Going Postal

It happened on Hearts and Hooves day eve. Big Mac was in orchard, preparing for cider season with his sister, Applejack.

A bird soared and turned in the cloudless sky, beneath it was the straw houses of Ponyville; crowds of ponies, smiling and happy.

In the distance, Big Mac could see little fillies running around, dragging chalk around and laughing like kids should, as he tilts his head slightly to the right; he sees almost the same except its mares running around, dragging their colts around and grinning like maniacs with shopping bags galore.

He let out a quiet laugh, smirking as he continued his work; places basket down by tree, kick said tree, wait for apples to fall, when apples fall in basket, move baskets to any tree; rinse and repeat. He grumbled when he kicked the tree and nothing happened, he bucked it again, still nothing.

“Work, damn it!” He muttered under his breath as he kicked again.

Come on you idiot! Quick, knock them down before-

“What’s the matter? Ain’t as strong as yah sister?"

Damn it, speak of the devil and it shall appear.

Applejack’s voice came from behind Big Mac, though he didn’t turn around; he knew she was smirking but he plastered on his best fake smile and turned around;

“No matter, just a stubborn tree, that’s all” he spoke with his usual kindness; he turned back and bucked again; still nothing

.

“Come on, you a city slicker? Just kick the tree!” She pushed her brother aside and kicked the tree with enough force that the wood around the impact cracked and shattered but; still nothing

“How was that, city slicker?” Big Mac smirked as Applejack stuck out her bottom lip and mumbled.

“It’s...it’s impossible!” She finally spoke with a star struck sense of confusion, her eyes as wise as eight balls.

“Hold on...” he went off to the barn, opening the door and a few bangs came from the barn.

Inside the barn, Big Mac was shifting around for some components.

“Where are you?” He muttered to himself, bashing away some old furniture, eyeballing around; he kicked away a stool, making it crash against a wall and break, shattering it and spreading the pieces; one of the legs flew towards Big Mac’s head but before it could break his nose, he punched it; sending it flying back to the wall where it busted.

“Where are you?” He mumbled again, lashing away a rusty paint bucket; it ricocheted off a stepladder, it span on the floor and after a few seconds, fell on it’s side.

“Come on, where are you?” he murmured, shoved a broke piece of wood out of his path; it creaked as it fell.

“There you are!” He grinned; showing his teeth made him look like a mad man.

Back outside, Applejack scuffled around on her hooves; mumbling.

“What in the hay are you doin’!?” She finally shouted at the barn after a few more crashes, after a while a voice replied;

“You might wanna move away from that tree” knowing that this is probably not going to end well, Applejack took more than a few steps back and used a tree as a shield.

“I hope he knows what he’s doing” she mumbled as the barn door crashed open, as she peeked around, she wished she hadn’t; there was Big Mac, wielding a large wooden plank over his shoulder with a paint bucket fastened at the end.

“Don’t move!” He shouted, it was muffled through the wood but Applejack could make out what he was saying.

“Okay!” She shouted back, hiding behind the tree.

“YEEEHAAAY!” He charged at the tree, gaining speed with each step; the bucket shaked and juddered with each step too, the wood bit into his shoulder; his teeth gritted as it bit in deeper, the tree got closer and closer; then impact; CRASH!

“Damn” Big Mac’s voice shuddered at almost every letter.

“You okay, big bro?” She looked around from the tree and saw her brother sitting in the dirt, his head shaking.

“I’m fine” he spoke with his common gentleness, still with his head juddering and shaking.

“Anything happen to that tree?” She asked; her eye still on her brother’s bobbling head.

“Can you check? My head is still a bit shaky” he’s voice juddered with each bobble; she looked around at the tree, it had splintered; looked like a crater in the moon’s surface, be still no apples; they hung fine and dandy on the branches.

“Nothing” She said, hoping that Big Mac wouldn’t go mad.

“Damn it” his voice went to the side of anger, his head had stopped shaking. He walked over to the tree and punched it; cracking its surface.

“We can just leave the tree, you know?” She pondered, hopeful that it would stop Mac from going insane.

“Fine, fine” he mumbled, getting up and walking over to the bucket.

“You okay, big brother?” She spoke softly, tapping Big Mac on his shoulder.

“Fine, I am fine” he burbled, putting the basket on his back; walking off.

