"You mad?" I mock-asked.
"Where were you? I was waiting for you for hours!" Twilight Sparkle asked furiously.
"Right above you." I answered. "What?" She asked looking up.
"I have ninja training. I can be invisible if I want." I said as if it was fact. (which it kind of is.)
"So girls, what should we do first?" Twilight asked.
"Do I look like the keeper of that knowledge?" I asked.
"Well you don't, so I would assume not." Rarity said.
"Well I'm gonna go to sleep. Wake me if my chest explodes, or you figure out what to do. Whichever comes first." I said as I started walking over to the dampest corner.
"OOH OOH WE COULD PLAY TWISTER!" Pinkie Pie suggested suddenly.
"Dibs on spinner." I said quickly.
"NO, YOU HAVE TO PLAY WITH US! TWILIGHT GETS THE SPINNER!" She blurted in reply.
"That's it. I'm invoking the international 'Dibs' protocol... And the 'No take backs' protocol." I said.
"SILLY FJORDIE, THE INTERNATIONAL 'DIBS' AND 'NO TAKE BACKS' PROTOCOLS ONLY WORK IN BLOOD GULCH!" Pinkie said, confusing everyone but only enraging me.
"I. Hate. Metas." I snarled.

"What?" Pinkie asked.
"Never mind. I'll play." I said angrily, hoping this was a one-time thing.
"YAY!" Pinkie exclaimed.
"But you have to stop calling me Fjordie. Fjord is fine though." I trolled her. (puns for the win.)
"OKAY!" she shouted and from nowhere pull out a Twister mat and spinner.
("This is gonna suck.") So for roughly an hour -(which felt more like two years)- we played the most humiliating game of Twister. For minutes I was put in some suggestive positions with the girls, the only thing happening in my body was my testicles receding back into it at the speed of Clint Eastwood. "Right hind hoof, green!" Pinkie said. Rainbow Dash shifted over me. Placing her right hind hoof on the same spot as my right hand, resulting in her ass in my face.
"I fucking hate you." I told Pinkie.
"Alright, that's enough Twister fer one night." Applejack said, detecting my inhuman levels of rage. I grabbed Rainbow's wing and yanked her off of me dropping her on the floor.

"I need to use the bathroom." I said bluntly.
"Upstairs, first door on the right." Twilight said knowing why.
"thanks." I said angrily, I needed to expel liquid fury right now. I entered the bathroom, and promptly vomited in the toilet. After flushing and washing my hands, I went back to the main floor in a pleasant mood. The worlds raunchiest game of Twister having been put away. In it's place, though, was a bottle. The second worst game in the world was about to begin. If the last game sucked, then this was gonna blow. I sat between to Pinkie and Fluttershy, the former of whom I was still pissed at.

"Alright, here's the rules..." Rainbow began. "... when the bottle lands on you, you have to choose; truth or dare. If you choose dare, you have to go though with it, If you choose truth, you have to be honest. Any questions?" She finished. I raised my hand casually.
"Yes?" She asked.
"Is mayonnaise an instrument?" I asked innocently to piss off Twilight. All the Mane Six bust into laughter save for Twilight. "You can't be serious." She said face hoofing.
"I'm not." I replied.
"Lets go." I said. Twilight got the first spin. The bottle landed on me.
"Truth or dare?" She asked me.
"I'm feeling adventurous. Dare." I said boldly.
"I dare you to... Kiss Fluttershy." she said grinning.
"WHAT?" I screamed.

"You have to do it." She said.
"fine." I groaned and quickly pecked Fluttershy's cheek.
"Oh, what was that?" Twilight asked in a disappointed tone.
"A kiss." I retorted.
"That was pathetic." she said.
"You said to kiss her, you didn't say it had to be passionate -(the likes of which I will never do)." I replied. For another hour I sat for the most part only picking truth and answering truthfully -(as long as it was not a sensitive subject). After the game finally ended, I went to sleep in the basement.

Author's Note

It'll only get worse.