Soul and Voice

“Twilight, what’re you doing?” Rainbow Dash had caught Twilight in what looked like some deep-breathing exercise while they walked.

Twilight exhaled. “I’m just trying to calm myself down.” She inhaled. Figures. She exhaled. “There’s no point staying frustrated with you.”

“Whatever.”

“Why do you even ask? Can’t you just read my mind?”

“Hey, I’m not always paying attention to what’s going on in your head.”

If only we could just ignore each other this whole trip . . .

Rainbow overheard. “Yeah.”

“If I could just ignore your thoughts, Dashie, I would.”

Dash shot Twilight a glare. Yeah, you don’t do enough ignoring, I guess.

Oh dear, she really is still mad . . . She’s taken it real hard.

Oh, I’m just “taking it hard,” I guess.

Twilight winced. Oooh, my head . . . Dash hit me real hard.

Dash looked over to Twilight, concerned. C’mon, Dash, don’t feel sorry for her now.

Twilight glanced back at Rainbow Dash. Rainbow shot her glance away from Twilight, pretending she hadn’t been looking. She knows she can’t fool me, right?

Crap. Twilight looked away again. A silence. Rainbow turned back to her. “Look,” she sighed, “I’m sorry about crashing into you, alright?”

Twilight had her head down. She sighed. “You did hit me pretty bad. But, thanks anyway.” She tried a smile.

Cheer her up somehow . . . ? That could . . . it could be flirty too . . . Rainbow chuckled. “You looked real goofy when you landed on your ass like that.”

Oh, she’s trying to mess with me now. Wow, I can see her remembering what I looked like . . . Shoot, that did look silly.

“It was kinda cute.”

Twilight scoffed. “Yeah, thanks.” I’m not really in the mood.

Is that what she thinks of the—the whole being flirty thing?

‘What I think of it?’ What’s that mean?

Geez, she’s slow.

“Dash, I feel I should bring this up just in case things get weirder.”

“Weirder?”

“Well, um . . . Well, let’s be honest—ponies think about weird (sometimes inappropriate) things all the time, right?”

“Uh . . . ”

“I mean, be honest. We . . . we all do it, right? Sometimes we just don’t have control over it, right?”

“Yeah, I mean, I guess . . . ”

“Right. And if we don’t really have control over those things we think, it doesn’t necessarily mean anything, right?”

“Yeah . . . ?”

“All I mean is . . . so, if you randomly hear something weird that I’m thinking—or any of us is thinking, really—it shouldn’t really matter. All that matters is what we say out loud. Agreed?”

“Yeah, sure.” Whatever.

There has to be a way to make this trip more tolerable . . . “Y’know, you could always just fly your way back.”

She trying to get rid of me?

“Oh, it’s nothing personal Dashie! You just seem to enjoy yourself more in the sky.”

“Yeah . . . I guess I’m just a bit tired, is all.”

No she isn’t . . .

Dash elaborated, “And I guess I didn’t want you walkin’ home all alone or whatever down here. And we’ll still be able to hear each other even if I’m up there, right?”

“I guess you’re right.” That’s more believable, I guess. Doesn’t seem like she’s lying.

Good, she bought it.

‘Bought it?’ “‘Bought it,’ Rainbow?”

Crap. Oh, she wanted me to hear that. Crap. “I just meant you didn’t think I was hiding something or anything.”

Oh. “Okay, I see.”

“Y’know Twilight, doing the whole telepathy thing on purpose is really confusing when I can hear your brain anyway.”

Oh. Twilight chuckled. “Oops, sorry.” We’re in better moods now, I guess. “So, we’ve still got a ways to go. How should we spend the time?”

“Well,” Rainbow started while Twilight started laughing, “we’re definitely not playing Twenty Questions!” Twilight laughed harder. Wait— “Hey, did you hear my joke before I said anything?”

“Um,” Twilight was still giggling, “yeah, I did. Sorry, Rainbow.”

“Aw, c’mon!” She gave Twilight a little elbow to the shoulder. “That’s no fun!”

