't make me feel any differently than I deserve to feel. Instead, she had to be so good and nice and sweet and that only made the fact that it was a damn retarded thing to do even worse to swallow.

Not that I was going to say that to her. Not after all the effort she had put into it. I'm a royal thundercunt, but I'm Lyra's royal thundercunt. Like a mother to a child the worst thing i could imagine is her tears, and the second worst was thinking I'm the cause of her sadness. Once in awhile I had to bap her around the ears to get her attention or prove a point, but those were occasions that gave rise to my own, err, humble fury that I had to resort to such methods. But she hadn't done anything to deserve it–well, she had... but fuck it, the dress was pretty. Pretty enough for me to keep my anger lidded up.

As I went back to get dressed, I bit our bed and screamed into the sheets. WHAT THE FUCK! We needed the goddamn money! AHHHHH! AHHHHH! THE ROOF WAS STILL LEAKING ONTO MY FUCKING MANE GODDAMNIT IT ALL AHHHHHHHH!

"Ah," I said after a few moments of thrashing on the bed. I'd have Lyra make it. Her fault. I redid my beautiful mane, put on some beautiful makeup on my beautiful face, and worked my way into the dress. She had taken rather exact measurements, that perverted, wonderful lover of mine. It was snug but comfortable, my top half encased in sensual grace. Rarity did great work, even if she wanted to go snout-first into Rainbow Dash's unwilling crotch more desperately than was healthy for her.

After a few more moments of prep, I felt rather spiffy and trotted to the door and pushed it open.

"Madame, I believe zat your lover is ready, yes?" I whispered sensually out into the living room in my best Prench accent as I entered slowly. It sounded pretty good too. I had gotten lost in that weird-flank portion of Equestria as a filly and had to hitchhike various pegasi rides back home. And no you dirty lecherous stallions, I didn't get fucked. Bon Bon doesn't get fucked. Bon Bon fucks... But still, no, I didn't have sex with them.

That was the Stalliongrad trip.

"Oh! You look...wow!" Lyra was stunned and I couldn't blame her. And in your heart, you know you couldn't either.

"Ah yes, vow is such a vonderful descriptor, my dear," I replied breathily, approaching her and swaying my backside seductively. She was suitably entranced and I bit her ear playfully, tugging with a vicious smile. She had spent all the money all the time and we had a leaking roof–after tonight the roof wouldn't be the only thing leaking all the time.

Three swift knocks on the door interrupted the mood, though I refused to let go of her ear. Damnit, I hadn't had sex in three whole days and if I didn't get it soon I was gonna start clopping to smells and that was a sign of desperation. Not that I spoke from experience! I was too good for that. Most of the time.

The knocks continued and I let go, though I kept the smile.

"Keep me avake, darling," I gave Lyra a deep kiss that matched my accent before pulling myself away and trotting to the door, smile vanishing along the way. This is why I needed hired muscle who could beat the shit out of anypony who dared approach me as I was starting to get riled up. I opened the door slowly, sighing.

"What do you-"

"Bon Bon, do you have my money?"

My eyes opened. Uggh, not him.

"I'll have your money when I have your money. You said I didn't have to pay un-" I began in protest, but the Earth pony the size of Mount Holyshit simply placed a hoof up to my mouth. Normally I would have bit him, but Lyra was still in the room behind me and she'd become a casualty of our brawl.

"Nnope. Ah lent ya those bits on account of you an' yours 'needing' it," he looked me up and down, "and Ah don't think that's the case anymore, naw is it?"

I hated slightly smug Big Mac. He was a hunk if there ever was one, but I couldn't believe that alarm bells hadn't run last night. I had taken out a loan months ago when time was tough, and he was generous with both it and having me repay it. He had pushed it back and back and just the past week he had said she didn't need to pay him back for another month. But hell, they had gone out partying, he was there, and now here she was in a pretty dress. Looked bad.

"Look Mac, I can exp-"

"Nnope."

"You aren't even going to listen?"

"Nnope."

I sighed. "How long?"

"Y'all got seven days."

"In full?"

"Eeyup."

I raised my eyebrows. "Whatcha gonna do if I don't pay?" I said.

He stared at me blankly. "Seven days, darlin'-"

"Hey! You don't get to call me that. Only Lyra can, you piece of shit!" I snapped, more angry about the situation than anything else.

"Who's that at the door, Bonnie bear?" Lyra asked, blissfully unaware.

"Nopony, darlin'. Be a dear and prepare for me, yes?" I bellowed back towards her immediately deep in my Prench before turning back to Big Mac. This had gone on long enough and for the greater good it had to end.

