Chapters Chatper 1 - Flick of the Wrist
My eyes! Boy, did they hurt! And a blinding light in my face didn't help, nor the fact that I was upside down- thanks to a certain princess... Actually, none of it helped.
"I told you already, I was minding my own business, walking out of the Everfree as nonchalantly as possible, then out of no where I got tackled by Skittles. She had me pinned and started questioning me about being a spy and what I was doing. I kindly told her to get off me."
"No you didn't! You said, 'Buck off' and 'Get off me' repeatedly!" Rainbow said rudely cutting me off.
"Yes, well in my defense you didn't ask me out for dinner and a movie. And you really need manners, don't you know it's rude to cut someone off?" I replied with a small grin.
Skittles was blushing but she seemed to be getting angrier by the second.
"Enough! You will not avoid this interrogation!"
Luna was really loud! Oh God my ear drums!.
"Are you ignoring me?"
Boy, did she sound pissed, I figured I had better say something,
"No ma'am, I just have the...er...what's the word...tendency? Yeah tendency, to either forget what to say, or doze off."
I tried not to look her in the eyes.
"Why can't you look me in the eyes and say that?"
"I don't look peo-ponies in the eyes because I was told staring was rude."
The princess almost looked embarrassed.
"Forgive me,"
Yay, sympathy.
"But you must tell me,what were you doing coming out of the Everfree Forest as if you committed a crime!"
I began thinking, am I really being interrogated? All right lies, work your stuff!
"All right all right!! I was walking out of the forest because I was lost and had been in a fight with some wolves a few minutes before. It wasn't really a fight, I ran away when I heard their howling. They caught up to me and I was only able to put one down, if you catch my drift."
I could see the princess looked shocked that I had killed something or was she worried because i almost died? I don't know.
Skittles didn't look amused."
"I would have kicked those wolves' sorry flanks like, BAM, and POW, and swing around back with a, WHAM!"
Rainbow Dash continued the sound effects, punching the air, until the princess stared at her. Rainbow stopped what she was doing and flew down.
"Big talker for a small Pegasus, but I'm sure you can go face-to-face against seven timber wolves,"
Was I starting to believe my own lies... nah, I knew I was just lying to myself.
I guessed I should tell the princess the truth, but Dash was in the way. As soon as Rainbow Dash leaves I'll let Luna know, I thought, but first,
"Who is that pony outside the window, and why is she wearing a blue jumpsuit?"
"That sounds like a Wonder Bolt!"
Rainbow Dash looked at Luna trying to hide her excitement,
" Princess I have to go, I left my uh... stove on."
-Sigh-"Very well Rainbow Dash, but-" Princess Luna wasn't able to finish, for Rainbow had left the building.
Speaking of which, where was I?
"Hey princess, where are we?" Luna turned to face me,
"I will answer your question but first, why did you lie to Rainbow Dash?"
Now I can tell her.
"I had to get you alone for me to tell you something you must hear."
This is going great-wait! Why is she blushing?
"I am flattered, but I'm a princess and your a possible criminal, it would never work." Luna turned her head to hide her blushing face, I just floated there dumbfounded.
Really, this was the first thing that came to mind?
"Anyway, we are in the warehouse that the owner of "Couch and Stuff". Let us use for this interrogation,"
the look on her face was a face of disgust and I had to agree, the place was filthy, I wouldn't have been surprised if there had been rats living in the sofas,
"EEK, a rat!"
She is the princess of the night and its creepy crawlies-wait what is she doing?
"Ow! Hey! Stop it!" Luna was too frightened to realized she was using me like a fly swatter,
"Damn it woman, Quit using me like a bat!"
I was hopeful I had gotten her attention.
"Where did that vermin go?! I will vanquish thee!" Luna shouted slipping into old tongue while she whacked me against anything she thought might be moving.
"Luna calm down!"
]why won't she stop? I'll be turned into mashed potatoes before this is over!
Luna, The Almighty Rat Hunter, vanquished an ebony wood table by throwing a knife which landed inches from my face.
I grabbed the knife with my mouth and tried securing myself to the floor. I hoped when Luna took another swing I'd stay in place. I had no idea what the outcome would be in all this.
Luna took her next swing, it worked! I didn't move and apparently neither did Luna,
Hmm. Must be something to do with magic, I didn't question it. Luna stopped and looked toward me, taking five seconds for her to realize something important.
She released her magic grip allowing me to fall on my back.
"We apologize for using thou as a weapon to exterminate a rat," Luna bowed,slowing changing to the modern equestrian language,"will you accept my apology?"
The Princess of the Night, Luna, was asking me for forgiveness. Royalty asking a criminal to accept her apology? I thought maybe I could tell her the truth now.
"Alright Luna, I'll accept your apology but you must listen to what I have to say and no its not a date." Luna put down her hoof.
