Leaving Canterlot, Sauce kept a calm manner, looking at all the ponies who gaped at him with little distraction or interest. Twilight and Spike were leading, making sure to minimise any other pony's contact with Sauce, for he could be a danger to any one of them.

He was in fact the least dangerous inhabitant to exist, but for all the inhabitants, this fact was lost to them over their fears of what he could do as an entirely different race, his abilities could be greater than anything witnessed, they were not. Sauce, to everyone's knowledge, was only as powerful as his friends allowed him to be, if he became too powerful, they quickly clamped down on his ability and blocked any more shenanigans from occurring.

Getting onto the train, he found himself fighting off groups of nosy ponies, moving them aside as they tried to get close to inspect him. "Twilight, fraulien, is zere something you can do about these pesky ponies? I need my personal space und frankly I'm getting a little ticked with being stopped every five centimetres to be stared at," he said with a tone of exasperation. Quickly, Twi raised a shield around the cabin they sat in, the gap to walk in completely blocked by a magical field, her horn glowing softly with the aura.

Sauce raised an eyebrow, "What in the world?... I am a man of science and there is nothing that can generate this kind of energy except for... magic." He cleared his throat as he readdressed the final word "Magic..." pausing his entire pattern of thought to ponder a new idea.

"So... how can you do magic then?" he asked, curiously awaiting an answer. "It is your own bodily energy, the more energy you have inside of you, the greater the spell is that you can perform. It also depends on your knowledge, as more intellectual beings can find ways of using less magic on greater spells." answered Twilght.

"It is also willpower, love and friendship that generally power how strong a magical spell is, if you have a lot of knowledge, confidence and friends, then in theory, you'd become a highly magical being." She continued, as he made mental notes. Spike then asked "So, uh, about Rarity, why do you want to see her again?" his question masked his fear, for if Rarity liked Sauce more than himself, then he would surely be forgotten.

"Clothing, little dragon, clothing. As you can see by the gaping holes in my attire, I have very many tares and rips that are scattered pretty much everywhere without any particular bias." Smoking from his pipe, he continued, "Whilst all of you ponies walk around in the buff with nothing to cover you but your fur, or in your case Spike, your dragon scales, I have to hide my... obscenities. Because unlike you, I possess a phallus which would be constantly on display if it weren't for the fact I covered my more... private areas."

"Phallus?" asked Spike to Twilight, whose cheeks went slightly red, "A fancy and more gentlemanly term for a penis, Spike. If what I heard is correct, he covers himself because his body is naturally uncovered," she answered. "Oh..." he said, his face reddening too, Sauce looked around at the ponies who were all listening and had become equally embarrassed by this fact. "Nosy gits," he said loudly enough for any busy bee pony to hear, "I tend to cut off noses and put them in jars if anyone interfered in my business."

He smiled to himself as every head ducked down and got back to talking with their closest companion, Twilght looked at him apprehensively, afraid of interfering in his business now. "Don't worry, miss Sparkle, you're safe, I don't really do that." he whispered to her, so that nopony else could hear. "Although, if I did," he continued "I'd know that a few of them would probably be great examples."

He chuckled to reassure Twilight, although still apprehensive, she was trying to accept that Sauce was just trying to break the ice and stop other ponies from knowing what they shouldn't. He was in a strange world with barely any knowledge of how anything functioned, or any grasp of society, so she felt it vital that she taught him how to blend in with society.

Before any large lectures on pony society could be given, the train had reached its destination, saving Sauce from perhaps one of the most tedious occurrences in all his natural life. What he saw made him smile slightly, a small town built around pony kind, its candy colored palette really made Sauce think he was in some kind of dreamworld, but he was definitely awake.

Walking behind Twilight and Spike with a wide smile upon his face, even he couldn't keep a professional exterior when the scenery compared so closely to the things he loved as a child. More odd looks were given to him, some ponies recoiled in fear into their homesteads, others came to try and inspect Sauce to find out about what he was, but altogether, the effect he had was shock and awe.

It was after some distance that he finally laid eyes upon a rather odd, tent like building. "Here we are, Carousel Boutique. Hopefully, Rarity is in," said Twilight, looking to Sauce. "I'll try to be as calm and collected as possible, but just like you Twilight, I am excited to see this new species and how they've evolved from what we last saw. I knew you were a smart one the second you began understanding my theorems and motives," he casually stated, watching Spike lightly making a vomiting gesture out of the corner of his eye.

