Soul and Voice

Rainbow Dash came upon a clearing. The first few stars of night were poking through the firmament. Venus shone bright behind her. It’s so dark already. Not night yet. Close enough. We can set up here. We can’t go on anyway.

The camp! Something else to think about! Twilight still ran behind, out of sight of Rainbow Dash. “Did you find a place?”

“Yeah, this should work. I’ll just wait for you here” Did I spoil it? Any chance now?

She’s still thinking of making a move . . .

I can’t really be subtle about anything . . .

I can’t believe it Rainbow Dash . . . Why me . . . ?

She’s gonna say no . . . She’s gonna make us talk, and she’s gonna say no . . . She’s been putting this off . . .

We’ve come so far without breaking down . . . I don’t wanna ruin it now . . .

Why should I take what her brain says seriously? She could just be lying to herself. She has to be interested.

Right before we set up camp, go to sleep, then fix this whole business tomorrow morning . . . How is anything gonna go back to normal after this?

How could it go back to normal? Either she stops lying to herself, or she’ll never speak to me again.

‘She can’t keep this bottled up forever.’

‘I won’t.’

How am I gonna handle this? Talking with her? Talking talking with her? I’m so bad at this stuff.

She’ll say yes. She has to. I can still play it cool.

Twilight saw Rainbow Dash standing in the clearing ahead of her. Twilight’s pace fell. She trotted up to Rainbow. Rainbow glanced back, then returned to looking around the clearing.

“Looks like I won, Twilight.” Dash gave her a quick smirk. Twilight panted hard through her nose. Her expression was blank. Dash turned her rear to Twilight, looking around. Her tail flicked back and forth. “So should we go grab some wood and start setting up camp?”

“Rainbow Dash, we need to talk.”

Keep it cool . . .

Be gentle with her . . .

Dash pretended to still be looking around. She had her front hooves crossed and showed off her rump. “Mmm, yeah? About what?”

“Dash . . . Don’t try to fool me . . . ”

That would only end one way. Dash had an image. An image of herself conceding to Twilight. Of Twilight in command of her, voicing a stern “no.” Of herself kneeling at Twilight’s feet. Of herself in defeat. Dash’s heart raced as she heard those canned lines bubbling in Twilight’s mind:

‘—Dashie, I really appreciate your friendship—’

‘—I just don’t think I’m really interested in girls—’

‘—I could maybe help you find someone else—’

‘—Maybe we need some time away from each other—’

‘—Maybe we should stop hanging out—’

Is she okay?

“No . . . ” Dash took a step back. “No! NO!” She dropped her body to the ground and threw her hooves over her head. I won’t let her say no to me.

Oh my God. “ . . . Dashie . . . ” Twilight took a couple of steps toward her. Rainbow was quivering under her hooves. She wasn’t like this earlier . . . “Dashie, look, we made it! We made it till dark without a breakdown. We found a clearing. We just need to set up camp and get to sleep! We’ll be outta the woods, like you said!”

Someone, make it stop . . .

Twilight kneeled before Rainbow. She put a hoof on her little rainbow head. Dash flinched. She peeked up at Twilight. Twilight stared into her eyes. “I promised you I wouldn’t leave you out here. We will make it back home. Together.” She touched her horn. “I’m gonna fix this,” she touched Dash’s head, “then we’re gonna fix this.”

Dash hid back in her hooves. She needs me to comfort her more . . . How can I, without . . .

“Dashie, this is my fault. I’m the one who dragged us both out here. It was my spell that screwed up, and I don’t even know why. And I didn’t even watch you fly. I’ll never forgive myself for today.”

This doesn’t help . . .

Twilight sighed. She smiled. Dash looked up at her before she spoke. “Y’know, if I could’ve shared a brain with anypony, I’m glad it was you.” Dash stared at her, her little mouth open. Her face was so close.

What’d I just say?

Did she—?

