Stolen Away

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James

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The next morning found me asleep on the cave floor, uncomfortably close to my fellow cave mate. Realizing the implications of such proximity I get up quickly. There is no way I'm going to be teased by this pile of feathers!

For lack of anything better to do, i make my way out of the cave that we called shelter for the night. Despite the fact that i knew what inhabited the landscape beyond our sanctuary, it was actually quite peaceful. I took a deep breath through my nose, savoring the clean air.

My feeling of bliss was cut off by a faint wind blowing through my mane. The reality of the situation came back to me like a sledgehammer, killing the serenity of the moment.

Giving a deep sigh i move to sit on the edge of the small ledge outside of our little shelter. You know it wasn't that bad considering the circumstances. My eyes then quickly drifted to the rising sun in the east.

I ponder a moment at what this ordeal has caused for me. I am now a barnyard animal with wings. I have no natural weapons to speak of, and what little I had looked like it belonged to an ICU patient. My life, or what i had before, was in shambles. Being forced to hide from predators with a total stranger was a bit much for me to take in at the moment, so i reacted just the way i always did, shutting people out.

To tell the truth i probably was a bit harsh, but the newcomer seemed to take it in stride. Doesn’t matter, if things go well then i’ll be on my way home and away from all this fucked up shit. If things go bad i’m dead or trapped forever.

Seems like an interesting future does it not?

I hear a faint shuffling as my companion decides to exit dreamscape. He moves over and stops next to me. “The future doesn’t seem too hopeful, does it?”

“No it certainly does not.” I turn towards him. “What the hell we do now?”

He responds with a sigh. “I don’t know. All I can think of is to try and get us to the nearest settlement to get our wounds treated.” Before i can acknowledge he disappears back into our lean-to shelter. “Anywho, we better get going so we can try and get to a settlement today.”

“Well that sounds like a better plan than waiting here to get eaten or something.” I turn towards him and give him a slight glare, taking a guess at what is on his mind. “And don’t you go asking if i want a ride, i feel perfectly fine now.”

To my relief he chuckles and shakes his head playfully. “I wasn’t going to suggest that. I was going to say you look healthy enough to walk on your own for a little bit.”

"Alright, so which direction do we start off in all knower of this world?"

A talon makes it’s way up to his chin, which is odd because he really actually doesn’t have one to be honest.  “To be honest? I have no idea. I was hoping to get somewhere high so I get a good look around. Besides, I don’t want to risk flying yet.”

"So climbing?" I hold up my front hoof. "If so I have one word, hooves."

Another sigh escapes from it’s prison. “I guess you’ll have to wait here for a little bit then. I’ll be right back.” Yet again before i can respond he has left the cave ledge and started making his way up the cliff face. I see now that those claws come in quite handy when it comes to climbing, being able to find all the tiny handholds must be useful. Even with this advantage he still slips a couple time before he finally makes it to the top.

Well, I give him points for perseverance, but it's still stupid that I can't do anything besides watch. Oh, here he comes back down. Let's watch the accident unfold. If he falls it'll be funny, but if he fucking dies I'm going to get pissed off.

Son of a bitch, the fucker fell the fuck off. Before he is halfway down and i’m done cursing his name because of how idiotic he is, his wings snap open. He glides the rest of the way down, landing next to me again. “Woo! Now that was fun!”

Yeah yeah, rub it in my face will you… “Did you see anything useful or was i waiting for disappointment?”

“Don’t worry, I saw a town. It’ll take us quite a while to get there, but we’ll make it before nightfall.”

Joy, more walking. I have a feeling our first encounters with the indigenous are going to bite us in the ass in more ways than inconvenience. “Joy.” I hop off the ledge and turn my head, motioning for him to do the same.

If the wings weren’t bad enough, he jumps off and lands next to me. Show off. “Yeah, I know, but on the bright side I don’t have to carry you into town. Also, let me do the talking, unless they’re extremely prejudiced against griffons.” Racist ponies? Oh god i have to see this.

“So you get to talk to the social as fuck ponies and all i have to do is stand there looking dark and sinister. Alright i can deal with that. Lead the way mouthpiece.”

Another roll of the eyes, maybe i should keep track of that. “Hold on, let me grab my iPod from the cave.” He jumps back to a standing position and returns to retrieve his equipment from the cave. “Alright, ready to go.”

"Lucky bastard." His IPod got teleported as well? No fair. He probably has crap songs, I will not stand to listen to shit. Wait a second though. "Hmm, to be honest I never did look for mine, where'd you find yours? Whether or not you're coming with me I'm going to try to find mine. Preferences you know."

“Understandable. I found mine back where I first got teleported here.” Sounds simple enough. Onwards!

"Alright, I think I know where that is." I shuffle a bit to gain a better knowledge on how my body balances. Once I'm satisfied I take off running.

Of course this was before I remembers I was partially disabled. So instead of galloping off into the foliage I make it 10 feet before my back leg gives out and I trip. "OH SHIT!" Then I face planted into the dirt. Not a fun experience.

He hear him walk up next to me. “I may be in better shape to go retrieve it, although not for long.” There’s a hint of sadness as i watch him favour his left hind leg/paw thing.

"Yeah well fuck you, I can run my own errands."

“Obviously not. Besides, I’d like to get your iPod so I don’t have to hear you bitch about it all the way to the town.” Despite my statement the fucker walks to the forest edge, determined to do me a favour. Well screw you, the last thing i’m going to do in this damnable world is have myself owe somebody a favour.

"The way you say it makes it seem like a compliment." I start towards him, holding my hind leg up so I hobble awkwardly. I may be foolhardy and stubborn but I'm not stupid.

“Well, if you fall behind because of an infection, I’ll leave you there and come back later.” Wow, a bit harsh, I like that.

