The first thing I thought when I stepped into my new reality was that I'd messed something up. I mean, it looked like ponyville; the whole place was technicolor, and I knew for a fact that I was standing in front of town hall, but... they were all human. I could see Lyra sitting on a nearby bench with Bonbon, talking about something or other, and Rarity was talking excitedly to a demure Fluttershy as she sipped her tea at a cafe. Applejack was calling out something about apples in front of her stall, and Big Macintosh was leading a horse-drawn cart with apples in the back to refill her stock. Even Twilight and Spike were nearby, as she pointed a wand at a small bluebird sitting on a short table while he ate from a basket of fries. Their hair colors were right, and they had patches on their pants showing their cutie marks, but... they were all human.
And they were all white, too.
...Did not expect myself to be racist. I'd apologize, but... I never knew. Never treated anyone differently as far as I knew because of their skin color... did I?
Whatever. Rule number one, take a hike until I fix this.
I drew my calm in, closed my eyes and slowly waved my hand from left to right in front of my face. When I opened my eyes again, the scene looked almost the same, except with ponies: Rarity was now holding a tea cup of her own in her blue aura of magic as she spoke to Fluttershy, Applejack was rearing up and calling out proudly as Big Mac himself pull the cart to a stop next to her, and Twilight finished casting her spell and turned the bird orange as Spike choked on a hay-fry. Lyra and Bonbon were a bit different, though, as Lyra sat in the fashion she'd sat in the show and Bonbon was now shaking her head at something.
The key difference, though, was that I was now seeing things from a slightly lower angle. I looked down, and realized that I was suddenly standing on three legs, my right arm/leg still out in front of me. I'd become an orange pony, and a quick look at my back revealed wings. I didn't even have to look up at my forehead to know I'd made myself an Alicorn. But of course I would. I mean, they're kind of like gods themselves, right?
But I didn't like it. I'd changed everyone into ponies, and I'd forgotten to remove myself from that equation. I shook my head, but stopped and chanced a look at my flank. Why not, am I right?
Blank as the day I was born. Figures.
Whelp, being an Alicorn wouldn't help me fit in, but-
Wait, why not be an Alicorn?
...Because that'd ruin the whole point of why I'm doing what I'm doing. I'm not here to be a god, I'm here to possibly learn something about living normally. I can't do that as a super-powered being, or at least as an obviously super-powered being. I need to be normal.
So with that thought, I waved my hoof a second time and stood up at the same time. Just like that, I was a human again, wearing some casual clothes. No, they don't matter, and no, I'm not describing myself. I'd prefer if you didn't know what I look like, alright? I mean, if you care, make me a standard white teenager with average complexion and fair hair, wearing whatever the heck t-shirt and pants you can think of. We good? Good.
Unfortunately, the ponies and I were not good at that particular time. You see, a few moments ago I'd been an orange Alicorn. That alone had gotten me a few stares I hadn't noticed, but nobody had cried fowl because I was at least still an equine. Suddenly turning into a human? Yeah, that didn't end too well.
Suffice it to say, everybody's attention drifted to me as the square got quiet. Nobody spoke, and even the orange bluebird gave me it's full attention.
"Fine, great, I'm totally obvious and everybody is staring at me again." I fumed, glaring around at them. "How about everybody goes back to what they were doing and pretends I'm normal? How about that?"
So everybody got back to what they were doing and pretended I was normal. Just like that. Almost like...
Like I'd forced them to. Damn it.
"...No, no, I'm weird and I know it. I'm sorry. I'm trying to stop. You can stare at me if you think you should. Act naturally to this situation, ok?" I said with a slight force of will. Then I mentally focused and reigned in my power, like I should have done the moment I'd finished changing myself back into a human.
Maybe I should discuss my power, answer a few questions before I forget. First and foremost, I'm not invincible, and I'm not all-powerful unless I act first, especially when dealing with other reality benders. My influence radiates out from me like an aura, and not even other benders can alter things within that aura. I can make it skin-deep, or I can cover a whole city in it, depending on what I'm going for. There isn't really a limit to it unless I put one, and I learned the hard way that it's well within my capabilities to completely screw up the laws of reality if I don't. The problem is that I have to concentrate to not change something when it's in my aura, so unless I'm going balls to the wall crazy with my power, I can...
