I found myself surrounded by blackness... again. But this time it was different. I saw something materialize in the darkness. A demonic figure that look like a shadowy palate/effect-swap of the Balrog. It look at me, inspecting my every detail.
"Welcome home... brother." It said in a tone that was as demonic as it's appearance. After hearing this, I said the only rational thing that came to mind.
"What?"
"I do not expect you to remember, as you were but an infant." He said.
"Wait. If you are my brother, doesn't that mean I'm at least half demon?"I said.
"Yes that makes you half demon." He said.
"So I'm half demon. That would explain my powers." I realized.
"Those powers are but mere fractions of you full, dark potential. Kudos on your plan by the way." He said.
"So, the powers I've already used are just basic powers? This will be Awesome ." I said.
"Indeed. I am Rahamaug, by the way." Rahamaug said.
"So bro, can you teach me some cool abilities?" I said, exited to pull off more badass shit. Rahamaug chuckled.
"No. And the fact that your brother is a demon doesn't surprise you in the least?" He said.
"One does not simply, go to Equestria and be come surprised by anything ever again. By the way, where are we?" I said

"This is the abyssal blackness. Or as you know it, Hell." He said.
"Needs more hell-fire" I said.
"This is only the visitor's center." He retorted.
"Makes sense." I said.
"How did you discover your powers though? I thought you had no clue about your heritage until now." He said.
"I woke up in the woods. Having seen enough fan-fics to know where that was going, I wished I had a gun. a few seconds later, I've got one of the fastest firing guns available to mankind." I said.
"Interesting." He said.
"Indeed. although, a bit later on, I found out that I was completely naked. Then I willed the shadows to make some Japanese weapons to go with the ninja suit I had made." I said.
"Well, you are certainly more of a natural at shadow magic than I am." He said, genuinely impressed that I mastered basic abilities in an hour.
"All I legitimately feel in this hell hole that is Equestria, is rage."
"I see. Well, I have only a little bit more time left. So I will leave you a gift. A book that will contain all your powers and tell you how to use them." He said.
"Me gusta" I said. This is still gonna be awesome.
"Oh you will. Sadly, you must return to the waking world for now." He said. And with that there was a flash of light and I was awake in the basement.

Suddenly the door opened and Twilight walked down.
"Good morning, Fjord." She said joyfully.
"Wow, I'm up early." I said, surprised at waking up this early.
"This is early for you? I'd hate to see you sleeping in." she said sarcastically.
"One does not simply, party and wake up at a reasonable hour." I said.

"I do." She retorted.
"And you can see ninjas without being a pirate." I back-trolled.
"What?" She asked.
"If you don't know and don't have a dick, you don't belong on the Internet." I replied.
"What's an Internet." She asked.

"Rule number three of the Internet, we are anonymous. Rule number four, anonymous is legion. Rule number five, anonymous never forgives. Rule number six, anonymous can be a horrible, senseless, uncaring monster. Rule number seven, anonymous is still able to deliver." I said.
"That's horrible!" She said.
"Rule number fourteen, do not argue with trolls - It means they win." I said, activating my troll face.
"Wait, you skipped several rules." She said.
"Rule number thirty two, You must have pictures to prove your statements." I retorted.
"What are you talking about? I don't need pictures, All I need are facts." She huffed.
"Pics or it didn't happen." I said.
"UGH! WHY AM I TALKING TO YOU?" She yelled.
"Because you don't know the rules of the Internet." I quipped.
"I'm done here. There's breakfast on the table upstairs." She said none too happily. I went upstairs and found eggs, and what appeared to be a flower sandwich. I greedily devoured my eggs and placed the inedible sandwich on the plate next to mine. Rainbow groggily took her place next to mine.

"Sweet Jesus. And I thought I was a late sleeper." I said.
"Not now. I just got up." She snapped.
"Rule number twelve of the Internet, anything you say can and will be used against you." I said. Game, set, match.
"I don't care." She snapped again.
"well obviously you do, or you wouldn't have said that." I retorted.
"leave me alone." She snapped, venom in her voice.
"Rule number fourteen, do not argue with trolls - It means they win." I trolled.
"UGH! SHUT UP!" She yelled.
"Okay." I said innocently. She ate her sandwich and eggs and left to clear the skies, Celestia was coming over today after all. If the memes had any truth to them I would have to step up my game. Hell hath no fury like a Trollestia scorned.

Author's Note

here are the first forty seven rules of the internet: