Stolen Away

The changeling race was dying, that much was certain. The failed attack on Canterlot had sealed their fate. With their ability to suck love from ponies taken away, the hive was slowly starting to wither away, its numbers growing smaller as drone after drone turned into a lifeless husk.

The Queen of the changelings sat on her throne deep within the badlands, trying desperately to conjure a solution to her problems. Curse those blasted ponies. Everything was going according to plan until that purple one freed Cadence, I should have destroyed her when I had the chance. Her brooding was interrupted by a soldier drone entering the room. It bowed and stood at attention, waiting to be given permission to speak its message. She nodded curtly to it.

“My Queen, we have finished sorting through the items that were pilfered from the city of Canterlot. Among these was a book that we felt needed your attention.” She raised an eyebrow. Drones were not very intelligent, but it was unusual that they would ever come across something that required her attention.

“Very well, you may bring in the book for me to see.” She turned to the guards stationed beside her throne. “When they come in with the item you are to leave and stand guard at the doors, do not let anypony in no matter what.”

She did not have to wait long. The same drone from before strode in carrying what looked like a worn out journal. Why did this raggedy old thing need her attention? She had bigger issues to solve such as the saving of her swarm. She cringed as the pain of losing a few more drones reached her.

The book was placed at her hooves and the guards left per their instructions. She picked it up with her magic and flipped it open; the title on the front was too faded to read so she didn’t bother deciphering it. However, the first page, a description of the journal’s, for that was in fact what it was, contents was perfectly legible.

To whomever it may concern, this is the journal of Unstable Vial, former unicorn researcher of the Canterlot Academy Magic Discovery Team, CAM-DT for short.

What you are about to read is a collection of projects that I have undergone in secret. Of course, that is why I got kicked off of the team. Apparently, nopony is supposed to conduct unauthorized research, no matter how beneficial it may be to Equestria. Bah, fools, I still continued even after they removed me.

Back to the matter at hoof. These are personal notes to be taken SERIOUSLY, yes you snobs I know you’re reading this and thinking I was crazy. Some spells contained in this notebook may not be on par with your level of magic so please read the warnings provided with each spell. I am not responsible for maiming, disjunction of body parts, or the removal of your small intestine.

So without further ado, the personal notes of the soon to be great and esteemed ‘Doctor’ Unstable Vial!

Chrysalis stared at the page in wonderment, and here she thought that all ponies were sane. She turned the page of the notebook to find the table of contents. She didn’t care for this; she was going to peruse every spell anyways. Anything that seemed it could remotely help her she would try it.

A spell to create tons of sugary sustenance.

This spell was somewhat difficult due to the fact that every time I summoned the food it would be deformed in some way or another. That coupled with the disappearance of my testing results made for hard goings.

This spell was actually inspired by a hyper pink mare that ‘accidentally’ found her way into the lab. She kept on rambling about parties and whatnot so I decided, ‘Why not make it easier on her!’ So the cake spell was born.

Other than for parties this really has no practical uses though and I quickly filed this spell away when I found out that a certain sun goddess was trying to exploit it.

Chrysalis let out a rare giggle. “I knew it! I knew that Princess’ plot was too big for her body! And to think that her obsession with cake is what did it!” She giggled again and turned more pages.

Another spell stuck out to her.

A spell for spying on another pony

This spell was especially hard to keep a secret because a unicorn could sense the signature the caster gave off if that was whom you were spying on.

The caster needs to be of exceptional magic level to perform this spell, as it requires extreme focus. I have found more often than not that some of my subjects have been in most... compromising situations and have burst out laughing, losing my concentration. Needless to say I have stopped filling in the holes in the stone floors and walls.

This spell might be interesting just for fun. She read over the details quickly, skipping over warnings and such. She was the queen of the entire changeling race. Not many beings passed her in skill with magic.

She prepared the spell and cast it. A shimmering oval appeared. The picture slowly fizzled into clarity and her target was visualized.

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Immediately Princess Celestia knew something was up. There was that odd feeling every unicorn got when they were being spied upon. She stopped playing with the bubbles in her bathtub and prepared a counter spell. Just before she cast it however she felt the spell shatter. She glanced uneasily from side to side, shrugged, and then went back to her bath.

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Queen Chrysalis couldn’t contain her laughter any longer, seeing the Sun Goddess playing in her bathtub had been too much. The spell collapsed spectacularly and if Chrysalis hadn’t instinctively shielded herself she might have been harmed.

Her guards, of course, didn’t enter, per her instructions. She was glad for the privacy and gave a small snicker once more at the memory of Celestia in her bathroom. She flipped through the book again, skimming past other spells that showed no promise for her situation.

She barely noticed the title on a page as she flipped past. Quickly skimming back to it she read the contents of the page.

A spell for Interdimensional planetary teleportation.

WARNING: This is an extreme spell that should NEVER be used by anypony other than the Princesses, or myself of course. Feel free to look into it and dream of how awesome it would be if you actually could perform this spell.

This spell teleports the user, or if the spell is modified to do so, target ponies to another world. Not another planet, another world; another dimension with entirely different rules and species. How I managed to create the spell is of no consequence to you the reader. Just know that a number of guards at the royal vault made a pretty penny last night.

