Chapters Just a bit too much whiskey
Lyra woke up and rubbed her eyes. She checked her alarm clock. It kept flashing 12:00.
"Damn. I have to fix this thing every day." she said to herself as she reset it according to the clock on her wall. "Will this thing ever stay fixed long enough to go off at 8?"
When she finished with the alarm clock she went into the living room. Her roommate and best friend Bon Bon was sitting on the couch watching TV and reading a book. "Morning Lyra." she said not looking up from her book.
"How did you know I was here?" Lyra asked.
"I heard your door open." Bon Bon's eyes scanned the page of whatever she was reading.
"Ahh. I see. Hey you want anything?" Lyra was digging around in the fridge.
"No, I've already had breakfast. Hey, why haven't you been waking up early anymore?"
Lyra pulled out an apple and took a bite of it. "I need a new alarm clock." she said, her mouth full of apple.
"That sucks. And a word of advice. Talking with your mouth full is very sexy." Bon Bon added the last part sarcastically.
"Yeah yeah, I know. I've heard all of your tips to get a stallion." Lyra took another bite of her apple.
"I know. Just looking out for you." Bon Bon said with a smile.
"So, whats up with you?" Lyra sat on the couch next to her friend and finished the apple. (3 bites, a new world record)
"Not much, but do you remember what day it is?"
"Sunday, but I'm guessing by your question there's more."
"Your so smart."
"Yeah I now, so what day IS it?"
"Don't you remember silly?"
"Obviously not."
"Its girl's night!"
"Its been a month already?"
"Yeah."
"So where are we going tonight?"
"Three bars have an all you can drink deal tonight. Here are the ads." Bon Bon ripped a page out of the back of the book she was reading and gave it to Lyra. What was she reading? There weren't any words! Just chicken scratch. BUt she seemed content with it as she turned the page and read more.
"Umm Bon Bon. This is an ad for a job at Hoof Slammer. The night club that our parents forbid us from going to."
"Flip it over."
Lyra did so. "Oh, I see. Lets go to Chill's. It only costs 7 bits there and I know the owner so I get a discount."
"All right. What time is it?"
"5:30"
"Wow, you really need a new alarm clock."
"Yeah, I know. Ooh, lets get a new alarm clock and set it up, by the time we're done, it should be time to go."
"All right."
The two went to the electronics store and bought a simple alarm clock. When they returned home, Lyra did her thing and tried to set it up without help while Bon Bon read the instructions. Bon Bon finished and helped Lyra out. When they got the clock set up, its was 7:00 and starting to get dark.
"TO THE BAR!" Lyra shouted.
"I'll get my purse." Bon Bon said.
"Don't, you'll be drunk, pretty hard to stop a thief from stealing your purse when you're drunk."
"Good point. To the bar!"
The two fixed their make up and went to the bar. When they arrived, they got the all you can drink deal for 5 bits each. After half an hour, they were both completely wasted. Lyra was trying to talk to Bon Bon and utterly failing when a familiar red stallion walked up. He tapped Lyra's shoulder and tipped his head off to one side pointing to a door.
"Jew gawna po?" he said obviously drunk.
"Slur." Lyra said. Oh the irony.
The red stallion put a hoof on Lyra's back for balance and they headed over to the door. Lyra opened it and they walked in. The stallion shut it. Ok screw it, we all know who he is right? I'll just start using his name. There was a single bed in the room. Big Mac locked the door and Lyra flopped onto the bed. Big Mac walked over, then it happened. I don't mean it as in a kiss or a hug or some other kiddish relationship thing, when I say it i mean it.
After an hour or so, Lyra and Big Mac left the room. Lyra went over to Bon Bon, sat on the stool next to her. Poked her friend's sleeping body until she woke u, then failed at making conversation. Again.
"Sue wart lappened?" Bon Bon asked.
"I bone now." Lyra responded.
They looked at each other confused as to what happened.
"Pee shoe gaw." Bon Bon said.
"Po, nee lood doe." Lyra said.
The bartender walked up.
"You two realized you both just suggested to leave right?" he said.
"Ho do yuh lund uh sternd?"
"Trust me, working at a bar serving all you can drink for 10 years teaches you how to speak drunkenese." he said with a wink.
The two mares got off their stools, put their hooves on each other's backs and wrapped tails for balance. They headed home. Sure it was dangerous walking home drunk in the sense of risking sexual assault. But they just looked like two lesbians the way they walked. They got home and both lied on the ground. They didn't care where they were, they were drunk, they didn't KNOW where they were. They looked at each other, Bon Bon lying on her back, Lyra on her stomach. They stared into each other's eyes for a few seconds then laughed. Laughed like an stereotypical bloated old man. You know, kind of deep and muffled. Then both of their heads fell to the ground and they fell asleep instantly. I wonder what they dreamed of. Were they dreaming of pink little puppies who barfed rainbows and drank from rivers of sugar water? Or was it unicorns, no wait, they normally see unicorns, why would they dream of unicorns? Maybe they dreamed of magical humans flying through the air and farting rainbows and spreading love and magic wherever they go. No, that sounds too acid trippy. Eh whatever. Who cares what they're dreaming of, its not like it effects the story one way or another!