"Fine by me. But, if anyone is going to fall behind its you. I'm as stubborn as hell and I sure as hell won't let you lose me."

He gives a throaty chuckle. “Good, I like your spirit. Now, let’s go find a worthless piece of junk!” Before i can retort he starts pushing through the underbrush. This is a time that he is actually useful since his claws and thick coat protect him from the thorns and other forest shit.

Hmph, spirit. My 'spirit' would probably eat him as an appetizer if all it took was blind stubbornness. "The fact is that currently, to me, that piece of hardware is worth more than your life. You're quickly getting closer though." So I like abrasive people who have no qualms about speaking their minds, sue me.

Several minutes pass by and thankfully my companion learned the word ‘silence’. I didn’t see much considering the whole fucking place is just trees, trees, bushes and more trees. His progress slows and his hind leg is starting to limp more prominently. “Sorry about having to slow down; my leg’s beginning to burn really badly. However, we should be there in just a few moments.”

"Would you like me to kiss it better?" I put on my best puppy dog face, which was probably amplified by my current form.

So i make one smart comment, and what does it earn me, a fucking bop on my snout. “Sorry, but that doesn’t work on me here. Besides, I’ll be fine, but it is nice that you worry about me.” And to punctuate the injury the asshole throws me a smirk.

Oh screw you bitch. That fucking hurt! What is up with these horses and their damn fragility? "You shithead! Way to ruin a perfectly good insult." As an afterthought I add, "You better be alright cause I'm not putting my mouth anywhere near you on purpose."

One more thing to address before I can end my rant. "And another thing, I care for you about as much as I care for my underwear. You're useful at times, but in general, I don't need you. I don't need anybody. I prefer to be alone, I operate better alone. For now I have to work with you, but only because I want to go back to being alone."

He stops and turns towards me, his jovial look has disappeared and is replaced by a more hungry one, as if he is visualizing dinner.A dark chuckle emanates from his chest. “Good, someone who feels as I do. I’ve always had a deep hatred for everyone around me, so I prefer to work alone. I guess we can both agree that this ‘friendship’ is not because we want it, but because it is a necessity.” Bitch please, as if I'm actually threatened by the fact that he is looking hungrily at me. With his eyes slitted, with that glazy haze in them.

God dammit fucking body, get out of my goddamn head! "Bet he's just saying that to make himself look better" I barely mumble out. The statement seemed brave when I first conceived it, but after saying it I realize it was more to reassure myself than anything.

“Anyways, I believe I’ve found the clearing from yesterday.” And cue the topic change.

There it is, sure enough. The accursed clearing that housed me for the first peaceful moments of my time here. I push past him and check around to see if I can find the stupid thing. Of course. I put the black indestructible case on that stupid thing when I left the house. After losing my first one to slipping during work I had immediately gone out and bought a case. Of course now my colour choice was going to bite me in my furry ass.

His claw motions to a dark shady spot. “Is that it over there?” And of course he points to some random piece of shit hanging from a low branch.

"No that's not it. It doesn't help that the fucker is in a dark black case. Yes that's a colour." Everyone gets on my case about my saying it's dark black, assholes.

“Well duh, of course black is a color. It wouldn’t be there if it wasn’t.” Wow, just the opposite reaction.

"No I meant dark black is a colour. People always get screwy when I tag a dark onto black."

His eyes take another trip around in their sockets. “Whatever. Anyways, let’s hurry up and find it so we can get to the town and make sure these wounds aren’t infected.” He goes back to searching

Oh lord this guy is a catch. “Where have you been all my life?” I quietly mumble. My life would have been so much more interesting with someone who can argue with me and not try to cart me off to prison or something.

I’m not surprised that it took 10 blasted minutes to find the damnable thing. And by god the fucker was hanging from a low branch that was just out of reach. “I hate my life, so much.”

He gives a thoughtful look at the appearance of this roadblock, which more than I can say for myself. “Well, I could give you a boost up so you can grab it with your mouth.”

…

That’s actually not a bad idea, i mean i can’t think of anything better so, what the hell. Of course i’d probably go through hell and high water to get to that thing if i was in the same situation. Call it my, ‘fall back plan’ for when i get super pissed. “Alright, i’m game.”

I jump on his back and reach up with my neck. Damn, still too fucking short by an inch. Maybe if i stand on his head?

I put my forehooves on top of his head eliciting an animalistic growl from him. I couldn’t care less, i managed to nick the cord with my front teeth, pulling on it to free my prized possession. I jumped to the ground, ignoring the sharp pain that traveled up my leg. I had the only thing i could call my own back. The one good thing in this screwed up universe.

“Now how the hell am i going to attach it somewhere so i can listen to it?” Thinking out loud, i’m almost always alone so usually it isn’t a problem.

He spreads his wings partially to show his little device tucked securely in the crook of one of them, perfectly accessible. “Just try placing it under your wing. They’re kind of like a natural multi-tool.” I take a good look at his setup before trying to spread my wings. I manage to open them a little, still hating the fact that i actually had them. Reaching around, i tuck my precious device in the crook of it, folding my wing up to encompass it.

He turns to the direction of the supposed town. “Alright, now that we have gathered your effects, let’s see if we can reach the town without any interruptions.”

“I highly doubt it.” Woo, go pessimism. “Ten bucks, or whatever the equivalent is in this universe’s currency, says we get jumped by something.”

“Heh, more than likely.”Yay another pessimist, this trip’ll be fun. He begins walking in the direction of, what i hope is, the nearest town.

We continue walking for a few more minutes. Wow this is going to suck. I mean, i’ve been in some stupid situations but this truly takes the cake. A low growl is emitted from the bushes beside us. My mind immediately went back to the fight with the timber wolves. And with that memory came fear. Fear of death, the fear that all prey shares. And I hated it.

