Rehab with Bright Colors

Oh sweet torturous revenge. While Hex never usually suffered from hang overs, that fact alone became the bane of Twilight and Vinyl's existence the next morning when a knock was issued at their door  just as sunrise peaked its way over the horizon. It wasn't a problem shooing away the maid that was sent to wake them, but when he found himself alone with the two girls currently suffering from last night's drinking he cackled evilly before pouncing on top of them.

Rolling them over, nipping at their ears, hugging and flopping about on the bed almost made up for the few days of hell they had put him through. Both whined and tried to crawl away in the manner of pitifully hung over saps but he wouldn't leave them alone.

"I don't have to DJ for the party until tonight! Leave me alone...."

"That doesn't mean I don't get to torment you until tonight! You shouldn't have drank so much!"

"Please leave me alone Hex... My head is killing me."

"Its your own damn fault Twilight! Once more for good measure. GOOOOOOD MORNING SPARKY! GOOD MORNING VINYL!"

Eventually they tossed him laughing out of the bed with magic, but he couldn't torment the poor little things for too long. Taking a hot bath and slipping into some comfortable day cloths he could wear within his suit Hex gave them both a soft kiss on the head, smiling as they snuggled down into the blankets to sleep off the booze. He smiled even more when he saw Cadence looking just as hung over with a fleet of maids following her into his room with various equipment.

He prayed to whatever deity that could hear him for the day to last as painfully long as possible, knowing full well they were probably going to remain in a pissed mood well into the evening. As for himself a quick check on Durge and Shiny to see if their unit was ready he smiled to see a few more surprises in store for the Gala.

After rehearsing their arrival for the Gala, he allowed his men to disperse for the rest of the day until the evening with their armor tucked away in an armory specifically for them. Hex and Durge's weaponry had also been stored here, and after helping his friend fitted into another firebat suit he smiled deviously.

"You think you can keep Moon Butt from tearing you out of this one?"

"I think she's alright now. I just hope she asks next time instead of tying me to the bed."

"Have you pissed her off recently?"

"Does last night count?"

Shrugging his shoulders he left his fellow human to contemplate what he had done the previous night in front of everyone. Pulling a number of weapons from the armory and loading his suit down with what he normally would carry into combat Hex decided he might as well get used to carrying his standard load out once more. There was no telling when he might need it.

Once he was ready to go he made straight for the castle gates and out into the city, hell bent on spending at least a walk in comforting solitude. The city was just as he remembered it from his first day in Equestria, but with a few noticeable differences.

A lot of the ponies still babbled the moment they caught sight of him as he passed, but for a few he noticed with a chill that when his helmet swiveled to look at them they bowed their heads in respect. It was... disturbing. He would have to do something to get them to stop that, but what made him more comfortable was when an equal number would stand on their hind legs to wave at him yelling flank shot.

He thought they would have forgotten about that by now... but apparently it looked like it was still circulating. Passing by a lot of the stores Hex found the particular shop he had seen when he went out and about with Vinyl. It was a candy and chocolatier store that had quite a few patrons milling about and looking through the display cases for their vice.

As far as he could remember it had been about four years since he had anything that resembled sweets of any sort, discounting the terrible chocolate flavored shit that was occasionally given to himself and the other marines and filled with enough nutrients to sustain them for days. It was something of a dark little desire to see if the ponies had something similar to what he deeply enjoyed all those years ago.

Of course being in full armor and towering over all of the tiny ponies getting their chocolates and candies made him feel like the bully about to take their sweets away from them. Some of them even hid their purchases behind their backs, causing him to chuckle in an evil kind of way.

"I'm here to take your candy."

There was a lot of nervous laughing around the shop, and from just below his vision an adorable little squeak. It was a little mare, or now that he thought about it she must have been a little kid given her size. The poor thing was looking up at him in terror, and as he bent down at the knees she was so tiny that she fit in the palm of his left hand when he lifted her back up to his height.

"I've never had pony candy before little one. Would you know what tastes nice and what I should avoid? I'd be happy to share some of what I buy with you if you'll help."

The little thing almost bounced out of his hand as she smiled and pointed towards the cases. It didn't take long for him to spot her parents, but both of them nodded gently as he let the little girl lead him through some of the cases. He had always loved kids, and maybe if things hadn't quite turned out the way they did he might have had a few of his own. After trying a few things and buying a bit for the child the parents saved him from buying out the store.