Let's just say I accidentally nuked a city once. Took me the scariest hour of my life to figure out how to manipulate time to bring it back the way it was, and then another to figure out how to make people forget what had happened without blowing up everything else. I'd screwed up smaller things before, like houses or street layouts when I'd forgotten what something was supposed to look like, but... that little mistake had led me to trying out Equestria as a testing grounds to try to stop breaking things. Speaking of, a whole bunch of ponies were staring at me again.
"Uh, hi." I said with a little wave. "My name is..."
Time Stop.
What did I want them to call me, anyway? Steve? Larry? Alex? Maybe something with a little more local flavor? I rubbed my chin and thought about it for a moment or two.
Time Start.
"Bob."
Time Stop.
WHY THE F*** DID I GO WITH BOB?
Time Start.
"But my friends call me Tim the Enchanter. I guess I have a few other names, too, but Tim is fine. Anyway, how's life?"
Out of everyone in the entire square, the first pony to speak up was one I didn't know from the show or anywhere else. She was an Earth Pony with a grey coat with an amber mane, and her cutie mark was a wrench. She asked the obvious question:
"Weren't you an Alicorn just a moment ago?"
Out of all the questions, and all the ponies who could have asked, it had to be the obvious question from somebody who probably didn't matter. Swell. I was already making great waves in my own little universe, meeting key people and-
"Yeah. Yeah I was. Now I'm a human. How's your day been, anyhow?" I asked, gesturing at her.
"Uh, not bad." She answered. "I just got done adding a new room to my house, and now I'm just coming in to eat lunch."
"Nice." I said with my "Not Bad" face. "Mind if I join you? I'm buying."
"Uh, sure." She said, and the entire square watched as I walked over towards the cafe and motioned for her to follow me. I even held the door open for her as we went inside.
I figured, why not make her the most important pony in the entire universe because she spoke up first? Could I pull that off without my powers? Either way, it wasn't like I had any idea what I was supposed to be doing, except being normal. Maybe if I stuck around with normal ponies, then I wouldn't get caught up in whatever weird things my new universe would throw at me. Maybe I'd learn what everyone else felt like when they couldn't just fix whatever was happening in an instant. Not that I did that all the time, mind you; being perfect is perfectly boring. But still, changing the odds to always favor me meant that others had to lose. Plus people who figured out what I could do always got angry at some point and-
Never mind. The real reason was that I was bored and had decided to start my journey by screwing around rather than get to hanging out with the Elements of Harmony like I was probably supposed to, learning about friendship and being normal despite having awesome power.
Now, let's tempt both fate and the universe both: What's the worse that could happen?
...No, seriously. I'm practically a physical god. What really COULD happen?
...Rule number one could happen. FML.
Author's Note
So, this is more or less chapter one. I'm writing this by the seat of my pants, so expect random things. Like deciding that the only pony I started this scene by not even mentioning is now possibly important.
You can actually SEE where I made that decision in my writing.
There will probably be ninjas, pirates and robots at some points in this little project when I don't think of other stuff.
Anyway, I'll probably write some more tomorrow. ALL THE THUMBS DOWN ARE EXPECTED! DO YOUR WORST!
What's-her-name the grey Earth Pony entered into the Cafe, the Cafe Noir, and I followed in behind her. The cafe walls were a smooth blue, with a few pictures of city skylines, open fields at night and one of Castle Canterlot from below, in stark contrast to the otherwise colorful furniture and ponies that were scattered about the room. I made sure to keep my aura close, under my skin, just in case we moved close to any customers. Surprisingly, I didn't get all that many stares after they'd sized me up. Maybe they were just unfazed by other kinds of creatures in this world?
We got in line. It wasn't long, but there'd be a moment to chat.
"So..." I began, stretching my arms over my head, "What's your name, anyhow?"
"Crescent Wrench. You said your name was Bob?" She replied, eyeing me warily.