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Scott

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The growl is deep, giving away that the being is probably rather large. We both turn towards the source of the noise; a nearby bush. I hold out my right talon in front of James, limping forward a bit. gah! This wound on my leg is killing me!

“K-keep your fingers to yourself. I’m p-perfectly capable of knowing when to s-stop.” I roll my eyes slightly at his pretend braveness.

“Yeah, whatever. Now hold on while I go check this out.” I shove him a bit backward and ignore his protests, slowly inching towards the offending bush. I approach it, dip my talons into the leaves and part them. And on the other side of the vegetation, I find something that will scar me for life.

I turn and run directly into James, grabbing him and throwing him onto my back and ignoring the burst of pain in my leg. “WHAT THE FUCK! PUT ME THE FUCK DOWN YOU MORONIC BIRD FUCKING BRAINED LITTLE FUCK! I HAVE HARD HOOVES AND I WILL NOT HESITATE TO SMACK YOUR SHIT UP!”

I turn my head to him and yell at the top of my lungs. “James! Shut up! I’m trying to save our lives! Also, don’t look behind us no matter what you do!” I begin running as fast as my injured body will let me and jump over a log.

I can hear the forest behind us getting destroyed by the creature chasing us. I hear James yell into my ear hole as we run, “Well, against my better judgement, I’ve listened to you so far and not looked! So can you tell me what the fuck is chasing us?!”

I skid past a tree and keep running trying to get away from the beast that was chasing us. “When I looked into the bush, I got extremely lucky. The creature that’s chasing us is a basilisk straight out of mythology.” He stays silent, so I can assume he’s being quiet so I can focus on getting us to that town.

As it would turn out, a giant snake chasing with a gaze that could kill you is incredibly good incentive to run what feels like a marathon. Unfortunately, for all my running, I can sense that the snake is getting closer and closer.

I run past another barrier of trees just wide enough for me to jump through, but not strong enough to keep the basilisk from breaking through instantly, and into a small clearing. I realize my mistake as I examine the trees surrounding the clearing; all of them form a type of barrier like the one I just jumped through, except that these are all much too close for me to get through.

I quickly run over to the barrier on the far side. The basilisk is taking its time now that it knows I can’t escape. I find a small pocket that goes through to the other side of the barrier. I unceremoniously drop James on the ground, grab him, and shove him through. Of the two of us, he is small enough to get through.

“Hey James, this is where we part ways, just like we wanted. You can get to the town if you head in the direction I was running. Get there and get some medical help. All I have left to say now is that it has been an absolute nightmare working with you.” I finish with a smirk and grin, turning around to face the basilisk, but not looking into its eyes.

"Oh fuck no!" The idiot jumps back through the small opening and hits me as he does so. “First off, you are not allowed to have this type of fun without me! Second, don't be a pussy and commit suicide." He turns away from me and towards the basilisk with his eyes closed. “Come at me ya fucker! If you're going to eat somebody eat me first so I can rip out your insides to make more room!"

I roll my eyes before wondering how I could be so stupid; I just tried to make an American run away from a fight. Oh well, if we’re going down, we’re going to hurt this creature as much as possible before we do. We share a glance with each other, and as though we’ve been working together for years, we begin circling around the basilisk the best we can with our injuries.

The basilisk, like other species of this world, is much smarter than it looks and realizes what we’re doing. Immediately it shoots towards James, the weaker of us two.

His ears shoot up, and he jumps out of the way. Fortunately, the basilisk only got a glancing blow on him. "Damn you!" He turns back to the basilisk, obviously very pissed."My turn"!” He jumps onto it and latches onto the thing’s back.

His laughing makes me roll my eyes as I jump towards him to keep him from being suicidal. However, something else does it for me, as he’s blasted off and I’m blasted backwards from an explosion centered on the basilisk.

I get back up to my paws and talons and look around. “What the hell? Where did that come from?” I look to my right and see James lying on the ground, twitching. I knew he shouldn’t have jumped the giant snake.

“Attack!” My eyes shoot straight up to see one of the most terrifying scenes ever. Twenty Lunar Guards are dive-bombing the clearing with ferocity. They all land in between us and the basilisk, charging their horns for another explosive attack.

The dust is preventing any visual of the dangerous creature. Suddenly, the snake jumps out of the dust and stares at one of the guards straight in the eyes. He immediately collapses, obviously dead.The captain yells at the others, “Regroup! We need to stun this bastard long enough to get away!”

They make a much more successful circle around the basilisk than James and I did, frustrating the snakes with constant jabs from all sides. After enough pestering however, it spins, using its tail to knock out a few of the guards close to me.

Looking at the gap, I see an opening. ‘Oh, I am going to get so much shit for this later from the guards.’ I run past the perimeter of the circle, ignoring the guards shouting at me to stay back. I open my wings and use them to propel me forward and into the air, landing on the basilisk’s neck right behind its head.

It begins shaking its entire body in an attempt to get me off. I can see now why James was having so much fun earlier. I dig my talons into the scales on its skull, dragging myself further up its body. Finally reaching the forehead, I lift one of my talons into the air, and bring it down, digging into its right eye.

The ugly beast cries out in pain, shaking even harder, this time succeeding in throwing me off. I slam into a tree at the edge of the clearing, my vision dimming from the hard hit. Three Lunar guards step in front of me, warding off the basilisk from attacking me.

Suddenly, from across the clearing, I hear a familiar voice shout out, “Hey! That’s not fucking fair! Why did he get to ride the snake?! It’s my turn!” James shoves past the guards, despite his weakened condition, surprising us all. Any normal being would still be out cold from an explosion like that. That’s when I chuckle, realizing why. Humans do have a rather...interesting mind set.

