17 Tears, Tea and Jamais Vu

After speaking with Apple Berry to make sure Fluttershy was looked after, Beta headed straight for Zecora's place in the Everfree. He was becoming irritated with himself for visiting her only when he needed help or advice. Zecora was a fascinating pony and he enjoyed the intellectual and spiritual banter they shared. 'One day... One bloody day,' he swore to himself as he moved through the Everfree 'I'm going to show up with a bag of tea and just have a chat.'

Clearing his self irritation from his mind, he slowed down as he approached Zecora's home. He didn't want her to think he was actually upset. He wasn't, [at least]not with her, only[with] his own rudeness. Finally composed, Beta raised his paw to knock on the door of her home, but her rhythmic voice greeted him before his knuckle could strike.

"Hello my rhyme shy friend. How is it that I may help you again?" she asked. He could hear her smiling with the gentle teasing tone. His own smile followed as he entered the door.

"I know I only come by for help. That is the act of a whelp." Beta began. His verse was slowly improving. "But I need some tea... to make someone forget... me" he finished slowly and sadly. There was no amount of levity that could keep his smile once he accepted and stated the reason for his visit.

Zecora gasped, her eyes wide as she looked at Beta. She knew he was serious. This newcomer to their lands would never joke about something this serious. Yes, she had what he needed, but she wanted.. needed to hear why.

"Fluttershy" Beta said in response to the expression on Zecora's maw. And she nodded.

"Yes, I heard of the battle. Was it for her so traumatic?" Zecora asked, not wanting to take more than a moment to make a half verse. This was also too serious to make light of, and for the next hour, Beta and Zecora discussed at great length what had happened. How it was affecting Fluttershy in the worst way... and how Beta planned to resolve it.

"I... I feel responsible... I mean if I hadn't..." Beta began but Zecora stopped him with a gentle hoof on his shoulder.

"No, my friend. What you did, even this result, is better in the end." she consoled. "But what is worse? A rape or an act of god? She may one day accept she wasn't responsible for Luna's actions. She would never get over that kind of gang rape."

Beta was taken aback at the straight forwardness of Zecora's words. She wasn't trying to be cryptic. She was dead serious right now.

"She feels bad for cycling rapists. But seeing the chil... foal of that rapist everyday for the rest of her life [seeing him]in that foal. Which one is worse?" Beta asked. Noticing a look, the meaning of which he was unsure of, Beta tried to ask "Zecora..."

"My past is mine" she said shortly "I have not ever been... nor may I be other than this forest... ever Everfree." she said with a finality Beta could respect. He knew if she wanted to tell him, she would in her own time. Friends waited.

Unable to resist a little teasing Beta remarked "Not even a roll in the hay with a fine fellow one day?"

Zecora then looked at him very coyly and said in an unexpectedly sultry voice "Who is to say, perhaps one day, a sweet roll in the hay" she then winked and swished her tail, turning her back to Beta to get something from a shelf, allowing Beta time to recover after blushing extremely red. Looking away, Zecora smiled very broadly and blushed lightly herself. 'I may not be a young filly, but one never forgets how to flirt with a cute colt' she thought quietly to herself.

Grabbing a small bottle wrapped in parchment, Zecora turned back to Beta, who had composed himself nice, she thought, and placed the container before him on the table.

"What you seek is the draft of forgetful sleep" she said in a very grave voice. She did not agree with this... yet she could not think of a different way to go. Fluttershy would be ultimately destroyed by these memories of what she did. She lacked maturity to deal with it. "To forget, she only had to remember" she said quietly and sadly.

Nodding, Beta asked "Will it make her forget ... everything she thinks about?"

"More or less... yes. But to forget you... that is more than this draft can do." she added. 'You are so remarkable, so different... How could anyone forget you?' she wondered

"I can help it along. I have something called nannites... a kind of bug inside me that does.. things. I can spare a few to help and enhance the process along. They will... enhance the draft..." Beta choked a little, tears threatening to fill his eyes. The magnitude of what he was going to do hit him. "I... I like Fluttershy...I..." he faltered and reached for a stool to sit on. It was... it was too unfair and he had to sit for a few minutes and cry.

Walking to Beta, Zecora nosed his long ears, trying to comfort him and asked in a deep whisper "Why not just erase the day? Why must you go all the way?" 'You poor pony... why must you erase yourself as well?' she wondered to herself, not knowing any other word to use for him. The word 'man' was unknown here, after all.

"Cascading memories" Beta said, his face still in his paws, fighting the tears. "I'm... I'm directly linked to those memories ... with that event... I have to go. She..." He gulped and cried the next few words "I have to go or I could all[all/everything could] come back, even if she just says hello to me" and he broke down completely. He sat there crying for the next 10 minutes, raking, shuddering weeps.

He hated this. He hated everything about this, but there was no other way. He hated that he had to trick Fluttershy into fighting. He hated that she had been taken over by Luna's spirit - putting aside he would be quite DEAD if he hadn't -. He hated that he had to loose a dear friend. But if he didn't... the beautiful pony he had known would be gone forever. Beta understood very well how war, combat... murder... changed someone forever.

Tying to take his mind off his loss, Zecora asked 'What are these... nanni-ites?" Beta had to laugh hard. It wasn't her fault, but the mistake distracted him enough. Zecora smiled. She understood the word well enough but he needed a distraction. His laugh filled her with hope that he would be able to recover from this. Fluttershy was clearly not the only one traumatized by the events of the other day.