When alone with Princess Celestia I presented this spell as a means to ‘banish’ ponies instead of simply sending them to the Moon. Of course she was thick skulled and destroyed the spell as soon as she finished reading it. She then had the gall to forbid me; ME! The greatest researcher of ponykind! From ever doing anything like this sort ever again. Good thing I always keep a spare copy of my notes whenever I create a working spell.

So without further ado here are the details on how to perform this complicated spell. Please note that the target planet will contain intelligent life. After several attempts I always ended up on a planet with some sentient beings. So if the Princesses should try this spell (which I highly doubt) be warned that said inhabitants might be hostile.

Queen Chrysalis gasped. This might be what she had been looking for! By going to another planet her drones might be able to capture one of the inhabitants to bring back. They would be subjected to the usual methods of love draining and her swarm would finally be able to get back onto its hooves. Once again she ignored the warnings and scanned the details of the spell. However one warning stood out to her.

WARNING: No matter how many times I’ve tried to fix this I have never been able to stay in the other dimension for more than 6 hours EST. If the caster is performing a spell when this time limit expires it might result in catastrophic disaster.

Hmm. that might be a problem come time when I cast this. Bah, no worries this is a foalproof plan. Soon my hive will have all the love it needs and I can get revenge on those pathetic ponies. She mused.

She closed the journal, her mind set on performing the spell that would save her race. “Guards,” Said changelings strode in and bowed. “Bring to me four soldiers of the awareness class.” They bowed and hurried out to perform the bidding of their queen.

She sat back upon her throne and took the book in her magic again. This thing, no matter how weird it can be in some places, must not be found by anypony. Her horn glowed a bright green and the book seemed to go intangible for a moment. She cringed again as she felt the death of several more changelings reach her. With the book still partially transparent she slipped it into her throne. There, nopony shall ever find it there, and if everything goes well it will probably not stay there either. She paused and chuckled to herself. Why am I saying if? Of course this will work, it will work because it is MY plan.

Her thoughts were interrupted as the double doors swung open once more and four changelings strode in confidently. “Your majesty.” they all said curtly, bowing deeply.

“You four have been chosen for a special mission. A mission that will save our hive from destruction.” The changelings stood a little taller at this, but otherwise made no indication of the pride they felt. “There will be danger involved but that is of no consequence to one of my subjects. I will perform a spell on you and you will be transported to another world.” Quizzical looks were shown at the mention of this. “You need not know how I came across information on how to go about this. You only need to know that I want you to go to this planet and find four suitable inhabitants to drain the love from. If you succeed you will be given great rewards and honor among the swarm.” She looked each dead in the eye before continuing. “Do you accept this mission from your Queen?” She knew they had no choice in the matter but it made her pride swell to hear them volunteer themselves.

“Yes my Queen. We will gladly serve you in this great endeavor! When shall we depart for this other world?” All four answered proudly. Their minds focused on the glory and honor that would come with protecting and saving their hive.

Chrysalis gave a not so rare evil grin. Soon she would have the love that the hive needed. Soon.

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A day later the four changelings strode in, prepared to make the journey to the foreign world. Queen Chrysalis had needed time to prepare her spell properly, the book detailed, and also warned (which she ignored) about the procedure. She watched them take position in the chalk circle that she had carefully drawn out a few minutes before. she walked up to the circle when they had positioned themselves inside.

Each of the changelings had carefully examined the circle and how it was drawn so they would be able to replicate it and bring the aliens with them. When they were situated they nodded to their queen who lit her horn with a bright green fire. She carefully touched four circles that were drawn at points around the intricate circle. At her touch each circle lit up with a dim glow, spreading to the other lines around it. Soon the entire figure was aglow with dim green light.

“Farewell my subjects, bring me back prime test subjects.” She then added a little more forcefully, “or I will make you suffer.” Each nodded unperturbed by the threat.

Chrysalis took a step back and checked the circle over again, her horn still glowing. Satisfied with how everything was proceeding she channeled more magic into her horn. More drones died as the life was sucked out of them to finish the spell but she did not care. A few would die for the sake of her revenge, that was a small price to pay for the prize that she would gain.

She watched as the circle’s light grew brighter and looked in interest as it started dissapearing, starting at the four points she had lit up before. Soon it reached her soldiers and then they too disappeared, leaving no mark to ever show that they had existed. Hmm, the spell sure makes cleanup easier.

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The four soldiers watched in earnest as they disappeared. Their trust in their Queen overriding any fear they might have at watching their own bodies disappear.

They felt the tugging sensation like any normal teleportation spell. This was a little different however. Instead of being painless, it felt like somepony was trying to rip their limbs off.

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Changeling: Quicksilver

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Quicksilver found himself in what seemed like a large forest of some kind. He looked around. The other changelings, Mirror Image, Night Fury, and Unseen One, were nowhere to be seen. He frowned, I thought Chrysalis said that she had perfected this spell. Oh well, might as well continue with the mission. He didn’t know how he would complete it given the time frame though. He was essentially the leader if you wanted to look at it professionally, so he was in charge of making sure the circle was drawn correctly. They had practiced for 17 hours back at the hive and had barely managed to do it in under 5 hours.