The forest sizzled with silence, yet their minds boiled—steamed with wild, disjointed, contorted thoughts. Their gazes froze one another—their eyes poured vicious, scalding thirsts into one another. Their chests emptied—turned to steam—and their minds burned. Dash inched her head, shaking in the scalding air. Twilight’s head quivered its way down, starting and stopping. Their minds boiled together as one. Their thirsts walked their little heads together. Their eyes closed. Their lips met. Cool water poured through their souls, splashed all around, and their thoughts steamed away—the forest danced around them—the stars jingled above like little bell-lings—sparkles rained from the sky and dashed in circles around them—colorful splashes of magic glowed and burst everywhere.

Twilight . . .

It’s so . . .

. . . there’s so much of you . . .

. . . so sweet . . .

Rainbow opened her mouth and eased her tongue through.

No . . . no—no, wait—I can’t—

Twilight—

Twilight pulled her head away. Dash half-opened her eyes. Her little tongue still hung out.

Please . . .

That was stupid. Twilight stood up and turned away. Dash moaned.

It’s over now—she’ll never speak to me again—

What can I do now? “We need to set up camp. I’m gonna go out to look for some dry wood. You can go the other way if you want.”

‘ . . . if you randomly hear something weird I’m thinking . . . it shouldn’t matter.’

‘What’s gotten into me?’

‘I just can’t.’

Dash grit her teeth. She dug her hooves in the dirt and pushed her body off the ground. “No! You bitch! You’re just a fucking TEASE!” It’s all she’s ever done.

Rainbow . . .

Oh, wow. That really hurt her. Can I really hurt people that bad . . . ?

“Rainbow Dash, if you don’t want to talk seriously about this, then I have no reason to respond to you.”

There’s no chance of anything now, now that we’re both pissed.

“I’ve heard the shit you’ve been thinking all this time! I know you’re into this!”

“Rainbow, you remember what I said about that—”

“So? Why should I only care about what you say aloud? You only say that stuff because you’re too scared to say you like me!” I’m so right. (But I never really told her I liked—)

. . .

“I’m going now. You can look too if you want.”

“FINE! I’ll be needing my own fire, since it looks like I won’t be sleeping with you anyway!” Dash spun around and stormed off in the other direction. She glanced back briefly—just in time to see Twilight marching away from the clearing. Twilight’s tail was twitching in frustration, enough for Rainbow Dash to get a another glimpse of her nethers—the dark skin of Twilight’s pursed lips barely peeking out from between her two plump purple plot cheeks. Rainbow savored that image, then turned back to her path and marched into the woods.

I’ll just let her get rid of that image—surely she just saw that on accident.

Yeah, I feel like pissing her off.

No . . . no, she’s trying to remember it!

“You bet that ass I am.”

“RAINBOW DASH!”

“That’s my name.”

“That is MY body! You can’t use me like that!”

“Well this is MY head! Why don’t you just get out already!?”

“Forget it, or I’ll make you forget it. You know I could if I wanted to.”

Mmm, such a sweet ass—.

“RAINBOW, STOP!” Oh no. Gonna cry now . . . I’m alone, but she’s gonna find out.

Serves her right. Wait—oh God. I can’t do that to her. I could. Wait, please, Twilight, don’t . . .

Rainbow, this isn’t you—“Just stop!”

She can see what I see. She knows what I deal with looking at everyday.

And she could see it all, too—embarrassing—don’t look—forget—get it out—

“Yeah, look at what you tease me with everyday!” Not cool; can’t let her know I’m crying—don’t think about it, don’t—

No, I can’t be guilty just for hanging out with her. The way she feels around me isn’t my fault. What does she even see in me?

Loot at me—on the ground sobbing like a doofus.

Someone just make this stop . . .

I don’t care if she knows what I’m doing anymore. And I dunno why.

I was the one who screwed it up in the first place . . .

Twilight, please—. I l—I dunno—I want you—.

How long . . . have you, Rainbow Dash . . . ?

I need you—someone—.

I—I dunno . . . what I want . . .

—I could do it here—I need it—

Rainbow, don’t . . .

