'Oh shit.' I thought, my eyes widening. 'When someone says that, it means
I'm in trouble. Whatever. Just play it cool.'

"Sup?" I said casually, lifting my hand up and giving a slight wave.

Princess Celestia looked slightly surprised at how I responded, but continued nonetheless.

"Yes, well, like I said, I have heard a lot about you from the reports that Twilight has sent me, and also from my sister, Luna." She stated, walking closer to me. As she got closer, I could see that she was nearly 6 feet tall, easily taller than what I was. "I would, however, like to hear it from you, if it wouldn't be too much trouble."

I sighed. "Look, Princess. I would tell you now, but I really hate repeating myself. I'll just tell all of you when we're in Canterlot."

Celestia cocked her head slightly, as if confused. "What?" She asked.

"I said, I'll tell you when we're all together in Canter-” I stopped mid sentence, as I realised what she had done. I grinned. "You cheeky little fucker." I said, chuckling.

Celestia was smiling as well, but frowned when I insulted her. "Did you just insult me, Princess of all the land, and holder of your fate?" She asked.

"Yep." I said, still smirking. "Whatcha gonna do about it, faggot?"

Her frown deepened, and I thought I had majorly fucked up for a moment. But then, she smiled, and said "It's good to finally see a creature who doesn't fear me enough to actually insult me. You're lucky I have a good sense of humor."

My smile got bigger. "I could tell you were a troll as soon as you did that little 'I'm not gonna repeat myself' thing. I actually thought I went too far when I called you a faggot."

"Well, you might of, if I knew what a 'faggot' was." She said. "Would you mind telling me?"

I nodded, and said "Well, it really depends on what you're looking at. You see, 'faggot' has multiple meanings. The first, and least well known, is a bundle of cigarettes, tied up in a piece of string. The second is a bundle of sticks."

Celestia nodded, and asked "Are their any others?"

I grinned mischievously. "Yeah." I said. "The third is a derogatory slang for a homosexual person."

She looked shocked when she realised what I had said. "Did you just call me gay?" She asked.

At that, I burst out laughing. Hearing the Princess say that was just too funny.

When I recovered, I looked at her and said, "So what do you need to know?"

================

When I woke up, I was startled to see Twilight, and her friends, at the foot of the bed.

I blinked at them. "Shit, did I forget to turn my swag off?" I asked, looking around the room.

"Anthony..." Twilight started, but I interrupted her with; "Because I woke up surrounded by bitches!"

They all looked confused, and Rarity said: "What's a bitch?"

"Shut up, ho." I said, staring flatly at her. This caused further confusion on the girls parts, except for Pinkie, who was giggling throughout the entire thing, and made the situation much more amusing for me. "So what's up, Twi?"

She shook her head, as if to clear her mind. "Um... Well, you've slept in, and we kinda need to leave for Canterlot in half an hour." She said.

I blinked. "Wait, weren't we supposed to leave on Monday or Tuesday?" I asked. Then, realisation dawned on me. "Are you telling me I've been asleep for fucking four days?"

Twilight smiled sheepishly. "No. You've been asleep for a week and a half!"

A look of surprise flashed across my face. "So, I've been asleep for a week and a half?" I asked. The girls nodded. "And did any of you think to wake me up?"

Twilight nodded. "Yeah. We came in here every morning, and tried to shake you awake. When that didn't work, we got Rainbow to bring a cloud inside, and let it rain on you for a few hours. That also didn't work. We were just about to use the Elements, when you woke up."

My eyes widened. "Wait, you were gonna use the most powerful artifacts, in the history of ever, that you've used to banish gods, and turn an almighty being into stone. And you were gonna use them to try and wake me up?"

Twilight looked embarrassed, and a bit scared. "Um... Yeah..." She said, looking down at the ground.

I grinned. "Bitchin'. When are we leaving for Canterlot?"

Twilight looked at me in disbelief. "Wha... Why are you not shouting at me? It was a stupid idea, and I should have realised that. You should be angry at me!"

I stared at her, flatly. "My mum used to do worse." I stated, eliciting a gasp from all of the girls.

"Um... How could she have done worse?" Fluttershy asks. She then gasped again. "You don't mean! She didn't... Hit, you? Did she?"

I look at her, shocked. "Fuck no!" I shouted, startling the girls. "No, she used to tickle me, and stick her fingers in my ears. She never hit me. Although, she did threaten me a lot..." That part was mumbled.