It’s all those bucking lines and circles. Why couldn’t she have made the design simpler? Oh well best do with what I’ve got rather than pout about what I haven’t. He looked around once more, trying to get a bearing on his surroundings. It seems that I am in a forest of sorts, I do not know what season it is, or if this planet even has seasons. I should fly up to see if I can make out any sort of civilization. Hopefully whatever species this is hasn’t made much progress; it would be much easier that way.

He spread his gossamer wings and flew above the trees. Landing on a particularly high branch from which he could look around. Off in the distance he could make out buildings of a sort. It looked like they had been made of wood. Good they are still building homes out of wood, should be as easy as those ponies were.  He landed on the ground and strode off in the direction of the village.

After a short walk he heard the crunching of leaves in the distance. He quickly hid behind a tree, only poking a single eye out to see what had arrived.

It stood on two legs, had two appendages hanging off it’s body. A small mane stuck out on top of what he assumed was it’s head. It’s eyes were pathetically small. It probably can’t even see well in the dark. What a pathetic species. It had some kind of loose garments on it, similar to clothing that ponies wore. Hmm, well I wonder if this is a sentient creature. If it is, then it has just made my day. A capture this quick? Ha, I bet that not even Night Fury found his this fast.

His ears perked up as he heard the familiar language of Equis reach them. “...people these days. How do they even stand each other. Every. Single. Day. It’s either, ‘Buy this,’ or ‘Did you hear about?’” It moved the odd things at the end of it’s top appendages in a way that looked like a griffon strangling somthing. “Sometimes I wish I could just strangle them so words would no longer flow!” It sighed. Perfect, it has emotions, I don’t know if this one could have the capability of love but since we are pressed for time it will have to do. It continued its rant. “But alas society frowns upon murder. If only this was the stone age...”

Quicksilver looked again and saw the thing almost upon him. Thinking fast he quickly jumped out and on top of the creature. “Now, I want you to stay still, this will be much more simple if you don’t fight me.” Quicksilver smiled, things were going according to plan. Or they were until the thing punched him with one of its paws.

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Changeling: Night Fury

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Night Fury found himself on cold hard ground in a dark hallway open to the air. He was surrounded by bricks of some sort. Bah, that spell went wrong, just as I completely expected it to. Oh well better hurry and capture a creature, wouldn’t do to find it after everyone else. He strode confidently out into the open. A scream to his right attracted his attention. He saw a creature, probably an inhabitant of the planet. He put a hoof to his ears; the scream was high pitched and hurt his eardrums severely. By Chrysalis how loud are these things? It hadn’t stopped screaming and had run away while he was stunned by the encounter. Buck! How could I have messed up so badly? Hmmph, maybe I need to blend in? He looked around and saw more things staring at him with shock. He found a more slender one, or so it looked like. Hmm, that one looks like it is better than the others.

He opened his wings and took off, flying above the buildings. The screams and gasps faded as he flew away. Whatever creatures these were, they were particularly annoying. I have to get away from the more populated areas in order to find one that I can knock unconscious or something.

Night Fury landed in another one of the dark open hallways a good 5 minute flight away from his previous encounter. It doesn’t matter anyways, I only have an hour to capture one of these creatures, I won't be here long enough for anything to come of it.

Remembering the form of the tall creature he shifted his form into it. He looked down at his appendages and wiggled the small claws that were attached to them. How odd, they have appendages like that of the forelegs of a griffon, what a weird species. No matter, off to claim my prize!

He tried walking forward but only landed on his face. How in Tartarus do these things move around? He ‘stood’ back up and tried again, this time putting all his weight on one ‘leg’ while moving the other forward, leaning a little bit to compensate for movement. Ha! If any changeling can adapt this quickly to a foreign body, it is me!

In a deeper part of the hallway Night Fury spotted a small item. He walked over and picked it up carefully, wary that this world might have more dangerous items. Having picked it up he saw that it was a container of sorts. Further inspection showed that it contained currency of some sort. Must be what the creatures use as money. Ha, whoever thought of using paper as money!? How stupid. After pulling some of the ‘money’ out he found that he had acquired a decent sum of it, if the amount of paper was to be believed. You know, I might not have to use brute force to capture one; how disappointing.

Once again he left the darkness of the pathway and made his way into the creatures’ world. I bet I'll find one right off the bat, let’s see if any of the others have as much luck as I do!.

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WHY CAN’T I FIND ONE BUCKING CREATURE THAT IS ALONE! Night Fury mentally screamed. His facial expression twitched as he saw yet another pair of creatures. For half an hour it had been creature after creature, he could never find one alone. There was always one within sight and/or hearing distance.

He looked down at his paws and clenched them into fists. If I get my hooves on one of them I might not be able to contain my rage long enough to transport it if this continues.

Something caught his eye. It was one on a contraption of sorts, it seemed too preoccupied with something to notice him. This might be the one! He looked around quickly before ducking into another long dark place. Good no others, this’ll be like taking candy from a foal.