Author's Note
I only used the word drunkenese because of Sir Barton's comment. I found the drunkenese part clever, so I used it, hope you don't mind sir, thanks for the idea!
Just a bit too much whiskey
Lyra woke up at 8:30. She woke up so late because 8 was just too early. She was used to waking up at 5:30 remember? Ok whatever, I'm sidetracking, lets get back to the story. Lyra went into the kitchen, Bon Bon was still sleeping. Lyra was a little more rotund than a few months ago. She went into the fridge and started digging around for an apple. She had to reach to the way back. She had to bend slightly to get the apple. The effort of bending was a little painful. She wondered why, but that was the least of her worries at the moment, her top priority, eat breakfast. She bit a large chunk off the apple. Then Lyra sat on the couch and turned on the TV. She finished her apple, but still felt hungry. Lyra started thinking, and lately she has eaten more than she used to. Oh well, such is life. It does happen to everypony some time in their life, male or stallion, but that's a different story. Lyra was sitting on the couch for a while. She tried to get up to find more food a few minutes ago, but it was difficult for her to get up.
Bon Bon walked in.
"Good morning Lyra." Bon Bon said with a yawn.
"Morning Bon Bon." Lyra replied.
Bon Bon went over to the fridge and starting looking for breakfast.
"Hey Bon Bon, can you get me an apple please?"
"Doesn't look like we have any." Bon Bon said after a couple seconds. "But we have plenty of carrots."
"I'll take 5 carrots." Lyra said readjusting her position. Sitting down just wasn't as comfortable as it was.
"Here." Bon Bon gave Lyra a few carrots and they both ate in silence.
When they were done, Bon Bon spoke up.
"Hey Lyra, you've been acting odd lately."
"Yeah I know, I don't know why, so don't ask."
"Oh, ok then."
"Hey wheres the remote?"
"You're probably sitting on it again."
Lyra pushed her mid section into the air withe a groan and stuck her hoof in the space she created and searched for the remote. She eventually found it and turned the volume up after laying back down. She put the remote on the coffee table. She turned her full attention to the TV.
"Lyra, its girl's night again. You want to go or are you not up to it again?"
"I don't really want to go."
"Aww come on, you haven't gone in 6 months! heck, you haven't done much of anything in the past six months!"
"Yeah, I know, you can go tonight, but I just don't want to."
"But it will be so lonely without you!" Bon Bon complained.
"You could always call up Rarity."
"Yeah, but shes not as fun as you."
"Well, I don't care what you do tonight, but I'm staying home."
"Ok Lyra, I get you."
"All right, so you going to go?"
"Yeah, I guess I'll call up Rarity."
"Ok, phone is over there." Lyra pointed to the phone on the wall.
"All right, you sure you don't want to come?" Bon Bon asked dialing Rarity's number.
"I'm good."
"All right." then Bon Bon hit call and waited for Rarity to pick up.
Bon Bon started talking to Rarity through the phone. After a few minutes, she hung up and trotted over to the door.
"Well, I'm going now. If you need me, you know the bar's number. Just tell Chill you need me, I'll come home that instant."
"Ok Bon Bon, you can go now. Bye" Lyra said struggling to wave to her friend, but refusing to show her pain.
Bon Bon left the house and shut the door. Lyra heard some talking from outside, probably from Bon Bon and Rarity. Then the two voices faded. Lyra was alone. Then she realized. Her monthly 'thing' hasn't happened this month, it hasn't happened for 6 moths! Don't question my language, I'm trying to keep this as appropriate as a story involving sex and pregnancy can be! Lyra thought to herself. Oh god. All the signs point to it. I'm pregnant! I don't believe it! Who was it that got me pregnant? She started sweating heavily. This can't be, oh Celestia help me! No, this is all just a bad dream, I'll go to sleep and when I wake up, everything will be all right. So Lyra put her head on a pillow, shut her eyes, and drifted off. Lets not get into the dream conversation again.
Just a bit too much whiskey
Lyra was laying on the hospital bed exhausted from the effort of giving birth. Her best friend Bon Bon was sitting next to her the whole time, doing what the guy usually does. Offering their hoof while the baby comes out and the mother practically shatters all the bones in the hoof she was holding to relieve the pain somewhat. Lyra was lying there breathing deeply while the doctor and nurse were inspecting the baby for any birth defects, and Bon Bon was holding ice to her hoof. Lyra looked at her friend. Bon Bon smiled to her. After a few minutes the doctor turned to Lyra and gave her the baby.
"Here you go ma'am. Your baby is healthy and should not need any special attention." he said.
"Thank you." Lyra responded as she took the baby and cradled it in her arms.
"So, whats her name?" the doctor asked.
Lyra looked at the newborn filly. It was a slightly darker shade of blue than her. The little unicorn looked lovingly at her mother. "Viola, Viola Heartstrings." she said.
"All right, but you're in no condition to walk home, so you'll have to stay here tonight."
"Ok, but where will Viola sleep?"
The nurse pushed up a cart with a small plastic container. "She'll probably sleep in here."
"Oh, ok."
"But where will I sleep?" Bon Bon spoke up.
"But its not very comfortable."
"It folds out into a bed."
