Chapters Author's note concerning rewrite
Dear readers,
I am aware that this isn't one of my best works. When first written I had a very clear idea of what I wanted to write about, but not how I was going to go about it, and structure it and so on. This shows very clearly as a lot of the paragraphs are all over the place and I believe I could write it better now that several months have passed since I wrote the first chapter. Also, a lot of my headcanon has been reworked, particularly concerning the Wonderbolts in this universe, and I will be adding extra snippets.
And I intend to do so.
Tomorrow (11th September 2013) I find out whether or not I'll be starring in my school's production of Little Shop of Horrors. As pointless as this may seem in regards to the status of Starlight, the musical may take up some of my time which will determine how fast I can go about this, as well as the fact I have a fic for a contest that I'm writing that I need to complete by the 23rd.
A lot of my time is taken up with schoolwork, so do bear with me and I'll see if I can start re-writing this in November.
As for spoilers, well ...
Some get happy endings. But everyone cries and everyone dies.
Thanks for reading and have a nice day,
8-Bit.
Without You To Hold I'll Be Freezing
Diane Pritchard woke suddenly in the early hours of Wednesday morning with a thumping in her head and the wild, insane notion that someone was coming to hurt her.
This didn't happen every night.
She quickly got up from her bed and started to pace round her room, not caring about the other inhabitants of the apartment above the bakery she was the live-in apprentice of. Mr and Mrs Challinor were so kind, taking her in on a last-minute basis after she left her family, and their twin son and daughter Peter and Pumpkin were absolute angels.
Diane managed a faint smile while thinking about the twins, but it wasn't enough to bring her out of her desolate mood. She took a quick glance in the mirror and almost cried out at the sight of her hair.
It was the colour of dark pink cotton candy, and usually had the texture and springiness of it too, thanks to her curling irons, but naturally sometimes it would flatten a bit, but she usually curled it religiously.
Tonight though, it had flattened down all the way and lay hanging straight down the sides of her face dejectedly, like a man hanging from the gallows. Her pale skin glowed unnaturally in the moonlight that streamed in through the large window, making Diane look like an alien. Her hair was almost black in the darkness and her ice blue eyes stared at her reflection in shock.
This wasn't supposed to happen.
She'd definitely had curly hair before going to bed, and it didn't flatten at all during sleep usually. She kept her hair from going this straight for a reason- it brought back bad memories.
When she was little she'd lived on a rock farm with her parents, and she and her sisters helped the labourers shovel through the rocks searching for crystals her parents would later sell at the market. It was a pitifully depressing childhood. Her parents never smiled and never told Diane, Izzie or Becky that they loved them, never gave them any treats other than possibly a cake after their dinner.
She was never abused or starved, she was just overworked, never got enough sleep and most of all she always felt that no one cared for her and no one ever would, and that it was her fault for being unlovable.
Some nights she'd cry herself to sleep, believing she'd be stuck on the rock farm forever, never smiling and never falling in love.
Then, while staying behind after her sisters and the workmen had all gone, she saw a rainbow, and for the first time in her life smiled- she smiled so widely she thought her face would crack with the effort.
She gathered all the money she'd earned over the years from working on the rock farm and left, buying a curling iron and pink hair dye, so she'd never have to see her blonde hair again, caked with grime permanently from chipping away at the rocks.
Later, she got a tattoo of three balloons on her ankle, reminding herself of her promise that she'd never let anyone be as unhappy as she and her sisters were.
She didn't know so then because of only being home-schooled by her father who obviously didn't want his daughters to learn much, but she was later told by her doctor when asked about her past that she'd suffered from chronic depression and signs of it may still linger.
She'd brushed off his protests that she see him again for therapy about her past and continued with her life, deciding to become a baker and got an apprenticeship at Sugarcube Corner.
She met her friends, enrolled in high school and everything was perfect.
She met Reyna, things got even better.
But then her worst yet best birthday ever happened and she had left her hair uncurled, believing her friends had abandoned her because they didn't love her and that it was her fault for being a bad person.
She'd contemplated ending her life, started talking to herself and weird inanimate objects like bags of flour, took pills that made her twitch and see funny things, and the comedown made her feel something- but it was a terrible feeling so she took more pills to never feel again.
Finally, Reyna pulled her out of it, made her see sense, took away her pills and her friends did love her after all, and she dropped the pills and started curling her hair again.
'Take that doctors," she'd whisper to herself for weeks after the event. She didn't need any help. As long as her friends loved her she could be fine.
