Making Ponies Happy

“See you tomorrow!” Pinkie Pie waved as the last customer of the day left the store. As she put up the closed sign, a loud bang resonated from the kitchen. Pinkie jumped. More explosions were heard from the kitchen in quick succession. Pinkie sighed, and galloped over to the kitchen. However, as she approached the door, a box formation of red cupcakes blockaded the doorway. A cupcake hopped forward. This cupcake had a star painted on it with golden frosting.

“Стоп!” it demanded. “то вы?!”

Pinkie stared at it for a moment before shaking her head and taking a step forward.

The cupcakes glowed with magic and turned into an assortment of jewel encrusted rocks that gleamed along jagged contours. They turned their sharp edges towards Pinkie Pie and hovered threateningly. The apparent leader, now a ruby beset chunk of basalt, began singing. “Союз нерушимый республик свободных…”

Pinkie Pie stared the shiny rocks down. “Silly cupcakes. Tricks are for ponies.” She fearlessly continued forward.

The rocks flew at Pinkie. However, just as Pinkie braced for impact, they stopped, magic drained from them. Discord’s head popped out from behind the door.

“Oh, well hello there Pinkie! This batch of cupcakes is revolting! Isn’t it wonderful?” The kitchen was chock full of various sweet pastries, each literally crawling over each other in a writhing mass. While the general trend of motion was towards an oven which seemed to be churning out motionless, non-living pastries, each pastry seemed to be doing something different along the way. Pinkie noted with some joy that a particularly energetic strawberry shortcake was throwing balloons and streamers onto the wall.

“Heya Discord! We’re done for today. Just clean up and you can go home.”

Discord didn’t seem to be paying attention, focusing instead on examining the rock that had been leading the charge against Pinkie. “Say…” he began, turning to face the aforementioned pony. “You never did answer my question.”

Pinkie tilted her head. “What question?”

Discord threw the rock into the air. It sped up, before disappearing into the ceiling without leaving a mark. “Where do the rocks on rock farms go?”

Pinkie felt a weight on top of her head. She fumbled around with her hoof for a moment, before pulling out the missing rock. “You know, I thought about that. My papa told me that pegasi need it for their homes, but I’ve never seen any rocks in Rainbow Dash’s place and I’ve been there loads of times! I thought Rainbow Dash didn’t need rocks because she was so amazing and stuff, but I haven’t seen any rocks in Cloudsdale either! They also don’t have gyrocopters! The first time I went there in mine, a bunch of foals all crowded around me and called it witchcraft! Can you believe it? Me? A witch? I’m a pastry chef! Those aren’t even-”

Discord rolled his eyes. “Yes, that’s terrible. Oh, woe is you!” He tapped his foot impatiently.

“It is terrible!” Pinkie flailed her hooves in the air in emphasis. “Everyone should have a gyrocopter! But I don’t know anything about woe, unless you mean WHOA! It’s a Pinkie Party! I should have a gyrocopter party! We’d teach everyone how to make their own, and then we’d race each other to see who can make the best one! I bet Twilight would love it! She loves learning new things! Ooh! And I bet we can add rockets to Dashie’s so she can go super fast!”

Pinkie reached out and hugged Discord. “That’s a great idea! Thanks for the inspira-what?” As Pinkie embraced Discord, she felt a rough, rocky texture return her touch. Turning to look closer at Discord, she realized that he had turned to stone, his face in the rictus of horror that his physiognomy had taken when the Elements had first defeated him.

Pinkie stared at Discord in horror. “Oh, no no no no no! I didn’t mean to turn you to stone! Bad element! Turn him back right away! Wait, I’m not wearing mine!” She stared suspiciously at the statue. Pinkie twitched her ears and she heard giggling coming from behind her. Sighing, she turned around to see Discord rolling on the floor, struggling to conceal his laughter. Upon being spotted, he saw no point in continuing the charade, and burst out into hysterical laughter.

Pinkie’s mouth twitched upwards, and soon she was on the floor alongside him, giggling and snorting. “You got me good!” cried the pranked prankster of ponyville.

“Bad element!” chortled Discord. “Next you’ll be telling it to roll over and play dead!”

They laughed together for a while, before settling down again.

Discord raised his head from the floor. “You know what?”

Pinkie raised turned her head towards him. “What?”

“You should go ask your parents about those rocks.”

“You know what? I should!”

“Let’s go right now! They’re just a snap of a talon away!”

“Now? But what about the bakery?”

Discord paused, frowning. “Well, maybe I should stay behind and clean up. I don’t think your parents would be too happy with having the spirit of chaos and disharmony showing up at their doorstep anyway.”

Pinkie frowned. “Couldn’t you just snap your talons?”

Discord chortled. “Creator of chaos, remember? That doesn’t clean up messes very well. Besides, you’re just dropping by to say hi. You’ll be there and back in a snap!”

Pinkie’s mouth formed an o shape. “How will you know when I’m ready to come back?”

“Just make some chaos and say my name.” Discord chuckled. “Don’t worry about being mean, though. There are plenty of ways to cause chaos. Playing a prank or making a mess is just as good as breaking a heart or starting a fight. You'll think of something, I'm sure.”

Pinkie took a deep breath. “Okay! Beam me up, Discord!”

Pinkie blinked, and her surroundings changed. Gone were the confectionaries and ovens and bright colours. As she looked around, she found herself in a dank, cavernous room, lit only by two torches on opposite sides of the room. Pinkie saw the silhouettes of eleven earth ponies scattered across the room, in various states of alarm. While the main feature of this room was a circular table with charts and diagrams strewn across its surface, Pinkie Pie’s attention was drawn to the tubular end of a revolver shoved into her face, courtesy of a scarred, cruel looking gryphon.

The gryphon leered down at her. “Who the hell are you?!” it asked.

Pinkie opened her mouth to make a new friend, but a new, familiar voice interrupted. “Pinkamena? Is that you?” A male earth pony with brown skin and grey hair pushed his way to the front of the pack. His wrinkled face peered down at her. “What on Earth are you doing here?”

Pinkie beamed up at him. “Hi papa!”