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Changeling: Unseen One

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Unseen One found herself stranded on top of what seemed like solid rock, except the sky was open to her. Obviously the spell had failed and she was now out in the open, the comprising open. Quickly darting across the top she found a ledge that led to a small forest below. I need to find a place to hide, to observe, to figure out who my target will be. It is obvious I will receive no help from my comrades so I must be careful with my actions.

Her black carapace blended perfectly with the shade the trees created. Her lithe body moved in and out of different shadows, watching for signs of inhabitants, hostile or not.

A small chittering creature crossed her path. Is this the creatures of this planet? “Who are you?” She whispered quietly. The creature merely looked at her curiously before scampering away. Obviously that is not a sentient creature; it held no soul.

She continued on always watching for some signs of sentient life. Soon a bipedal creature crossed her path. It was at least 3 hooves taller than her and had a small mane on top of it’s head. It had a smile on and was holding paws with another beside it. This one had a longer mane and more soft feminine features. She wondered if the species had both male and female counterparts like Equines. She examined their movements as they passed by, noting how they walked and that they apparently spoke Prench. She had no care for the language as she was not one of the ‘Lucky’ ones to go to Prance.

This is unfortunate, I will have to lure one to me and render it unable to escape by some other means. Another few minutes passed and no other creatures had shown up. Obviously my ambush has been set in the wrong place.

She looked around for anything that might resemble civilization or a town of some sort. Not far away between a patch of trees she saw what looked like a building from Canterlot or Manehattan. It was bricks that much was for sure, and the windows seemed to be made out of the same substance, glass, as the windows in Equestria. Can’t complain if I’m dealt a more familiar situation. It certainly helps with my predicament. She sneaked quietly through the shadows once more and found a long tunnel. At the end was a long black piece of rock. What this was for she did not know, and she did not care.

She looked to the right and saw what appeared to be, again, very similar to a door. She looked around and again saw none of the creatures near her. There were some off in the distance but it would be much easier to capture one in the safety of privacy. Looking around once more she checked to make sure nopony saw her.

She went to knock on the door but saw a button on the side. Maybe this is a summoning device? Wary of traps she pushed it with her hoof.

She flinched as a chime was heard and moved to the side to avoid anything like trap doors or falling objects. She was surprised when a creature answered the chime. So it was a summoning device. Good, better slip in while it’s distracted. She melted into the shadows and slipped through the creature's legs, making her way through the home.

“Je ne sais pas qui t’est l’osti de con, mais ne t’avise pas de recommencer sinon je vais t’en crisser un tabarnak entre les deux yeux!” This one is Prench as well? By Chrysalis, that will make communication impossible. Not to mention it’s probably snooty like all Prench ponies. She had met one once, she barely avoided strangling the pony. Hopefully this encounter will end a little better than that.

Most likely the creature was busy with something, what looks like it has been used recently? She walked up stairs, pausing when she saw a door open a crack. This has been used, time to set my ambush.

When she entered the room a large wooden shelf like thing stood off to the side. Perfect. She jumped up to the top and crouched down, waiting for the arrival of her prey.

What she didn’t notice was a green shape staring intently at her from across the room.

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Changeling: Mirror Image

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Mirror Image found himself in the middle of a long passway. He barely had time to get a look at his surroundings before a large metal object sped towards him. He calculated that he would not have time to avoid it by simply jumping to the side so he flattened himself against the ground, letting the object roll over him.

However, instead of continuing on it stopped with it’s middle over him, preventing an easy escape. “What was that?!” A voice shouted. Hoof-like appendages showed up in his peripherals. Another thumping sound vibrated from his right. “I don’t know, it didn’t look like any animal I’ve ever seen!” I cannot be seen, this would endanger the entire mission. If the others are nearby their cover would be blown. What looked similar to knees touched the ground as he slid himself from underneath the metal object.

He beat a hasty escape as more and more creatures focused upon the stopped object. Some shifted their view to him as he flew away but most ignored him.

Mirror landed on what he assumed to be the roof of a house. I need to plan my encounters much better than that if I am to succeed in my mission.

He looked over the town, for that is what he assumed it to be. These creatures are bipedal, extremely curious yet wary of their own kind. It will be tough to convince one to come with me alone, let alone have enough time to transport one to my fellow comrades for extraction. More likely than not I will have to find one that is alone already and have to render it unconscious or something. He cringed at the thought of harming the creature. Queen Chrysalis will kill me if she sees the creature harmed. He blinked, What am I thinking? I know plenty of ways to incapacitate ponies without leaving marks, it is my job as team analyzer to plan out everything.

With his plan formulated he looked over the passway again, searching for a suitable creature to disguise as. He spotted a more fit looking one. That one looks perfect for combat should I have to resort to it, yet still blends in. His form burst into green flames as he grew in size. He looked down at what he assumed to be like griffon paws, clenching them into fists. Hmm, this should be an interesting experience.

After climbing down from his position on the roof he carefully navigated the populace searching for a proper subject to capture. Unfortunately there was always something wrong with the creatures he found. That one does not look fit enough to survive the transportation. Egh, that one smells... like extra strong cider. These things seem so sociable, I need to find one that isn’t so much.