Rarity looked confused. "How is that worse, than possible banishment or imprisonment, darling?"
"That shit fucking annoys me. Seriously. All you needed to do, was tickle me. And call me 'darling' again, and I'll shank you in the leg with Twilights horn." Raritys, and Twilights, eyes shrunk visibly, and she took a step backwards. I held her gaze for a few seconds, before bursting out into laughter.

"You shoulda seen the looks on your faces!" I managed to gasp out between laughs. When I got myself under control, I asked "No, for real, when are we leaving?"

"Right now, silly!" Pinkie said, unfazed by what I said before. "In fact, we're gonna miss the train!" She then started giggling. "Unless we hurry up, we'll have to delay the Princesses another day!" At that, she burst out laughing. Twilight, however, shook her head, and exclaimed "No! We can not keep them waiting any longer! C'mon girls, lets go!"

All of the girls followed her out, but I stayed where I was. This didn't go unnoticed by Twilight.

"Ughh, what is it now, Anthony?" She cried out.

"I'm not a woman." I deadpanned, staring at her.

"Wha..?" She started, before she realised what I meant. "Oh, come on! You now what I mean."

"I'll humour you this time, Sparkle." I said, briskly walking past them. "But do not confuse my gender again, or I will make good on my promise. Except with Rarity being the shank, of course."

Twilight rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Lets just go already!"

As we walked over to the train, I realised something. "Wait, where's Derpy?" I asked the girls.

"She's on her mail-route right now." Rainbow said. "I left her a note, explaining where we're going, and why."

I nodded in approval. "Bitchin'. Well, let's shake a leg, shall we?" I said, as I started jogging towards where I hopped the station was. It wasn't, of course.

"Um, Anthony?" Fluttershy asked, lightly prodding me on the shoulder. "You're going the wrong way."

All of the girls say that I mumbled something like 'always fucking happens', but I'm sure they were just high.

Anyway, we got to the train, and boarded, with but a little trouble concerning the conductor, who was shouting something like 'Mutant hairless Diamond Dog' and 'kill it with fire', but I wasn't really giving a shit.

The train started moving shortly afterwards, and nothing really that major happened. (AN: I hate fillers. They can go die. Trains are boring).

================

We arrived in Canterlot a few hours later. During hose few hours, I found a nice spot to just chill, and listen to some music. When we got off at the station, I held my hand up, stop the girls, and started sniffing the air.

Twilight sighed. "What are you doing, Anthony?" She asked.

I ignored her. "Why does it smell like incompetence and arrogance in here?" I asked.

To which, to my surprise, Rarity answered. "Because it's full of politics and nobles, darl-" She caught herself before she could finish, upon noticing the look I was giving her.

"Fuckin', really?" I asked, my voice dripping with annoyance and dread. "Well, we better make a run for it. I hate these kinds of people."

"Nonsense, Anthony!" Rarity said, with a light laugh. "These ponies are actually very nice, if you just got to know them."

"Well, ain't I glad that's never gonna happen." I said, as I walked through the doors. Upon doing so, I saw literally hundreds of the nobles. I turned to Twilight, and said "Teleport us to wherever it is that we're meeting the Princesses."

"I can't just teleport into their throne room!" She said, almost looking shocked. "What if they're in a meeting with some important ponies from another country, or discussing top secret plans for the country, or-"

I put my hand on her mouth, to silence her. "That wasn't a question." I said, looking into her eyes.

She nodded fearfully, and her horn lit up.

Suddenly we appeared in a large room, with a gold trimmed red carpet leading from a set of massive double-doors, to two thrones, (one was slightly bigger than the other), which were currently unoccupied. There were brilliant tapestries all over the walls, along with elegant stained glass windows.

I however, was too busy feeling sick to notice, or care, about these things. I think I was mumbling something about how I was never going to do that again, but I can't remember.

All of a sudden, a white light shone down from above the thrones, bathing the larger one. A large white pony, with wings and a horn, descended down from above, moving slowly. This was none other, than Princess Celestia. At that point, all who were witness to this spectacle, could swear they had heard a choir singing somewhere. When she landed, which she did carefully and elegantly, she walked forward, until she stood directly in front of us. She then flared her wings, broke out into a huge toothy grin, and said

"'Sup, bitches?"

Author's Note

What!? It's back?!

I know I said I cancelled it, but after a long, long think, I realised that I couldn't have abandoned his story, especially when it's so early on! Anyway, I plan on making it a lot, and I repeat, A LOT, more sillier than last time.

Also, updates will be less frequent, as I don't have a writing schedule, or an editor. So this should be fun!

Thanks to y'all who stayed around, and I hope you enjoy!