"Oh." Bon Bon picked up the cushions and pulled out the bed. "Thanks."
Just then, Viola made a soft kitten-like mew. Bon Bon, Lyra, and the nurse all said "awww" in unison. The doctor just grunted and left the room, it was obvious he sees that too much.
"Well, I guess I should leave you three alone." the nurse said as she put some of her tools into a bag and left the room.
"So, what will we do now?" asked Bon Bon.
"I don't know." Lyra answered.
"Who do you think the dad was?"
"I don't know, but I sure hope he's handsome, strong, smart, sweet, easy to find in a crowd, and going to meet me soon."
"I mainly hope for the first and last ones."
"Yeah, I just want to know who it is mostly."
"So, you want to play checkers or something?"
"Sure, I'm ok with checkers."
Bon Bon dug into the closet to find a checker box. When she found it, she pulled up a tale and set it up.
"You want to be red or black?" she asked.
"Red, not sure why, but I've just liked red a lot more lately."
"All right. You go first."
Lyra used her magic to move a checker. After about half an hour, they were done. Then they played again, and again, and again until they were bored with the game.
"Wow, I can't believe you beat me 15 times in a row!" Bon Bon said amazed at Lyra's skills.
"Neither can I, oh, look at the time. I guess we should go to sleep."
"But its only 7." Bon Bon complained.
"I gave birth 3 hours ago. I'm tired, I don't care what you do, but don't wake me up." Lyra said as she rolled onto her side, pulled up the covers, and tried to sleep.
Bon Bon got up and walked around to look at Viola.
"Hi there little cutey pie." she said in that annoyingly high pitched voice people always talk to babies in. She rubbed Viola on her stomach. Then the baby babbled happily. Bon Bon smiled, why are babies always so cute? Then she tickled Viola's chin, Viola responded by grabbing her hoof and gumming on it. Awefully hard to nibble on something when you don't have teeth.
"Aww you must be hungry." Bon Bon said then looked at Lyra. "Lyra, Lyra, are you awake?" she whispered while softly nudging her friend.
"Yes, I am." she muttered.
"Baby is hungry."
"I heard."
"Soo?" Bon Bon said a little confused.
"Bottles on the counter."
"Thanks." Bon Bon grabbed the bottle and fed Viola.
When she was done, the little unicorn looked at Bon Bon with innocent eyes and let out a yawn. Then Viola let her head down and fell asleep. Lyra rolled over on the hospital bed and fell asleep herself. Bon Bon was now alone. She wasn't tired, but there was nothing to do, the only magazines there were years old and the board games were meant for at least two ponies to play.
"Ehh buck it." she said as she went to the pull out bed and fell asleep even though she wasn't tired.
***
Lyra woke up to hear her baby crying.
"Whats that noise?" she asked, not used to being a mother.
"Viola is crying." Bon Bon answered with a yawn.
"OH, my baby!" she said as she picked up her baby and cradled her in her arms. "Shhh, everything is all right. Mommas here." she said in a motherly tone as Viola bit Lyra's hoof.
Using her magic, Lyra grabbed the bottle, refilled it and gave it to her baby. Viola sucked out the formula hungrily. After a bit, Lyra took the bottle away. Newborns can't drink a full bottle after all, and they can't tell when they're full. Lyra hugged Viola happily. The baby gave a small burp. Bon Bon, who was sitting up now, giggled at the burp.
"She is so cute." Bon Bon said.
"I know." Lyra replied.
"You make very cute babies."
"Thank you." Lyra paused for a second. "Come over here." she said sticking a hoof out to one side. Bon Bon trotted up and Lyra pulled her in and they hugged. Not in a lesbian way, but in a totally normal girls do it all the time and it doesn't mean anything special way.
Viola giggled and threw her hooves in the air happily, not having a clue what was happening. She was a baby after all, all she knew was who her mother was.
"Bon Bon, you're a really good friend to me. You and I have been through the worst." Lyra said.
"Where is this going?" Bon Bon backed away and eyed Lyra suspiciously.
"How would you like to be Viola's godmother?"
"YES!" she jumped with joy.
Then the doctor walked in.
"Hello girls, how are you today."
"Good." Lyra and Bon Bon said in unison. Viola was sitting upright by Lyra's side watching the doctor.
"Well Lyra." he said checking a paper on his clipboard. "According to this, you can leave in a few hours, we just have to monitor your vitals and make sure your energy levels restore correctly."
"All right."
"And according to this machine." he said tapping a monitor that was impossible to read without proper training with a pen. "You will be able to leave on time."
"Whats that number?" Lyra asked pointing to a blue number that changed occasionally.
"That's your blood pressure."
"And that one?"
"That's the battery left on the monitor."
"Whats that line?"
"That is a crack in the screen."
"Oh." Lyra felt stupid at the moment.
"So, do you need anything while I'm here?"
"Could I get an apple please?" Lyra asked.
"Make that two." Bon Bon chimed in.
"Sure. I'll be back in a few minutes." the doctor left the room.
Viola looked at her mother babbling in that impossible o understand baby language.
"Oh Viola, you're so cute." Lyra said as she grabbed her baby and rubbed noses with her.
The new godmother smiled at her goddaughter.