"Nannites... they are from my world. They are very very tiny um... special bugs my body uses to heal itself. They can also be used to make the draft, um... stronger. I can have them change, enhance how it works in Fluttershy's body and mind. "S.. she was the first pony I saw when I arrived." he explained to Zecora "She got Rainbow Dash... if it wasn't for her..." and he weeped.

"Of these things I do not know" Zecora said after a minute, when his weeping had subsided. "Bugs that make the memory go? To you, I shall defer, as long as it helps her" she said finally.

"It will work. She won't remember anything as long as I stay away from her for a few days. When she wakes up, she'll see me only with eyes of Jamais Vu" he said with melancholy.

"Jaw may who?" she asked, blinking her large, beautiful eyes.

"Jamais Vu... it's french." he began "It means she'll see me and have no memory, even though she should after having seen me so much the last couple weeks." he said flatly.

'He's preparing himself, steeling his determination.' Zecora thought 'The poor, poor pony. I don't envy him his task.'

"Fluttershy will forget me... as will Rainbow Dash." he added. This suprised Zecora, and her ears shot straight up in shock.

"What? Why Rainbow Dash? She is a strong mare!" Zecora said in shock, breaking from her usual rhyming prose. "Sure, it was horrible, but Rainbow Dash is certainly strong enough in her character she was [will be able to] work through this!" Zecora protested

"Yes, about Fluttershy we agree, but Rainbow Dash! There is absolutely no need!" she finished, raising her voice and stomping with a hoof. "I know there is little that I can do. But for Rainbow Dash, I forbid you!" regaining her calm she asked "Rainbow Dash is a strong mare, it may not take. What will you do then... Tell a lie about cake?" she smiled wryly at him and Beta understood and nodded before leaving quietly. He had disturbed Zecora enough today and felt bad for it. Watching him leave, Zecora sighed heavily at his burden. 'A good pony with a bad choice.' she shivered and realized that no... there was no choice, as she looked away and thought about how her mother looked at her every day. That night, Zecora[had] cried herself to sleep, cursing every last predator in the world.

Beta poured the warm tea into a cup and saucer for Fluttershy. He stood there in the kitchen and lowered his head to just above the teacup and cried a few tears and sent a dozen nannites to his tear ducts. They fell into the warm, but not hot tea and waited for ingestion. They would enter her blood stream with the narcotics in the tea and go up to Fluttershy's memory centers. Beta would put his head against hers and direct them. They would monitor her thoughts and when they saw memories being erased by the draft, they would enhance the effect... they would erase Beta from her mind as well as the memories of the battle.

Her time with Beta would cease to exist. His place would be filled by some other pony, any other pony. "Jamais Vu..." Beta whispered and fought to hold back more tears. He would need to drink a gallon of water by the end of the day at this rate. Bracing himself, he lifted the cup and walked into the next room, where Fluttershy was waiting surrounded by Apple Berry and Rainbow Dash. Apple Berry was there to take Beta's place. He would leave as soon as it was done.

Apple Berry looked up with those beautiful two toned eyes, full of concern for his mental and emotional state. Her candy-stripped mane was out of its usual sorts. She hadn't bothered brushing it today. Her tail was swishing nervously.

Rainbow Dash hardly fared better. Her only consolation for appearance was that since she always flew so fast, no one could ever tell if her hair was brushed or not. 'What pointless thoughts I'm having' he realized 'I'm trying to keep my mind off what I'm about to do... Damn it all to hell!'

Approaching Fluttershy, he could tell she'd barely slept. He saw the way it was beginning to tear down her sanity, the lack of sound sleep... and that was all he needed to stay strong. 'This WAS the right decision.' he thought, his willpower improving with every tortuous moment he looked at Fluttershy's emaciated, emotional state. 'She WILL be better!' and with that, he helped Fluttershy drink the tea, holding the cup at her lips, not wanting to risk her dropping it from nerves.

Speaking soothing and affectionately, Beta began the process "Think of the day with the predators. Remember every last detail..." he began and Fluttershy began to whimper "Shh, shh, shhhhh, I promise..., I swear to Celestia, you will never have these thoughts ever again" he ran a soothing paw through her mane and rubbed behind her ears. This calmed her down

"Ok... I'm ready" she said in one of the faintest voices he had heard to date. So low that even his amazing rabbit ears had trouble picking it up.

"Brave girl" he whispered encouragingly. Beta leaned forward and put his forehead directly against hers. His eyes closed, he concentrated on what had to be done. He commanded the Nannites to erase her memories. He then whispered as he felt her relax while the memories of the battle disappeared... "Think of me. From the first moment we met to this every instant..."

'And forget' he thought. It was too much. He knew, K N E W this was the right course of action... but he was about to loose another friend. Unlike the rest, this one would be alive. She might even befriend him again. But he couldn't stop the tears.. they ran down his eyes and into hers. When he was sure the nannites were done, he ran off, and Apple Berry was there in his place, her forehead on Fluttershy's. The expression on her face one of her usual quiet happiness. She was Fluttershy again... before she ever met Beta. It would be as if the last month never happened.

"Goodbye Fluttershy"