Twilight gave a couple of final chuckles then sighed with a smile. She swung her head up and looked around. How lovely! the leaves are all turned color. I guess I didn’t notice (how?). I haven’t really done any biological studies in Whitetail Wood. I guess I’m still a bit rusty on my taxonomy, but let’s give it a try . . . so the trees . . . check the leaves . . . now, the palmate venation and shape suggest maples—so genus Acer. Now the species . . . I’m tempted to say saccharinum—no, it’s rubrum—the three-pointed leaves—so it’s Acer rubrum—common name . . . red maple!—classification: Carl Whinnaeus. That seems right—wait, that tree’s leaves have five points . . . oh! must be a saccharinum—common name silver maple—also Whinnaeus. There are a lot of silver maples here actually. Are there any animals here to identify—?

“Twilight, is your brain always this boring?”

Oh, right. “Oh. Shoot. Sorry, Dashie. I’ll try to keep my mind on something else.”

“Thanks.” Shit, that mighta been too harsh . . .

Well, what do I think about now?

Can’t own up—I already said it . . .

Should we just talk? Like small talk? How do I not bore her?

Too late to own up now, anyway—

Wait, what’s she on about . . . ?

She doesn’t have to know I realized that was rude—SHIT—

“Dash—!” Don’t say anything—SHOOT—!

“Hm?” —Dammit, dammit—I can’t fucking think anything without—!

“Um,” . . . I don’t think I sounded too mean . . . “never mind, Dashie.”

—her hearing. Dammit. I can’t even be polite ‘cause she just reads my mind!

It looks like we’re both trying, at least . . .

Why can’t I be polite just ‘cause she knows what I’m thinking? That’s just stupid!

I guess we can’t be dishonest at all like this. But that doesn’t mean we can’t be polite . . . Courtesy doesn’t always involve deceit, does it?

This’d be a real awkward silence if we weren’t sharing a fucking brain . . .

Twilight heaved a sigh. Oh wow, she stinks.

Dash sniffed. Mmm, yeah I guess. “I kinda like the sweat smell, really.”

Twilight had her face turned away. “I can’t imagine.”

“You’re gonna have to get used to it if we’re gonna hang out!” Twilight chuckled behind her hoof. If she ever pays attention to me.

She’s still mad about that . . .

No shit, genius.

(Maybe I could get used to it . . . )

(Ha.) Is she ever gonna own up about the ignoring thing?

Oh, no. Change the subject.

She’s too scared to say anything. Of course. But what about back then? ‘Always be there for me, will you?’ Maybe I should say something. What should I say . . . ? ‘So when are you gonna stop ignoring me?’ Is that too rude?

She’s basically said it to me already.

Fuck. I have to say something now.

Kree! A hawk cried behind them. The two jumped and looked back. The hawk swooped down from high in the red canopy—sailing on her tawny wings through the air toward them. They spun their little heads round and ducked as she whooshed over them—soared past them into the setting sun. Kree! The hawk beat her wings and curved her path upward and rightward, finding her perch beside her mate in a high maple.

The two had started their walk again. Rainbow gave Twilight a smirk. “Pretty awesome.”

Twilight smiled back. “I’ll say.”

“See, that’s why you should come out here more often.”

“It was pretty cool.” Twilight gave Rainbow a light nudge. Rainbow’s pink eyes grew and she spun her head to Twilight. That felt weird.

Where did that come from?

Twilight cleared her throat. “By the way Dashie, that was a hawk.”

“Huh?”

“You thought it was an eagle, right?”

“Oh. Whatever. Same thing.”

“Not really. Well, I guess “hawk” and “eagle” are kinda polyphyletic terms. Still, I believe that was a Red-tailed hawk—Buteo jamaicensis I think—classified by J.F. Gmelin sometime in the late eighteenth century—”

“Twilight?”

“Oh. Ruining the moment. Sorry.”

They were walking past the tree where the hawks were perched. Their bubbling thoughts from their conversation had calmed. For a moment, the only thoughts their minds thought were of the scenery. The sun hung low before them in the sky wrapped in golden cloth. The forest sighed. The red maple leaves tired, and yielded their vibrancy to the coming night. Their minds remarked on the scenery, with no cause for reflection.