Lyra played with Viola by softly bouncing her around. Viola clearly enjoyed it. They played together for a couple minutes before the doctor arrived with the apples.
"Here you go Lyra. Two apples." he said.
"Thank you sir, that will be all."
"Ok, if you need anything just hit the buzzer." he said as he shut the door.
Lyra gave her friend an apple and they ate in silence. Viola watched them, a confused look on her face. When they finished, they started playing some board games to pass the time. Viola watched them intently, trying to figure out what in Equestria they were doing. After a few hours, the doctor walked back in and checked the monitor.
"All right Lyra, do you think you can walk?"
"Yeah."
"Ok, then you may go whenever you like." he said as he left the room.
"Well Bon Bon, do you think we should go?" Lyra asked.
"Sure, I'll carry the bottle and formula mix if you get the baby."
"All right. I'm ok with that."
Bon Bon put the bottle and formula mix in her purse and Lyra balanced Viola on her back. They walked up to the front desk and made sure they knew she left. The mare at the desk gave Lyra a baby carrier. Lyra put it on and put Viola in it. The two friends left the hospital and headed home. When they got home, the two of them immediately started baby proofing it.
"Bon Bon." Lyra said. "We need a crib or a playpen or something."
"I'll go buy one." Bon Bon offered as she gave Lyra the bottle and formula mix and ran out the door.
Lyra sat on the couch with Viola. They stared at each other.
"So, what do you do?" Lyra asked the baby even though she knew she wouldn't get an intelligent response.
Viola blinked and fell onto her stomach. Then she started crying.
Lyra picked up Viola and rocked her in her arms slowly and calmly singing in a sweet voice. Viola stopped crying after a while and stared up at her mother. She blinked slowly then yawned. Lyra gently set her new child down and went into her room and grabbed a small cloth. She came back and quickly swaddled the tired infant. She resumed rocking Viola.
Bon Bon walked in pushing a fairly large box into the house.
"You know, this is normally something that's done BEFORE the baby is born right?" Bon Bon asked wiping the sweat from her forehead.
"SHHH. Viola is sleeping." Lyra said gently.
Bon Bon opened the box muttering something under her breath. She took out the instructions and began reading.
Lyra used her magic and assembled the crib before Bon Bon finished the first paragraph.
"How did you do that so quickly?" Bon Bon asked.
"I watched a lot of videos while you were asleep this morning." Lyra answered.
"How?"
"I asked for a laptop and went on metube."
"Oh."
Lyra set Viola in the crib.
"You do know this is going to be tough on us right?" Bon Bon asked.
"I know." Lyra replied.
And they watched the filly sleep. She was a cute little unicorn after all. Watching a baby sleep was surprisingly tiring, and they both fell asleep too.
The end. Oh wait, this isn't the end yet? Oh, dang, guess that means I'll have to write another chapter.
Just a bit too much whiskey
A few weeks after Viola was born, the taxes were due. Now, Lyra and Bon Bon always struggled with bills, so you can only imagine what was going to happen now that they have a baby to take care of.
"Oh god. This is not good, not good at all." Bon Bon said holding a paper with a nervous sweat.
"What?" Lyra asked playing with Viola.
"The bills."
"Oh shit."
Then Viola started crying as if she understood what was happening, for the first time.
"Look at this." Bon Bon said as she hit the paper to signify what she wanted to show Lyra.
Lyra got up and looked. "That's a lot of zeros. That's a decimal not a comma right?"
"Nope."
"How much time do we have?"
"Three days."
"But, that's impossible, nopony has EVER made that much money in such a short time!"
"Better hope we set a new record."
"What are we going to do with Viola? We both have to work 24/7 to get that much money!"
"Hire a foal sitter?"
"But who would foal sit for free?"
"Rarity."
"What. why? She usually is MORE expensive than other foal sitters."
"She owes me."
"Why?"
"She gets drunk faster than me and told me a secret while I wasn't under the influence last month."
"Take her over there and look for the best paying job you can!"
"Ok!" Bon Bon then took Viola and the baby stuff over to the boutique. She explained the situation and Rarity agreed to take care of the cute little baby.
Then Bon Bon and Lyra set off to find a job. The only jobs that payed well and they were willing to do were priest, party cleaner, and librarian. They didn't even have to think twice about the other jobs. Then Lyra ruled out priest, neither of them are very religious. Bon Bon went to be a party cleaner. She left to go to Sugar Cube Corner, where almost all parties are held. Lyra decided to be a librarian, there weren't any other options, so of course she picked it, then she headed to the only library in Ponyville, Twilight's tree.
When Lyra arrived, a small purple dragon greeted her and ushered her inside. She didn't trust him at first, but she decided he wasn't big enough to do any harm. She sat on the only open chair and Twilight Sparkle walked in.
"Hello Lyra." the purple alicorn said.
"Hi Twilight." Lyra responded.
"So, you want to be a librarian?"
"Yes."
"How good are you at running a cash register?"
"Uhh good, but this is a library, why do you need register experience?"
"A smart one I see. You will do very well. Now, can you put this book, on the shelf?" Twilight said as she pulled out a ginormous book and pointed to one of the highest shelves.