"Luna... actually, I'll tell you and your sister the truth later, right now I'm starving." my stomach growled and it began to hurt.
"there is a nice cafe that sells the most delicious cupcakes in all of Equestria, would you like to go there Mr.."
"Cat, Copy Cat, possible criminal." I spoke with an old British accent.
"Well Mr. Cat, would you like to go?" Luna asked giggling slightly
"I suppose I would, I'm sure I'll want to tell you what I wanted to say after we're done eating." Before we stepped out I grabbed my knife.
Never leaving you behind, Sir Stabby.
We stepped out for the cafe, not noticing that a small cloud was following us.
As we made our way to what Luna described to be Sugarcube Corner, I secured my knife to my hoof somehow, "I'm not losing you again, so many people I can't trust." I said.
"Why is this knife so special? It's bent, broken, and chipped, a simple kitchen knife you can find anywhere." Luna said, "Why not a sword or a bow?"
"I'm apparently better with a knife, besides knives are small and compact." I replied.
"Then why isn't your cutiemark a knife?" Luna looked down at my cutiemark, "It's just a simple question ma-"
Luna stopped walking and just stared at my tail, swaying back and forth.
"Luna I would have never expected you to question another's own destiny." I said, slightly suprised.
Luna wasn't budging
"Yoohoo! Luna wake up!" I said in her face.
Nothing.
'I think I broke her somehow, should I move her and wake her up or yell at her to wake up?'
Some time later...
She has been standing there for 15 minutes, not moving and suprisingly not blinking. Just staring at where my tail was before she...broke.
'Alrighty, I'm getting bored and the princess just will not wake up, time to get her to snap out of it.'
And I did the only thing a sane person would do, I slapped her across the face...about 4 times.
"wake! Up! Dang! It!" I said, one slap for each word.
And after the fourth smack to the face, not only did Luna wake up, but I was also tackled by a blue blur and put in a purple bubble.
"Hey what gives?!" I said through the bubble, but I was put under a sleep spell. Being unconscious is rather strange, I saw myself in the bubble rolled up in a ball like a dog."good one, bro" I said...to myself. "I am technically talking to myself, great."
I looked around to find that that Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash were behind my unconsciousness. They seem to be going around Luna, probably trying to look for any other damages cuased. Luna looked confused but gave a stern look, she's talking but I couldn't hear her.
Twilight looked down but was talking to the princess and pointed to me. "I said release him!" Luna yelled in her royal voice, peircing the bubble. Twilight did as she was told and the bubble dispersed, I tried to get up but I remembered im still asleep.
"Stupid unconscious body, be more...er...conscious!"
They must had heard me becuase they looked over. Luna was going to come check on me, but Rainbow kicked me in the head. My unconscious body lost its vision and after of complete darkeness, I woke up to see my breathing yet unmoving body, but I wasn't outside anymore.
I was in the whitest hospital I have ever seen and everything looked fancy so I was obviously in conterlot. Everything in the room I was in made the richest man look like a poor fool. All four walls were detailed with Celestia related things like the sun and such, everything that is suppose to be iron and steel is solid gold and its not even bolted to the floor someone (totally not me) could steal it, the gurneys looked like a six year old beddazled the buck out of them. A doctor walked in to check my pulse, but immediately turned around and left as if he didn't even want to.
'He just...Why would...What kind of doctor doesn't even check on their patients!" I subconscious yell, "What if i was dead? He wouldn't even know, luckly for him I'm not.'
I didn't get a good look at him but he was wearing a very dark blue lab coat, and after a few minutes a nurse wearing the same color came in to actually do the doctors job. She was completely white, white coat, white mane, everything execpt her dark blue lab coat. She smiled as she checked my pulse mabye from seeing a new face, speaking of which, my clothes were still on.
'They aren't even proper doctors! I think!' I complained again
The nurse looked up with a suprised face,then she smiled, and walk out. When she left I felt weak I looked over to see my body moving, "I guess im waking up then, I look ok but I might be a bit drowsy and pissed becuase I got kicked in the head, but hey I'm just my subconscious, I wouldn't know till I'm awake." I dropped to the floor closing my eyes and I opened them to find I was in the bed, no other me, just myself and only myself.
"I believe he is awake, follow me to his room." I presume it was the nurse I saw earlier, I sat up to find Luna and The Mane Six standing in front of the door looking at me, not moving just staring, but Pinkie broke the silence.
"HimynameisPinkiePiewhatsyours?Wantsomecake?Ijustlovecakeit'sdelicoushaveyoutrieditbefore?Idon'tknowsothatswhyimaskeingifyourtriedsome!Wannahaveaparty?Howabouta-" Pinkie didn't stop talking, But Applejack put a hoof in her mouth to get her be quiet. It worked, but now I just heard muffled talking.