He roars and pumps his bloodied wings, propelling himself even further than me, smashing into the other eye and effectively blinding the snake. It lets out another roars and starts shaking everywhere, attempting to hit any of the ponies gathered.

It fails miserably, instead hitting its head on one of the thicker trees. A few of its teeth are knocked out of its mouth and land next to it. It finally stops moving, waiting in defeat for the final blow. I walk past the guards, who are all still a bit shocked at what we did. Every step I take makes me gasp in pain as it shifts the broken bones in my wing and ribs.

I tentatively grab ahold of one the teeth and get closer to the dying animal. Once I am right next to it, I look over to where James lies on the ground, looking as broken as I feel. He’s watching me with barely open eyes, and when he sees what I’m about to do, he understands why, and just smirks.

I look back to the basilisk, which is now lying completely still. I place a talon onto its black iridescent scales. I feel it flinch slightly away from the unexpected contact, then go still again, waiting. I raise the fang into the air, whispering, “I am sorry it had to end like this, but it is called survival of the fittest,” to the snake.

I bring the fang down as hard as I can, digging through what left of its right eye and straight into the brain, killing it quickly. Unfortunately, the moving had shifted my bones...a lot. The pain, coupled with all the trauma my body had received, forcing me to the ground and black out at the same time as James.

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Luna

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I paced around the throne room, anxious for news of what had occurred in that strange forest.

The anomaly i had sensed was not the usual rogue spell that Tia’s student happened to pounce on. This was more like an older spell from when the Canterlot Academy Magic Discovery Team was busy researching new spells.

Against my better judgement i had sent for a squad of soldiers to check on the disturbance. No doubt whoever was behind this was either stupid or had devious intentions. Either way it was dangerous for them to go unchecked romping through society

A sharp rap on the throne room’s doors snapped me out of my thoughts. Eager for news i quickly trotted over and opened them. Instead of a captain i was greeted however by a courier i had sent to check on the odd filly that I had rescued from a very… disturbing nightmare the night before.

"What has become of the filly I sent you to check on?" I asked curtly

"Your majesty, no sign of the filly anywhere, however, I did find two sets of tracks leading to the city of Manehattan. I'm sorry princess, but whoever it was was long gone by the time I got there."

"I see…" this wasn't horrible news, but it was not the news I had been hoping for. "Very well, alert watchers in manehattan to look out for suspicious activity. Yes I know that any odd things will be hard to spot, just make sure they report their findings and that all reports are delivered to either me or my sister." That should take care of that situation. Too bad Tia is away on a diplomatic meetings, she would probably be better at this than we-I would.

The courier still stood at attention, waiting for further orders. "That is all, forgive me, I am deep in thought."

He gave me a forgiving smile. "Quite alright princess, what you have said shall be done, don't you fret."

"Thank you, Swift Wing, I know I can count on it."

He departed and I was once again left waiting for the news of the scouting party. My pacing speed increased as a number of scenarios ran through my head. 'What if they were hurt and couldn't escape? What if they were already dead? Did they get lost?

It seemed like hours that my pacing continued for. I figure I've probably worn a groove into the floor. But a quick look down confirms that to be false. "Ugh! Where are they?"

A few quick frantic knocks once again interrupt my thoughts. Once again when I opened the door I did not find my captain waiting to give a report. Instead it was another guard under him.

He did a quick bow which I didn't care about. "Your majesty, your presence is needed down at the infirmary!" My eyes immediately widened in surprise, some ponies must have been hurt!

"What's wrong? Who has been injured? Will they be alright?" My words came more jumbled than I had meant but it seemed like he knew what I was saying.

"It is fine princess, we had one casualty in the forest due to an unprecedented run in with a basilisk. The two in the infirmary are a charcoal black griffon and a grey pegasus we found combating the creature before we arrived." Well that is surprising. They must have been all that was left of a hunting party that happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. "Princess." I lightly shook my head to clear my focus. "Would you like me to escort you?"

No need to dismiss help when it wouldn't be an issue to have it. “Very well, lead the way.”

We started off down the hallway towards the guard’s quarters and the infirmary. Along the way, the many servants bowed and the guards snapped to attention as we passed. Fortunately, many of the staff had come to greet me as kindly and as sincerely as my sister.

We reached the infirmary in what seemed like no time at all. I pushed open the doors with my magic, and strode in, the many guards turning and giving me a salute. Up towards the front, I found my captain, more tense than usual. “Well? Report Lightning Strike. Who are our guests?”

He brought down his hoof, obviously a little worried, but what about, I did not know. “Well your majesty, we do not know. After killing the basilisk, they both collapsed from the amount of trauma their bodies had taken.” He paused for a quick breath, starting again before I could talk. “According to the present medic, they should have been unconscious far earlier. But, they killed a full-grown basilisk without any assistance from us.”

He met my incredulous gaze head on with the steely resolve in his own; he was no fool. “This could mean they are the source of the magical disturbance, correct?” He simply nodded his head, allowing me to continue. “Very well. The safety of our ponies is in jeopardy; I will try to enter the dream of one of the two and seek out their intentions.” I looked around, realizing that everypony in the room had stopped to listen to our conversation. “Well? Don’t you all have work to do?”

They all scurried back to their tasks like mice fleeing from a cat, the very thought making chuckle a bit. Biting back the rest of my mirth, I motion for my captain to follow me to the griffon’s bedside. “I’ll return in a little bit.” With that, I lean down and press my horn to his forehead, the world going dark as my mind is sucked into that of another.

