The Mysterious Tale of the Man Who Didn't Do Much

Chapter 19: Marry Me

After a session of lulz and such, Lyra floated Bon Bon upright, and they hugged for no reason. Lyra then gently pushed Bon Bon away saying, "So help me next time." and then smiled warmly. "Well," I began, "I'd better get back to Twilight and the others. You girls are great, but I should be running along now."

"Aww... You're no fun. Everypony leaves before I really start feeling better!" Lyra fake pouted.

"C'mon, I can't take your pouting face." So she did it more. "Okay, I really have to go." I patted them each on the head and left the room, then the house. Then I walked down the main street and got to Twilight's library. Upon arrival, I was greeted by a happy Twilight and possibly, too-happy-for-her-own-good Rainbow. "Well?" Rainbow asked, "What happened?"

"Bon Bon was just angry at-"

"Me, I know."

"Well, thanks, Ms. Interruption. I was gonna say at the whole town. Everyone was calling Lyra crazy. Not because she freaked over me, but because she knew my kind existed and none of you ponies believed her! So Bon Bon got all worked up over all of this and snapped."

"Snapped?" Twilight inquired, "So she had been holding it in, huh?"

"Like a twig." I replied, sadly. "So, I went out with her and spooked another sorry individual who refused to believe that I was in town. I don't think anypony else is scared to see me anymore, though. I think it's almost become a normal occurrence to see me on the streets. But whatever, the point is I made her feel better by getting revenge." I wiped my forehead free of sweat and groaned, "But really, does it have to be so hot out? You pegasus ponies cranked up the thermometer a few degrees today, didn't you?" Rainbow just laughed and smiled, "Yeah, well, you came here during the summer! What do you expect?"

"Seems legit." I muttered. Twilight was walking back to her desk, but turned around. "That reminds me! Weren't you going to take a shower?" Crap.

"Wait, what about Dash? You were talking about her taking one the other day!" Rainbow turned to me with a face that said, 'You monster!' I just smiled my trademark malicious smile and turned back to Twilight. Rainbow had other plans. "Well, I have a cloud house. One of the many pros is great water pressure... One of the cons is water leakage." I laughed at that, but realized that she was right. Somehow, she just wriggled her way out of the awkwardness of showering in another's bathroom. That's what I don't like about this. I could care less if it's a pony's house, I just hate showering in other's restrooms. Pet peeve of mine. I hope to God that I somehow get my own house. Allow me to correct my sub-conscience... Ahem, I hope to Celestia. There.

I had an idea to prolong this little strange-fest. "Well, I think I'm going to need clothes. I can't slip back in the funky ones."

"Why don't we go to Rarity's?"

"Um... Okay, sure." Twilight gathered her things and Rainbow went up to her house to take a cloud shower. I can't even imagine the water pressure. It must have levels. 'Drizzle, Sun Shower, Regular, Hard, Thick, Storm,' and 'Hurricane' Great. Now I wanna cloud house! Argh! Only pegasi can walk on clouds though, I remember reading that in the book I picked up. That sounds like a load of fun, actually. I caught up to Twilight who was waving at me to speed up. I guess I was getting lost in thought. Anyway, we made it to Rarity's and knocked on the door, "Come iiiiin!" Called out from the inside in a sing-song voice. As we walked in, we were greeted by a certain white fashionista. "Ah, darling, I simply knew you would come by soon! "What is it that you need?"

"Uh, Twilight and I were thinking, and I think I should have new clothes. These are... pretty darn old in terms of the last time they were cleaned."

"Oh, well I see. I'm just going to have to measure you up to get a decent size. Stand over there, would you?" So, I did as I was told for the next ten to fifteen minutes. After Rarity had me sized up, she walked back to her table, chuckling. "Is everything okay?" I asked.

"Everything is fine, darling. I just haven't ever made clothing like this. It will be a challenge and- ooh! That reminds me, do I have anything to go by? I mean, your clothes are much different from pony clothing. I'll need to have something to look at for a bit, while I work. I can't very well ask for the clothes off you back now, can I?" Ah good, her mind isn't a sieve. She remembered that one key difference between ponies and humans. Yeah, it was a question she asked a while back about why our kind always wears clothes which she found out via another question and- I ramble... a lot, don't I?