She thought of them now as she stared at the mirror, reliving all these painful memories.
They were all moving onwards now in their lives. High school was nearly over for all of them.
Rebecca would be moving on to fully devote her time to her boutique- not that she didn't already, Diane thought to herself- and work on making a name for herself in the fashion business, Chylenne was going to study Zoology and Biology at college nearby to work on her dream of becoming a vet and still be near all the animals she cared for, Jack was going to fully take on her half on running the farm from her big brother Mac and Twila was going back to Princess Celeste's palace to study under her more extensively than she used to.
Everyone had a purpose, had a goal, and where was Diane? Snivelling in a box-sized room in an apartment over a bakery, not even sure she wanted to be a baker.
She knew once Jack and Rebecca got into their work she'd hardly see them, and Twila and Chylenne could only visit sometimes.
That just left her and Reyna. This thought made her heart swell.
Reyna would be training all summer, fall, winter and spring, doing whatever it took to make it eligible for her to join the Wonderbolts. After seeing her perform at the Young Athletes Competition a few years ago Diane knew she was ready to join, and once the age restriction had cleared she'd joined the Wonderbolt Academy, but resigned after a bit.
Now she was putting everything she could into training and Diane felt so proud for her. Even Reyna had a goal.
The rainbow-haired athlete was oblivious to the fact Diane adored her- which was probably why she was dating Twila then, Diane thought while holding in her sobs. Twila and Reyna were great together and they were happy, but Diane wanted Reyna to so desperately be hers that she couldn't help but snap at them sometimes.
Diane moved around her room and made her way over to her desk, where she had a picture of her and all her friends, taken shortly after Reyna and Twila revealed their relationship to the group. It was taken under the great oak tree next to the library Twila lived above.
Rebecca, Chylenne and Jack all sat next to each other smiling, while Twila and Reyna sat a bit away, arms round each other, huge smiles on their faces. Diane sits further back than the rest in the shadows, smiling slightly at Reyna and Twila, but there's a distant expression on her face. Diane remembers that day well. She looks closer at the photo and a small tear falls down her face as she realises her hair had started deflating that day a bit. She'd rushed home to curl it again, scared of the flashbacks Twila and Reyna getting together had caused.
She kept her hopes up though. Even if no one would ever love her, she could still love Reyna and make her feel a little less unwanted.
"But she'll never love you back will she, you're all alone once again, unloved as usual." she snarled to herself, tears dripping down her face. Checking her clock, she saw it was just gone four a.m. and sighed. She reached out and grabbed her phone, turning off the alarm that was set to go off at 6: 45 a.m. every weekday so she could complete her baker's duties before going to school.
She didn't feel like going to school today.
She crawled back into bed, even though she knew she wouldn't get any sleep.
She ran a hand through her straight hair miserably. Looks like she'd have to get used to it.
Reyna trained. And trained. And trained.
Always running, chasing after her dream, punching away every doubt and ripping away at the punching bags, practising every trick in the book, hoping to achieve her goal.
She unwrapped the bandages from her hand and wiped her forehead.
The time was quarter to seven. She had made a habit of coming down to the gym and training before school every day, so that she'd be ready for a summer of working out- so that she could finally be worthy to be a Wonderbolt once she'd left high school.
She packed up her bag and exited the gym, going to the showers. She stripped and turned the water up hot, letting it wash away the sweat and worry.
She planned to spend the day with her girlfriend Twila. Twila was moving to study under the princess again in Camelot, the nearest big city and where the royal family resided.
Reyna was proud of her and genuinely upset that she was going, but to be honest she was glad. She needed more time to train and with Twila gone she could devote more time to working out. Also, her and Twila's relationship had been rockier lately. Maybe a long-distance relationship would strengthen their bond.
Reyna rushed out of her Geography class and headed towards the canteen where she knew her friends would gather to eat lunch. It was weird to think how they would soon never eat here again after years of meeting.
Upon arriving she noticed only Rebecca was there. She sat down across from the purple-haired designer. Rebecca gave her a nod while picking at her salad.
"Hi, Reyna. How are you?" asked Rebecca, closing her notebook where she kept her design ideas.
"Good. Have you seen Diane today? I've seen Chylenne and I know she goes home to feed her animals, and AJ, you and me are all here. I've seen everyone but her." Reyna said, tucking in to her cold pizza- left-overs from last night. She often ate left-overs.
"You haven't seen Twila." Rebecca said cattily. "She's had free periods all morning and is studying in the library."