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Scott

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I used to have those weird dreams where I would just be laying in bed then boom, I’m in a dream. This is exactly what happened this time. I look around at my surroundings, finding it hard to decide on what they are exactly.

One second, it appears I’m surrounded by trees, the next buildings, and then something else I can’t describe. However, the one thing they all seem to have in common is that they’re obscured by a curtain of black mist.

Upon finishing my investigation of my surroundings, I then investigate myself. In this dream I still appear to be in the form of a black griffon. However, something seems to be a bit off, “But what could it possibly be?” I stop, realizing my voice sounded different as well; much different.

I hum a bit and sing a few short lyrics too before I confirm my suspicions; yup, I am a young female griffon for whatever reason my subconscious has. I sigh, happy in the knowledge that this is fortunately just a dream.

I look around at my surroundings once again, realizing just how big they seem now that I know I’m tiny. I notice that the area around me has decided to finally settle on a clearing much like the one with the basilisk.

Suddenly, I feel an urge to jump to the side as quickly as I can. Trusting my instincts, I obey the command and jump to the side as a massive figure crashes down right where I was. I skid along my left wing before coming to stop about six feet away. I roll away just in time as a black fist crushes the area where i was just standing.

I back up quickly to put much more distance between myself and the figure, finally out of range of its attacks. The shape in the dust stops moving around so much, the silhouette taking the shape of something familiar. The dust clears and my suspicions are proven correct; in front of me, stands a black griffon.

He’s quite similar to my normal form in the waking world, with a few key differences. Such as being about two times bigger, the claws in his talons and paws having small serrated edges along the bottom, what appeared to be dried blood matting down some of his fur and feathers, and several primaries missing from his wings. However, I cannot see his eyes, as they, and most of his face is hidden behind a bone white featureless mask with red markings on it.

He looks at me from behind the mask, seemingly taking me apart piece-by-piece. Shakily, I call out to him in my new voice, “Who are you? I have suspicions of who you might be, but it’s better to hear it from your own beak!”

There’s no chuckle or change in his body, just the same look of tense muscles, almost as though he's angry, I realize he’s had since he first arrived. After breathing in, he begins to speak, his voice low and grating, almost like Master Chief, but rougher and deeper. “I am you. I am your rage, hate, pain, and almost any other emotion or mindset that gives you those dark thoughts. Every time you’ve begun contemplating how to kill someone? That was me.”

I back away a little more, trying to put as much distance as possible between us. If he is the one he says he is, then I am in trouble; this is what made me human. This guy, is the dream form of all my cruelty, and all that stuff he said rolled up into a nice big package.

I continue to stare at him in fear, realizing that if that’s the form of my dark side, then this body is probably what my light side looks like. Sure does make sense.

Uh-oh, it looks like he’s getting ready to attack. The giant griffon crouches down low to the ground, and just as he moves to jump at me, he bursts into a fine black mist.

And through that mist, I see the Princess of the Night emerge. Finally letting a little bit into my current body’s instincts, I let a fangirl scream, one that I would regret later, and almost jump her. However, I’m stopped when the black mist shoots at me and penetrates me (like from Shadow of the Colossus you sick minded perverts).

I drop to the ground, writhing as I feel my bones and skin shift. Once it finally stops, I cease my struggling, then looking down. I realize that I am now not only back in my original griffon form, but also laying at the feet, or hooves, of royalty. I scramble back to a respectful distance, bowing once I reach it.

After a few seconds, I look up to see an amused reaction on her face. Did she find my embarrassment to amusing? Oh well, to each their own, right? “I noticed something odd about you as soon as I saw you in the hospital bed. However, it is a bit worse than I thought; your sides are much more split than they should be. Care to explain?”

Holly sheet! I was about to talk to the Princess Luna like she was my therapist! This was the best thing ever! I open my mouth to reply, when I’m interrupted by the loud noise of someone getting hit, and myself being jerked rather painfully from my dreamscape.

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Five Minutes Earlier: James

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Oh god, there was a bunch of bug ponies, then I was a pony, and then we got attacked by a mythological snake. Somebody get the address of the ass hole who hit me because I wanna go blow his fucking head off.

My eyes flutter open and receive a extremely bright light.

"Doctor, this one seems to be waking up!" Doctor? Wait, doctors are in hospitals!

I try and sit up but my aching body forces me to collapse. "Please sit still, you are badly injured and need to be in a bed for a couple of days." Oh yeah?

"Says who? Certainly not you." Stupid doctors, always telling people how to ruin their lives.

"Says me that's who." Oh god, macho voiced doctor. Those guys scared me. For some reason whenever I ended up in the hospital (fairly rare) I always got those kinds of doctors…

I turn to look at this new doctor. "Oh yeah, well you can…" my eyes widen as I take in his form. Equine, dark black coat with deep purple armour covering his head and barrel (yeah I know horse anatomy. Didn't think I'd ever need to use it though).

"You were saying?" Oh right, macho pony dude.

"You're a pony…"

"Correct."

"I'm a pony…

"Correct…"

Here comes the clincher. "That snake thing was real?"

"Yes…" okay…

"Um, okay, alright then…" I tense, apparently I did it visually because the pony flexed, ready to receive a pounce that would never come. "Bye!"

I launch myself out of the bed, my only thought being 'I've got to get out of here!' My escape wasn't planned very well as there were at least another dozen guards in the room besides macho. "Stop him! His body hasn't fully recovered yet!" Time to shut you up Mr. Doctor!

I'm about to introduce his muzzle to my hoof when I see a large dark blue horse putting what looks like a horn up to Scott's neck. That is not going to fly with me!

I jump off the doctor pony and go sailing through the air towards to large blue pony. Many shouts and screams rang through my ears as I made contact. There was a short burst of energy as her horn lost contact with his head.

