Rehab with Bright Colors

".................."

"....................................."

"......."

Hex lunged at the tiny creature, and even though she reared (He assumed female with the way she was screaming) her hooves merely clanged off of his armor as he scooped his left arm over her back and under her to pick her up off the ground.

"HELP I'M BEING ABDUCTED BY A HISPONY ALIEN!"

Hex snorted and laughed. Hispony? Hispanic? No way, it couldn't be that even if he did just talk to her in Spanish. Oddly enough though she was speaking English, which made things a whole lot easier as he situated the struggling horse under his arm until his hand was resting against it's chest and the rest of it was neatly tucked under his arm.

"Haha my tiny horse is talking to me! Come Horse! We are off to the castle to meet the the rulers of fucking fairy land! My names Hex! What's yours?"

This got her to stop struggling as she looked up at the lifeless yellow shell of the face shield. Pushing her shades up higher on her nose she just kinda dangled there for the first few steps until finally speaking up.

"It's Vinyl....... Vinyl Scratch...... and I'm a pony not a horse.... what the buck are you?"

Hex thought about how he should respond to the comment as he strolled in the middle of a wide street towards the castle. He had to have been dead, I mean come on was that a fucking clothing store for horses/ponies/whatever the fuck they are?

"I'm a human. And the last thing I remember was being in a situation where I was dead. Very dead Scratchy, very, very, body being torn to shreds dead. Now I'm here in magic pony land!"

He could swear he felt her quaking a bit under his arm but he tried to calm the little thing down by patting it on the head. Unfortunately with his powered exo-suit the massive fingered appendage that could easily crush her skull only made her quake more.

"Ok.... Listen dude. I don't know how you got here but uh.... I guess you could talk to the princesses about it. Oh! They are the ones who rule here. Princess Celestia and Luna."

Welp. It was a start at least, and since every critter was moving out of the way or out right fleeing maybe these people/ponies/tiny creatures could direct him in this insanity.

"So Scratchy whats up with the cloths and shit? Why are you naked when these other people are wandering about with cloths? And why is that guy coming at me with a spear?"

This thing had to have been brave but for the life of him Hex couldn't figure out how the fuck it was holding a spear with hooves. He looked like he had something to say, but when the spear was close enough he reached out and snapped the tip off before opening his face shield to pick at his teeth.

"Look at that Scratchy! Such a nice thingamabobber. He brought me a tooth pick to get that pesky meat from breakfast out."

It was impressive how green the poor fellow turned, and once more Hex had to give the guy credit for not fleeing as he passed by. Flicking the spear head away he felt his poor captive shutter again.

"Hey... uh... so... you eat meat?"

"Why yes I do Scratch, oh... your just a tiny little pony. I'm assuming you guys don't eat meat huh?"

"........... Please... don't eat me.."

Hex started to chuckle evilly as whispers spread amongst the crowds and it looked like they were about to start panicking with the way he was laughing.

"Don't be like that Vinyl! I'd take my time with a girl like you. Hell I'd eat you all night long until your begging me to have seconds."

It was probably more a product of stress, or the fact that an alien was carting her around town towards the castle, but she actually started giggle snorting at that comment. Looking around didn't help as most of the poor folks within ear shout were turning all kinds of red. Even her legs started wriggling about underneath as Hex chuckled at the poor critters on the street.

"Dude you are a sick. And cloths here are optional. They are kinda like accessories but its fine going about in your birthday suit."

"Huh. Humans wear cloths all the time but I guess its because we walk on two feet. I can't be wandering about with my dick flapping in the wind for everyone to see. I have to ask though... Whats up with all the ass tattoos? Is it some kind of fetish or something?"

A proximity alert chimed in his helmet as a notifier relayed information about something behind him off to the right. Pivoting on his left foot it was easy enough to scoop up another one of the armored ponies before holding it out in front of Vinyl to see. This one was female it seemed with the demands she was making to be released but his next words froze all movement.

"Look at this one here. Cherries? Does it mean she has a fetish for cherries? Does she like having cherries licked off of her or something? Is she cherry flavored? What powers do you hold over cherries tiny pony!"

Vinyl only laughed and hid her face with a hoof. "Its a cutie mark Hex. It shows what the pony is really good at but it isn't always exact. She could be really good at making cherry stuff or dealing with fruits."

Releasing the tiny creature and chuckling at how it fled from them red faced he had to admit it was glorious picking at the poor things. Though this was some kind of whacked shit the city was actually kinda nice.

As they neared the castle it seemed like the civilians that were wondering about had been quickly replaced with quite a number of guards. Assuming the armored ones acted as the cities milita he smirked as a few of them looked ready to attack, though it was hard taking them seriously. They were just so adorable in their tiny horse armor.

"You know Scratch, Its kinda messed up forcing you along like this but there is a reason for carting you to the castle. Ya see... So long as I'm carrying you about like this those people over there won't be so keen on sticking me with pointy objects. As far as I'm concerned I won't be randomly killing you critters unless given a good reason too."

She tapped her chin with a hoof before looking up at him with a weary smile.

"Its ok Hex. You might be charged with kidnapping or something but I guess I can vouch for you when we meet the princesses. It might have helped if you had asked but then again you are one freaky looking pony. By the way we're ponies not people, whatever those things are."

"Hey now... I'm still not convinced if this is real or I'm just so high I've reached the end of the rainbow."

"Dude. If you want to get high I can get some shit that will make you vomit rainbows."

".... Don't you tempt me Scratchy. Don't you tempt me with silky words. Unless there's booze involved."

"When we're done I'ma wreck your shit Hex."

"I love you tiny pony."

With glorious thoughts of illicit substances in his near future he barely acknowledged the packed formations of ponies that crowed the streets and entrance. One stood out in the middle of the gates with much finer armor than the rest, which he assumed to be the leader of sorts. Closing the gap towards the gate he smiled at seeing almost identical hair coloration to Scratch's. Stopping in front of him he cocked a smile before looking down at Vinyl.

"Hey Scratchy can you tell your brother or relative I'm not going to attack no pony?"

Vinyl responded by looking up at him with a confused look on her face.

"Dude. Just because we have the same mane stylist doesn't mean we're related. That's Shining Armor, the captain of the guard."

"Huh.... I didn't know hair styles for men and women were shared here. So its ok for a guy to run around with fabulous hair flowing in the wind?"

The guards now surrounding them suddenly contracted a terrible case of coughing, some of them hacking into their hooves with full body tremors shaking their frames. It was a shame the captain's fur was white, it made the beet red blush all the more apparent as he tried to retain a commanding tone.

"Release that mare and come along quietly. Nopony has to be hurt if you cooperate and come peacefully."

Vinyl waved a hoof at him as she tried to suppress her mirth.

"Its ok man.... he's not going to hurt me.... and I agreed to stay with him.... to see the princesses...."

Hex couldn't blame the guy for looking at him with pure venom, he was after all embarrassing the poor fellow in front of so many other guards but it helped to diffuse the otherwise tense situation. After grunting and beckoning them to follow he let out a sigh of relief as the guards fell in line beside them still having trouble keeping straight faces.

"Oh boy we get to meet the pretty princesses with a pretty escort service all the way there. I bet Shiny has all the mares and stallions chasing his sweet ass."

Barely suppressed laughs and snorts sounded from amongst the other guards, and he could swear every inch of the captains body that was visible had a distinct shade of red to it.