Chapter One: The MOD

Squelch, Squelch, Squelch... a cacophony of Squelches was the sound on everypony's mind, like an endless drone as the populace moved through the town. Everywhere you went the noise would follow you like one of those really warm wet farts that seem to stick to the clothes you wear.

Oh yes indeed...

But that was just something one got used to in this place, it had become a sort of theme music akin to Send in the Clowns. It was odd to think of it this way, perhaps it would have been better to say it was a heartbeat but to be honest it would surprise anyone to think this place even had a heart.

It was a bleak morning, like any morning here! Near the edge of town by what some called the Training Ground, or the Murder Hole by others, a more than usual activity was taking place. The area was even more squalid for the fact that the lowest ranking dwelt there, the shacks were even more... shackie.

"You!" He declared, his coat a very dark black grey and his mane and tail black. "Stand at attention or you'll get the brick again!"

The new mare straightened, her fellow recruits standing to each side of her doing the same. The stallion stalked around the three new recruits with a merciless glint in his harsh blue eyes, his voice was course and rough definitely cockney in origin while being both brutally sharp and blunt.

"This ain't some summer retreat for piss artists, this is the real deal! One wrong step and you could find yourself in a ditch without a decent burial! Get used to the idea that you're already dead maggots... or at the very least horribly mutilated! For here in B0NER we take no chances!"

He had this habit of speaking in a near constant shout, his lips usually located a bear inch from a victim's ear. The recruits would have rolled their eyes at his obvious words but they were too rattled by the volume that exploded in their ears like an atomic bomb every time he spoke.

"I ain't got time to hold your hoof when the war eventually comes so you better learn something quick or I'll deck ya one with mister brick here!" He held up the brick, they all looked to it wearily, it had become something akin to the grim reaper, already seven recruits had lost their lives to it, which explained why only three were alive.

"Sir Yessir!!!" The three recruits chanted, nearby the already initiated watched the procession while drinking beer and eating potato chips from those non-biodegradable bags that littered the town.

"Shuttup!" He snapped, his irises shrinking insanely. "I have no patience for scum like you, even mister brick here can't stand you!" He held up the brick once more. "Isn't that right?"

"Yur damn right there Styg!" The dark colored pony's lips moved slightly as he mimed for the brick in a voice slightly higher in pitch but more slurred as if drunk. "I say get rid of them now, save the trouble!"

"Sounds like a plan General Brick!" Stygian, the pony with the roar for a voice nodded. "But if I went round killing every one of these mugs we'd have no one left to hit in the future!"

"Gosh! Yur right! Didn't think of that!!!" The Brick responded.

"That's why I'm the Minister of Defense!" Stygin growled, his eyes returning to the recruits.

The recruits had that worried grimace plastered on their faces that symbolized perfectly the fact that they stood now in the presence of a psychotic maniac with less heart than Hannibal the Cannibal on a stressful day. They managed to keep their cool however and keep their eyes fixed somewhere ahead of them.

"Where was I?" Stygian muttered to himself. "Oh Yes!"

He marched over to the tallest, who began to shake with some fear. Stygian stared down the recruit, it was something he did often, a character building activity he called it, or as every other pony called it Fear Tactics. Slowly and with meaning Stygian's left iris shrank more than the right.

"I don't like you," He stated.

"Yessir!" The massive stallion recruit squeaked.

"Are you eyeballing me!?"

"Nossir!"

"Mister Brick doesn't like eyeballers!" The brick slowly rose into the recruits view, held aloft by a dark hoof. "In fact he takes affront to it."

"Yur damn straight!"

"Sorry Sir!" The recruit attempted.

Stygian sighed and walked away to stand somewhat before them, muttering incoherently under his breath as he did. "Right!" he spun. "Tomorrow you'll be learning how to properly rig and attach a suicide vest to an unconscious pony... this is mandatory like any of our lessons and thankfully one of you has volunteered to be our guinea pig."

The recruits looked at each other uncertainly, none had volunteered at all.

"What are you all standing around for!" He snapped. "There's toilets to be cleaned!"

With a groan they all saluted and left, ambling towards the public rest rooms. Stygian shook his head and groaned, he had little respect for these newbies, so young and soft. At least the majority of the army had a straight head on them being older and more grumpy... another way of saying they were banished war criminals.

He nodded to one of his more able soldiers, who rolled his eyes and made to follow the young recruits to keep an eye on them.

With that his Military job for the day was done, meaning it was time to go speak to the boss.

"Sigh..." Stygian spoke with little enthusiasm.

Author's Note

Stygian is an OC character I designed both from many of my own personalities as well as this old sergeant I knew and met in a pub/bar (Crazy guy who liked to line up empty beer glasses and yell orders at them)