Oh god! She must have been doing some kind of mind control spell in him!

My thoughts were interrupted by the shouts of about 4 or 5 ponies jumping on top of me, pinning me down to probably make room so I could receive the 'treatment'.

My mind is my own and that will never change. "Get the fuck off me you sick bastards, before I punch a hole through your eyeballs." I swear I heard a stifled laugh from one the guards that was pinning me.

All I have to say to that is, nope! I yank my hoof out from under the guard that had giggled and uppercutted him with the now free hoof. The other four were so surprised that they weren't holding my appendages down very well anymore. Successive yanks and punches left our roles reversed.

“Ugh, that was painful...what’s going on?” Finally my companion managed get his lazy ass up. Too bad the bandages constricting his ribs restrict his movement.

The leader, who I assumed was Mr. Macho scowled at me. Ass, you can't scare me! "Bitch stay away from my fr…meat shield! I've only got one in this fucked up world and I'd prefer not to lose it!" I took up a defensive stance in front of Scott's bed; none of the other ponies even blinked.

"Look, sir," Ha! He called me a sir, what a joke. "We mean neither you nor your friend any harm. Please calm down and get back into the bed."

I still didn't like this pony. "We're in a hospital. Who put me here?" I turned to face in his general direction. "You?" He nodded once. "Good, one day I'm going to knock you upside for bringing me to this accursed place! Too many fucking people die in hospitals and doctors charge you for saving your life!" Speaking of which, the other doctor is still here isn't he? "And if I get a damn bill from you I'm going to rip it up and feed it to you for breakfast."

The doctor pony cowered behind macho guard pony, while the latter took a step closer. "You're badly injured please return to your bed."

Oh yeah the only person who's going to be injured is... Wow, do I feel woozy right now. "I do believe I have a date with the floor gentlemen." And with that I flopped to the floor, barely conscious. My adrenaline fueled body had finally giving out to the excitement.

Scott gets off the bed and limps over to me, his bad leg dragging behind him. “James, you idiot; they’re trying to help us.” He turns towards that accursed pony called a doctor. “I’m sorry, but I think he only trusts me a slight bit, which is a lot more than you. I’ll drag him back.” Ha, wait, actually he does have a small bit of trust… a small bit. But to add insult to injury he picks me up by my good leg and starts dragging me to my bed.

“Screw you birdy… i’m perfectly capable of reaching the bed myself.” I look up and glare at the doctor again. “And you! I’m not done with you yet!”

“Ignore him." Why the audacity of some people! Ignoring my grunts of unapproval he dragged me to the base of my bed. “Can’t put you up on top of the bed right now, so I’ll just leave you here. Now, stay. I need to go speak with the princess if she will.” And with that he leaves, still limping. Wimp

Wait, royalty, where? And how did he know her? "Wait, who? And stop man, er I guess it's pony, handling me!"

He stops and looks back at me in exasperation. “The royalty I’m hoping to save your skin from is the one you jumped while she was talking to me in my dreams. You may have just almost killed us by attacking one of the two princesses.” He turns towards the blue pony and walks towards her, not once looking back. What? So I accidently pummel royalty. No biggie, I've done worse.

I look at the guards apologetically. "What? I have an aversion to authority. Not my damn fault you lot happened to put us in a situation right out of a movie."

I manage to summon up what extra respect I have saved over the years should I need to kiss somebody's ass and turned towards the large blue pony I had jumped. "Sorry ma'am, I did not understand what was occurring and acted in a way that was most unbecoming of me. Accept my apologies." And that used every last drop… oh well, just means people will have the monumental task of earning respect from me. Good luck to whoever tries.

Scott takes a glance at the pony to see if she will accept my 'apology'. She simply smiled and leans closer to me than I feel comfortable with. “It’s alright little pony.” Her tone says 'accident', but her smile screams 'on purpose!' Then she leaned even closer to a point that we were almost nose, or I guess muzzle, to muzzle.“I have the perfect way for you to make up for your mistake.”

"Okay lady, two things we need to get across. One, I'm not a little pony, try that again and I will punch something, it might not be you but it will be something. Two, I don't do sexual favors." My frown increased at the end if my statement. Need to let this wacko know that I’m perfectly serious.

The entire room was hushed in an instant. Then that idiot scott burst out laughing like a madman. “Hahahahaha! That isn’t what she meant at all! She’s way too socially awkward to ask for something like that!” With that he collapses onto the ground, obviously very tickled by what I had said. I started to wonder when he would stop, then he chuckled softly and looked around. Obviously seeing the lack of people laughing with him he got up.

Oh god, and here I thought I was going to be the first one to embarrass himself. "Socially awkward? Look in the mirror and say that again. That laughing fit you had was just plain disturbing…"

Oop. There's a sigh, got to keep track of those. So Luna has one and Scott has 4 or 5. “I don’t know what to make of either of you. However, my sister may.” She turns towards that accursed pony doctor. “Doctor, will you let these two patients move around?”

Ha that's funny… "He has no fucking choice! I'll move around til I fall over dead. Sitting in bed is a waste of time."

Scott nods his head in agreement. Ha! I knew that I wasn’t the only one who hated hospitals! “Sorry doc, but I have to agree here. There’s too much that needs to be discussed... privately.”

I frown; I never did like discussions regardless of what they were about, but the way he said it made it imply that everyone should leave so I'm all for it! "Yeah, so um, shoo! Everyone shoo, yeah goodbye I don't care about your company, go away you're annoying."

Hey look he can move his eyeballs in a circle, congrats! “Hey, I meant that we should go somewhere private; much less energy spent trying to get privacy.”

Works for me. "That's good too." I start to leave and end up tripping on my way out. Much to my displeasure I hear hooves softly clop behind me. "No I don't need help dammit. Go away!"

