The Mysterious Tale of the Man Who Didn't Do Much

Chapter 12: Tasty

Well, the morning was relatively normal... If you call waking up with a cyan pony cuddling your arm normal then... Well, normal! I pulled my arm out of hers and sighed. What did I do to deserve this? Not that I'm against it, I'm just... I don't know many people or ponies who are pro-interspecies relationship.Dash woke up and realized why I pull my arm back. immediately, she blushed through her coat and looked up at the ceiling. I hesitantly patted her head. "Uh..." I started, unsure of what to say, "It's alright. I not mad or anything, I just need to regain feeling in my left arm." This caused her to giggle a bit. As I dragged my pupils to attempt to look at the ceiling, I looked past a window. I stopped and looked back to the window. Holy stuff. It looked like it was around 2pm! "Whoa!" I yelled and shot up, causing dash to roll off. Ha, I guess she was on my blanket. Back to the point. "What time is it?" I asked.

"Around 3pm." A voice answered from a desk. It was Twilight. Oh right.. She woke up when I went to bed. "Enjoy your sleep, Jack?"

"Uh... Yeah. I guess. Any reason you ask?"

"Oh, not really." She gestured to Rainbow when she wasn't looking. "Oh... Okay." Rainbow bolted up and yelled, "Oh man! There is a storm today at 3! They needed my help! I gotta go! Seeya Twi'!" She ran for the door but stopped at the last second. "Bye Jack." With that and a wink, she flew off. Twilight walked over to me with a wry smile on the side of her face and spoke with a hint of sadism, "Ooh, saucy. Might need to hold that against you for a bit." She giggled at that last part. I simply shot a look that said, 'You don't have the guts.'. Something tells me that she was all bark and no bite. "Kidding, I won't," she finally got around to a reply, "but I am looking for a way to get you back home. I'll need to research some more today, and that's what I AM doing. Say, are you hungry? What do humans eat?"

"Well we... um..." I started, unsure of a probable reaction.

"Yes?"

"We're kind of... omnivores. So we eh... we can and do indeed generally... eat meat." Twilight's jaw might need to be glued into place. I swear, I can't just SAY something and have it be normal! Oh well, c'est la vie. "Don't panic. Pleeeeaase don't panic." I was speaking in a low tone that, regardless of the hype of the moment, almost came across as an ear-shattering monotone, "You asked, I answered. We humans can easily change our diets. I mean... it's not like we eat ponies or anythin-"

"Jackson! ... I get it. No need for detail."

"Okay... You just seemed disgusted."

"Maybe a little... but... what meats do you eat?"

"Fish, which is not really meat, but almost classifies."

"Okay."

"Chicken." Twilight shuddered.

"Continue."

"Pigs." She shuddered again. A little heavier this time.

"Okay..."

"And cow." She fainted. Straight up... faint. I caught her and carried her upstairs across my shoulder. I set her down in her bed and went downstairs. I rummaged around in my bag to get out a packet of dehydrated food. I pour a tidbit of water in the pouch and set it on a windowsill. After a while, and picked it up and slid it out. Meatloaf. How ironic. "Tasty..." I muttered under my breath, sarcastically. I ate slowly, hesitant to bite the morsels off my fork. I looked upstairs and just stared at the wall. Somehow, my talk with Twilight told me that this was wrong. For some reason... I had a yearning for apples. As I finished my meal, Twilight was waking up. "Hi, sleepy. How did you sleep?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Figured it was my turn to ask." And with that, I smiled, to let Twilight know that I was just messing with her. "Say, do you by any chance have a trash bin to dispose of this in?"

"Yeah.. Right over there... In the kitchen... Do I wanna know what you just ate?"

"Judging by your previous reaction... I'm gonna go with a 'no'."

"Ugh." She scowled. I was sad for the first time here. I was only being human... But that was the problem.

"Hey. C'mere for a second, would ya?" She reluctantly trotted over. I sat down next to her and said, "How does being a vegetarian sound?"

"Oh, thank Celestia." She leaned into my side and we talked for a little bit about foods and human history with it. Which somehow lead to greek gods which lead to religion. "Oh, so THAT'S why you put his name in the place of the princess'."

"You catch on fast." I patted her on the head, and stood up, walking over to throw out my trash. She smiled but jumped as if startled. "Oops! Back to research."

"Pace yourself. I'm in no hurry to go home." I crouched and scratched behind her ear. She closed her eyes and pressed against my palm before walking to the kitchen and coming out with an apple with a content voice, "Definitely different than a hoof." I smiled. These ponies, man. They get to ya'. She took a bite of the apple and trotted back to her desk. "Mmm," she relished in the flavor, "Tasty."