“Hey you **** kid! Get off my lawn!” He watched what looked like an older creature wave a stick at a younger creature, yelling. The young one seemed to understand the warning and quickly galloped away. It seems that these creatures respect their personal privacy to a point that they are hostile. He thought back to the older one. Nah he is too old to be of use, the Queen want’s a creature that can last for long periods of time. Finding no other thing to do besides continue his search he did so.

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After half an hour’s walk he had still not found a suitable subject that fit his requirements. Sure some came close but no creature had quite met his expectations of ‘The perfect subject’. He looked to the side, watching the houses, checking for signs of life. Some had multiple lights on. Others had none at all. When he had found one that did have only one light on... I’ve never seen bucking done like that...

His planned 45 minutes was almost up. If he broke schedule the entire thing would be thrown off schedule. I will not compromise my own perfect schedule, that is UNACCEPTABLE! He tripped, having walked into a yard while consumed by his thoughts. How careless of me...

He stood back up and checked his surroundings, his head stopped at the sight of a younger creature standing on a wooden extension to its home. It took something out of its ears and called out to him. “Um hello?”

His expression remained stone faced. It seems like this is the best I will be able to get given the time frame. Oh well.

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Mathias Duquet

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I ran around my house, grabbing things out of my shelves and closet and placing them in a sport bag. “Calisse de crisse de TABARNAK”, my run spiced with some curse words from my native tongue directed toward my not-working alarm clock. The fear in my eyes was clearly apparent. The only thought I had was to arrive to work at time.

I grabbed my cleanest black suit, the golden arches picture showing where I work and my little dolphin necklace with a sapphire stone attached. Who said that while going to McDonalds you couldn’t be classy? I thought. I looked to see if it was good looking enough to wear or would I need to iron the shirt. Seeing that everything was okay, I grabbed my McCap my name tag and my water bottle, shoved them in my bag and clipped it to my back. Wait, did I removed what was in my bag? I let that thought go away, anyway, it was too late.

I looked at the oven clock and saw that I had 10 minutes before my shift would start. I knew that it took at least 20 minutes to get there with my bicycle. I sighed, hoping my boss would go easy on me. I looked to see if I missed anything before leaving. I grabbed my wallet, seeing that it was missing from my pocket and went outside.

I came down my apartment stairs and went to where all the building occupants’ bicycles were stashed. I looked at mine, which was the only one locked with a chain. I was always superstitious about other people touching my stuff; I always had a way to keep my stuff away from others.

I unlocked the chain with the four-number code lock and arranged the chain around my bike frame to use it later. I jumped on it, put my headphones in my ears and put on some music from my country. I quickly rolled away from my home, thinking that it was going to be another boring day at work.

I was rolling at a steady pace, enjoying the sweet sound of french music coming straight from Quebec. Bobbing my head, I sang the rapping of my people. What I didn’t see, however, was the tall man who was few centimeters in front of me. Even if he was at least a head taller than me, the fact that he came from the side, behind the buildings was not helping. Unluckily, I was too occupied listening to music that I didn’t see him before crashing into his legs. Well damn, I never thought my mother would actually be right about me crashing because of music...

I fell on my side, my body hitting a rock. The pain was small, but enough to make me cringe. The man who barely staggered from the hit walked toward me, almost looking unsure of his actions. He showed me his hand, helping me to stand up. I smiled, seeing that at least some people were not evil in this world.

I removed the dust off my shirt and got back on my bike. “Look mister, I’m really sorry, but I need to get to work.” I said before pedalling. The man, however, placed himself in the way, forcing me to stop.

“Hmph, running off without letting a pony fix what he has broken, how rude.” He said simply. Normally, I would be cautious of strangers, but his motive looked right and he didn’t seem to be the physical type. Sadly, I had...responsibilities.

“A...pony?” I shook my head. “Anyway, I really got to go. I have work and I’m already late so... I got to go.” I said to the man. I was about to jump back on my bike again, but the man shook his head. He took out his wallet and gave me a 100$. I stared at the man with my mouth agape.

“Is this enough for you to allow me to recompense you for my error?” He showed a faint smirk. I took the piece of plastic and looked at it. Well, if he really wants to, I could see that new Monster Inc. movie people keep talking about. I thought.

“I could indeed do that.” I said while pulling my phone out of my pocket. The man backed off when he saw my Samsung, but I shrugged it off. I typed the number of the McDonalds and listened to the classical ~beep~ of it. A few seconds later, I was talking with one of my bosses. After telling him that I was sick and had to stay home, lying a bit on the way, I finally had the day off. I knew that irresponsible, but I also knew that the man wouldn’t let me go if I didn’t come with him to the cinema.

I placed the device back in my pocket, much to the stranger’s delight, and enlightened him of the situation. It was surprising to see his confusion at the mention of a cell phone. I decided to just leave him be. If he was paying for the cinema, I wouldn’t be the one to complain.

“Well okay, I’m just going to my house to place my bag back then we’ll be going to the cinema!” I said while turning my bike. The moment I turned my back on the stranger, however, he quickly moved near me in one swift move. In one hit behind my neck, I fell into unconsciousness, hearing a faint laugh in the distance. Oh yeah, because that Hedley song wasn’t enough to make me realise “DON’T TALK TO STRANGERS”.