"Get the hell out of here, you big oaf! I'm trying to get laid here!" And with that I shut the door and locked all the locks, not that all eight of them would matter. If he so much as touched the door it would probably buckle and the force of impact would likely vaporise the room. What must it be like to be in a solid rut with him? He was a nothing but muscle. Uggh, sex. SEX.

I trotted back towards Lyra, licking my lips. "My dear, I vould think you should begin to-" I started, trailing my hoof alongside her neck. But then Lyra happened.

"Oh, I know what we should do!" She leapt into the air and started bouncing in place, her energy overwhelming and shocking all at once. I had to stop my accent...and then I applied my normal one.

"What?"

Lyra stopped in place suddenly, tilting her head in place as she thought. She had kind of forgotten what she was gonna suggest on account of being kind of hungry. She hadn't eaten since the meal Bonnie had made for them that afternoon when she woke up. Ah, that must have been it! She gave a small nod and smiled at her mare excitedly.

"We should eat dinner! I went and picked it up on the way back today like you told me to," Lyra cheerfully suggested.

"Huh?" Bon Bon started, taken aback as she was clearly expecting other things. After a pause she gave a small chuckle. "Ah yeah... Food. Guess we definitely could stand to eat before we get to anything else."

"Yay!" Lyra cheered before bouncing over to the kitchen table. The bag from the cafe was still sitting atop it. Lyra opened it up to pull out a small box containing some sandwiches.

"Ah, cool. So what did you get?" Bon Bon said as she walked to the table and sat down.

"I got the Green Leaf Deluxe," Lyra said, pulling out a sandwich stuffed full of green leaf vegetables and herbs. "And for my sweet Bonnie Bon, I went sweet and got the Berry Delight." The unicorn nodded and brought out the other sandwich, this one full of fruit and jam and dusted with powdered sugar.

"Heh... In that case, maybe I should change out of this first," Bon Bon said as she eyed the gooey contents of her sandwich. "It'd be a shame to get jam all over this dress."

"Nah, I'm sure it'll be fine if we're careful, Bonnie. Besides, I still haven’t had enough of you in that dress!" Lyra shook her head. "C'mon. Let's just eat."

"Ah, alright," Bon Bon sighed and grabbed her sandwich. Lyra did the same and soon they had both started eating.

As she ate, Lyra's mind lingered on all that had transpired. A number of things were nagging at her, but none more so than the unknown element. Lyra wasn't very smart or aware of things around her, but she had her moments of keen perception. She was able to pretend like she didn't notice things when it might trouble Bon Bon, but it's not like she had no clue as to the things going on around her. Big Macintosh had a very distinctive voice and Bon Bon had been kind of terse and angry when she talked to him. Lyra couldn't help but be a little concerned by it all.

"So..." Lyra started after taking a few bites of her sandwich. "What did Big Mac want?" she asked in a quiet voice, glancing aside. Bon Bon froze at the question. A glob of jam dropped from her sandwich as she tensed up somewhat. Lyra reached her hoof out quickly, catching the gooey dark jam before it met the delicate golden fabric of Bonnie's dress. "Woo, that was close," she said as she licked the jam off her hoof slowly. Bon Bon put her sandwich down and sighed.

"Yeah. Nice catch, Lyra," Bon Bon said with a wide grin. "Wouldn't want to get this pretty, expensive dress all messy would we?"

"Bonnie..." Lyra started, giving the other mare an intense stare. She could tell Bon Bon wanted to change the subject, but she wasn't about to allow it.

The earth mare gave a long sigh. "All right, Lyra... I'll tell you about it," she said, in a heavy voice. "Tomorrow though. Tonight, we should just try and be happy."

Lyra didn't let up her stare at first. This evasive answer wasn't what she was looking for. All the same, it did tell her something. Bon Bon didn't usually lie or try to keep secrets from her unless she was convinced she was protecting her from something. In this case, she could only assume this meant money was involved and Bon Bon wanted to spare her any more guilt over the dress. Even if she was concerned and did continue to feel pangs of guilt, she appreciated that sentiment from her Bonnie and would try her best not to dwell on it, at least for that night.

"Okay, Bonnie," the unicorn said quietly, giving a soft nod.

Bon Bon smiled weakly and went back to quietly eating her sandwich. Lyra did the same. A protracted silence set in as the two went about finishing their meal. This was interrupted suddenly with the powerful sound of thunder crashing not too far away. Bon Bon almost dropped the last few bites of her sandwich.

"No. It can't be.... There wasn't a storm scheduled for tonight, was there, Lyra?" she started with a grimace.