Reyna mentally face-palmed. Twila was her girlfriend; she should be thinking about her first and not Diane. Funny how Diane's whereabouts were more important that Twila's to her.
"Do you think she's sick?" Reyna asked, changing the subject quickly.
Rebecca shrugged, spearing a stray piece of lettuce with her fork. "I have no idea. I didn't have a chance to call her before school like I usually do because I had a call from an important European client and-"
Reyna held up a hand to shush her.
"Alright, alright, calm down." she chuckled, "It's cool. I'll check up on her after school." she insisted.
"But Dash," Rebecca calling her Dash was a bad sign- it meant she was going to be annoyingly stubborn, "what about your training? You can't interrupt your schedule!"
Reyna bit her lip. Rebecca did have a point. But she always put her friends first- her short stint at the Wonderbolt Academy had proved that.
"But-" she began.
"No buts." Rebecca snapped playfully.
"I don't have to work until four. I'll check up on her."
Reyna could have sworn Rebecca's blue eyes darkened as soon as she protested, but she brushed it off as a trick of light.
"Don't be a bitch." she mock-glared at her friend. Rebecca held her gaze for a few minutes, not changing her expression.
Reyna stuck her tongue out and went cross-eyed. Rebecca smiled and soon they were both laughing hard.
"Anyway," said Rebecca after they'd recovered, "Twila wants to talk to you after school, alone. She says it's important."
"That's never a good start." joked Reyna, but her heart melted a little inside, while her smile brightened as Chylenne and Jack came over.
She met Twila by the school track. She was clutching an old dusty book to her chest.
"Hey," said Reyna, greeting her with a lingering kiss. Despite her conflicted feelings on their relationship it felt good to kiss her again.
"Hello Reyna! Did Rebecca tell you I needed to talk to you?" Twila asked
The rainbow-haired athlete nodded, biting her lip.
"Well, as you know I am going back to Camelot this August to further my education with Princess Celeste and I will also be receiving lessons from Princess Luna. Now I know we've only been dating for a few months and-"
"Are you going to give me 'the talk'?" Reyna cut her off. Twila blinked.
"Excuse me?" she asked.
"You know: 'I love you but we just can't be together, we won't work out, blahblah blah."
Twila adjusted her glasses. "Well I was trying to aim for a different angle but I suppose, yes, that is the general theme."
Reyna rolled her eyes and turned to leave. She didn't need this crap. What she needed was a punching bag, her iPod and the feeling of sweat trickling down her forehead as she let out her frustration.
"Dash!" called Twila. Reyna stopped in her tracks.
"Listen," the bookworm said breathlessly, "I know it's a cliché but what with my studies and your training a long-distance relationship just won't work."
Reyna nodded. "It's cool. I understand. But hey, let's keep it between us until you officially leave, 'kay? I don't wanna make a scene." she said.
Twila nodded back. "Understandable. Now, Reyna, if you may excuse me I'm tutoring Chylenne in Spanish and I have to go."
Reyna watched her go emptily. Herr heart should be breaking, her eyes burning with tears of passion and other related exaggerations.
Yet all she felt was if a great gust of wind had blown over her.
Peace.
Watch It Fizzle At The Bottom Of A Coke Can
Rebecca crossed the street cautiously and made her way towards Sugarcube Corner, making sure she didn't trip in any of the cracks in the pavement, or step in anything ... Unmentionable.
It wasn't a long walk from the school to the bakery but it gave the purple-haired designer a lot of time to think about Diane, and whether she was really ill, or if it was something else.
Only Reyna had ever seen Diane at her worst, a few years ago, and she never spoke to anyone about what had happened between her and Diane.
If Diane had sunk into a state of madness again, Rebecca had no idea what had caused it, and whether or not anyone could pull her out of it again.
She reached Sugarcube Corner and, instead of entering by the shop entrance, she turned and went around to the back, climbing a set of stairs that lead to the door to the apartment above.
She knocked twice.
“Diane? Diane, dear, it’s Rebecca.”
After getting no response for several minutes, she checked no one was looking then sneaked the spare key out from underneath the flowerpot beside her. She unlocked the door then stepped inside the apartment.
Immediately she was greeted with the sound of heavy rock music, and that’s when she knew something was up. She didn't even know Diane owned this type of music. Diane listened to pop music and weird remixes and Japanese songs, not … This.
She headed to Diane’s room and knocked once, then opened the door slightly, giving her just enough room to stick her head in and survey the surroundings.