I don’t care if she knows what I’m doing anymore.

Oh no. That image of me again . . . and the one from before . . .

If she won’t give it to me—.

She’s still sobbing . . . me too . . .

—It’s like she’s right next to me—

Now she’s getting to me—oh no . . .

—I can see her—

. . . Her hooves are down there . . .

—Oh God, Twilight—

. . . I can’t . . . no way—not here . . .

—take me—kiss me—

. . . Rainbow, I never . . . I . . . don’t know . . .

—I need your mouth, Twilight . . .

. . . I can see the two of us together—we’re . . .

. . . mmn . . .

. . . What am I doing . . . ? I . . . this isn’t . . .

—lick me all over, Twilight—

. . . Rainbow, slow down . . .

—I need you—now—

. . . hold on . . .

—oh God, lower—

. . . no . . . (yes) . . . no, wait . . .

—c’mon, you want this, Twi—

No! . . . I . . .

—o-o-O-OHH—!

. . . She’s got me licking her now . . . OH—!

—yeah, tease my clit—like that—

. . . I can see us so clearly . . .

OH—! Mmm, yeah—

. . . it’s like I’m the one imagining it . . . mmm . . .

—oh FUCK—your tongue’s so GOOD—! —Don’t stop—

. . . Ohhh, I can’t stop . . .

—Oh, fuck—I’m almost there!

. . . Oh no, she’s really gonna . . . not while I’m here—

—Mnnnnnf—! Oooohhh—wait for it—

. . . She stopped . . . ?

—Not until she’s there—

. . . I can’t go all the way . . . but—OHH . . . !

—Yeah, keep going—

. . . Dash, it’s like you’re watching . . .

—Run those hooves all over—

. . . Oh God, I’m so wet . . .

—Mmm, yeah—we both are—we’re so dirty—

. . . OHH—talking to me like that—

—You like it—?

. . . My clit’s so hard . . . the wind blowing on it . . .

—Fuck, me too—

. . . God, I need more—

—A spell—?

. . . Mmm, bigger . . .

—Oh, shit—she’s fucking herself with magic—

. . . Unh! Unh! Unh! . . .

—It’s like a big dick—

. . . Even bigger now . . .

—Damn, she’s tight—mmm—so hot—

. . . Oh, Dashie . . . !

—Yeah, it’s like I’m fuckin’ you, huh—?

. . . No . . . —but—mmm, yeah—give it to me—

—Tell me you want it—

. . . I can’t . . .

—Oh God—I’m close—!

. . . Unh . . .

—Twilight—

. . . Unh . . . !

—Twilight, I love you so fucking much—

—Fuck me—!

—Ohhh—I’m there! Oh God! I’m cumming—!

. . . Oh God, she’s cumming—

Dash stood on her knees—her hooves glued to her pussy—wet—burning—squishing—her hips convulsed and thrusted—her tongue drooled out—mixed with her sticky juices—she fucked her hooves—

—OHH—Ah—Mmnnnnnnn—ohhHH—! Oh fuck—!

—I can feel her—

—Ohhh—! (Yeah, feel this, Twi)—ohhhh—! Mmmmnn—

—her wings twitching—the moaning—squirting—

Mmm . . . Mmmmmm . . .

“oOOOHH!” Dash heard Twilight cry out in the night. Twilight laid on her back—mouth gaping open—she pulled her hoof away from her clit—her horsecock spell glowed and throbbed—shooting warmth all through her—she bucked her hips upward—her skin electrocuted all over—her hair stood up—her pussy leaked sticky globs of juice everywhere—running down her ass—she moaned and cried little sweet calls for Rainbow to hear.