"Of course I can, that's easy." Lyra leaned back and used her magic to book the book in the space indicated, but for some reason, it wouldn't go in the slot. Lyra looked then parted the books to make a bigger space and slipped the large one in between.
"Wow, you are smart, you got the job. Work the whole day and I'll pay you 100 bits."
"Ok, thank you Twilight"
Twilight gave Lyra a laminated ID card and headed toward her bedroom.
"How did you make this, you didn't know I was coming over."
"Lyra dear, I'm magic, I can do anything I want with it."
Lyra looked at the ID card dumbly then watched as Twilight went into her bathroom. Almost immediately, a conversation between her and some pony who had a voice that was surprisingly familiar to Lyra, but not too familiar, not a friend, but someone she sees a lot. Like at a convention or on TV or maybe at the wonderbolt's performances. Then she heard some sounds that, although soft, implied something joyful was happening behind the door.
Lyra ignored this and sat down at the table in the library. She watched as a single old lime land pony hobbled around looking at some of the books.
"This is going to be a long day." she said to herself as she grabbed a book on the table and started reading. "I wonder how Bon Bon is doing?"
When she got to her destination, Bon Bon looked around for Mr. and Mrs. Cake. Eventually she found the Mrs.
"Hello ma'am, what would you like?"
"I'm here about the job."
"Oh wonderful! All you have to do is clean up our shop from the party we had last night. I'll pay you 100 bits for your labor for the whole day."
Bon Bon grabbed a broom and looked at the store. It was a mess, cups and streamers everywhere. "This is going to be a long day." she said to herself as she started sweeping.
Rarity was sitting at home watching Viola play with her baby toys the way babies do, banging it on the ground and chewing on it. She watched and watched and watched.
"So, what do you do?" Rarity asked.
Viola looked at her and stuck out her tongue.
Rarity watched longer. Then Viola actually did something slightly interesting.
The blue unicorn's horn glowed a dull purple and the ball she was playing with flew right in front of her face. The filly reached for the toy, but it hovered just out of her reach and she bumped her chin on the floor. Then she started crying. Rarity quickly picked up the infant and cradled her in her arms.
"Shhh. Its ok baby, its ok." she said in a strangely maternal voice for a pony who never so much as touched a baby before. Rarity levitated a teddy bear to Viola. Viola watched the bear until it gently lowered into her reach. She grabbed it and, like all babies, threw it at the wall. Then Viola started crying again.
"Aww, are you a hungry little girl?" Rarity used her magic to put some water and formula mix in the bottle then shook it. She gave it to the baby who began sucking on it immediately. When the filly pushed it away, Rarity put the bottle back on the shelf. She sat on her rocking chair and burped the baby while rocking slowly. She began singing a gentle lullaby to Viola. The filly fell asleep quickly. Rarity set her on a stack of fabric then swaddled her. She stared at the sleeping infant. She sure was cute, but Rarity couldn't handle this too much longer. She rocked on the rocking chair and watched the baby sleep. Rocked and watched, rocked and watched.
"Well this is boring." she whispered so she wouldn't wake Viola. She sat there, all day, watching the baby sleep and rocking on her chair. Rocked and watched, rocked and watched. Then Bon Bon walked in.
"Hello Rarity."
"Bon Bon? Why are you back so early?"
"Early? its 10 o clock."
"What?" Rarity looked at the clock on her wall. "Oh, so it is."
"Anyways, I just want to pick up Viola. We just need you to take care of her for two more days."
"Well, ok. Why do you need me to foal sit again?"
"Taxes due and Lyra and I have to work 24/7 to get the money."
"Oh, I see. Well here's Viola." Rarity gently picked up the filly and gave her to Bon Bon who held the infant with one arm. "And here's the baby stuff." Marshmallow, I mean Rarity, then gave Bon Bon the bag with the baby stuff. Bon Bon had a little difficulty holding both.
"Thanks." she said as she left the boutique.
"How will I ever get through this?" Rarity asked herself.
When Bon Bon got home, Lyra was already there. Lyra dashed up, took Viola, and quickly went back to the couch.
"Hows my special little girl doing?" she said in the baby talk voice. God that's annoying, how do people stand it?
The two mares held their jobs for the next 2 days, for a total of three days working at the same job. That's a new record! They both worked all day while Rarity took care of Viola. I'm not going to have a more in-depth description of those days, they were all quite boring. The most interesting thing was that one day twins came to Ponyville, so Bon Bon had to do double the work. Eventually, the taxes were due. The two mares were just under the amount of money needed to pay them off. So now, they were homeless. But, the tax dude did say that sense they were so close, that he'd ship their furniture and stuff to anywhere they find to live, for free.
"Well great, what are we going to do now?" Bon Bon asked Lyra who was feeding Viola.
"We find a new place to live, like an apartment or with a friend I guess." she responded not looking up from her little filly.
"The only pony I know who's nice enough to that is Rarity, but she doesn't owe me anymore!"
"We could always ask Twilight."
"Who?"
"Twilight Sparkle, she's the purple alicorn who owns the library. She helped defeat Nightmare Moon AND Discord."
Bon Bon stared at Lyra with a dumb look, she obviously doesn't know who Twilight was.