Waving goodbye to the family, he turned back to examine the contents of the store more closely. The ponies around him were much calmer than when he first entered, but as he made a slow circle around the cases it looked like he wouldn't find his own vice. At the last case he thought he might have had a mild aneurism after reading one of the labels.

Milk Chocolate Mint Truffles..... There was a god in the universe and apparently it saw fit to bestow a small portion of paradise directly in front of him. If these things tasted the way he thought they should, everything would be made right with this world. His joy was short lived. The machine suddenly went ballistic inside of his melon, and before he could piece together exactly what the threat was his Guass Pistol was already pointing into a mares face with a click sounding the safeties release.

The mare was smiling at him with half lidded eyes, and actually looking at her she was dressed in a different manner than the other ponies. She was wrapped in what looked like silks of red and gold, with inlaid gold beads helping to weigh the silks down to keep them in place. Blonde haired, tanned fur, and a grey horn he couldn't see her cutie mark with the silks in the way, but his examination was interrupted when her smile widened.

It unnerved him greatly when her tongue slid out to slowly lick the front of his pistol, giggling in a musical voice that screamed evil serpent. Turning towards the case she inspected the candies within before speaking.

"Strange sort of man. No one really knows how to take you Mr. Flank Shot. You made such a grand entrance your first day, spent that evening in an even grander manner, vanished a few days later, and now lead the first Death Company under Celestia's rule."

She pointed at one of his coveted delights while he clicked the safety back on his pistol before returning it to his holster. The woman took her time with the sample given, maybe a bit too much as she smacked her lips and licked chocolate off of her hoof.

"Stranger still... I would have to assume you were just for show. After your first night and seeing you play with that little filly I couldn't peg you being very dangerous. My dearest friend recently married though, and her husband.... He said to be very careful of you. He told me I could die in an instant if I pressed my luck."

She was smiling in a taunting kind of way that made him want to savagely kick her in the teeth, seeing as it wouldn't be too much of a hassle with her height. But he replied in as civil, low voice that wouldn't carry to anyone else.

"You look like you enjoy playing that game. That very very dumb game where you think I won't kill you in the middle of this store. I pulled my weapon because you were a threat, but you backed down and so did I.

She smiled all the wider, and Hex felt himself shiver. Her eyes and the way she smiled... it looked too much like affection.

"And how did you know I was a threat before you laid eyes on me?"

"Call it a bad feeling, call it instinct, call it luck. I shouldn't have backed down, I think you're far more trouble alive."

"Then kill me Hexus Murdoc. Kill me in cold blood when I'm not posing a threat."

The way she smiled in a.... loving manner while she asked him to kill her really bothered him. He didn't like this woman, he didn't like her at all, and when she did turn back to the counter she pointed at his paradise and whispered to the worker behind the display.

"He was right about you Hexus, and I owe him a thanks this evening at the Gala. I'll just have to take your candies for now."

The worker had returned with a good sized tin, one that she traded a small bag of bits before popping the lid open and floating one to her lips, licking it before slowly before eating it.

"Maybe if you're free I can feed you some of them, on your knees and out of my pussy of course, since you have such good taste in sweets."

She left with a sway of her hips and a tinkle of the gold on her silks, and as he turned to glare at the worker with seething hatred and fury, the bastard confirmed his suspicions.

"Sh.... Sh.... She... She bought.... alloftheminttruffles"

The door of the shop nearly cracked off of its hinges as Hex shoved it open with his right hand, and outside in the crowded streets the mare was no where to be found.

Stream after stream of literary obscenity flowed out of Hex as he stomped his way back to the castle. Men, women and children fled from the grating, hate filled, black rage that colored both known and unknown profanities and acts of degradation of the like ponies could just barely imagine in twisted, sickening, and frightening mental images.

In all reality he shouldn't have been so angry over candy, but he was. He hadn't felt so very pissed off in such a long time that he couldn't help but feed the black rage more fuel as he studiously ignored everything. It was that woman... the way she talked and the way she looked... He just wanted to step on her until she ceased to be and if anyone had even the slightest idea as to why he was so pissed it might cause them to break down and cry laughing.