Rainbow felt it all—like it was her own body—she was at it again—on her back now—Twilight bent over her this time—fucking her deep—with something—something big and veiny—warm—throbbing—she was so full—white, silky, glowy feelings of flesh feeling and filling her—big, leathery—it kissed her inside—her pussy kissed it back and sucked on it—she looked up at Twilight—her purple lids were low and she wore a smirk—enjoying Dash’s show—Dash submitted herself to Twilight’s gaze and let Twilight rule her—

—Oh, fuck, Twilight—take me—

“Ahn, ahn—AH—! OOHHH!” Twilight laid on her back panting when Rainbow cried out far away. The trees stood pale in the dark; stars shone in the great black, and they watched the two give themselves totally—to no one—there in the cool autumn night.

Rainbow Dash fell on her side, panting big puffs of air. She laid there in a circle of trees, stretched out in the open, covered in dirt, leaves, and sweet, globby juices. Her big eyes felt heavy. She closed them and smiled. She heaved in a big breath of air, smelling the cool night air, the leaves, the soil, and the sweet smell that danced around her thighs and hooves.

The moments were at once unreal and dreamlike, and then real and vivid. Everything drowned in itself—everything real became fountains of darkness and stars—thoughts became void—nothingness filled everything—the universe swirled—and entered a dreamless sleep—

and then—

A grey appearing in dark before her—clouds—a dream?—eyes—hers—she had fallen asleep—the ground—dirt—grass—cool air—the forest—the fight—the—then the . . . — . . . Twilight. It had been real.

Rainbow Dash opened her eyes. It was still dark. She was laying on her right side with her hooves curled up beside her. Her thighs were sticky and she still reeked of her scent. She arched her back and looked around. She tossed herself to her other side.

The spell.

“ . . . Twilight . . . ?”

. . . Rainbow. “ . . . Rainbow? Are you awake . . . ?”

“Twilight, where are you?”

“I’m at the library. I wanted you to know where I am before I undo the spell.”

She actually went ahead? “Wait—now?”

“I’m doing it right now.”

“Twilight, wait . . . ”

“Just make it home okay.”

“Twilight, stop!”

“Rainbow, I’m sorry.”

“Twilight! . . . Wait! . . . Stop!

“ . . . Twilight . . . ?”

The forest stood in silent stillness. Around her, the silence numbed the air. Grey trees peered pale from the blackness. High above, the black stars rained nothingness.

Globs of tears had clouded her eyes. Her little lip quivered. Rainbow Dash collapsed on the dead ground. She curled up her little head to her hooves and sobbed as she was drenched and suffocated in emptiness. This is all my fault. Hiccups bubbled inside her—she sniffed and blubbered. She wailed out to the nobody that would hear. Her cries echoed off nothing and back to no one. The loneliness made her sick. It shrieked and howled, clanging and banging a deafening racket in her bleeding ears. She’ll never speak to me again. Rainbow imagined her magical friend cuddling her warmth with her, singing for her. But they would be no closer than they were now. She only sobbed harder. She had cut herself open for her—spilt blood, ripped apart her bones, thrown out her flesh, torn out her heart and given her her soul—and Twilight didn’t want it. It was nauseating. The world was spinning. She wallowed in the terrible everything.

“Come back . . . ”

No one heard.

Tweet-tweet! A little songbird chirped in the trees. Rainbow covered her ears. She shuddered. Tweet! She buried her head in the ground. Tweet! Rainbow squeezed her watery eyes open. Tweet-tweet! Rainbow heaved her head up, spitting out dirt. She still had a few more whimpers in her. She looked up and around. The bird was nowhere to be found—hidden beyond branches and darkness.

Rainbow rolled onto her back. She gazed into the dulled black nothingness. There was so much of it out there. The terrible distances and wides—fars and breadths—they stretched the black void through time and space. She would be lost in the nothingness forever. It was an empty chaos created by no one simply so she would be the smallest thing in it.

Rainbow Dash hoisted a hoof high. She pointed to the stars. She jerked her hoof around in random, jagged patterns. Then she found herself pointing to stars, making shapes out of them. She drew the pointed stars of Twilight’s cutie mark. She shuddered imagining its shape there. Her lip curled. She jerked her hoof back and forth across the sky, erasing the shape of the sparkled cutie mark. Her hoof tired and fell next to her. She laid there for a moment. Sprawled out on the dirt ground, looking into the sky. The shapes had gone.