"My boss."
Bon Bon still had the same face.
Lyra pointed at Twilight's tree/library/house/egghead base/whatever you want to call it. "She lives there."
"OHHHHH, her. So we're going to live in a library? I don't think so."
"Well then where do you say we should live?"
"I think we should live with Pinkie Pie, she always loves company."
"I think that's the most retarded thing ever! Who wants to live in a freaking candy store?" Lyra said slightly agitated by Bon Bon's stupidity.
"Oh, and you think that we should live in a library? I like books and all, but that just plain ridiculous!" Bon Bon raised her voice.
"You know, we wouldn't HAVE to do this if you didn't start using the pay per view channel!"
"You think this is MY fault? I'm not the one who had a freaking baby that we have to spend hundreds of bits on!"
Lyra froze in shock. She looked at Bon Bon. Then her eye started twitching. She reached back, then slapped her 'friend'. Bon Bon put a hoof to her cheek where Lyra slapped her, then got up and ran to Sugar Cube Corner. Lyra got and and trotted to Twilight's house with Viola in her arm.
"Wait, so you and Bon Bon, broke up?" Twilight asked when Lyra arrived.
"Yeah, anyways, I need a place to live for a while." She said in reply.
"All right, I just need to ask a few questions first."
"Ok."
"First, why were you kicked out of your last home?"
"The bills were too high."
"But you tried your best to get the money?"
"Yes."
"Ok, second, will you keep your job as the librarian here?"
"Sure."
"Third, any other ponies going to live with you?"
"Just little Viola here." Lyra hugged Viola to make sure Twilight saw the filly.
"Are you planning on having any other kids or are sexually active?"
"NO!"
"All right, and are you able to pay 75 bits a month for rent?"
"Yes."
"Ok, you can live here."
"Thank you Twilight. Now I'm just going to go to my old landlord, hes going to get my furniture and stuff over here."
"All right. Oh, and while I'm thinking about it, here." Twilight handed (hoofed?) Lyra a small golden key. "This is for the front door if you're ever locked out."
"Ok thanks." Lyra said as she took the key and headed to her old landlord's house. Now, lets see how its going with Bon Bon.
"Hello Bon Bon, how are you doing, why are you here?" Pinkie Pie started asking a ton of nonsense questions I don't feel like going into detail on.
"Hello Pinkie, where's Mrs. Cake?"
"Mrs. Cake went to the grocery store, we need more apples fr breakfast, oh but Mr. Cake is upstairs, second door on your right." and Pinkie started saying more things. God, what is that girl taking, because I got to get me some!
Bon Bon slowly snuck over to the stairs hoping Pinkie wouldn't notice she was leaving. And right as she blinked, Bon Bon ran up the stairs and went to Mr. Cake's room.
Mr. Cake was sitting on his bed reading the newspaper so he didn't notice Bon Bon enter, so she knocked on the wall. Then Mr. Cake heard the noise and put his paper down.
"Oh Bon Bon, how are you today?"
"I'm good sir, but I have a question."
"Yes?"
"Do you have an extra room so I can live here for a while?"
"No, I'm sorry Bon Bon, but we just rented out our last open room to Vinyl Scratch."
"Why?"
"I'm not sure, that girl is kind of secretive, but I'm guessing its for storage."
"Oh crap."
"What?"
"Lyra and I had a fight, and now the probably only place for me to live is with her in Twilight's library."
"Well, you know, you two are best friends, you really should make up."
"I know, but it's just, I." Bon Bon couldn't think of what to say next.
"If you do it means you have to admit that she was right?"
"Yeah."
"Bon Bon, friendships are powerful things, you shouldn't destroy them over some little argument."
"What are you saying?"
"You should go over to Lyra right now and apologize, if it's not too late she might even say that YOU were right."
"Thank you for the advice Mr.Cake."
"Anytime Bon Bon, if you ever need more, just come back."
"OK, bye." Bon Bon said as she went back downstairs. Pinkie Pie immediately started up her random super fast conversation I can barely understand, but are we sure she even stopped, it did seem like she started mid sentence this time. Bon Bon walked past the pink chatter box and left Sugar Cube Corner. She was going to make up with Lyra, hopefully Mr.Cake was right. Now, the first problem in apologizing, where the hay is the library? Oh right, its a tree.
When Bon Bon arrived, she talked to the purple alicorn at the front desk.
"Hello ma'am, how are you today?" she said.
"Good. Hey, do you know where Twilight is so I can talk to her?"
"I am Twilight."
"Oh, so, do you know where Lyra is?"
"Yes, she's setting up her room. Just past the kitchen on your left."
"Ok thanks."
Bon Bon went to the room Twilight specified.
"Lyra?" she asked the seemingly lifeless room. She got a familiar mindless babble in response. "Viola? Where are you, you little munchkin?" Bon Bon started searching for the blue unicorn. When she found Viola, Bon Bon tickled her tummy. The infant pony giggled in that babyish nature. Then the door opened and a cyan unicorn walked in.
"LYRA!" Bon Bon shouted as she tackled her old friend in an affectionate way.
"Bon Bon, what are you doing her?" she asked trying to push Bon Bon off of herself.