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Daniel Picard

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'… only to be surprised by the scene before my eyes; I wasn't in my room. Oh Luna, what prank...' The sound of my doorbell interrupted my thought train as I started to work on the next chapter of my story on FIMFiction. Whoever it was, it had better be important. I passed the whole week debugging the same ostie de bug in the code at work. To say I was in a bad mood at the moment was a major understatement. Even my peach-faced lovebird knew better than bother me at the moment. Then again, I might be lucky. It could be one of my old schoolmates.

As I progressed towards the door of my little three and half appartment in Montréal, my bird Dodo perched itself on my shoulder. Though, instead of snuggling behind my neck like usual, he seemed to be awfully interested by the door. Oh well, I might just be too boring to him at the moment.

In any case, I soon reached the door and looked through the blinds, only for my eyes to be met with an awful lot of nothing. Really?! Who was l’ostie de tabarnak who thought it would be a good joke to bother me? I decided to look outside, just in case I could see the person responsible was still nearby so I could tell him what I think of his stupid joke. At least I did not have to worry about my bird getting away as he prefered to stay with me anyway. You gotta love lovebirds for that.

I quickly opened my door and step out intending to spot the culprit. Fortunately for him, I spotted no one as I scanned the area. To make things even worse, my bird had been moving constantly ever since I stepped outside. I decided to let out my frustration just in case the idiot was still in earshot, “Je ne sais pas qui t’est l’osti de con, mais ne t’avise pas de recommencer sinon je vais t’en crisser un tabarnak entre les deux yeux!” [I don’t know who you are fucking idiot, but don’t you dare to do it again, I’m going to hit you very hard between your eyes!]

With that done, I returned in my home, closing and locking the door behind me. As I neared my room, Dodo started to make some strident noises while stretching his wings, as if he tried to scare someone. His strange behavior stopped me in my tracks just outside my room, especially considering that there was nothing out of place. What could make him act like this?

I did not have to wait for long as a black mass suddenly appeared in my field of view and a green bullet flew toward it. Luckily for me, it was one of those rare times where my reflexes were quick to kick in, allowing me to easily sidestep from the black thing and have a good look at it. I had my share of weird things in the past, but this took the cake. I must have critically failed a knowledge roll, because I was seeing a shapeshifter. Of course, it wasn’t a normal, realistic one (well, as normal a magical being that changes form could be) but it came from a cartoon. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic to be specific... Great... I’ve got a changeling in my home, this day couldn’t get any worse now... Considering that they needed the numerical superiority to even stand a chance against the Mane 6, how hard could a single one be to beat? It will make a great punching bag.

Using the distraction provided by my bird (Go for eyes Dodo, go for the eyes!), I decided to do something I always wanted to do; I took a swing and threw a punch at it screaming “Falcon Punch!” Yes, Captain Falcon is one of my favorite characters in Smash, got a problem with that? Besides, this is probably one of the rare times that I would actually get to  punch something without much punishment.

Grr... This was an epic fail on my part. Do you know what is the main difference between humans and ponies? Ponies have hooves! You know the hard thing at the end of their legs. In comparison, humans have marshmallows for hands. Oh, and changeling skin is actually an armor made of chitin. Needless to say, I hurt my hand. Badly. I totally did not scream when my fist came in contact with the cartoon character.

“Wow you’re loud! And here I thought you were a male of the species!” Wow, is it speaking english!? And people thought that it was unoriginal to use that idea in fics. How wrong were they; I only wish that I had not learned that first hand... Also, didn’t its voice sound awfully feminine? More importantly, did she actually just make fun of my masculinity? Apparently it was an interplanetary insult, but it was rather tame and unoriginal compared to what I have heard back while I was still in High School almost 10 years ago.

Once she had shouted her pathetic insult, the bug finally managed to hit my bird with one of her Swiss cheese hooves and knock him down. I hoped it didn’t kill him or I might have to get original later on once I was done with her. In any cases, I did need to find another way to deal with the black nuisance in front of me. Insecticide? Where did I leave my can of Raid again?

I didn’t have the time to plan much more as the changeling horn started to glow a green color and my hands were quickly bound together with an energy rope of the same color. There goes the possibility of hitting her horn with a punch to interrupt her magic. Unfortunately, a round kick was also out of the question as I wasn’t anywhere near Chuck Norris level, not that anyone could be. That, and the fact that the rope wasted no time to tie down my feet so I was hog-tied on the ground. “By Chrysalis you’re a feisty one. But there, you're all tied up. Now I just have to figure out how to get you to the meeting place.”

My day was just getting better and better... At least, that little action allowed me to vent most of my earlier frustration. I’ll admit that my attempt to fight Bugs Bunny’s friend head on was probably the most stupid idea I had; I was an intellectual person, not a fighter. Unfortunately for the bug, I might be bound, but that did not mean I couldn’t try to frustrate her with some good nonsense. I’ll blame that on watching too many episodes of Stargate SG1, but you have to love O’neill, “Don’t you think that you are done yet, the Asgards have the means to track me anywhere in the Milky Way. You are so going to be fucked once they unleash the Replicators on you!”