"Sorry 'bout that sugarcube, Pinkie here can be a bit...excited. Name's Applejack, nice to meet yah." Applejack said while struggling to keep on hoof on the pink pony's mouth
"There's no need to keep her quiet, I was going to answer her questions." I said in a formal voice, but I didn't make it too formal becuase I might catch "The Rarity".
'Now if I look like Mr.C surely I have his little talent.' I thought, 'So mabye if I get Pinkie I can answer her questions without being interupted or mabye I just wanna show off and melt a brain or two with my sheer awesomeness, who knows.' I mentally strike a heroic pose and shrugged it off.
I close my eyes and focus on my cutiemark and I saw a glimps of Pinkie's and focused on her's. I then pictured my cutiemark becoming Pinkie's and after a few seconds, I heard the group of mares gasp, now knowing my copymark was complete, I had a sudden urge to eat sweets and brush diabetes off like crumbs on a shirt. I opened my eyes to see jaws on the floor, except the nurse's who looked worried some how.
Nobody was moving,then Twilight decided to walk to the furthest corner of the room, face the corner, and began to have a meltdown rocking back and forth saying "two Pinkies" and "Celestia help us".
Before anyone asked if she was okay, I inhaled and gave Pinkie her unlimited barrage of talking,"ImCopyCatbutcallmeCat.YesIwouldlovesomecake.Ifinditratherdelicious.AndnoIdon'tlikeparties.
Only Pinkie was able to understand what I said and she was thrilled when I told her I love cake, but she deflated when I told her I don't like parties.After our descussion, my copymark went back to my normal bland question mark.
"What did you say to Pinkie?" Rainbow Dash was in my face, she actually smelled of skittles, who knew.
I leaned back for personal space, put on a trolling grin, and booped her nose. "I did nothing wrong," Rainbow was rubbing her nose, "I just said I don't like parties."
As Rainbow and I argued as to why I shouldn't say things like that, Fluttershy noticed a cat tail waving back and forth, so she did the only thing a animal lover would do. She started to stroke the cat tail.
"At least I dont look like a le-" I was just about to finsh my insult, but I felt someone lightly tugging on my tail.
I looked back to see Shy with her head tilted to one side, one hoof on her mouth out of curiousity, all while flying and petting my tail.
"Um excuse me but, why are you petting my tail?" I asked, Fluttershy looked up her face started to widen up with adorable shyness and bolted behind Luna trying her best to hide from me.
"Your what?!" The group sounded shocked this time though, Luna wasn't affected.
"Yeah my cat tail, never seen one before or you guys blind?" I asked with sarcasm.
"There is no possible way you can be a pony with a cat tail!" Twilight had a mental hazmat clean up her meltdown instantly and started to exam my tail.
"Actually Miss I am a pony, just a very special one" I told her.
"then what are you?"
"Let's just say I'm special."I told the group.
I Don't Wanna Die Ironically
"What do you mean you're special?" Twilight was about to have another meltdown, I saw it in her purple eyes.
"I don't mean anything I'm just a special pony that doubts you'll meet another like me." She was in my face, I was a bit creeped out so I got out of the hospital bed and was about to walk out and ask the front desk if I could leave.
"And where do you think you're going?" Twilight blocked the only exit. Her mane was frizzy and her smile was Cheshire like.
I looked around to see Luna teleport the group out of the room.
"Thanks, that really helped me!" I yelled hoping that Luna didn't forget about me on purpose.
"You're welcome!" Pinkie shouted back.
'Dang it Pinkie.'
"You can't leave yet, I need to do experiments." Twilight sounded so happy, but to me she sounded like a madman willing to open you up for the benefits of what they call "science".
'Oh wait, that's happening right now!'
Twilight powered her horn and I was dangling in the air, locked in place.
"Think of the benefits Equestria can have, if only we had your talent! And we will after the experiments." Twilight had an insane smile.
'Nope! Nope! So much nope! I'm not being abducted and cut open to learn that they can't have...,' I showed the mental audience my cutiemark in the same fashion one of the TV women show off a brand new car,'...my special talent'
"Yeah, not gonna happen" I focused on my cutiemark and turned it into a Twilight copymark, a surge of magic power started to course through my veins and up to my horn.
It was a painful process.
'Note to self: don't copy powerful ponies, in this case, the princesses'
As I was going though the painful process of regret, Twilight teleported out and came back with her machines. Each one bigger and weirder than the last.
"Now just stay still and this won't be as painful" Twilight began to walk forward holding a piece of machinery that looked like a plunger and a buzz saw combined.
'What type of show has psychopathic ponies? apparently this one!
As the pain receded from my body, I started to charge my magic.
"You can't escape, your magic isn't strong enough." Twilight started to prepare the plunger-saw.
"But yours is." Before Twilight could figure out what I meant I threw one of her machines at her with my magic and Twilight's magical hold on me disappeared, I dropped to the floor rather pathetically and made a dash to door.