"Umm..." I stood, pondering what to do. I wasn't an artist, so... Wait, I remember seeing a human fashion magazine in Lyra's batcave! Wait again, how did she get a hold of that!? *sigh* Magical magics. Such a confusing thing sometimes. "I have an idea, but I have to go to Lyra's place again."

Twilight looked confused, "What for?"

"You'll see." With that, I took off, to the place of Lyra and Bon Bon. I knocked and was greeted by Lyra. "Back so soon? I thought you wait three days before talking again." She winked.

"Yeah, if you really like the-(I caught myself)-pony you're talking t- Oh! ... I see what you did there. Seriously, I need some help. Could I see your base of operations?"

"Huh?"

"That room where you keep all the human stuff."

"Oh," She giggled, "Sure!" So she lead me back and opened the door. "What do you need?"

"Just a human fashion magazine. Rarity needs some stuff to look at while she works on news clothes. Do you have a summer casual?"

"Coincidentally, I do!" She levitated it over and even opened it to the male section. "Thanks." I said before turning to leave. However, I felt a warm aura as Lyra turned me around, and held me in place. "Uhh, Lyra?"

"Now you have to do me a favor. I've been reading up on my 'Human Tragedy' section and I've been reading details about terrible things. Like your second world war with those poor Jewish people and the nuclear missiles. I could only read the American language, but those Americans seem like jerks a lot of the time. I know that there are different nations. Which nationality are you?"

"American." I said, with an annoyed face from her last comment about us.

"Oh my gosh. I'm sorry. I take it back, you guys aren't jerks. Now that I know you, of course. Also, a little while ago I was reading about this thing called 9/11. That sounds really sad. So many of your kind died. I also crept behind a human's house  to watch a television, I caught a video of a man's phone call when he was stranded on one of the floors of a building. I almost cried, I don't understand how these things can happen!"

She cleared her throat and took a deep breath, obviously trying to regain her composure. "Now I understand things on matters of opinion a lot of times, but I also need facts. My favor that I ask of you is that you meet up with me sometime and we talk this stuff out. I need to know many things. This is a dream come true to me. I've checked, I've tried to whack myself awake at least five times now."

"Don't hurt yourself."

"Heh, I doubt I will. Anyway... Meet up with me sometime?"

"Ya' know... I just might. Thanks for not thinking I'm a jerk!" She blushed and looked down. "Anytime." I left and made my way back to Rarity's house/boutique. "Heeeeere's Jackson!" I peered my head through the door to find Rainbow asleep on a bench, Twilight waiting patiently and eagerly, and Rarity... wasn't in sight. The sound of my voice woke Rainbow, and Twilight glanced over. "Oh, hello Jackson, Rarity's just in the other room. Rarity!" Rarity ran out. "Yes? Oh, Jackson! Wonderful, is that a magazine?"

"Uhh, yeah, a human magazine. Here are some things that would be considered stylish for humans." She skimmed through the male section, observing polo tees, thin sweatshirts, shorts, jeans, and many more. "Well, I dare say your race has a knack for fashion. Do you mind if I keep this for 'ideas' for my own lines?"

"You'll have to talk to Lyra about that, Miss Rarity."

"Oh, please. Call me Rarity."

"Okay, Rarity." I emphasized her name and added a warm smile for good measure.

"I'll have your order ready later today, darling. And Twilight, don't even think about paying. This one's on the house on account of this one's charming behavior." She gestured to me and walked into the back room, which I assume is the wrok room. Rainbow finally decided to get up at Rarity's compliment. I see where this is going. Downhill, that's where. "Hey hey hey! You're puttin' the moves on the wrong mare!"

"Hah! Moves? I was being nice. You'll have to try it Ms. Jealous." Her face flushed a familiar red and she backed away. "I-I'm not jealous! I just... Was j-joking! Yeah, that's it! Joking!" Y'know, Ms. Jealous, you're coat doesn't hide your blush very well. Dye yourself red, then talk to me. This furthered her tomato-faceism and she scrambled to the door and flew away. Twilight was left laughing on the ground. "Do humans always have such good comebacks?"

