Rehab with Bright Colors

"Shit."

For lack of better words that curse embodied everything currently happening on board the capital ship North Star. Klaxons were blaring throughout every hallway and bathing all things human and not in red as the Zerg pushed farther and farther into the ship. Since the North Star was the farthest behind the main fleet it hadn't been hit nearly as hard as those who first encountered Kerrigan's main swarm cluster, and still there were critters popping out here and there to tear those unlucky enough to shreds.

Retreat had already been sounded, everyone was running for their lives, and Hex could only grunt in irritation as he clunked his way down towards the escape pods with his Gauss rifle held out in front of him.

When he reached the pod chamber he watched as a group of zerglings hopped about some poor bastards who were too slow to get away. The human in him said he should try to help them, but a far colder side said they were making a good distraction. That cold pit also pointed out that those zerg were not tearing them into wet chunks like they should, they were slashing their legs and dragging them away to do something far worse than killing them.

With a sigh he unlatched an HE grenade from his waist and tossed it into the middle of them before entering an assault pod, closing the door just as chunks of mess splattered the outside. It was a compromise between his conscience and the machine. They were better off dying with the bugs than being dragged away and turned into one of them. It took one step to bring him to the console and after a second pause the pod blew out of the housing and into open space.

Hex knew he was dead and after glancing out of the view port, and confirmed that point with certainty as the North Star produced a warp rift in order to flee. Pods didn't survive warp, and if he somehow managed to not get sucked in (Which was impossible via shitty pod Thrusters) the Zerg fliers would be along to turn him into digestive slush with acid.

The machine didn't care about such things as logic and mortality, so while his head might have been coming to terms with death his hands were popping open storage cases and attaching various weapons, munitions, explosives, and medical equipment to different parts of his suit. He stilled his body when he looked down at the impact gun, quirking a weird smile.

"This is for landing, we're not landing, we're going to be crushed into infinity." As if the warp wasn't bad enough Hex actually froze when he saw a gigantic figure coming at the North Star with what looked like fire in her fists. Even the machine was stilled without any comprehensible action to take.

"That's a huge bitch." Hex sighed as he watched Kerrigan tear the North Star to shreds with whatever freak powers she had. So there goes the North Stars jump and his chances of a painless and instantaneous death but it seemed the universe wasn't quite done fucking with him... at least for the time being.

Hex watched with confusion as some of Kerrigan's powers splashed across the warp rift and frowned at the way all of it seemed to coalesce into some kind of space goop that his poor pod floated carelessly into. "I'm probably going to have cancer from this shit."

He grumbled as the stuff floated through the pod and his suit before the not so nice vision of his pod melting in front of him as well as a strange tingling going through his own body. Hex honestly thought melting would have been a lot more painful but it was actually kinda pleasant as everything slipped away.

Fuck peace and quite oh no, he couldn't just kill over and have things easy. Hex woke up and opened his face shield only to catch a grenade flying about right in the eye. The pod was going ballistic, things were flying everywhere, and he could distinctively feel that he was "Falling" for whatever reason.

"FUCKING GRENADES, FUCKING POD, FUCKING GRAVITY, ALL I WANTED WAS SOME FUCKING PEACE." He howled in his tumbling coffin until the machine kicked back in and placed the errant explosive with the others before smashing through the paneling that hid the purge button and sealing his helmet. Charged rivets blew along the entire pod length as it came apart in chunks, and Hex was left falling through the sky cursing and spinning.

Taking a moment for a nice deep breath as he fell into oblivion he appreciated the cold psychotic part of his melon for grabbing the impact gun. The problem was after he leveled himself out to actually use the thing he noticed underneath him was magical fairly land castle and city.

While his mind tried to wrap around how fucked this place looked the machine primed the impact gun and fired three shells into his landing zone before his body shifted around to take the impact across his back. Funny thing with impact shells was it felt like what he imagined landing in a pool of jello, strangely calming that jello cushion and since the stuff started dissipating seconds after being deployed he never got the chance to poke at it to see what it really felt like.

Once the gel finally cleared away Hex had to stop breathing for a little while as he stared at the thing in front if him. It was looking at him with what might be shock but it was kinda hard to tell since it was a small horse. Its mouth seemed to be working as if it was trying to speak but Hex could not stop staring at the things two toned blue hair and the ridiculously large sun glasses it wore on its face. He actually snorted when he saw a tramp stamp on the things ass in the shape of a musical note but after he could breath right again he decided this thing was as good as any.

"Hola. Mi nombre es Paco."

"..................................."