A Minion for the Night

"SUCH PRETTY YET MASCULINE FLOWERS!"

"Stop it! Don't touch me theeeaaaa..." Luna squealed as Krieg's fingers went through the feathers of her wings.

"It seems he likes you," Celestia chuckled as she watched the display.

"He is touching me in most inappropriate places!" Luna shuddered as Krieg petted her. "You try it and see how you like it!"

"Isn't it astounding how calm he is when he is around Luna?" Twilight asked with wonder. "Maybe he really is her minion!"

Luna's expression fell. "Please don't say it like it is already decided."

"DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME, KIDS!!"

Dude, that is just inappropriate!

"MORE EXCLAMATION MARKS!"

"Don't touch that!" Luna batted his hand away.

"THESE STAINS WON'T CLEAN THEMSELVES!" Krieg embraced her in a crushing bear hug.

"Oh... that's so sweet," Twilight smiled as he watched his wanton display of affection.

Huh, she's pretty soft...

"He is crushing me!" Luna gasped for breath.

"Twilight?" Spike's voice could be heard as he carefully opened the door. "Can I come in now and-" he was interrupted by a loud thunk as he poked his head inside.

There was a moment of silence, the alicorns staring at the door in disbelief and horror. Spike's gaze traveled upwards. ...And onto the buzz axe embedded in the wood only inches from where his head was. "Huh?"

Ah, crap.

"FOOD!"

Spike's face became as pale as snow as he realized what Krieg intended.

And here we go again...

Discord hovered through the halls with a happy hum on his lips, occasionally taking a bite from a huge cone of cotton candy. His day in Ponyville had been fun, even if mostly uneventful. These days he simply enjoyed spending time with Fluttershy. But still, what fun would it be if he didn't give Celestia a visit every now and then... and pluck at her strings. He chuckled... just a bit to get her annoyed.

His planning was interrupted by a shout from one of the countless rooms. Luna's room, to be specific.

"Stop him!"

"FEED ME!" Discord raised an eyebrow.

"Get him off of me!"

"THERE ARE NO BRAKES ON THIS TRAIN!" something was thrown over; a loud crash echoing through the corridors.

"Minion! I command you to-"

"FLY ME AWAY TO PEANUT BUTTER CASTLE!"

"He's picking up his axe! Twilight! HELP ME!"

"Don't you dare touch-"

"I HAVE MY HANDS FULL OF MEAT AND A MIND FILLED WITH BACON!"

The shouting and crashing inside the room continued. Discord scratched his head in amusement, it almost sounded like his last visit. Then, just as sudden as the commotion had started, it ended and everything went quiet.

Grinning to himself, Discord nudged the door open. "Ready or not, here I-" he stopped at the sight before him.

There was Celestia, with a heavily stressed expression and holding something that looked like an axe in her magic grasp. Next to her was Luna, heavily panting and seemingly even more stressed than her sister. He also spotted Twilight attending to Spike who was currently gasping for breath. And between them all, bound up in rope sat something that looked very much out of place.

"Alright," Luna panted. "Direct magic doesn't work on him very well, but at least it does on his weapon."

"Let us hope the rope is capable of holding him," Celestia replied with a frown.

"My, my... what have we here?" Discord chuckled as he entered the room. "Are you playing a game without me?"

"PERACUTE PERJURIES ARE PERVIOUS TO PRIME TIME PONYFICATION!" Krieg wiggled his head happily, bouncing up and down in his bound condition.

Much to the surprise of everyone present, Discord didn't even beat an eyelash at the strange sentence. Instead, a little hat appeared in one of his hands, which he tipped in Krieg's direction. "And a fine evening to you too, dear sir."

"THIS JAR OF EYES IS OUT OF DATE!"

"Why yes, we are having fine weather today. Have you been here for long?"

What the...

"ON THE SECOND DAY THE WORLD BLED YELLOW SUFFERING!"

"Indeed, it does, doesn't it?"

Is this guy for real?

On the side, the alicorns and the little dragon watched with dumbfounded expressions, as one lunatic conversed with another. Only after another moment had passed did Luna finally manage to speak. "Why am I not surprised?"

"You can understand what he is saying?" Celestia asked.

No he can't. He's just another lunatic.

"Of course I can," Discord replied. "And he is such a charming fellow too."

"I WILL EAT YOUR BABIES!"

"How can you understand him?" Twilight asked with a disgusted look towards Krieg.

"Call it a... likeness of minds," Discord chuckled. "So. ...Why is someone so amusing here without me knowing? Where did you find him?"

"I HAIL SOUTH FROM THE BORDER OF BURNING SOULS!"

"We tried to summon a suitable minion for Luna," Celestia replied.

Summon? Lady, Krieg just likes punching buttons...

"And just look how that went," Luna grimaced.

"I don't see how you are so disappointed," Discord laughed. "After all, he does fit you perfectly."

"He does not!" Luna snapped back.

"I WANT TO RIDE THE PRETTY PONY!"

"You are not riding on me again!" Luna shouted at Krieg, but immediately cringed when she realized what she had just said out loud. ...Even more so when she saw Discord's huge grin.

"See? You're already warming up to one another. It's simply so heart warming!"

"How does this lunatic fit me?" Luna snarled at Discord in spite of the blush spreading on her cheeks. "There is clearly something wrong with his mind!"

Darling, you don't even know half of it.

"You don't understand?" Discord's smile became sinister. "His state of mind is much closer to yours than you may think. For you see; while you hold a monster within a sane mind, this monster holds a sane mind within itself..." he chuckled. "Take or give two or three..."

Is he... is he talking about me?

"You mean," Twilight gasped. "You mean he is like Nightmare Moon?"

Everyone in the room became silent as they realized what Discord had just told them. They all turned to Krieg, who was still bouncing up and down on the floor.

"He has a split personality," Celestia whispered in shock.

There was a loud snap.

And there goes the rope...

"IT IS TIME FOR A FEAST!"

Spike was already dashing for the door with look of pure panic on his face.