"Oh and by the way, if you feel sick, little dragon, the doctor is more than willing to operate," he said with a slightly crazed tone in reply to Spike's rather antisocial gesture, pressing his Ubersaw against his chin. He muttered "No, doc, I think I'm fine," also whispering death threats to Sauce under his breath, Twilight stood there and wasn't really sure who to side with.

"Now, to infinity and beyond!" Sauce exclaimed with a cheery disposition, raising his Ubersaw in the sky away from Spike so as not to harm him. Proceeding toward the door, Sauce pushed the door open, hearing the ringing of the bell as the door caught it.

"I'll be right with you! Hold on!" cried a voice from upstairs. This voice had a very rich and rather royal air to it, which made Sauce say with a sarcastic tone "More royalty? Oh my, well it seems that just about every pony is some kind of pretty princess."

"Princess? Hardly darling, I'm Rarity, thanks for the compliment though... whoever you are," she said as she descended the stairs into the room where Twi, Spike and Sauce were. Looking directly at him, her eyes widened as she spoke "Oh my heavens, what are you even?! What happened to your clothes?! Those things are just darling! Look, such rich golden fibers and... oh my heavens, is that real gold silk?!"

Sauce replied "I'm a Human. My clothes got ripped by the crash I had in the middle of this town, which I presume to be Ponyville by what I've heard. Also, yes, this is real golden silk, one of a kind, very rare to find in my universe and probably nigh improbable to find in this universe. Does this answer all your questions?"

"Well darling... I have never clothed for the likes of you... ever. I would try because clearly Twilight has brought you here to test my skills!" Rarity exclaimed in response, he looked bemused. Spike then explained "Actually, we brought him here because... he asked if there was a tailor, so Dash told him about you. Now we have to escort him around here, mainly because he doesn't know anything about this place, but also because he asked Twilight if she'd take him here."

"He's also the first human in Equestria after 950 years of there being no humans, so I guess he's graced you with his presence of being one of the first few ponies to actually be properly introduced to him, yadda yadda," Spike continued, his voice a little envious from Rarity's rather quick liking toward Sauce. "So, you... the first human in over 950 years... want me, simple little me... to help you restore your clothing to its former glory?" asked Rarity.

"If that were acceptable with your standards ma'am, I would highly appreciate your efforts, you would be much revered by my standards and I would remember your kindness every day," Sauce replied, smoothing his British accent to the point of where it sounded like each word was spun out of silk.

"I... feel honored to receive such a duty!" she said with excitement, "But I must ask, may I take measurements of you? I need to make sure I get your dimensions right..." she lightly trailed off. "Oh.. and also," she said in a now serious tone, "I need you to remove your clothing so that I may repair it correctly."

Sauce blushed, then jokingly said "At least take me out to dinner first," his own cheeks lightly reddening as Rarity's went a deep maroon. Removing his clothes complacently, he was left in his black boxers, socks and Ushanka, his glasses and pipe still sitting in their prestigious positions.

Twilight, Spike and rarity all found themselves gazing at him, removing his socks lightly, he stretched out his toes and wiggled his fingers. He gave a deep sigh, then said "I've heard of people liking to be free, but this is ridiculous," giving a small smile as he said so.

Rarity casually trotted a full circuit around him, using a tailor's tape to measure widths and lengths specifically, arms, legs, torso, waist. For Sauce, it was mere seconds, but for Rarity, it was peerless hours of self skepticism. Looking at each number, each part, each bone, each muscle... every handsome feature... shaking her head and reasserting awareness, she needed to concentrate on what mattered, the repairs.

He remained inside, as humorous as it would have been to run around in his boxers in Ponyville, it would also likely have Celestia lock him in some form of dungeon for a period of time. He wasn't massive on socialization or skills, but he knew when someone didn't trust him straight away, seeing as conversations were rather awkward with them.

Removing his Ushanka from his head to rid his head of its hot, stuffy feeling, long streams of golden hair fell down out of place from where it once sat. Stopping at about shoulder length, the hair resembled that of a legendary rockers' mullet, briefly looking over to his bag, Sauce extracted a card marked "Shred alert", inspecting it with a small smile.

Touching the center of the card, the Mann Co. technology kicked in, the card retrieving a shrunken guitar from his backpack, then making it grow to its full size. Holding it in his hands, he lightly strummed the guitar, which made the iconic electric guitar sound. It needed no amplifiers, seeing as the tech was advanced beyond the need for amplifiers, it instead just played as if it were its own amplifier, the sound which emanated from it was indescribably awesome.

Playing a medley of songs, he sung to none, but knew his way around a guitar. Ever since the Shred alert card came into the Mann Co. store, it was mandatory that all of Red and Blu team knew how to play a guitar perfectly, Sauce learned pretty easily, seeing as it was just copying a pattern, then using it himself in practice. In all honesty, it served no purpose for the battle, but for entertainment purposes, it was a skill he found to be almost irreplaceable.

