The Mysterious Tale of the Man Who Didn't Do Much

Chapter 17: Clingy!

Rainbow slammed the door open in a manner that would normally scare me, but I knew she was on her way. She is so funny. She comes in nearly steaming and she looks all upset. "Whaaaaat happened?"

"Me and Bon Bon got into a fight, and we were both yelling and..." She tried to sit down but winced as she did, eventually she eased her way to the floor. "Oh hell no... What happened?"

"Well, I called Lyra crazy and everything started getting more complicated. Then things got... a little out of hand." Twilight walked into the kitchen and got a bag of ice, floating it to Rainbow. "What did Bon Bon do?"

"Literally speaking... kicked my flank." I was in awe. Oh, the Mystery Bitch had this coming.

"Huh... Interesting. Me and this Bon Bon fellow need to have a little chat."

"Jack, don't stick up for me."

"Well, why not? Pride won't do you any good now. I'm not hurting yet, so I'm not worried about me." I was actually about to make my way over to Lyra and Bon Bon's, but Twilight did the coolest thing. She magi-threw me my pistol! Ha! Damn, this place is cool! I can't stop saying that! "I'm not sure if I'll need this, but..." I slid it into my holster, "Thanks, Twi'." I went out the door and walked down to the house of the Mystery Bitch and, still getting glares from the general public, slowed down to observe my surroundings. I looked long and hard, seeing really random things like a gingerbread house that was a bakery, Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie worked there or so I've heard. Nice. Then the Carousel Boutique off in the distance. Rarity told me it was her place and haha, awesome! It was an actual carousel! I finally got to the M.B. residence, and knocked. Lyra opened the door. "*gasp* It's you! I mean... Oh. It's you." She tried not to look exited but I could tell she was. "Look," I said, "I'm sorry about what I said before, and if it means anything, I'll answer some questions later, but I have to talk to Bon Bon in private for a minute."

"Ab-Absolutely! Anything for you!"

"Heh, calm down..."

"Okay... It's just a knew your kind was out there! Nopony believed me! Weird, huh?"

"Uh... Yeah." I walked back the way I went when chasing after Lyra just about a half an hour ago, assuming to find Bon Bon and -to my surprise- I found her! "Bon Bon..." I sighed and kept going, "We need to talk." I sat on the ground and looked at her. Like, really looked, checking if my eyes were playing tricks on me, because I noted a darkened spot across her side. A bruise. Thanks, Rainbow. "So, I see you have a bruise."

"Y-Yeah... It's nothing..."

"You know... Dashie's will have one pretty soon, too. I don't approve of that. I don't approve of being bucked, but that's besides the point." She stayed silent. "What if Lyra really is crazy? Gonna smack down everypony who says so? Even if they are only saying it out of rage? Like Rainbow was?"

"Lyra's not crazy! And Rainbow meant it..."

"No, she didn't. She just hated to see me hurt. She was only mad at you because you over-reacted." Bon Bon looked down at the ground. "So... Who pulled the first punch?" Bon Bon was silent. "I take it you did..." I stood up and she backed away and scrambled to her hooves to try to run but she fell down. "Please don't hurt me!" She whimpered. I walked over to her and sat down. "Relax, I'm not going to. I can tell something is on your mind... Would you like to talk?" I wasn't making it up. She looked sleep-deprived, and over all... sad. She was hurting, so, I offered some help. I can relate to severe sadness and anguish. So this wouldn't be so bad, right? Bon Bon stopped cowering and started talking about how "everypony was making fun of her for living with 'Lyra the weirdo'" and that "she was so sorry for hurting Rainbow, but she pushed her over the metaphoric edge after called Lyra crazy!". It was everything I had not to shed a tear. It's just... Let me put it this way. When something so cute is hurting so bad for so long, you feel the need to be sorry for it. It's sort of an obligation. She looked at me with teary eyes herself and said, "No, by the way. I didn't hurt anypony else for what they said. I just..." she sighed, "It's just that she's always so cocky and when she gets mad, she is so defensive. She must really like you..." I mumbled under my breath, "You have no idea..." Then she did what I have never seen anyone, anypony... anything do after first seeing an alien. She hugged me. She hugged me and quietly cried into my back. Lyra walked into the door, saw this, and gasped. I turned to her and sighed before waving at her to join if she wanted. She squeaked with joy and ran over to hug the apparently famous human. I sat there and was hugged for about thirty seconds before... -if you can't beat 'em; join 'em- I hugged back. I patted their heads and separated the hug to speak, "Bon Bon?" She sniffed and wiped away a tear, "Y-Yeah?"

"Would you like to get some well deserved revenge?"

"What do you mean?"

"All those name-calling ponies. Wouldn't it be great to show them a human first-hand and see their faces?" She laughed and hugged me again. Much harder than before. "Ack! Bon Bon... crushing... ribs... I think... voice... turning to... Captain Kirk..." She didn't let go. So... so... I can't think of a word! Darn, a word to describe Bon Bon at the moment... "Bon Bon, please stop hugging me." Lyra started hugging again. Are you serious? That's it. "Girls," I always seem to have to frickin' resort to this, "if you don't stop hugging me, I'm gonna tickle you..." Bon Bon was the one who squeaked this time and let go, but Lyra held firm. "Does she have selective hearing?"

"Yes. That's actually what I think sometimes."

"Oh. Okay..." I waited for a moment, and slowly inched my finger toward her belly and started to scratch it. Lyra started vibrating from what I could assume was laughter, and Bon Bon went in the front to look at her and came back around to my face and nodded, signaling it was working. I scratched faster at this point, and I heard giggles seeping out of Lyra. This was hysterical. I went to her side and squeezed under what I was assuming were little pony ribs, and she fell off, laughing and flailing her hooves around hoping to be saved. She managed to get out a squeal and the words, "Ehehehahahaha! C-C'mon! Hahahaha! I just wanted a hug!" I stopped and stood up. "Well, girls... Time for some revenge." Lyra gathered herself and Bon Bon patted her head but Lyra knocked her hoof away and angrily said, "Why didn't you help me?" I laughed and looked at Bon Bon, "Lead the way to the mean ones!" She quickly took point in front of me and proudly trotted off down the hallway. I was going to follow, but not before some re-inforcing words to Lyra. "Don't worry," I whispered to the upset unicorn, "She's next."

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Clingy! That's a word to describe Bon Bon! Clingy!