The basket bumped and slid around on Big Mac’s back as he walked over to another tree; his face showed “defeat”; his sister tried to shake it from her head, and turned back to another tree, as she looked away, he started to punch the tree, he wasn’t trying to make the apples fall, he was just punching it.

Stupid tree! Making me look bad! He punched the tree, splitting it’s surface, an apple fell into the bucket.

Damn you tree! He thumped it again, making the split bigger, two apples fell into the bucket.

Curse you to hell! Big Mac hit the tree a third time, making the crack bend around the side, five apples dropped into the bucket.

You nuisance, you pest; screw you tree! He smacked the tree for the last time; this time, all the apples and even a few leaves fell out.

Damn, I should calm down he walked to the bucket, counting nineteen apples and pushed it up onto his back.

He walked to another tree, lay down the bucket and a soon as he was about to buck it, a shout thundered;

“LOOK OUT!” but it was too late, as soon as Big Mac looked up; the last thing he saw was the face of a multicolored daredevil, the second thing he saw was darkness.

Damn, my head; wait, darkness...perfect

It is, isn't it?

Who are you?

Oh, sorry about this, well I am new... you

No, I’m stayin’ here

Oh, you are not, please get your ass out of this body.

No! I am stayin’!

You are not!

Yes, I am!

Leave before I go medieval on your ass!

Who says I won’t do the same!

Go or... hell, I’ll give you a fair fight.

Fair?

Yes, fair...like I pretend I’m defeated, you turn around and a stab you in the back.

That doesn’t sound very fair.

Well, no. It may not but you cannot fight yourself.

You are not me!

You will die; there is no doubt about it.

I will not die, I will live; you’ll die!

Yippie-ki-yay!

Wake up!

No!

Wake up, goddamn it!

Like I said 'no'!

Wake up, or I'll start singing!

So?

Fine!

You spin me right round, baby,

right round like a record, baby,

Right round round round,

You spin me right round, baby,

Right round like a record, baby,

Right round round round!

Shut up!

No, wake up! Wake up or new song!

I am trying to sleep!

The hell you are!

You've Been Hit By,

You've Been hit By,

A Smooth Criminal!

Why can't you just shut up and let me sleep?!

Because it's time to wake up! Bitch!

You're the bitch! Let me sleep!

No! New song!

We Can Change The World Tomorrow,

This Could Be A Better Place,

If You Don't Like What I'm Sayin'

Then Won't You Slap My

Face?

**SHUT UP!* Let me sleep!*

Screw your sleep!

'Cause this is thriller, thriller night,

And no one's gonna save you from the beast about to strike,

You know it's thriller, thriller night,

You're fighting for your life inside a killer, thriller tonight!

Let me sleep! Goddamn it!

how about...no!

Welcome to your life,

There's no turning back,

Even while we sleep,

We will find you acting on your best behavior,

Turn your back on Mother Nature,

Everybody wants to rule the world!

Let me fucking sleep!

No!

Why not?

Because it's time to wake up!

It isn't! let me fucking sleep, you stupid shit!

"Is he okay?" a voice echoed through the darkness.

Show time!

As Big Mac opened his eyes, he was greeted by the white ceiling; covered with black spots of grime and dust, with the odd cracks and scratches; as he tilted his head slightly to the right, he saw his sister fretting over him.

That must of been the voice, damn she is-

Say another word and you are dying!

How? I am part of your cracked sanity

He tilted his head again, seeing his little sister, Applebloom; almost in complete tears and the doctor, waving around an x-ray of his head.

"Hi" he gave a weak smile, opening his eyes to the amount they would let him.

"Big Mac!" Applebloom shot to his side like a colorful cereal bit out of a slingshot and hugged him so tightly, it almost stopped the red stallion from breathing.

"Hiya, little sis'" he said. "How are you?"

"I've been scared" he gave him puppy dog eyes and he hugged her back.

"There is not a need, I'm still alive" he lifted her up. "And I can still protect you if zombies eat our neighbors" both giggled at the statement.

"That's good" she said back, taking away the puppy dog eyes.

"Yes, yes it is" he put her down.

now, you know this isn't real. You are still asleep, trying to trick me.

And?

That was wrong.

how so?

I am going to take over your head and control you.

Like hell you are.

Watch me!