Rarity came back an hour later as he was finally growing tired of strumming songs, which Spike and Twilight were rather enjoying to say the least. She gave him his new clothing, folded in a neat pile and warm to the touch, he smiled warmly and said "Thankyou, miss Rarity, I owe you a debt of gratitude."

Upon putting the clothing on, it was softer and warmer than ever, everything having been made from softer and finer materials than before. He crouched down to Rarity, opening his arms out and looking expectantly at her, she approached with caution, but he swept her into a warm, gentle hug of thanks, lightly kissing her upon the forehead.

She embraced Sauce with a small smile, then looked at Twilight, who was actually laughing at how big of a softy Sauce really was. Rarity silently and jokingly mouthed "If anyone asks, this one's taken!" gesturing to him and giggling a little, Twilight rolled her eyes in response, but still smiled nonetheless.

He finally stopped hugging Rarity, placing her gently on the ground then standing up. He asked "Do you need anything for this?" "No, I won't charge, this is free darling, but I do wonder, how is your mane as gold as your hat?" she questioned. "Oh, this is my natural hair color, I was born with snow white hair and as I got older, it progressively got darker, but it stopped at a bright buttercup yellow color." He replied casually.

"Bright sapphire blue eyes, buttercup blonde hair, moderately muscular but not grotesquely muscular. Why is it that I feel as if you are nothing more than an old pony-tale?" Asked Rarity. "Perhaps it's because my race hasn't existed in this realm for 950 years," he stated, "Oh yes, silly me," she replied.

"Well, I wouldn't like to keep lady Rarity waiting, miss Twilight, I'm sure she has more important things to do than let me sit here and flirt with her. So, is there anywhere or anypony else I should absolutely see?" he asked Twilight, looking at Spikes expression of sheer frustration.

"Well, I'm sure Pinky Pie would love to see a new face around here," said Twilight, "Although, I should warn you, she's very energetic. She has been known to easily get to new ponies and steer them round the bend," she finished with a note of concern. "Trust me, if I could have become any more insane, I would have already probably reached the limit of insanity by now. Oh wait, insanity has no limits, that's because it has no rules, it is insanity after all!" he replied with a rather ecstatic tone.

Leaping onto Twilight's back, he lifted his legs up so they didn't touch the ground, then yelled "Onward, my valiant steed!" raising his ubersaw like a sword because it seemed most appropriate. Twilight rolled her eyes, then reared onto her hind hooves to try get Sauce off, he would not budge, regardless of the conditions. "OK, fine then, but only this once!" she said sternly, glaring at him, but his eyes were big begging eyes, no matter how stern, Twilight highly doubted that the look couldn't make any heart melt.

Because Sauce was hardly heavy for a creature of his size, twilight managed to get him to Sugarcube corner relatively quickly by hoof. "Fast, efficient and helps at least two of us!" he exclaimed, looking at Spike who trailed behind, he yelled "Shake a leg there slowpoke!"

"You know, you're more annoying than most ponies here, I can stand most of it, but you seem to be constantly taunting me," snarled Spike through gritted teeth. "I don't mean to, I thought that you'd also want to be my friend... I'm not used to making good friends with anyone anymore, so I just normally repel anyone who tries to get close. I do this because of the incident..."
Sauce's apology was strong, but the "Incident" he spoke of trailed off as he looked miserable, a single tear trailed down his face.

"A-anyway, that's not the point what happened with LazyPurple and I is now is history," he said, rousing himself from his past experiences. "My point is, whilst I may initially like someone, I don't trust them in entirety, so I sometimes lie, but I mostly tell the truth. Only when I know someone for long enough do they hear secrets from me, GoldenPhoenix is one of the rare people who has stayed on my friends list since day 1."

"So, Sauce... how much does it hurt?" Spike questioned, "To feel so alone, yet have all the friends you do? Surely you must feel... empty."

To this, Sauce went deathly silent, then he said in a low, monotone voice "Drop it, now." Sauce meant business, he often didn't like opening the woulds that comprised his history, but Spike dug especially deep, which only made the wound sting more feverishly.

Twilight couldn't help but feel awkward as the small crowd that gathered near Sugarcube corner all heard Sauce's words. He himself adjusted himself, then placed a professional look on his face to hide the pain, the joy and laughter that normally emitted from this beacon of friendship was merely a mask to distract him from the deep searing pains.

