The Not So Interesting Life Of Linoleum.

   The tub wasn't the most comfortable place to sleep, but when you spend most of your days sleeping on the prison cell cots, you develop a skill to be able to sleep on most anything. So, yes. I got a good nights sleep.

   I woke up this morning, surprising to me, knowing where I am and to a different kind of pounding. Not the pounding of a hangover within my thick skull, but to the pounding of the door. I groggily got up to my hooves and unlocked the bathroom door, opening it to reveal a sloppy maned Octavia. Her facial expression showed pain (probably due to a hangover) and tiredness. Without saying a word, she walked in, pushed me out, and shut the door.

   I shrugged and made my way towards her bedroom door so I can leave and get a head start at sealing my record so no pony else can ever beat it. I braced myself for the 'wubs' from last night and creaked open the door. Luckily, the loud beats were no longer blasting throughout the household. I made my way towards the from door, only to be stopped by a very... Tomboyish, per se, voice. "Hey, where do ya think you're going?" The voice said. 'Obviously this is her roommate, and the pony responsible for almost blowing out my eardrums.'

   I turned around and saw a white unicorn with a blue mane highlighted with different shades of blue cut rather short. She was sporting a pretty cool, purple pair of goggles over her eyes, causing me to wonder what was behind them. She was walking towards me, shaking her rump a bit more then she needed to.

   "To the bar to get drunk so I can meet Officer Justice again." I answered, turning to open the door.

   But, jut as I did, she put a hoof on the door and got in y face with a smile on her lips. "Oh no, you're staying here."

   I pushed her back gently and corrected, "No, no I'm not."

   She got even more in my face. "Yes you are."

   I got in HER face more. "No. I'm. Not."

   We were very close to each others faces when she planted a kiss on my lips. My eyes shot wide as she leaned into me. Her tongue, much to my surprise, entered itself into my mouth and explored around. I wasn't really doing anything, how shocked I was.

   Now, this mare wasn't ugly by any means. In fact, she was just about as beautiful as Octavia. That said, I'm no womanizer. I don't go around, try to bed every mare I see. Also, I haven't done mare in a long time, so the fact one was throwing her self at me who WASN'T drunk, left me dumbfounded.

   She withdrew herself from invading my mouth, and licked her lips. She, her nose touching mine, said, "Yes. You. Are."

   Now, I'm not one to argue, so...

   Just as she finished, Octavia came into the room. "Oh, so I see you met Vinyl." She said.

   "Uh..." Was all I could articulate.

   "Yes, yes he has," she answered for me, backing off. I saw Octavia still had a pained look on her face, but at least her mane was better.

   "Good, one less thing for me to do. Lets eat breakfast," Octavia said.

   I followed her to their kitchen, Vinyl in close pursuit. After some quick preparation, we were fed like kings with wonderful bowls of cereal bad, for Octavia, a lot of water. I ate slowly, as Vinyl was doing some... Interesting things with the milk in her cereal. "Vinyl, stop. You're making him uncomfortable." Octavia demanded.

   "Oh, I can make him comfortable," she said, winking at me, causing me to almost choke on my food.

   Octavia rolled her eyes. "Enough, Vinyl. Really."

   Vinyl sighed and said a very exaggerated "Fine."

   The rest of breakfast was silent. Octavia broke it after cleaning up the empty bowls of cereal and glasses of water. "Linoleum, I'm sorry for last night. I was acting too... Forward. I'm sorry."

   I waved her off. "It's fine. You were drunk, anyway."

   "Uh, no I wasn't."

   What?

   Wait... But... Doesn't she have a hangover? Or is the 'pain' look just from regret from last night?

   "Wait, you WEREN'T drunk?" I asked, surprised.

   She sighed. "No, it's just that Vinyl here told me to be for forward with stallions. She told me that I shouldn't always act like a lady to stallions."

   Of course that mare would say that...

   Said mare was wearing a wide grin.

   I shrugged. "Well, at least you didn't do anything you'd regret in the long run."

   "Wait," Vinyl interjected, "You two DIDN'T have sex last night?"

   "Uh, no. I thought she was drunk, and I don't do drunk mares. I would never even think of taking advantage of a mare." I answered.

   Octavia seemed to smile a bit from that.

   Vinyl, on the other hand, sagged in her chair.

   "Well, if that is all, I guess I'll be heading off," I said, getting up.

   "Oh no!" Octavia quickly said, getting up and rushing in front of me. "I was serious last night. You ARE staying here."

   "Dammit..." I mumble under my breath. "Do I have to?"

   "Yes." Octavia answered. "Plus, you still have to repay me for buying you that violin."

   Vinyl then said, "I know a few ways you can do that."

   Octavia glared at Vinyl, before looking back at me. "But today, you WILL get settled into this house," she said, forcefully.

   Celestia, I always get the crazy mares...

   I rolled my eyes. "You really can't force me to do anything."

   She tilted her head at me. "I'm giving you a free place to stay and be provided for, and you won't take it?"

   "I cannot in good conscience."

   "Why not?" She asked.

   "I'd feel like I'm taking advantage of you." I answered.

   Now she rolled her eyes. "I assure you, it won't. Now, follow me to your room." She said.

   With a sigh, I followed her.

   'This is going to be interesting...'

*********

   She led to to a plain room with only small, one pony bed in it and a night-stand on the side. I saw the violin on top if it. 'How'd that get there?'

   "This is your room," she said, giving me the 'grand tour'.

   "Beats a prison cell," I said. "That reminds me, why would you even trust me knowing I've been to prison X amount of times."

   "I could tell you aren't a bad stallion." She answered. "When I talked to you yesterday at the bar, I could tell you meant well."

   "I can't see that..." I interjected. She just continued.

   "Plus, you're pretty handsome," she said, stepping closer to me.

   I rolled my eyes.

   A point to mention, I am a dark green earth stallion with a weird, brown, spiked mane.

   Yea, I'm not the most handsome stallion of them all...

   "Yea, I'm about as handsome as a manticore." I replied to her.

   She stepped even closer. "Hey, I'm telling you," her face was right in my face, nose almost touching mine. I don't really like this, as the last time, I was practically molested by a pretty mare. "You are wonderfully handsome."

   I replied with, "Well, you're a beautiful mare, but I don't say anything about it."

   Just as I said that, THIS mare attacked my mouth, kissing me much the same as Vinyl did. Her tongue attacked my mouth with vigor, as I, not feeling as shocked as I did with Vinyl because I completely expecting this, entered her mouth with my tongue. Our tongues were battling for dominance in the little space that was our mouths. Then I felt her hoof traveling down to my more private parts. I pulled away. "Uh, Octavia. I know you may want to do this and all, but we just met. I'm not sure I can do anything like that."

   "Linoleum, I want to do this. Yes, I just met you, but I feel that you are the best stallion I have ever met."

   I snorted. "I've been to prison 32 times."

   "And I'm sure there's a reason to every time!"

   "Because I feel like getting drunk everyday."

   "And why do you do that."

   I turned away from her and shut my eyes. "Well... I rather not say..."

   "You don't have to! Just realize that I want you!"

   We then heard a snort coming from the door. "Dude, just do her already!" Vinyl demanded.

   I blushed, as did Octavia, as we pulled away from each other. Vinyl sighed. "Celestia, Octavia! You're NEVER getting laid!"