Dim daylight was just pouring from the east. The stars still filled the sky beyond the light of daybreak. The sky seemed to brighten every time she blinked her moist eyes. As it came, the morning brought nothing.

She shuddered. She lifted her hoof again. She wobbled it around, drawing a random curve. She found her hoof at the edge of a tree she could see from below, and drew a bouncing motion off it. Her hoof bounced back and forth along the edge of the canopy. She found it resting at the edge of a tree again, then lifted it off into the empty sky, like a take-off motion. Her hoof shot straight up—then fell back toward the edge of the trees. It swerved back into the sky before hitting the trees and waved around the sky—flying back in forth—in loops—up and down—around—. Rainbow Dash brought her other hoof into the sky, and braced them both forward into the wind. She stretched her wings and beat them behind her. She shut her eyes. She was flying. Everyone was watching her. Dash could feel the wind rushing in her face—through her colored mane—it matted her fur—met her lips—caressed her mane—it held her—explored every curve—crevice—

then let her free—!

And they were cheering her name.

Dash opened her eyes and her hooves dropped. She lifted her hoof again to draw in the stars—but this time, spelled out her name, in big capital letters. When she finished the final H, she went back and drew her cutie mark in the stars on top of the letters. She let her hoof draw a big circle around her work for a bit, then let it fall for the last time. She laid sprawled out for another moment in that circle of trees, under those white lights.

Tweet!

Finally, she heaved a shaky sigh and pulled herself up. Her legs wobbled. She gazed into the darkness around her. Twilight was gone. Dash blinked her foggy eyes again and smiled sadly to herself. She missed this heady feeling of freedom. She yawned, stretching her legs and wings, then stared off into space—pondering for a moment. She thought of herself on the ground moments ago. An echo of that feeling came back. Absolute terror. Dread then despair. She just noticed the soft stringing of crickets that had been filling the night. It had been settled over her this whole time.

Dash came to. She was standing ahoof. Alive yet. She threw her head up. She set her sights east, and galloped off toward the pale blue morning light.

Along the way, Rainbow Dash spotted a cloudling from beneath the trees and flew up to it. She perched on it, ripped off and heaved an armful of wet fluff from the cloud, and cleaned herself with it—washing away her sticky mess and smell. The cloud’s moisture spent, she stood and shook herself dry, then dove down, tearing through the cloud, back into the forest to continue on her path.

At last, Rainbow Dash found the houses of Ponyville resting before her. All was still. A light fog was settled over the town. The lamps were still lit. A faint golden glow sat on the horizon—the sky a lovely lavender. No one had yet woken.

Rainbow Dash breathed in the chilly autumn morning air. She shivered. She sighed. She smiled at the familiar buildings as she strolled into town.

Thought I’d never get back here. She looked around town to make sure nopony was up and about. She wandered around, headed nowhere in particular. Her mind was racing.

Whaddo I do? I wanna just fly home, right now, and sleep the rest of the morning in. That’d be nice, and I need the sleep. But I dunno if I’d even be able to sleep. I woke up so early back in the forest—I’ve been up flying—walking for a while . . . And Twilight’s in that library somewhere. She’s so close. She could be crying in her bed somewhere. Maybe she told the whole gang and they’re there right now. Then everyone would hate me . . . Or maybe she doesn’t care about me at all and she just went back to bed. I mean, she did ignore me all day. How did she sound when she last talked to me? ‘Rainbow, I’m sorry.’ She could just be humoring me. ‘Just make it home okay.’ Same thing there. ‘I wanted you to know where I am before . . . ’ And there. But I thought she sounded pretty worried when she said it . . . She didn’t have to say those things. She coulda just left me there in the woods (but she kinda did) . . .