I’ll admit that I never expected her to react so strongly to my trolling; her magic had temporarily stopped working, leaving me free for a second. “Bah, foal’s tales, your kind could not possibly have succeeded in traveling to the stars, that’s impossible.”

Eh. So much for a great infiltrator race. Coupled with her reaction, she might as well just have told me that she forgot to take the human 101 course. And if she captured me to extract information, I hoped that she liked being largely misdirected, because this is all she’ll get from me. Besides, I could not let her underplay one of humanity's greatest achievements, “Tell that to the mirrors and the flag on the Moon. Besides, we use a circular device called a Stargate to travel through space. It is much safer, when black holes aren’t involved.”

“Look, just shut up so I can tie you up, maybe you’ll get lucky and instead of having the love sucked out of you, you’ll be Queen Chrysalis’ court jester. Liven up the hive a bit.” That one was both a great source of fun and information apparently. But seriously? Trying to suck love out of humans? Not that it couldn’t work, but, let's be honest, if the ponies where the changeling came from are anything like the show, it was much safer dealing with them than humans. If they had ponies. Pissing off a race that was no stranger to war was just the most stupid thing one could think of. I wonder if the ignorance about human nature was widespread among them.

There was still one thing that bothered me on what she last said. Seriously, jester? She obviously didn’t understand the finer points of trolling. I started to mutter another great line, because, let's be honest, who obeys their kidnapper when they don’t make any threats? “Right, and I’ll make some cupcakes...” I was cut off by my pillow case encasing my mouth, cutting of all noise.

“I thought I told you to shut up. Oh no, if all you creatures are like this then all we’re going to get from Night Fury is a corpse!” And goal! She was a much too easy target. Did she just tell me that I wasn’t their only target, the name of one of her camarade and confirmed that the ignorance about humans didn’t stop at her? This almost felt like one of those spy movies.

After a moment standing perfectly still, the female changeling opened her mouth again, “Well there is our meeting place. Prepare yourself creature.” Eh, prepare myself for wh-

I did not have time to complete my thought as my world was engulfed in green light.

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Scott Fletcher

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“No, you damn assassin! I didn’t tell you to jump off the building!” But alas, I can only watch as Ezio jumps off of the building and to his death. I groan loudly in frustration, as that had been my third attempt to scale the structure, only for my controller to misinterpret my commands and let Ezio jump into the sweet embrace of death.

I drop the controller to the table, getting up to change games to one of my favorites; Halo. However, once I stand up, I feel the need to listen to music for a bit, so I can calm down for one of the best games in history! Of course, that’s just me being biased, but oh well.

I pick up my CD book and flip through each of the games, placing Assassin’s Creed Revelations back into its slot, and selecting Halo 3 for later. You know? No matter how many new Halo games they make, they can never quite replicate the love I felt for Halo 3 and 2.

However, one does not simply play their favorite game when mad. And so, I grab my iPod, and switch to one of my favorite songs to listen to when rather pissed off and begin listening to it as I take my walk. As the angry lyrics to Black Dahlia filter in, I don’t hear the barking of my dog. But just as I step off of the old rickety porch, I see a man. Yeah, I know, great description, right? But seriously, there was close to nothing truly interesting about him.

I pause my music, making to go ask who he is and why he’s on my family’s property. Once I realize my dog is barking though, I see that she is in fact barking at this strange man. After grabbing her and taking her inside, I walk up to the man, seeing that while he was only a bit smaller than myself, his intimidation factor was balanced by his cold, calculating eyes.

“Um, hello,” I say, watching him cautiously. Now, I’m not one to trust strangers easily, but this one took it to a whole new level.

“You are to come with me, creature.” I’m surprised, not just by the fact that his voice is monotone and hard as rock, but by the fact that he calls me a creature, almost as though he is not human.

“And what if I say no?” There, simple and quick to the point. That oughta give this guy the message that I want him gone, and that I’m not leaving with him.

“Then I’ll force you.” Suddenly, his form is enveloped by a flash of green flames. I jump back in surprise, obviously not expecting the guy to spontaneously combust. But instead of finding a pile of ash, I find myself. As in, literally myself.

However, this version of me is about an inch taller, more toned in the muscles, and much colder eyes. But that’s not what’s bothering me. Where had I seen those green flames before? There was only one way this could have been possible and that’s...oh no.

“You’re a changeling, aren’t you?” Instead of a verbal response, I get punched in the face. I stumble backwards a bit, holding my nose in pain. “No questions, you will come with me or I will force you.” Well, answers that question then. I straighten my posture again, bringing my fists up as well.

I jump forward, determined to find his fighting style. Unfortunately, I find it to be almost the exact same as mine; grab someone by their appendages and bend until they submit. After several times of having my arm twisted and barely managing to escape, I come to realize something else. This changeling has improved upon my own fighting style.

There is no wasted move. Every punch, kick, and head butt is logical and meant to target small points upon my body. Specifically my weak points.

If I grab his forearm, he twists towards my thumb to break out of it. If I try to sneak behind him to put him in a strangle hold, he elbows me in the stomach, forcing me to let go. Another disadvantage I find is size. While he is a bit bigger than me, and obviously heavier, he seems to be quicker. Every punch is easily parried, and every kick is blocked like it’s nothing.