"Tim," I said with half a wave. "Let's go with Tim."
"So, Tim... what are you?"
"A human. Well, technically I'm a 'type green' reality bender, but I was born a human."
"Ah," she said with a nod, pretending that I'd made sense. "So... what are you doing here?"
"I dunno. Figured I'd come in, make some friends, learn what it means to be normal and then go home. I didn't really set up a plan or anything." The line moved forward and a black pegasus stallion with a steaming cup of coffee for a cutie mark began taking the next couple's order. "Ah, we're next. What are you ordering?"
"Hmm..." Cresent hmm'd, looking over the menu above the cashier. "I think I'll go with the cucumber salad. You?"
"I don't eat." I said blandly.
"Uh... OK. Why not?" She asked, squinting at me.
I raised an eyebrow at her and... stopped. Normally it was because I'd just pull a feast out of thin air when I wanted to taste good food, and I could sustain myself without it, but that was before I'd told myself I wanted to be more normal. "Actually, I think I'll just have whatever you're having. I was joking before. Ha ha?"
She shook her head and stepped forward as the couple in front of us went to go wait for their food. "Hey Cream. Two cucumber salads, with Caesar salad dressing on the side."
"Hey Crescent. How's the upgrades coming along, anyhow? Oh, and what'd you want to drink?" Cream, I guess, asked, focusing on the grey earth pony.
"I'll have a glass of milk. What'd you want, Tim?" She asked, looking up at me. Cream followed her gaze, and did a double take.
"Wait, where'd you come from?" he asked, jaw hanging a bit open. "I mean, uh, what'd you want to drink?" A moment later, he did another double take. "Wait, what? Crescent, do you know this guy?" he asked, hooking a hoof over the counter at me.
I folded my arms and raised an eyebrow while Crescent answered him. "Not really. He just showed up in town, and now he's buying me lunch, I think." She looked up at me. "I... just kinda went with it," she said with a shrug. "Free lunch, right?"
I unfolded my right arm and waved it over the counter. Twenty five golden bits fell from my hand, tinkling as they landed. That'd probably cover our meal, and ti- Damn. I'd just paid for lunch out of thin air, after I'd told myself I wouldn't use my powers. But... maybe that'd be OK for a while. I'd already told her I'd pay, right? Besides, I need to have a chance to make money before I can be expected to actually stop making it out of thin air. I chalked it up to something I'd just worry about later. Still, it'd be a hard habit to break just making money appear...
"Keep the change." I told him, folding my arms again. "That covers us, right?"
"Uh, yeah," He said, sliding the coins off of the counter with a hoof. "What'd you want to drink, Mr...?"
"Tim. Just Tim. I'll have a water, unless you have root beer."
It was Cream's turn to raise an eyebrow at me. "Isn't it a little early in the day to be drinking? And no, I don't think we have 'Root Beer.'"
I rolled my eyes. "It's a kind of soda. I think it was called Sarsaparilla or something before-"
"Ooooh," he said, realization dawning, "are they calling it 'Root Beer' somewhere or other? Yeah, we have Sarsaparilla. Did you want that in a chilled glass, or with ice?"
"Whatever." I said with a wave. This was getting boring. "Should we sit wherever, or...?"
"Come on," Crescent said, leaving Cream to write down our order. "I normally sit over here."
Crescent Wrench led me to a table in the corner, where you'd be able to get a good view of the rest of the cafe. I sat in a wooden chair with my back to the wall, she with her back to the restaurant. Who was she, anyway? I hadn't seen her in the show before. I mean, I had just created this universe loosely based off of a TV show a few minutes ago, but still. Where'd she come from? Did this happen every time I did something with my power, just stuff and people popping up to cover my tracks? Why-
"Are... you ok?" Crescent asked, de-railing my train of thought. Her brow was knitted, but... I didn't know whether or not she was upset, concerned or just confused.
"Yeah. What, do I look sick?" I ask. I don't normally draw my arua any closer than my skin, because as long as it's outside my body, I can become bulletproof at a moment's notice. If I realize that I need to be.