…
Oh dear.
This was bad.
Diane was lying on her bed, her normally curly hair flat and dull, as if shadows were permanently hanging over it. Her entire body seemed like it had dulled. Her ice blue eyes were empty and detached from the outside world. She was sipping from a Coke can- Rebecca was sure you weren't supposed to drink soda when you were ill- and the curtains were closed; the only source of light now came from Diane’s pink lava lamp, which cast eerie shadows around the room.
“Hello Rebecca.” Diane said. Even her voice had changed. Normally hyper, her voice now held no emotion. It was as if she couldn't see you at all.
“Um, hello Diane. I just came to check on you, to see if you were okay. We all missed you at school today.” Rebecca said, sitting on one of the pink beanbags dotted around the small room. It wasn't very ladylike, but for Diane she was willing to sacrifice some things.
“I’m fine. Thank you for bothering, though. Would you like a Coke?” Diane gestured half-heartedly to her mini fridge next to her bed.
Rebecca grabbed a Coke, but just held it in her hands, staring at the bright can dulled by the shadows around them. This whole experience has just been bizarre.
“Thank you. So … Are you okay? Why exactly are you off sick anyway?” Rebecca asked, trying to drag out the conversation.
“I’m fine.” Diane repeated. “And it’s nothing. It’s just a headache. I’ll be back in school in … In a few days.” Diane reassured, even managing a small smile, though it was pained and quite obviously fake.
“Good. I know Reyna wanted to talk to you very badly, so should I tell her to come over next time she’s free? To cheer you up?”
Suddenly, the atmosphere in the room turned icy at the mention of Reyna. “Reyna wants to talk to me? That’s a first. What, doesn't she want to talk to Twila anymore? I thought they were close. No one wants to talk to poor weird Diane. Especially not Reyna. No one! And I don’t want to talk to any of you!”
Diane’s outburst finished and she glared at Rebecca, her eyes cold and hard, and it was all the purple-haired girl could do to stop her jaw from dropping. This was … Unusual, to say the least. And heart-breaking.
Suddenly, Diane’s expression changed. She wasn't glaring anymore. She looked lost, and scared. Scared of herself.
“I-I think you should leave now, Rebecca.” Diane whispered. When Rebecca stayed there, still staring, Diane turned bitter again. “Leave!!” she snarled.
Rebecca got up hurriedly, stumbling on her way to the door. she closed it with a strangled gasp.
Whatever Diane was sick with, it was definitely not a headache.
She noticed she was still holding the Coke can, and figured a drink may calm her down.
When she lifted the can up to her mouth, the liquid that touched her tongue made her squirm.
The Coke was flat.
She could hear the sound of sobbing from Diane’s room as she left.
Reyna was training.
Her heart banged against her chest in time with her bandaged hands hitting the punching bag.
Smack! For Twila.
Smack! For stupid love.
Smack! For Rebecca.
Smack! For Diane.
She didn't know why she was feeling so angry with everyone all of a sudden.
It could be put down to hormones, hut Reyna knew that wasn't it.
She didn't even want to acknowledge what happened after school on the football field.
It had to be something else.
All of her friends were achieving amazing things. Chylenne was going to college, Jack was running a farm, Rebecca had her boutique, Twila had her studies, and Diane had her apprenticeship … And what did Reyna have? A washed-up dream and a talent she had only acquired because she forced it on herself.
She had nothing .
She was interrupted from her discouraging train of thought by a sharp whistling noise that could only be her phone. This happened twice before she finally stopped beating the punching bag and jogged over to her bag on the other side of the room.
She unlocked her phone and saw she had two text messages.
The first one, from Rebecca, read ‘Go talk to Diane.’
Nothing else. No smiley face, no explanation, just those four words.
Reyna dismissed it. Diane was just sick, she’d be fine in a couple of days.
The second one was from Twila. Reyna groaned inside but read it anyway. Maybe Twila wanted to get back together?
Her hope was kindled when she read the words ‘Reyna, can we talk?’
Maybe Twila did want to get back together! Everything could go back to normal- well, sort-of normal- and Reyna would have the girlfriend she loved back in her arms again.
She made her way back to the punching bag happily.
A voice in the back of her head begged to be allowed to speak, but Reyna pushed it back. She was happy with Twila. She loves her. She wanted to get back together with her.
Do you really want that?
“SHUT UP!!!” she screamed, punching the bag so hard it broke, flying onto the floor.
She did want Twila.
She had to.