I jump forward one more time, confident that I can drive him away if I at least wound him. That is, until he grabs my shoulder and I feel something painful flood my system. “Feeble attempts at best. Submit.” It feels like my guts were roasted within my body, then tossed into a fire. I can hear my dog whining and scratching at the door trying to get out and help me. Out of the corner of my eye I see a black figure grab a hold of me with its front hooves, and then feel a tugging sensation. I black out about five seconds later.

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James Buck

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God ******! Why does everyone have to be such idiots now a days? The only smart people are the supposed ‘Dumb kids’ online. I punt a rock down the street on my way to my favourite spot. It was a small clearing in the woods near my small town. I went there to cool down so I didn’t end the day in jail for attempted murder, or worse.

Another rock went sailing off into the distance as I vented more of my anger. Today it had been some stupid kid who had asked the wrong question. Yesterday it had been a pushy lady who pushed a BIT too far; when would he ever get a break from all the idiots of the world? I ALMOST wish that something would just come and randomly transport me to some far off planet. I can think of only a few situations that would be worse than what I’m in right now.

I shuddered. One in particular stood out from the rest. A technicolor show called ‘My Little Pony’ had been rampaging on the Internet as of late. It had consumed some of my internet friends already. I would never be a part of ‘The herd’ but on the same plane I will never be an ‘Anti Brony’. Personally both sides were too caught up in their beliefs to see that both were ruining the Internet with their arguments, putting us poor unaffiliated souls in the middle of it all. I reached the outer portion of the woods and saw a small red streak on a nearby tree. Once again I had gauged the direction perfectly to run right into my marked trail.

I started walking, the outdoor air flushing the stink of ‘civilization’ from my nostrils. I heard the crunch of leaves underfoot and the shaking of branches in the wind. It was all very calming, and quite frankly, the reason why I took so many walks out here.

I continued walking, letting the cool air dull my anger and emotions. I wish i could be out in nature more often than I am. It doesn’t yell or scream. It doesn’t murder, steal, or lie. It just sits there and calms you.

Not long after, I had found my clearing. It was barely 7 feet in diameter and was ringed by tall trees. However it had a perfect view of the sky, a view that I heartily enjoyed during the nighttime hours. I lay back on the ground, wishing that I could lay there for hours. Unfortunately I had a job to do and my break only lasted for half an hour.

I gave a sigh, more disappointed than angry at this point. I managed to clamber to my feet and start back in the direction of the town which was all but a prison to me.

I walked past the same exact trees, the same exact red marks. Yet something seemed... off. I dismissed it, seeing as how I had enough on my mind, like door to door salesmen. I swear those people knock on only MY door. “Why can’t they be like normal people and get a REAL job? I mean, what are they teaching people these days. How do they even stand each other? Every. Single. Day. It’s either, ‘Buy this,’ or ‘Did you hear about?’” I moved my hands, pretending one of the hateful people was between them.  “Sometimes I wish I could just strangle them so words would no longer flow!” I sighed why am I getting all worked up, the whole reason for coming up here was to cool down.. “But alas society frowns upon murder. If only this was the stone age...” I continued, leaving off when I sensed movement.

A black creature suddenly appeared from around the next tree and pounced me. “Now, I want you to stay still, this will be much more simple if you don’t fight me.” Fat chance at that! Weird dog thing!

It smiled deviously, just in time for it to catch my fist on its cheek. It flew back a few feet from the blow, I wasn’t exactly just average muscle type. After a moment the pain in my knuckles finally registered. “HOLY **** MOTHER ****** HOT ****EDY **** THAT HURT!” I watched it get up, still holding my hand in pain. I wiped what looked like a hoof across it’s face. Its smile gone, it frowned slightly.

“I’ve gotten worse hits from baby foals, you’re no match for me.” Oh so you want a challenge eh? Alright.

I waited until he got a little closer before lashing out with my foot. He rolled with the kick, fully expecting me to double over in pain again. However due to recent events (*** holes running over my foot with bikes and such; ****s) I had started wearing steel toed boots. So instead of rubber coated flesh, the monster got metal going at about 10 miles per hour through it’s side.

A grunt escaped it as it flew into a tree. I looked down and saw that it had dented the metal on the boot. **** that guy has some pretty strong skin. My toes felt numb from impact but I ignored it. This thing insulted me, and right now I needed a punching bag. “You know these walks are supposed to help me calm down, but beating up on something that pisses me off helps as well.”

It cocked its head at me. “You’re a ferocious bunch of creatures. Oh well, I had hoped to not use magic.” It’s holed horn glowed to life and I felt myself leave the ground.

I watched as he moved forward, carrying me in this ‘magic’. “Let me go ****it!”

He smirked. “No can do, my Queen needs subjects to drain love from. You happened to be one that was selected.

I crossed my arms, pretending to pout in hopes that he would drop me for another fight. “You know this wasn’t fair. I can’t escape this. Therefore you have not proven yourself superior.”

He continued walking, oblivious to the fact that i had just insulted him. “That’s nice.”

I gave a long sigh, this day was NOT going to end well...