"Not all of them. I suppose I do, though. What can I say? My actions precede my words" I pointed to her and chuckled a bit. She laughed even more but managed to get up and say, "Rainbow is probably sulking in her cloud house after just being told off by an alien or at the library trying to crack your lock on that journal of yours."

"Hey! Watch it! This alien has feelings! And what was that last part?"

"...We'd better get back to the library." I'm not gonna lie... I fuckin' ran. We finally made it back to the library and guess who was right? The purple unicorn. "Tsk tsk tsk. Dashie..." Rainbow bolted upright from the laying down position she was in, while biting on the lock. "You know you need a key, right?" She sighed and dropped the book.

"Yeah, i just wanted to see what you wrote in it!"

"That's why I locked it." I casually took out my MP3 player and looked through my music. "Care to see a modern human invention? Twilight? I know you must be so interested based on my understanding of your OCD for learning." Rainbow laughed to herself and Twilight blushed before accepting the truth that she was indeed curious. Rainbow was as well, so they both walked over. They read the genres as I shuffled through them. Twilight looked stunned but Dash just looked confused and annoyed. "Okay? A moving book. Big whoop."

"Not just a moving book. Pick a genre of music." She thought for a minute and read off a few to herself before answering, "Okay, what's in custom?"

"Those are custom genres that I made."

"That one, then." So I opened it, but inside were different music types. I explained, "Okay, now pick a genre." She thought again, before answering, "What's dubstep?"

"Select and find out." So obviously, she did. "Now Twilight gets to choose a song." Twilight leaned over and rubbed her chin with a hoof, pondering the choices. Finally, she gasped and chose, 'Dubba Johnny - UKF Dubstep Tutorial'. "Wow, Twilight, I guess I was right. You never pass up a chance to learn." She sheepishly smiled and I laughed, "Tutorials..." I put the MP3 player on the table, unplugged the headphones. Before I hit play, I said, "Now know this, in dubstep, there are usually no lyrics. If there are, you usually can't understand them. Also, it's supposed to sound low and guttural, so if yo-"

"Yeah yeah yeah, skip the speech." Rainbow cut me off, "Just play it!"

"Fine." I hit play and at the beginning, both mares were confused. However, once the first section started, Rainbow was lightly bobbing her head. It was almost unnoticeable. Twilight was intently listening. The snare and hi-hats hit and Rainbow was bobbing her head more. Twilight just nodded in acceptance. Then the bass dropped.

So did Rainbow's jaw.

Overused phrase? Who gives? It's true. "Where has this been all these years? It's pretty awesome!" On the other hand, Twilight looked like a mix between freaked out and appalled. It was a short track, and after it was over, Spike came downstairs. "What the heck was that? Sounded like... I have no idea what to compare that to."

"Oh hey Spike. That was just some human music."

"Oh, well could ya' keep it down? Not to be rude, but Twilight and I were up late, and dragons need extra rest when they  stray from  a schedule."

"Not a problem, buddy." I plugged in the ear buds and handed held them out to Rainbow one at a time. "Here, this goes in your right ear, and this goes in your left ear." She hesitantly put them in. Strangely enough, they fit her just fine. I asked her to select a new song. This time she picked 'Skrillex - Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites'. Figures she would. After listening, she told me to replay the last minute and pay attention to what the ending lyrics were...

"~You don't need to hide, my friend. For I am just like you...~" She looked up at me and pushed at my shoulder. "Well," I began, "He is kinda right. We aren't too different. I'm thinking of bridging the only gap as well." She looked confused, and was about to talk when I interrupted her, "Just pick another song, you'll see later."

"Umm... Okay? Go back. Back again." I was at the main screen. "Okay, pick 'Rock and Roll' now." I did that and in this genre she chose, 'Bohemian Rhapsody' because it 'sounded funny'. I played it and she was confused but overall, loved it! "Wow! I mean, I like dubstep but... this is definitely my favorite song yet!"

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Marry me.

(A/N: Hey, all! I hope this makes up for the shortness of the last chapter. Also, this takes care of many issues that I had put off. Now, I want to give a shout-out to MicroUltraMad. Brotha', you're awesome. I appreciate the criticism. Also, I do plan on using your ideas. If anyone else has an idea, please hit me up in a PM.)