Hello? Is anypony out there?Anygriffon, anytaur, anyling, anyone? This is Rainbow Dash, signing on. Don't touch that dial.

Maybe you've heard of me, maybe you haven't . Rainbow Dash, greatest jacker who ever lived. I've surfed the Mainstream, seen the Lost Servers, stolen from every corp you've ever heard of and a few you haven't and they never saw the tip of my tail. I've seen things to make your coat stand on end and done things that'd chill your mods.

I broke the world. My bad.

No really, you know how all your uplinks are timing out right now, even the dedicated ones. That was me. And, I mean, its not like I meant to bring down centuries of computer architecture, hell, I make my living on the Net. I would've rather turned myself in if I'd known what I was getting into, back then. That doesn't make what I did any better.

Now I'm stuck on a space station with two weeks of oxygen left and there's not a ship on Equus that can get here without a working data system. I've got nothing better to do with the rest of my very short life, so I'm going to be broadcasting what really happened on this channel for the next two weeks, nonstop inside scoop, straight from the horse's mouth herself.

This was the biggest job I've ever pulled, maybe the biggest job ever pulled, and, Sisters damn it, I want somepony to know it.

Rainbow Dash, signing off.

Don't touch that dial.