"You're right, I'm sorry we fought, it was my fault we lost our house."
"No Bon Bon, it was my fault, I should have used birth control or got an abortion or something."
"No, it was my fault, I insist."
"No, I can't let my friend think its her fault."
"Lyra, it was my fault. Don't deny it."
"Ok ok fine, it's your fault."
"I'm so glad you get me."
"So, you want to move in with me?"
"Sure."
"All right, let me go tell Twilight."
"Ok, I'll rearrange the furniture and set up the room and stuff."
Then Twilight walked in.
"Right on cue as usual." Lyra said and Bon Bon just stared, amazed at the perfect timing.
"Hello Lyra, just checking up on you."
"I was wondering, can Bon Bon move in with me?"
"Sure, but I'll have to double your rent."
"Ok."
And with that, the two friends lost a house, broke up, got a new house, and got together, all in one day. But one question remains, will it get worse for these two?
Just a bit too much whiskey
Finding the father of the filly
Today was a normal day. Lyra woke up around 8 in the morning, fed Viola, started working as the librarian taking a break every hour to check on her baby and get something to drink or use the little mare's room. But, she had no clue what was going to happen. She was sitting at the front desk, just off break, reading a magazine when somepony rang the bell on her desk.
"Oh hello sir, how are you today?" Lyra asked the red land pony.
"Ah just came to check out a few books for mah little sister." the strong looking stallion responded as he put a few books about various things.
"All right sir." Lyra scanned the books and stamped them with a return date and pushed them back to the stallion. "Here you go." she said.
When he turned around, Lyra stopped him.
"Wait."
"Yeah?" he asked confused. Had he done something wrong?
"Do I know you?" Lyra said. He seemed familiar, but her earliest memory of him, besides now, was very foggy, as if something was dulling her senses. Then it hit her. "YOU, oh my Celestia."
"What?" Big Mac asked getting a little worried.
"You, you have to come with me really quick."
"Umm why?"
"I have to show you something."
"Ok then." he said a little suspicious as he followed the cyan unicorn through a kitchen and into someone's room.
"Well, what is it?" he asked when she stopped at a crib.
Lyra picked up Viola and turned around.
"Aww ,cute baby, who's the dad?"
"You."
"WHAT?!" Now he was on full on freaked mode. "HOW?!"
"About a year ago, my friend Bon Bon and I went to the bar. I remember a red stallion of about your build took me to a room there, and uhh, he. Mac?"
Big Mac froze staring at the filly.
"Mac? Umm, are you ok?" Lyra waved a hoof in front if Big Mac's face, no response. She tried everything she could think of to make him respond, each attempt failing. Then the stallion toppled over, not a muscle even twitched. His eyes wide open in surprise. Lyra watched him for any sign of life from the frozen land pony. Nothing, not a twitch, not even a blink! He was like a statue, a very lazy ass statue that likes to lie on it's side. Lyra thought for a second then left the room, she came back a few minutes later and dumped a glass of water onto Big Mac. He jumped up and shouted.
"WHAT THE? Oh, hey Lyra, when did you get here?" he asked.
"Mac, I was talking to you and trying to explain that this is your child!" Lyra answered pointing to Viola. Big Mac froze and toppled over again.
"Ok screw it." then she kicked Big Mac as hard as she could right on the shin. He writhed in pain,
"OHHH CHARLIE HUMAN CHARLIE HUMAN!" he shouted holding his injured leg.
Lyra picked up Viola and put her in front of the stallion's face.
"This unicorn is your child!" she said getting annoyed.
"Ahhhh, son of a gun that hurts!" he said completely ignoring Lyra who then slapped his cheek to get his attention.
"You plus me equals this!" she said pushing Viola closer to the felled red pony.
Big Mac stared at the baby who gooed affectionately and reached a hoof to him.
"Don't freeze on me again!"
"No, no, I'm not frozen, it's just, she is so cute!"
"Yes I know, and you're her father."
There was a slightly awkward silence as this processed in his head. After about half a minute he got it.
"You mean you, and I?" Big Mac began to ask.
"Yes." Lyra answered slightly less annoyed than earlier.
Lyra opened her mouth to say more then stopped. They both stared at each other, Mac was still holding his leg. Neither one had any idea what to say next. What else COULD they say? Finally Mac broke the silence.
"So, whats her name?"
"Viola."
"Hey, is that the bell at the front desk I hear ringing?" he asked after a few more seconds of silence.
"Oh, yeah, I hear it too, I should go check on that." Lyra lied.
Both ponies immediately left the room and went to the main room in the library. Mac picked up the books he came to check out and left while Lyra took up position at the front desk.
Well that went better than I thought!" Lyra thought to herself.
View Online
Just a bit too much whiskey
CMC try to get their cutie marks (big surprise)
Lyra was doing a little bit of computer work to make sure that all the returned books were showed as returned on the library website. It was glitching out on her a little bit, it would not return Rarity's last check out titled Fashion Couture . Don't ask, I'm not good with making clever/catchy names. Eventually she gave up when a little white female unicorn walked up to the front desk.
"Oh hello Sweetie Belle." Lyra said, it was her most favorite customer, if customer were the word.
"Hi Lyra. How are you doing?"