As I made my way to the counter I heard Twilight shout, "You'll never get away from me!"
Doctors and patients hiding from the frightening witch called Twilight.
I got to the counter and started to hit the little bell on the counter rapidly, the receptionist was very annoyed.
"What!"
'Jeez lady'
"Well?"
"Huh? Oh right, do I need to sign papers or something in order to leave? I need to get out of here fast!" I was panicking now I could hear Twilight heading to the lobby.
"No you can just leave, Princess Luna said that as soon as you needed to leave, that I should tell you to head to the castle."
The mare pointed behind me I turned around to see the castle at least a few blocks from the hospital.
I turned back and see Twilight turning a corner at least ninety feet away.
'oh no'
"I gotta go, bye!" I ran out the door, sprinting to the castle.
"Get back here!"
"Never!"
Two minutes later
"Must...work on...stamina," I was at the verge of passing out, " At least...I'm...almost...ugh, I'm gonna be sick."
I stopped running to catch my breath, looking behind me my eyes widen with fear and confusion. Twilight Sparkle was no longer following me, and like finding a spider and losing it the next second, I was frightened as to when and where she'll appear.
'W-where did she go?' I was began to look around me making sure nothing was out of place. 'If she gets the upper hand I'm screwed! just gotta make it to the castle.'
With the thought of a stalking purple pony hiding in the shadows pushed to the back of my head, I cautiously made my way to the castle.
Canterlot castle looked kinda like a Disney castle expect the towers that branch off from another with no support, it looked extremely huge. Everything was white, banners of the two princesses hanged in the front entrance, and good chunk of guards were waiting outside standing at attention.
I tried to walk to the entrance and into the castle, but the last two guards blocked my path.
"State your business!" the guard on the left ordered.
"You gotta help me!" I was pleading,"Twilight sparkle is trying to experiment on me!"
"Of course go right in." said the guard on the right.
"Really?"
"No."
"Of course not," I started to hear Twilight laughing from who knows where,"You gotta let me in she's coming to get me!"
"No can do citizen, Princess Celstia ordered that no pony shall enter the castle due to a mishap with two ponies."
I facehoofed myself psychically and mentally
"Okay, lets piece this together," I was very annoyed at this point,"Princess Celestia order a lock down becuase two ponies are causing a disturbance, right?
"Yes sir." Why the guard had a smile on his face I'll never know
"Now, me and Ms. Sparkles are the only two ponies out side, correct?"
"As far as we know, yeah your probably the only two citizens outside...ooohhh." The right guard look at the other to see if he understands.
"oooohhhh, yeah now let me in before I get turned into a science experiment."
The sound of magic was heard, the unicorns began to open the gates with their horns.
"You might want to enter I see Ms. Sparkle coming." said a random guard.
I looked over to see that he was right, the purple ball of insanity is almost here.
ZAP!
'S-she disappeared!' Twilight had disappeared in a matter of seconds
FLASH!
"Hello Mr. Cat, I was starting to worry that you left town. I was just about to let the princess know, but I find you here." Twilight was in my face her smile even wider.
I was frightened, a psycho in my face trying to abduct me into her experiments, but a guard put a spear between me and Sparkle.
"Miss you'll have to stop scaring the citizen." Twilight turned her gaze to the guard. Her mood shifted dramatically from I wanna cut a smile on that face to I will annihilate you, your future, and your past generations.
"But he's my experiment he has to come with me!" Twilight was furious that the guard was trying to separate her from her "work".
The guard was shaking feeling Death breathing on his shoulders and hearing his grandmother calling his name from heaven. "Guard One, I'm here Guard One."
The guard gulped down his last bit of saliva
"Go and talk to the princess, they're in the first room when you enter." the guard knew he wouldn't see tomorrow," Go, hurry!"
The other guards readied their spears and magic walking up to the mare.
I backed up and began to run to the throne room, before I made it to the throne room door i heard of of the guards," Oh Celestia, the pain!"
I opened the door to the throne room, closing it behind me.
On the other side was the remaining elements and the princesses, sitting there staring at me with concern.
"What in tarnation is happenin' out there?" Applejack was the first to break the silence.
"Your element of magic is trying o cut me open!" I had replied in a calmed yet worried tone.
Every pony in the room was trying to sink in the information, until suddenly...
"What?"
What is up my pony friends? I gonna make this as quickly as possible, ready? Go!
I'm putting this on hiatus for awhile, I lost the brony in me and I need to find it back, sorry Bros.
Alright well see ya, be back whenever.
Scrapping it!
unfortunately, my little group of reader, i gotta scrap this story.
I can't think of anything for this and the fight scene is to odd, it's like a black and white french movie.
so again sorry, but i have to scrap this.
this story will be scrapped in 1 day