I hear a deep sigh before he obviously addresses the blue pony. “Sorry about his attitude, but where we’re from, you have to be vicious to survive.” He pauses, apparently getting some sort of reaction from another pony in the room. “I‘ll explain when we’re all together, no offense meant at seemingly bossing you around.”

“Yeah yeah, sure, sure… so can we go now?” Wait, what did he say to the blue horse again. “Wait, she’s coming too? Doesn’t that defeat the purpose of finding ‘privacy’.” And then I tripped. Stupid habit of making air quotes to get my point across!

Thanks be to whatever god is on this planet that Scott ignored my injury for once. “We need Princess Luna here because she is part of a diarchy with her sister. We need to gain their support.”He begins walking beside the pony princess and motions for me to follow. Okay just because I'm an animal doesn't mean I'm going to be treated like one! But it's either that or stay with the doctors and creepy macho dude.

“Okay, so that is a plus side to having her as a ‘friend’.” Success no falling! “What if i just don’t care?” Which i didn’t.

He stops and turns towards me, speaking quietly. “The only reason you weren’t thrown into a jail cell immediately, is because I intervened and appealed to her better nature. If you get thrown into a cell, how will we find a way to get home?” He stares into my eyes, patiently awaiting my answer.

A way home? A WAY HOME?!? Is he really that dumb to not see that that is not the ONLY problem we have right now! “I COULDN’T CARE LESS ABOUT GOING HOME I DON’T WANT TO BE A FOUR LEGGED BARNYARD ANIMAL ANYMORE!” I blinked and found that my front hooves had grasped the sides of his beak and we were face to face. Huh, I wonder when that happened?

There's a shift in his eyes, as if he became a different entity.“Get your hooves off of my face. If you weren’t stupid enough to attack every single thing that tried to help us, we would be well on our way to recovery. When I said ‘find a way home’, I meant that we would find a way to become human again. Besides, it would be better if there wasn’t a human influence in Equestria.” He growled in a low voice that was enough to draw chills from m-the pony body.

He glances around before resuming his glare at me. “As a bonus, you just screamed out biggest secret as loud as you can, in the middle of an open plaza.”

Ahahaha allow me to explain myself in three simple words. “Well here are three words that rule my life constantly. I. Don’t. Care.” But I digress I don’t understand the second part. “What do you mean influence, so far we’ve seen monsters, guards with weapons, and hospitals. It doesn’t look like it can get much worse from here.”

He pushes away my hooves, which for some reason were still attached to his face. “I know you don’t care, but if you keep blabbing whatever you want in public, it will impede the progress of our own goals. Now, we should probably not keep Luna waiting.”

“Excuse me.” Oh great it’s the blue pony, no wait Luna, got to remember that name. “I’m now sure that the both of you are

not here in violence against Equestria, but what are you going on about?” Innocence, time to ruin it!

“Well pony princess, my name is Luke Skywalker. This is my father Lord Darth Vader. We somehow managed to survive the explosion of the Death Star, but ended up here by accident, can you help us get home?” Ah, I needed to relieve my extra built up sarcasm. It was starting to gnaw at the edges of my mind.

I braced myself for the inevitable. A clawed talon slapped across my grinning face.“Let the grown-ups talk please. Anyways, my name is actually Solanum, and his is…” he trails off, obviously expecting me to give a phony name for myself.

“You know that actually did hurt ya ass. Another thing, just because we’re in pony land doesn’t mean I’m suddenly going to change my name!” Bad enough the dick changed his. I was just starting to actually remember what it was.

“Do you two always argue this much?” Why yes, princess obvious, we do. “I don’t see how the two of you would be companions if you do not keep good company with each other.”

“Lady, I don’t keep good company with anybody. Everyone stays the fuck out of my business and I pretend I actually give a shit about theirs sometimes.”

“That doesn’t sound like a very nice childhood. Where did you live?” Oh great, we’re at that prying stage in the conversation. God I hated these kinds of people. But on pain of another slap I might as well humor her.

“I lived in this tiny ass town named Winfield.” There, happy now?

“I have never heard of such a town, pray tell, what state is it in?” I feel like faceplanting just to get the torture over and done with. No wait, that’ll put me back in the hospital.

“Iowa.”

“I can’t say I’ve ever heard of that state either. You must be a traveler from far away I presume then?”

I’m so annoyed that all I can make out is a mumble. “Yes, you could say that.”

“Wonderful, we’re actually getting somewhere!” She turned to Scott, or is it Solanum now? “And where might you be from, strange griffon?”

He chuckles. “I’m from ‘Murica.”

“Really? Really? I mean come on, that’s the best you’ve got!? I figured if you were making up names you might as well get good, but Murica? What the holy mother god fuck is wrong with your brain?” To be honest I wasn’t being fair to him. I probably should have tacked on a few more insults to that.

Success! Eye roll!“However Princess Luna, that is why we needed to speak with you and your sister; we’ll explain everything then.”

“Why not now? You got me out of the stupid hospital to talk with her and now you say we won’t? What are you? A indecisive woman?” Granted that did come out a bit sexist, but it’s true!

“Impatient little one isn’t he?” Yeah great, insult the only pon-person making logical sense.

"Like I said, ignore him. Seriously though, how long until we meet Celestia? My leg’s beginning to burn again.”

”Well, she’s actually not here right now; it’s just me.”

He drops a swear under his breath. “No offense, but why didn’t you tell us sooner? We could’ve made this trip a whole lot easier.” Both of us them realize that we had stopped in front of a large pair of doors with crescent moons on them “This is your room isn’t it?”