"Good. Oh, TWO books! Are you sure you can read this many in a week?" Sweetie Belle was secretly a very slow reader, had anyone else said this, they'd get a mouth full of magic, literally. She knew Lyra would never say this to be mean though, so she gets our free.
"Yeah, oh hey, whats this?"
"Oh, its a baby monitor, just got it a week or so back."
"A baby monitor? So you have a baby?"
"Yes."
"COOL, can I see it?"
"Sure. Follow me." Lyra went up to Sweetie Belle then led her over to her room. "Right in here." Lyra said as she opened the door. "But be quiet, I just put her down for a nap an hour ago." she said lowering her voice.
The two unicorns went up ti the crib and looked at the baby.
"Shes so cute, whats her name?" Sweetie asked quietly.
"Her name is Viola."
"Do you think we could babysit her sometime?"
"We?"
"Me, Scootaloo, and Apple Bloom."
"I don't know."
"You'd be helping us earn our cutie marks."
"Well, I guess, I could always listen in on you with the baby monitor and come if you need help."
"GREAT, we work at 5 bits an hour per pony per crusader and we will start in half an hour." then the excited little pony darted out of the room and Lyra heard the soft jingle of the bell on the door.
Lyra looked at Viola's sleeping body. She went over to her end of the baby monitor and turned up the mic on it. She doesn't want them making secret plans in there right? Then she went back to the front desk. Exactly half an hour after she said so, Sweetie Belle returned with the rest of the CMC. When I say exactly, I mean EXACTLY. Not even a millionth of a second off. Not a millionth of a billionth of a TRILLIONTH of a second. Ok, so maybe it wasn't perfectly exactly half an hour.
"Hello Lyra, we're here to start babysitting." Sweetie Belle looked up at the cyan mare and smiled.
"Ok, you know where she is, if you have any questions just ask through the baby monitor."
"Ok, will do." the white unicorn said as she led her friends to Lyra's room to take care of Viola.
Everything was going well that day. Nopony tried to steal a book, there were no problems with customers, again, that doesn't seem right, WHATS THE WORD? The CMC never asked any questions, they seemed to take care of Viola very well, every time Lyra took a break to check on them, they were taking better care of the baby than she did. Nothing was wrong, it couldn't get much more perfect. It was well until something on the baby monitor scared away lots of ponies from the library.
"Hey no fair, I want to be in!" Apple Bloom complained
"Oh relax, you'll be in next time." Scootaloo said.
"Yeah Apple Bloom. Besides, you've had more turns than either of us!" Sweetie Belle said.
"But I love doing it!" Apple Bloom complained some more.
"Shut up!" Scootaloo said. "Now lets start Sweetie."
"Ahhh. Ahhhh, ahh, AHHHH. Oh my god. AHHH." Sweetie Belle practically screamed.
"What are you girls doing in there?" Lyra asked through the baby monitor.
"Just moving some furniture." Apple Bloom responded after a few seconds nervously.
Lyra got up and went into the room. She froze in the doorway after opening it.
"What the heck?" Lyra asked hypothetically.
"I told you we were moving furniture." Apple Bloom said.
"But you said you love doing it. This makes no sense." she said looking at the misplaced furniture.
"Well, we think that we might be ponies who help other ponies move and that will be our cutie marks, and we just LOVE earning out cutie marks."
"What was the 'ahh ahh' thing though?"
"These chairs are heavier than you think." Sweetie Belle said sitting on a chair sweating.
"So, you, ok you know what, just don't make any noises that can be taken disturbingly please."
"Ok."
"And PLEASE take care of Viola!"
"Ohh her name is Viola?" Scootaloo asked. "I thought her name was Violin. I was thinking that is such a stupid name!"
Lyra facehoofed then left the room and went back to her job after grabbing a glass of water. Could this day get any weirder? After about 6 hours after they started, the CMC went up to Lyra at the front desk.
"Hey Lyra." Apple Bloom said. "We're done today, so we are gonna go back home."
"All right. Oh here is your pay." Lyra said as she used magic to take 180 bits from her purse and gave 60 to each crusader.
"WOW, this job gets a lot of money, we should keep it!" Scootaloo said staring at her newly earned currency in awe.
"Yeah but it was a bit boring." Sweetie Belle said as she put her money in a satchel she happened to have.
Then the three left, but right before the door closed and Lyra couldn't hear them anymore, two things were said.
"Hey, we should go play spin the bottle!" Scootaloo said.
"YEAH" the other two shouted in unison.
I should probably tell their parents or sisters. Lyra thought to herself. Ehh whatever. Then Lyra started a sudoku puzzle in her sudoku book she bought to pass the time in work. Wait, I wonder if they did anything to Viola? Then Lyra put the book and and bolted to her room and checked on the blue filly. She was ok, just sleeping, not dead, right? Lyra checked her baby over more. Yes, just sleeping. Those girls did good, Viola's belly felt full, she was sound asleep, and had an obviously new diaper on. One thing was for sure, Lyra was not going to hire them again. Not after that little lesbian sounding scare. But seriously, moving furniture? Who does that in someone else's home?
Author's Note
Moving furniture? God, even my sleep deprived mind is questioning itself!