I gotta fix this. How? Howhowhowhowhow . . . ? I was such a bitch to her . . . ‘Yeah, look at what you tease me with!’ ‘Why don’t you just get out already!?’ And then I made her do that with me. She didn’t want to do it. I was just kidding myself. Maybe she did. I don’t care. I was still wrong. How will I be able to talk to her again? How will I be able to look at her again? (I haven’t even seen her face since then . . . ) ‘Serves you right, Egghead!’ ‘—psycho brain shit—!’ ‘You’re just a fucking TEASE!’ No wonder she hates me now.

Hates me? .’ ‘Don’t worry, Dashie.’ ‘ . . . don’t think I sounded too mean . . . ’ ‘I’ll race ya!’ And all those times she laughed with me. She liked me then . . .

‘Just make it home okay.’ ‘Twilight, stop!’ She just left me. Alone in the woods. But we couldn’t hide anything from each other. We both couldn’t stand the spell anymore. She had to go ahead . . . The spell! Maybe it isn’t my fault! None of this would’ve happened if it weren’t for that dumb spell! But . . . he spell didn’t make me jack off to her though (did it?) . . . God, I’m such a cunt.

Dash started pacing through the empty streets. She lowered her head and brow, thinking. C’mon, Dash! That shit’s already happened. How do we fix it? ‘At least talk to me for real instead of your psycho brain shit.’ ‘If she really wanted to know, she would only need ask.’ I kinda wanna just punch her in the face now. Stupid spell. And she never even saw me fly. I should just go to her place and giver her one—right in the kisser! If she’s even awake . . . (Maybe if I snuck in—) No. She’d get Celestia to exile me outta Ponyville if I did.

‘At least talk to me for real . . . ’ ‘I didn’t say it; I thought it! I don’t have control over that!’ ‘All that matters is what we say aloud.’ When was the last time we actually talked? Like, mushy-talk talked? About our feelings an’ shit? Kinda lame, I guess . . . Kinda really lame. ‘So when are you gonna stop ignoring me?’ ‘Rainbow, we need to talk.’ ‘Always be there for me, will you?’ Would she even talk back? ‘I . . . can’t.’ ‘I just can’t’ She’d never listen to me now anyway. If she’s even awake . . . I’d just feel like slugging her anyway.

Rainbow Dash stopped. She stood before Twilight’s treehouse library. It was a menacing silhouette behind the morning light. I can’t. I just can’t. I should just go back to bed. But I left my book at her place . . . No. It’d just make me think about her anyway. I can just take a long nap and forget about all this shit.

I really wanna finish that Daring Do book though . . . No way I could get it from her. I can’t sneak in. No way.

Twilight . . . why did this shit have to happen to us?

Fine, I’ll . . . I’ll just ask her.

I’ll just ask her.

Rainbow Dash grimaced. She trudged on up the path. Her head hung low, glaring at the trimmed grass beneath her hooves. Each blade cast a long, pointed shadow toward her. She came under the treehouse’s giant shadow. Her pace slowed briefly, but picked up again. Dash looked up. None of the lights was on. She kept going. She dropped her head low. She looked up again. She looked around. No one else was out. She looked ahead again. In the morning light, one final star sparkled through the branches of Twilight’s house.

Rainbow bumped into a door. She hadn’t been looking. She looked around again. No one was out. She backed away from the red library door. She stared at the candle pictured on the door. The black handles jutting out at her. The paint was peeling. She looked behind her again just to make sure. She turned back to the door. She heaved a sigh. She raised a hoof. She knocked once. Twice. Thrice. She held her hoof there for a second. She let it fall and took another step back. She heaved another sigh. Birds chirped somewhere in the distance. The leaves of the treehouse rustled.

Hooves. Slow. Rainbow heard them approaching behind the door. The handle clicked. The door swung open with a rush of air. Twilight was there. Rainbow’s breath caught. Twilight was wet from showering. Her expression was blank. Her eyes looked tired.

Rainbow’s mouth was hung half open. “C-can . . . I think I left—”

A bird chirped.

Rainbow took a deep breath. “Can we talk?”