"I dunn–"

"Woo! Alright, guys, let's get tonight's storm started!" the unmistakable shout of Rainbow Dash could be heard on the other side of the thin apartment walls. "Then we can all hit up AJ's place for some drinks!" The voices of a bunch of rowdy weather ponies voicing their approval resounded.

"Yep! There was," Lyra said, smiling vacantly and nodding. More thunder sounded, followed by the sound of rain beginning to pour.

"FUCK!" Bon Bon shouted. Her eyes darted upwards. "The fucking roof..." as if on cue, the slow drip of the roof picked up in speed until it was a steady flow. "Shit! Those brainless winged cunts! Why now of all times?!"

"I'll get something to collect the water," Lyra said with a nod. The last thing they needed was the floor getting water damaged too. She rushed off to find a large pot to collect the rainwater.

"Good thinking, Lyra," Bon Bon said, sighing as she stood up and stepped toward the leak, continuing to glance upward at it. The water started to leak faster than before. "Ugh, I think the hole is getting bigger. Hurry, Lyra!"

"Okay," the unicorn replied as she finally found their largest pot. Grabbing hold of it with her magic, she stood and turned toward Bonnie before breaking headlong into a canter.

That was when she caught her hoof on a floorboard that stuck out ever so slightly. She tripped, the pot flying off into the far corner of the room while Lyra herself tumbled straight into Bon Bon, knocking the other mare onto the floor. Lyra grunted as she sat up. She glanced toward Bon Bon. That's when she noticed it! Bonnie had been knocked directly under the leak. Her beautiful dress had been cleanly soaked.

"Ugh... Lyra..." Bon Bon started as she started to pick herself up as well, even more of the beautiful golden fabric losing its shimmer as she moved around under the leak.

"No..." Lyra muttered feebly. "No! It's ruined.... After everything... after trying so hard... this... this is all I get..." she said as she began to cry a little. Bon Bon moved toward her on the floor.

"You idiot!" Bon Bon said, giving a small laugh as she lightly smacked the back of her fillyfriend's head. "It's fucking rainwater. It's not going to ruin anything. Wash it, dry it, the dress will be as beautiful as before."

"Oh yeah!" Lyra started, opening her eyes wide. She laughed and rubbed where Bonnie had smacked her with her hoof. "Guess I overreacted," she said, feeling dumber than usual.

"Yeah," Bon Bon said, shaking her head and standing up. "But even when it comes to messes that aren't so easily fixed, we gotta keep trying." She nodded and smiled at her mare. "With enough work, someday we'll have everything we deserve and won't have to deal with so much shit anymore."

Lyra just stared ahead as Bonnie went to retrieve the pot. Her mare's words resonated with her. It made her think. It made her want to act. Standing up suddenly, she gave a big nod. "I want to help," she said.

"Help?" Bon Bon started, looking back. "Help with what, Lyra?"

"With making our dreams come true," the unicorn said slowly.

"You're already helping, Lyra. Every bit you make counts." Bon Bon said as she walked back toward her mare with the pot, putting it finally in place.

"I could do more. I know I could," Lyra said in a low voice, determination entering her eyes. "I just need to try. Something like giving you a nice gift... it shouldn't ever have to be this hard! I want to make it so I can give you all of the beautiful things in the world, but with none of these awful feelings attached."

"Oh, Lyra..." Bon Bon spoke, looking not really sure how to react. A smile appeared on her face as she shook her head. "You silly mare..."

"I mean it, Bonnie," Lyra said resolutely. "I'm going to do it. I'm going to apply for a spot with Octavia in the Orchestra. If that doesn't work, I'll just try something else! I'll try everything if I have to until I find something that gets us what you need."

Bon Bon giggled fondly as she looked upward. "Let's just focus on one thing at a time, Lyra," she said. "For now, the most important thing is fixing the roof."

"Nope," Lyra replied, shaking her head. "There's something that needs to come before that."

"Huh?" Bon Bon started. "What's that?"

"Getting you out of that wet dress," Lyra said with a grin. Bon Bon laughed.

"Good point. Wouldn't want to catch cold or anything," she said with a shrug. "I'll take it off."

"I'll help," Lyra chimed.

"I'm not sure I need help taking off a dress, Lyra," Bon Bon started, glancing at her mare.

"Of course not, silly!" she cheerfully replied. The unicorn then gave a mischievous smirk and narrowed her eyes before trotting up to Bonnie. "But it'll be more fun that way"

"Oh..." Bon Bon spoke as Lyra gently nuzzled her cheek. Her eyes widened as she realized what her mare was implying "OH!"

"So, you want my help after all?" Lyra asked coyly before kissing all along Bon Bon's neck.

"Yeah... let's hurry up and get this off..." Bon Bon replied through a dumb grin. Lyra just giggled.