“Wow, this is awkward. Well I’m officially uncomfortable, glad to have met you, thanks for not incarcerating us but obviously you’re tired, so bye!”

“Yes it is. Though I did not mean to come this way, odd that we stumbled across it while aimlessly wandering.” Wow, she actually took his advice and started ignoring me.

“Hooray!” And that’s when I take off down the hall.

Holy shit I’m floating! Oh god why the hell am I floating?! I turn back and see Luna's horn glowing with dark blue aura. I slide through the air and back to her and Sco-Solanum. “Now, shall we enter and discuss these ‘important’ details you keep speaking of?”

Solan (I’m just gonna call him that;  makes it so much easier.), of course, opens the door and holds it open for her royal cheapness. “Sure, why not.”

“You both suck.. like REALLY SUCK! You princess Luna or whatever for using your magic to cheat. And you Sco-Solan for just generally being a dick sometimes.”

He winks in reply. “My pleasure.”

“Touche bro, that was actually pretty good.” I had to give credit to where it was deserved, else I would feel absolutely

stupid. “Hey Luna, can you let me down? I promise not to try to run away.” Oh I am so going to book it as soon as she lets me go.

He plasters a big grin all over his face and turns to Luna. “Do you pinkie promise?”

Luna for her part gasped in surprised. “Surely, you can’t be serious.”

Scott's face remains stoically serious. “I am serious, and don’t call me Shurly.”

“I can sense the hidden meaning behind that. Obviously it has some meaning behind the words. So yes I ‘pinkie promise’.” Idiots, I don’t have pinky fingers anymore!

Apparently this is what he wanted because he is still grinning. “Hold on, you gotta do something first.” Scott/Solanum guides me through the crossing of my heart with my hooves. Then he flaps my fire hooves like wings and finally guides my foregoing to almost poke myself in the eye.

“Okay… Um, what the hell are you doing to me?” Luna lets me down after the motions are completed.

His face becomes from.“Something sacred. Now, if you attempt to run, you’ll be chased by something worse than the devil himself. And no, I will not elaborate.” He shudders.

“Hey Scott,” I say, forgetting about his new name, “Describe my life in a nutshell would you?”

He doesn't even have the decency to look at me. “Here are the three words that describe my life. I. Don’t. Care.”

“Eh, close enough. BYE!” I bolt for the blessed doors and make it around the corner before the princess can capture me once again. Tell you something. I’m the same species as royalty of a country, situated in their room, and they also happen to be the opposite sex. I see where this disney story is going. And boy I do not want to get to the end!

I hear claws scrape against the stone floor; Scott has given chase. “James! Whatever you do, don’t break the promise!”

“WELL FOR ONE I HAD MY HOOVES CROSSED! AND TWO, I DON’T CARE! HAHAHAHAHAHA EAT WHATEVER I’M KICKING UP ASS HOLE! OH SHIT STAIRS!” By god I’ve found the natural enemy to the pony, stairs. Those fuckers came up at the end of the hallway and I became airborne. Funny, I don’t remember going up any stairs getting to Luna’s room. But no matter. time to hit the stone stairs on my way down.

“Ow!” *thump* “FUCK!” *thump* “YOU!” *thump* “STUPID” *thump* ”ARCHITECTS!” *thump*

"I told you not to break your promise!" Yes, because breaking a promise causes people to fall down stairs.Sollimped down the stairs while Luna gracefully trotted behind. “Might wanna tie him to a chair when we get back. Besides, it’s not like he’ll be going anywhere.

"So I broke my leg again." I try to stand, getting a painful result that causes me to wince. "Big deal. You can't hold me captive. You try and I will break YOUR foot off in your own ass."

"Why do you assume that I'm in possession of a donkey? We don't condone slavery here. Was it common practice where you came from?"

"Lady, er, Luna, your ass is your butt." I point and glance at said part of her body. "And yours seems to be graced with an awesome looking tattoo! Where'd you get it? Was it painful?" I'm much more curious than angry now, such is my fickle mind.

Luna glances at Solanum who decides to respond. “Don’t worry, that’ll be explained as well Princess.”

“Why do we need all this damn explanations just come out and say it or I will. You have 10 seconds.”

Maybe I should start counting eye rolls as well. That will start him at one I guess. “I’ll start the ten seconds when we get back to her room, and you’re tied down.”

“8-7-6, you know you really ought to be explaining instead of wasting your time. 3-2-1 Oh you know what, fuck it! I’m a human, he’s a human. We got kidnapped by changelings and I’m an asshole by nature. That all you wanted to know sweet cheeks?” Alright, i might have gone a bit far with that last comment but to be frank i really wanted someone to slap me again. Just in case i really was having an extremely lucid dream.

Luna glares at me for a few seconds before speaking. “First off, thank you for the comment about my mouth." I withhold a sarcastic comment. I know when to shut up thankfully. "Secondly, what is a human? And last, Solanum, are you going to give a more detailed explanation, in my room?”

Solanum has a face that looks more like a deer caught in headlights then that of a fierce mythological bird. I'll tease him about it later.“Um, yes I will, your majesty. Perhaps we should head there now?”

I smirk as Luna throws a glare at me for my sarcasm. “Yes, we should. Now come along you two.”

Floating around in magic sounds like fun, but it isn't. Princess of trolls, miss Luna dear, decided it would be funny to just parade me down the hallway. I caught a few snickers, but those were silenced after I glared at the offenders.

Finally we made it back into the bedroom and Luna shut the door. She set me on the bed, the magic dissipating around everything but my back leg. Before I can react, I blame my injuries, she has tied a sheet in a significantly complicated knot around my leg and that of the bed's. Again I curse the cheating abilities of magic ponies.

"There, that should take care of him. Please continue with your explanation." Hmmph.