"No, you're just... staring really intently at me, is all."
"Oh. I'm just wondering where you came from."
"Sooo... aaaask?" She drew the words out, flipping her hoof over at me.
"Right. So, Crescent Wrench..." I start slowly, then stop. It's another awkward silence among the very many I've already caused since arriving. Turns out, I have no idea where to start. Family? Work? Cutie mark? What do people normally talk about?
She waves her hoof in a kind of "go on" circle motion.
"...where'd you... come... from? I guess?" I ask slowly, palm up with a shrug. From her face-hoof, I think it's really obvious that I have no idea what I'm doing.
"Ok. I was born and raised here in Ponyville, where I've been almost all my life. Mom and dad encouraged me to get my hooves dirty whenever I could, especially to help them out working in their carpentry, but I always wanted to make things a little more complicated than just- I mean, I wanted to make things that moved. I wasn't too good at it, at first, but practice makes perfect..."
She goes on to tell me how she always found things wrong with her little innovations, and how she'd always work to make an original design better. Her real specialty came forward when she started breaking things; more so even than making her complicated little toys, she liked to fix things that were broken. I could practically feel the excitement she had when she told me how she first discovered clockwork, and-
And something was wrong. I'd been so interested in Crescent's story that I'd completely stopped paying attention to the coffee shop. Or were we in a cafe? It didn't matter. Crescent Wrench and I were completely alone. She kept building up her story, working towards the day she got her cutie mark, but I'd stopped listening. Was that rude? Stop, focus, find out-
Two guards entered the door, and stood to either side of it. A moment later, Princess Celestia entered the building in all her glory: Seven feet tall, white as marble and half as brittle, with her ethereal mane ever flowing in an invisible wind. Her eyes found me in an instant, and she looked me over, studied me. I'd try to describe what she saw, but again, it wouldn't matter. Not after we spoke, it wouldn't.
"...and then, when I put the gears back together with my favorite wrench, I knew that I'd found my true calling!" Crescent continued, as oblivious to her surroundings as I had been, food practically untouched. "So I guess it wasn't really any surprise when mom came in to check on me, and she saw that I'd gotten my cutie mark while working! Oh I was so excited that... Uh, Tim? What's wrong?"
Crescent finally realized that I'd stopped paying attention, and she followed my eyes over to Celestia, who was now smiling at her subject's story. If I hadn't been keeping an eye on Celestia, then I might have seen Crescent's eyes go wide and her pupils shrink to pinpricks before she threw herself out of her chair and to the floor to prostrate herself before her Princess. "Your, your Majesty!" Crescent whispered reverently, "I'm so sorry that I didn't notice you before!"
"It's of no consequence, my little pony. Rise, and let your Queen see you!" (Uh, Queen, I guess?) Celestia spoke broadly, with a smile. How do you speak broadly? I dunno, it was like she spoke to the entire empty restaurant, even though her focus was on Crescent Wrench. I say her focus was on Crescent Wrench because I was absolutely positive that she wasn't concentrating on me, not with how much effort I'd put into trying to hide myself in plain sight.
The moment I'd realized what was going on, I'd made myself bulletproof. While Crescent had been distracting the Princess, or Queen, I'd been adding defenses to myself mentally: Fire, Sun-fire, Ice, Darkness, Light, Magic in general, Thumbtacks, everything with a color-
Let's just say that I made myself impervious to everything that I could think of. It helps me to think of random things when I'm building up my defenses, because it leaves me protected even from the stupid and inane things you wouldn't expect to be hit with. It did a number on my ability to focus, but if being scatterbrained was the price of safety, then I'd pay it.
The final defense I'd thrown in was a super camouflage. I'd combined actual invisibility alongside theoretical invisibilities from other places I'd been; everything from active camouflage from Metal Gear to that Chameleon Tonic from Bioshock, plus a healthy dose of "Don't Notice Me" from wherever. Was it ridiculous? Absolutely. Did it work?
"Your Highness," Crescent couldn't tear her eyes from Celestia's own, "Why are you here?"
Aw crap.