Fuck, gotta piss.

Oh. Right.

Crap.

I guess I do, too . . . The two stopped. They stood reddened for a moment. Rainbow broke the silence. “Um . . . ”

“Yeah, we can take a little rest-stop here if you need to. You can head behind the trees that way and I’ll go the other way.”

“We can still hear each other though, right?”

“Yeah, I guess there’s no avoiding that . . . ” They stood avoiding each other’s gaze for another moment. A songbird chirped in the distance. “We don’t have much choice, do we?”

“I guess not.” Rainbow took a shaky step back. “See you back here?”

“Yeah. It’ll be just a minute.” They went their separate ways.

It’s not like I’ll be thinking of anything embarrassing. (These trees are too small . . . )

That’s what I was thinking.

It’s not like ‘Oh, hey, time to piss—gotta stand here, let it out of my p—’ fuck. Dammit—embarrassing.

Oh.

Can’t unthink that, dammit. That sounded stupid.

“Don’t worry, Dashie, we all think stupid stuff, remember?”

And she heard. Right. Fuck.

Maybe shouldn’t have let her know I heard that? She had to’ve known. I rubbed it in, though.

Dammit, dammit, dammit—unthink it, unthink it, unthink it . . .

Gosh, now I feel bad . . .

“Don’t freak out Twilight, it was just stupid.” Stupid, stupid, stupid . . .

She wants to make me feel better; that’s good—she can’t be too mad at me. Well, she can’t be; I don’t hear any sign of her being mad.

“I’m just mad at myself, I guess.”

“It’s alright, Dashie.” Nothing else to comfort her with. All of this freakout just over something she thought . . . Need a way to make her feel better . . .

Rainbow found the backside of a tree large enough to hide behind. She looked back and saw no sign of Twilight’s purple. With a soft sigh, Rainbow positioned herself behind the tree. She needed somewhere else for her train of thought to be.

“Find a place?” Still kinda awkward.

“Mmhm.” A bit awkward.

Rainbow Dash felt a bit better. She sensed that Twilight knew this and was a bit reassured herself. Rainbow let out a more relieved sigh, spread her legs back, and relaxed herself. After a moment, her water came gently spraying out in a sparkling yellow stream, drizzling up a soggy muddy puddle.

“So, how’s it goin’ over there?” Definitely awkward.

“Oh, shut up.” Definitely.

I kinda liked that little bit of openness. Gives me a sorta adrenaline feeling.

No way . . . Well of course she would think that. I’ll grant her, there’s something to that feeling. Almost jealous she was more open than me and probably felt more of it than I.

I knew she liked it. But if she likes it, why won’t she open up more? Like then. ‘Always be there for me, will you?’

She wants me to open up more? Like, how? But . . . I don’t know. I . . . can’t.

She can’t?

I just can’t.

Rainbow let her mind flow through Twilight’s. Twilight was less focused on thinking now, and had moved her mind’s attention backwards—between her legs. Twilight was being frustrating. Rainbow didn’t have much respect for her privacy at that moment. Rainbow could feel the water flowing from Twilight with her. She could feel it as if it were her own body: the very place where Twilight’s piss fizzed and dripped over and through that tiny hole of sensitive skin. For a moment, Rainbow could savor the wonderful oneness with Twilight’s body.

Rainbow . . .

“Hm?”

Rainbow finished trickling. She shook her ass a bit and the last few drips dropped and plopped in the mud. She looked around. Still weird doing it out here . . . She shrugged and followed her way back to the path.

Twilight was just finishing up herself. She cleaned herself off with her magic and trotted back to the path.

Oh yeah, she has magic. That’s convenient.

Right. she can’t do much about that out here, I suppose. “Y’know, Rainbow, I could maybe . . . ”

Would she?

—no-no-no-no-no—I couldn’t do that—why did I even bring it up?

Dammit . . . Throw me a bone, will ya, Twi?

They found each other back on the path. They stared at each other.