Sauce pushed open the door to the cake shop, seeing the yellowish pony and the aqua-marine colored pony. "Good morning Mr and Mrs. Cake, have you seen Pinky?" Twilight was swift and to the point, hoping no more emotional outbreaks would be caused by Sauce.

Mrs. Cake answered "Last time I checked, she was upstairs, but she's been acting more strange than usual, she says she saw something crash down from space and has not moved from her room..." she carried off as she saw Sauce, trying to hide her initial shock, which was short of failure.

He said "I know, 'OH WOW, LOOK, WHAT A FREAK!' Just stare at me all you like, I'm getting used to feeling like a freak of nature, it suits my disposition better," he sighed with a frustrated tone, he saw Twilight's reaction and knew he had failed already. "Put me in a museum, paint a picture, draw me. It will all last much longer than I will in this world by the looks of things," he continued, his mood massively macabre and dampening.

"Ooooh, the space man is cranky!" exclaimed a voice with a rather cheerful and bubbly personality. "My name is Pinkie Pie, hello Mr. Spaceman, I saw you fly down from space! What's it like up there? Is there enough space in space or is it all cramped up there? Also, I couldn't help but notice you were going really fast! How did you go so fast?!"

"Oh wait, don't tell me! You used a device that was capable of accelerating you two times the speed of light for the ability of inter-dimensional travel, so you randomly punched numbers into a keyboard, you then entered the portal, it sent you to this universe, then exploded upon you leaving that universe so you could come to this one!" Pinkie smiled with glee, Twilight found herself gaping, looking over at Sauce, he also looked rather taken aback, his whole expression changed from depression to impression in under a second.

He felt obliged to ask, a look of interest deeply engraved upon his face, "How do you know all of this exactly, Miss Pie?" "Oh I didn't, it's just a hunch!" she replied, which really did blow Sauce's mind. "You must have improbably good hunches then. By the way, my name is doctor Sauce," he casually said.

"Ooooooooh! What kind of sauce? Tomato, Garlic, Onion, BBQ, Relish, Mustard, Mint or Mystery?!" she asked excitedly. "Not those kinds of sauces, although that joke has been made many times by many of my old friends," he replied gently. "Are you sure I wouldn't just lick you and you'll taste of sauce? You never know, you could taste like any kind of sauce!" she seemed to really want to follow through with this.

Sauce crouched down and pulled up his sleeve, exposing his arm. He smiled, but said in a half sarcastic tone "If you insist that I taste of sauce, you can find out for yourself, although I warn you, I'm not much of a prime rib." He laughed gently, but nopony else really did, he then said to himself "Human meat related jokes... total mood killer in this universe."

Pinkie nonetheless pounced on him, wrapping her rather soft lips around his arm. Sauce could feel her tongue running up and down his arm, slathering it almost entirely in drool, he laughed because it actually tickled slightly. With his free arm, he ran a hand through Pinkie's mane, smelling his hand, he silently questioned "Cotton candy pony?"

Pinkie stopped licking his arm and withdrew her mouth from his arm, "You don't taste of anything, I was so sure that you would though. They should call you Dr. Plain, not Dr. Sauce, that's a name that makes me hungry for sauce." He smiled "It's my birth name, I'm not going to replace it any time soon. Plus, if I were entirely British, my parents would have called me Adam Wheatfield, which would have made you hungry for wheat!" he played along with Pinkie's joke.

"Huh, well, I've never met someone of your kind before Saucy, what are you anyway?" she asked. "I'm a Human, according to Celestia my kind hasn't existed here for 950 years. So that's probably why you've never seen anything like me around," he answered.

He lifted her up and inspected her, "You're a pink pudgy pony with a candyfloss mane, with a personality that could drive anyone insane." He spun a small, rhyme, then hugged her, saying "Luckily I have no means to object, I've already been round the bend in a matter of subject. So I guess we can be friends till the ends, if that's what you want."

She giggled lightly, but exclaimed "Hey, I'm not pudgy!" "You're right, you're not, but whatever you call it it makes you cute and tickleable!" he said with excitement, tickling Pinkie's belly. Bucking about each hoof and laughing in delight, Pinkie was enjoying all the attention that Sauce was giving her.

Twilight cleared her throat after about 10 minutes of watching Sauce play around with her friend in the cake shop. He stood up, lightly booping Pinkie on the nose before trying to resume a controlled demeanour, lightly masking small chuckles as Mr and Mrs. Cake both equally tried to stand on their own hooves, too busy laughing at the antics that ensued.