Celestia's smile didn't falter. She didn't even flinch. She just looked up at me, and then back down at Crescent. If I'd tricked her, even for a moment, then it didn't show. "Everything in due time, my little pony. If you would kindly step outside for a moment, Ms...?"
"Cresent Wrench, Your Majesty." She replied, still standing in awe. A moment later, she did a double take and realized what the Princess(?) had asked. She looked at the ground and made her way around the white Alicorn, then past the two guards she'd brought in with her. I barely noticed as their gold armor followed Crescent out, shutting the door behind them.
I was alone with one of the strongest creatures in this entire universe. Oh joy.
Celestia's smile vanished, and I found myself on the receiving end of a scowl that made my skin crawl. To be honest, I've never realized just how scary she was until that moment. Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight? I had a feeling I was about to.
"Tim, was it?" Celestia almost whispered, voice as cold and unforgiving as steel. "What, precisely, are you doing in my world?"
I'm going to be honest, I felt like wetting my pants. Remember how I'm a reality bender? I sure as heck didn't.
"Uh, I was just stopping in. I thought I'd, uh, learn what it would be like to, um, not, uh, be super powerful. I've screwed up, I mean really screwed up, and I think I need to stop or, I mean-" I fumbled my words not sure how to say what I was up to. "Uh, why'd she call you Queen?"
Celestia's face didn't move for several seconds as she just watched me, and even her mane's flow seemed to slow to a crawl. I wanted to squirm, or maybe squirm more. "I am Queen Celestia, Shepard of the Sun and the Keeper of the Day. I watch over all of Equestria while my Sun shines, and my sister, Queen Luna, watches and protects this land while I sleep.
"I'll ask again: What, precisely, are you doing in my world?"
I swallowed, then grabbed my drink and took a huge gulp of root beer, and then another. Celestia remained as still as stone, and probably twice as immovable. When I finished my drink, I set the cup down and thought about it. It didn't take long, because I hadn't really come up anything better than I'd already said. "Celestia, I-" Her eyebrow rose. Given how much her expression had moved before that, it made me pause, but only for a moment. "Listen, I just want to take a step back and see what other people live like. Yours was the first place I thought of, given how it's practically a utopia here. I mean, it's not like I'm going to get gunned down in the street here, is it?" Her eyebrow had slowly dropped back into position. She kept looking at me with that damned scowl; she'd put Fluttershy to shame, I swear. "Seriously, it's not like I'm here to cause trouble! I just want to take a break, alright?! Sure, I could go back to blowing stuff up whenever, but somebody-"
I stopped myself. She didn't need to know that.
Apparently she'd heard enough. Her scowl lessened somewhat, but that's like saying that a tsunami's winds weren't moving quite so fast. "As you say. It is the nicest place I've come to know in my life. You're threatening that."
It takes me a moment to realize what she said. "I'm what now? How could I possibly be threatening your world?"
"By going back to, as you said, 'blowing stuff up whenever?' What's stopping you from doing that to me, here, now?"
"Urgh, really?! Other than I haven't already? Because maybe, just maybe, I'm trying to think over why I'm blowing stuff up? Maybe because I don't really know what it's like to be on the other end of things?" I ask, gesturing to her. "Whatever. I'm not leaving. I'm not going to hurt anyone, and I've already told myself that I'm going to try to slow down on the whole 'bend reality to my will because I feel like it' thing. If I figure stuff out? Maybe then I'll leave. But right now, this is one of the only places I can think of where I won't have to worry about much other than my own problems. Nobody else is blowing stuff up, are they? 'Cus if they are, then maybe I'll leave." I wait, but Celestia doesn't move. A whole minute passes in silence. "Well?" I ask. Nothing. Just that FREAKING SCOWL. "URGH, I JUST WANT TO LIVE A NORMAL LIFE FOR ONCE! IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?" I shout, slamming a fist down on the table.