To think she was just—

To think she was just—

Twilight gestured east on the path. “Shall we?”

“Yeah, gotta get home sometime.”

“It’s getting late.” They trotted along. The sun had set beyond the hills.

I can’t believe I almost offered to do that for her . . .

Me too, actually . . .

Wipe her off with my magic . . . And I think she wanted me to . . .

Well . . . (kinda) . . . I dunno.

Oh dear, I just . . . I don’t know . . . I can’t . . .

Ugh. She never can.

Oh God, this is so awkward . . . make it stop . . . all that stuff she heard me think—that I

heard her think—

Damn, Twilight . . .

—I can’t hide anything from her! “Rainbow Dash, are you sure you don’t wanna just fly the way back?”

Without her—?

No, that won’t help—

“Twilight, I can still hear you when I’m up there, remember—?”

“I know, I know! I just . . . I dunno if I can take this anymore . . . ” She was slowing her pace.

“Me neither.” Rainbow stopped and looked back. Twilight had stopped behind her. She had her head down, shuddering.

Help me . . .

This isn’t right. She’s stronger than this.

No, I’m not . . .

She always keeps it together.

I can’t . . .

‘Always be there . . . ’

. . . So she—

Rainbow marched over to Twilight. She planted a hoof on her shoulder.

. . . Thank you. Twilight looked up at Rainbow. Rainbow grinned. Twilight chuckled before Dash spoke.

“C’mon ya dork.” She eased Twilight back onto their path. “We can pull through this easy. Look, we’ll keep going until dark—”

Ohhh . . .

“Chill out, chill out—”

“I’m sorry; keep going.”

“—then we can set up a camp for the night.” And then, maybe we’ll— “We won’t have to deal with each other when we’re asleep, right?”

I guess . . .

“We can set up a camp, right?”

Twilight looked up. “Of course. If we can just find some wood, I can start a fire with magic.”

“Yeah! See? Piece a’ cake!”

“We’ll still have to walk back in the morning, though.”

“Yeah, but . . . ” Didn’t really think about that.

I had a feeling.

I could always go ahead in the morning—no, her place is locked . . . What if—

I could do it—wait, no—

“Perfect! You can go!”

“I—I take it back.”

“Huh?”

“Rainbow Dash, I’m not gonna leave you out here by yourself.”

“Hey, I’ll be fine!”

“What’ll you do if a bear comes in the night? You might not have time to fly away.”

“There are bears out here?” Dash looked around.

“I mean, most likely.”

That is kinda scary . . . “Well, anyway I’ll be fine. You know me!” We’ll just stay away from any bear caves . . .

“Rainbow,” Twilight put her hoof on her shoulder. They stopped on the path. “I’m not leaving you out here.”

Twilight . . . does she . . . ?

Wrong message . . . ?

They hugged. Dash gave her an extra squeeze.

Did she think I meant more . . . ? I . . . I really didn’t . . .

She had to. She’s fooling herself.

They let go.

Dang, she had my mind distracted from this for a bit, too—talk of bears and stuff—the camp—

Right— “Alright, Twilight.” They started moving again. “Let’s just keep going till dark.”

“What about morning?”

“We’ll see!”

“No plan?”

“Nah. We’ll take care of all that later. We just need some shut-eye first. A break, ya know? Then we’ll be outta the woods in no time!” She gave Twilight a nudge. “Am I right?”

Twilight smiled. Geez. I’m supposed to be the leader, Dashie.

“Things are just different right now, y’know? Sharing a brain and all.”

It’s certainly not the way it should be.

She’s been mushy like this before, though . . .

. . . Right . . . “Um . . . Rainbow Dash . . . ?”

“I sorta already know what you’re gonna ask me about.”

“Oh. Right.” Twilight looked up. “So, that one night? When I was talking about being lonely?”

‘No, I haven’t had a boyfriend, really . . . ’

‘Things can get lonely around here . . . ’ “Right.”

She read into it too much . . .

Of course. She ‘just can’t.’

“That was . . . I’d had a bad day, I guess . . . I was under a lot of stress . . . I just got a bit emotional.”