Small miscellaneous giggles escaped random spectators as the scene calmed down. Sauce saw all the happy faces around him, which made him smile widely, feeling appreciated. "Pinky, the reason I'm here is because Twilight and Spike wanted to show me around, I don't really know much about this place," he said. "But I'm sure as I get familiar with the surroundings, it won't bother me so much. Heck, I might even get a chance to have my own house here, that is if princess Celestia or even Twilight were to give me permissions."

Sauce continued, "If this community could grow to like me, I think I would highly consider becoming a permanent resident. Also, I couldn't help but notice, for a pony society, you do have awful big Human sized doors and houses."

"Actually, that's normally to accommodate the griffins and other larger creatures," said Twilight. "If your book hasn't explained, most of the other creatures that come through Ponyville generally are larger than pony kind, so it was declared by Celestia some time ago that all buildings should be made to accommodate any large and presumably neutral creature."

She continued "Of course, you've read that book back to front, but I can logically confirm that at least 95% of the creatures exist in this world, there are some that're not mentioned in the book too, like Changelings."

"Changwha?" he questioned in response, the looks of every pony becoming rather grim. "Changelings... unlike any other race... aren't limited by the rules of our society. They can take on the form of anypony you know, normally a pony you love and cherish quite dearly," she said in a low tone.

"In essence they could become anypony at anytime, disregarding the fact that the pony may have their personal lives deeply interfered with by the destruction they may cause. They don't care how much they ruin somepony's life, so long as they harvest the emotions of love and happiness from them, that's all that matters." With a sigh, Twilight finished, Sauce looked intrigued.

"So, if I wished to study a 'Changeling' to understand why it acted like this, I suppose the resources I need wouldn't be openly available. If I'm assuming correctly, your society is far away from their kind," he said with a slight curiosity. "Don't. Ever. Go. Near. Them. EVER!" she commanded, "It's a stupid suicide mission that has only resulted in the husks of ponies returning to us!"

"Emptied of all emotion except for despair... cold, desolate and lonesome, their hunger for emotion is just like that of the changelings, but they can be restored after years of close and personal care!" she said in frustration. "I will avoid that then, I'm sorry Miss Sparkle, I didn't mean to upset you," said Sauce in a low-key tone.

"Ethulwulf, you've not upset me. I'm just slightly frustrated that anyone would even consider it, even you, you're a smart being," she said. "Ethulwulf... is a name that only my lover can use, Miss Sparkle, unless you are speculating that you love me, you will call me Dr. Sauce from now on."
Twilight blushed, then said "Right, sorry doctor. I promise I won't say it unless I were to... love you."

"WAIT!" Yelled Pinkie, "So you're telling me that he's Doctor E. Sauce?! That means he's also Mr. E. Sauce, MYSTERY SAUCE! TWILIGHT, HE'S A MYSTERY!" He face-palmed and smiled with a small, somewhat forced smile, then said "Yes Pinkie, Mr. E. Sauce, you solved the biggest mystery of them all."

"Now if private investigator Sherlock Pones is done here," Sauce paused for laughter, "Then If the Cakes don't mind, I'll bring Pinkie here along with me for the adventures. By the name of myself, a little comic humour would do this group the world of good."

Desperately, both the Cakes tried to hide their elation of not having to handle 3 children, but Sauce picked up on the emotions by the looks on their faces. He was guessing Twilight and Spike had picked up on it too, mainly because they scowled quite darkly in confirmation to each-other.

Pinkie, however, was already prepared, Sauce didn't even blink, let alone react to the fact that a rather large "Adventure bag!" as she so 'delicately' put it, had appeared before him. He thought he moved fast, travelling at twice the speed of light, but clearly even Pinky could best him or any of his inventions without any knowledge at all.

Carrying the pink pony outside on his shoulders, it was quite a spectacle to say the least. Nonetheless, the journey will be long and tiresome, one more on their party who can entertain shouldn't harm in any way.

"We have Applejack and Fluttershy left, seeing as I, Spike, Rarity, Dash And Pinkie have seen you. I must make sure all my friends know you, so that they'll be comfortable. We'll leave Fluttershy 'till last, she's rather timid, to say the least," Twilight said, looking at her own companion who rode her back, still somewhat upset by recent events.

"Off to Applejack then!" cried Pinky, sauce smiled and agreed, "Applejack, ready or not, here we come!"

Sauce ran off with Pinkie, who was his new guide, taking him to Sweet Apple Acres. Twilight was desperately trying to keep up with them, not necessarily the most athletic pony.

However, Twilight remembered one thing, no matter what, Applejack was trustworthy and honest, she could help her with her Saucy situation.

[Continued in Chapter 5]

Author's Note

This will possibly be the longest chapter, stay tuned folks.