Her scowl finally disappeared, replaced by a completely emotionless mask. Jeez, since when did the Princess from FiM get to be so... whatever this is? "Maybe it is. But maybe it's not." She walked over to my table, finally, and sat down next to it. Her ethereal mane began to flow a little more naturally, or as naturally as something so bizarre could flow. She looked me over a second time. "Are you convinced that you'd ever have a chance to live normally as you are now, 'Tim?'"
"Uh, maybe? Why, what am I doing wrong?"
She tilted her head ever-so-slightly at me. "You're almost as tall as I am, you have no fur, and you're walking on two legs. You've claws like predator, and their teeth as well. You're clothed in a style different from any I've seen in this country, let alone this town. How did you plan to fit in and live a normal life among my ponies when you appear so different?"
I bit my lip. "Uh, being good-natured and, uh, helpful?"
Her eyebrow rose again.
"OK, fine, so maybe I didn't feel comfortable as a po...ny..." I trailed off, thinking back to how everything had been when I'd arrived; everyone had been humans. Wouldn't I have fit in naturally there? Did I change my world to have people in it by mistake, or did I make it that way, at first?
Celestia slowly shook her head. "I thought I'd heard that you had been a winged unicorn when you'd arrived. But, though beyond rare, even that form would have afforded you more discretion than this one. You-"
"Wait, winged unicorn? Don't you mean Alicorn?" I interrupted. No, I'm not suicidal, but to be honest, I'd never really been good with the whole "respect authority" thing. I guess it had something to do with being able to ignore them whenever I felt like it.
If Celestia was upset, she hid it well. Seriously, when'd she get that poker face? "A winged unicorn is an extremely rare offspring of two otherwise normal ponies, be they unicorns, pegasi or Earth ponies, a foal capable of experiencing all the joy of flight alongside the wonders of magic. An Alicorn, however, may only be made, through their own magical ability and drive to do better, both for themselves and for those around them. There are few Alicorns, even throughout Equestria's history. But back to the point of my comment... even the form of a winged unicorn would have suited you better to living a normal life than the one you have now. So why would you change?"
I processed her little info dump, and then thought back to what I'd done: I'd thought I was an Alicorn, but they're practically gods here. I'd turned myself back into normal, but my own version of normal. I voiced my thoughts aloud, and Celestia nodded, apparently satisfied with my answer. "Course, that means that I'd completely failed to think about how making myself 'normal' wasn't going to help me. I guess it was the wrong 'normal,' eh?"
"Perhaps if you gave yourself the form of a pony, then you might actually have a chance to stay."
I nodded. "OK. Probably a unicorn, though; no offense to the other kinds of ponies, but I'm too used to 'magic' to just give it up, or even to appear to. If I make any mistakes in not holding back, then I just chalk it up to unicorn magic, and that doesn't lead to me being discovered, right?"
"As you say. Perhaps like the winged unicorn you became before, without the wings?"
"Right. Hey, did anyone say what color my mane was? What color would go well with an orange coat?"
"Hmm... An aquamarine blue mane would contrast it well, though so too would a peach or-"
"Blue, got it."
"As you say. So, Tim? Are you ready to leave?"
"Uh, yeah. Let's go get this thing figured out. Lead on, your highness."
We both stood, and walked over to the door. Celestia pushed it open, and I held up a hand against the sudden brightness; had the diner, or coffeeshop or whatever been that dark? I took a few steps outside as my eyes adjusted.
Just in time to see the Elements of Harmony floating off the ground, a rainbow already fired from their formation. I threw up everything I had, every defense; it didn't matter. As the rainbow hit me, my feet, then knees, locked. I blocked with both forearms, even as the rest of me turned to stone.
Author's Note
ALL THE THUMBS DOWN, BWAH HA HA HA!
But seriously, thanks to those who are supporting my obviously tasteless endeavor to force myself to write. I'm capable of producing a wonderful story, but I'm more interested in simply putting words to paper between projects. I promise, the writing will get worse over time!
MOAR THUMBS DOWN! FAILED FIC PROJECT, GO!
On an unrelated note, I made most of this "chapter" on the 28th, but my internet had gone down, soooo... It'll make it's way up whenever.
P.S.
Totally changed my mind on where this fic is going. Again. WHEEEEE!