Don’t do it like this . . . “Yeah, so?”

“I didn’t want you to get the wrong idea is all.”

“Wrong idea?”

“I mean . . . ” Don’t make me be the one to say it, Dash; you know what I’m talking about . . .

Not gonna listen— “It’s alright if you thought you got too personal, Twilight. I don’t gotta hear everything that’s on your mind. But we’re still friends, and I’m still gonna be there for ya.”

Dash, do you think you can fool me?

Dammit, I’m gonna try.

She can’t keep it bottled up forever.

I won’t. (Tonight—when we make the camp—)

Oh no.

Fuck. (‘I can’t fucking think anything without her hearing—’)

She’s gonna try to make a move . . .

Gotta change the subject— “Hey, Twilight?”

“Hm?” Yes, please change the subject.

“Um . . . ” Shit, whaddo I talk about?

It’s almost dark—

Bears? That eagle?

This is too much for us—

It’s so hard not thinking about stuff—

It’d be weird, but I could try—

Huh—?

“Hey Rainbow! I’ll race ya!” Twilight galloped on ahead—over clouds of dust—into the darkening woods.

Huh? “Twilight?” Twilight kept running. “Twilight!?”

C’mon. “C’mon, Dashie!”

I’m supposed to be the one—aw, she’s getting away— Dash smirked. “Oh no you don’t!” Dash darted on after her. “Race me where!?”

“Does it matter!?”

“How’m I gonna know when I beat you!?”

“Well,” Twilight was panting, “till it’s dark, I guess!” She looked back at Rainbow. “Or till we can’t run anymore! Whichever comes first!”

“Oh, you’re on!” Dash bore her head down in the wind and chased her friend through the trees—into the pinkening twilight.

“Pacing yourself won’t work this time!”

Twilight laughed. Running of the Leaves.

That was here, wasn’t it . . . ‘You tied!’

‘For last!’ ‘LAST?’

‘ . . . but I did fifth place, which is rather good considering I’ve never run a race before.’

“Ha ha ha!” Twilight still galloped ahead of Rainbow.

That little . . . “Come back here, you!” Rainbow plowed on behind Twilight.

Ha. She likes this.

“I like beating you, twerp!” The laughed as they ran. Rainbow was closing the gap.

“What’s wrong Rainbow! I didn’t get too much of a head-start, did I?” Keep it up. It’ll be dark soon.

“Just you wait!” Rainbow was just behind Twilight now. Twilight’s pinkpurple tail swung out and dragged through the air behind her—it nodded and bobbed—skipped and jerked with her galloping hooves—exposing the tight plump folds of plum plot—that fat, shiny skirt of skin over sweet pink— Crap crap crap—look away—forget—can’t—CRAP—That night—she trips over the books—Then today—‘You looked real goofy when you landed on your ass like that . . . It was kinda cute.’ God that sounded stupid—!

What’s she—oh no—I don’t believe it. Rainbow . . .

Fuck—! She knows—!

Twilight started to turn her head back, but stopped herself. Does she always do this—? A hoof of hers tripped on the ground, but she caught her balance.

—Can’t pretend she doesn’t know—gotta get out— Dash plowed ahead Twilight. “See you up ahead, yeah?” She gave Twilight a smirk then raced on. —Get out—get out—get out—get out—

Dash’s nethers showed as she ran—dark blue folds of skin—tight—taut between toned muscles of rump—big plumps over her strong running legs. Twilight turned her head away. Stop—! What’s gotten into me? Maybe she’s getting to me— Dash was running out of sight.

—Get out—get out—get out—C’mon, sun! Move already! Dammit, Celestia—

—I can’t get that image out—!

They carried terrible images of each other as they ran. They racked their brains—they warped their thoughts—bending—breaking—beating their own minds to expunge those images from them. Their minds fed off each others desperation. They sought some untouched crevice in themselves—some privacy—but their minds flowed just as freely through each other’s. The dizziness—the nausea—it grew, like a suffocating cloud in the coming dark they ran through. The glowing pink of the sky had given way to a dark blue, as the great black basin of night settled upon the world.