Time Heist

Uncle Mike was kind of completely insane. Let me tell you a story about how I got one of my favorite weapons.

Okay so it goes like this: One day I went over to Mikes' house and knocked on his door. After three tries he doesn't answer, which isn't like him since he drops whatever he doing to answer the door. (Seriously, he could be disarming a bomb and he would stop to answer that door. Well, actually that happened once, but that's a different story.) Anyway. So he doesn't answer the door, so I go around back and hop the fence. 'Hey uncle Mike!' I had called out causing him to turn towards me. I hadn't noticed he'd been holding a massive coil-gun the size of a missile on his shoulder. (By the way a coil-gun is similar to a rail-gun.) Apparently I had startled him because the neighbor's shed exploded in a flash of light.

And that's the story of how Mike's neighbors learned that insurance policies don't cover electromagnetic weapons.

Mitchel slowly regained consciousness. Suddenly, the day's events returned and he snapped back into consciousness. He was lying upright against a large bookshelf, inside what appeared to be a room made out of one seamless piece of wood. Mitchel instinctively reached for his pistol before realizing two things; he was completely tied up and his Colt was missing. He quickly checked himself before realizing everything that hadn't been attached to him had been removed.

Mitchel attempted to break the ropes, when he was grabbed by an aura and held in place.

"Those ropes are enchanted and cannot be broken." Celestia explained as she entered the room.

"Bullshit!" Mitchel replied before resuming his struggle.

Celestia grabbed Mitchel and yelled using her royal voice, "YOU SHALL REMAIN STILL AND ANSWER MY QUESTIONS!"

Mitchel sat stunned for a moment before returning the yell, "NO, I REFUSE TO BE QUESTIONED BY A DEAD PERSON!"

Celestia blinked, "What are you talking about?"

"I put a bullet in your head so now your dead. Dammit why did that rhyme."

"I'm immortal, you-"

Mitchel made a loud coughing noise, "Bullshit!"

Celestia's patience with Mitchel ran out. "Enough of this! You will answer my questions!"

Mitchel looked to either side of himself. "Wait do you mean me? Hm, I don't see anyone-"

Celestia cast a silencing spell on Mitchel before he could finish. "Now, because you can't seem to handle talking you'll have to write instead." Celestia used her telekinesis to levitate a quill and parchment over to Mitchel.

Mitchel looked at the writing instrument for a moment before grabbing it and writing something on the paper. Celestia grabbed the paper and examined the writing. It was hard to understand since Mitchel's arm was still tied up but she could still make out what it said. I dnt knw how to rite

        Celestial face-hoofed.

"What is your name?" Celestia asked before undoing the spell.

Mitchel paused for a moment before hollering, "Leroy Jenkins!"

Celestia frowned, He's worse than Discord, she looked at Mitchel, "Fine, since you're not willing to talk I'll just have to wait. And trust me I'm not dying any time soon."

"I beg to differ!" Mitchel jeered as he began struggling.

"Shut up!" Celestia yelled as she fired another silencing spell at him.

"Now then." Celestia said as she walked over to the table where Twilight was examining his belongings. Twilight had sorted the few items they had removed into piles; weapons, tools, and miscellaneous. Twilight was carefully examining the smaller black weapon Mitchel had used to scare the ponies in town while Celestia examined his four bags.

She opened the first bag and frowned when it only contained identical pieces of paper. When she opened the second bag she was met with more of the same. Opening the third bag however she was surprised to find gold bars.

Celestia removed a bar and turned to twilight, "What do you think he was doing with this?"

Before Twilight could answer Mitchel began banging his head against the wall.

"Ready to talk?" Celestia asked as she removed the spell.

"Get your filthy hooves off of my money!" Mitchel yelled.

Now 'it's' taking this seriously. Celestia thought placing the bar on the floor before walking up to Mitchel. "Answer my questions first."

Mitchel gave her a stare before realizing the gas-mask still covered his face.

"What is your real name?"

"Mitchel."

"What are you?"

"Human."

"Where do you come from?"

"Planet, Earth."

"Why are you here?"

"I don't know! You're the one who tied me up and brought be here!" Mitchel yelled back growing annoyed.

"Answer the question." Celestia replied sternley.

"I don't know."

Celestia looked at him for a moment not being able to read his expressions.

Twilight walked over to Mitchel and began charging her horn. "I am sick and tired of you talking to Princess Celestia that way. Now you are going to tell me why your here."

"What can I say, time travel's a bitch." Mitchel shrugged.

"Wait you know time magic?" Twilight asked.

"No, I built a time machine."

"You built a time machine? You built a time machine. You built a time machine! Tell me everything." Twilight yelled entering another one of her episodes.

"Okay, this is taking to long. Why don't you untie me so I can just leave this world?" Mitchel asked.

Celestia and Twilight looked at him for a moment before exchanging glances. "Why in Equestria would we do that?" Twilight asked.

Mitchel quickly thought of an alibi, "Look, I'm sorry I attacked you but I didn't know what was going on. You see I am a courier of sorts and it is my job to transport money from bank to bank. So when I suddenly ended up here, I panicked and assumed someone was trying to steal the money. I'm sorry. I really am, I just want to take the my things and leave."

Twilight shook her head, "You still killed those guards."

        "Okay, this is taking to long." Mitchel said looking around the room for a means of escape.

        A flash of light appeared behind the two ponies. Celestial and Twilight turned to see an identical copy of Mitchel leaning against the wall.

        "Who are you?" Celestial asked.

        "The distraction." He replied.

        The two mares turned again to see another copy freeing Mitchel, before the two disappeared. Twilight and Celestia both felt something heavy pressing on them. Turning, the saw the Mitchel that had served as the distraction leaning on them.

        "Isn't time travel neat?" He asked.

        The two stood stunned before realizing, the man that had killed two ponies was currently free and standing between them. They jumped away only for Mitchel to grab their necks.

        "No you don't." He said before knocking their heads together causing them to lose consciousness.