The Beginning of a Beautiful Relationship... not really
The Beginning of The End... HA so cliche
READ IT READ IT READ IT!
In reality, a version of it at least
Why Hello there viewer! My name is [REDACTED!]. Are you comfortable? No? THEN GET CONFORTABLE! My God do you know the neck pain your gonna feel in a bit if you keep reading like that? Anyways, this is the story of a man. This is a Story that will lead into a great and powerful series of stories that I will write in my dark damp room as I start to laugh manically slowly over a period of… several days. Genius is random OK! Quit judging me! Right... this is a story.
I am a normal sane writer (LIES!) who is getting a lot of pressure to do these FanFics even though my username suggests what I feel about them. (LOL kidding, kind of). Now I want to introduce you to a man, not a pony. A man from a universe THAT I STOLE! (with permission... so hardcore).
“Hi”
This man is a 6’6 behemoth who has fought in many many wars, killed many many people, and is TOTALLY SANE FROM IT. OK Ok time to start being serious here.
This man is named Gerald Russman, the general and leader of-
“My name isn’t Gerald Russman…”
(There goes the seriousness) Yes it is! Now be quiet as I finish this story to begin a story.
“But my name is C-“
GERALD… RUSSMAN…!
“G- Gerald Russman” he said defeated
“Oh fuck off… you know my name is really-“
Yes I know but unfortunately for you, I changed your name and minor details of your past! You’re my original character now! AAAHHH HAHAHAHAHAHA! Ahem.
He lives in the crossover paradise know as HIS universe. Where he is a Jedi living on Earth where the 2 closest galaxies are IN FACT the Star Wars Galaxy and the Milky Way Galaxy. Oh yeah and he lives in the Era of the UNSC, his army spans that galaxy as peacekeepers, he is the bridge between the New Republic and the UNSC, his army is bi-species meaning he fights with both humans and Elites, he is a master at repurposing technology, and yada yada yada, he will eventually find himself in quite a pickle as soon as he ends up in Equestria.
MEANWHILE IN PONYVILLE! I Think its called…
Rainbow Dash was meandering about after a long hard day of doing absolutely nothing. The sky was clear and her friends busy so this is what happens. She finds a good spot on a mountain side to just take a long nap as nothing – at all – was going on.
But hey why should she complain? Napping was one of her favorite things, or have you the viewer not watched the show or read any other fanfic and this is your first? That’s OK I don’t like the show terribly much. I am totally about to screw up these ponies lives. Watch this!
Suddenly a terrible rock slide occurred! Rainbow woke up with mere nanoseconds to get out of the way! She was so shocked that she created a sonic rainboom just to get out in time, sending the rocks flying into a fragile swamp below destroying the
whole ecosystem! Mwuhahahaha! Ok fine she just got out of the way, your punishment is a non-descriptive telling of that.
“Ok that’s what I get for trying out new nap spots!” she shouted at herself as she facehooved in mid-hoover
Her week wouldn’t fair much better as with Twilight being a new alicorn, AJ being her usual busy self, Rarity filling out orders for a bloody huge ball, Pinky being random… in another town, and Fluttershy being Fluttershy. Rainbow started to think
about getting some new friends from new and exotic places. If only the new and exotic places would come to her.
Oh my God did I just set that up for the future or what!? Jeez that was so cliché but who cares, this is day one of my writing madness! Need to take it easy since my brain is still fighting me on this… and so is my heart, and maybe even my muscles a little bit. Good thing Rainbow is so damned easy to write for, I mean she really isn’t doing anything. I mean… seriously she is still hovering there! MOOOVE!
Rainbow suddenly looked around as if there was an evil force that was mad at her told her to move. She nervously turned around and started heading home but kept a look on her face that just said I will get you evil voice from nowhere!... Oh crap… I can’t break the fourth wall HERE on day one. Lets just leave for now.
Back to what barely constitutes reality
“I what?!” Gerald said shocked that he will soon be in the technicolor world.
“Har, har, just tell me why I end up there!? I am fighting a war if you haven’t noticed!? Against the [REDACTED] so that
they stop attacking us!”
“Did you just redact me? Also I am changing my nickname to Greg, no arguments"
Fine… and what of it? I can’t let the viewer know too much about you. It spoils the fun as you have flashbacks while with the ponies! Don’t worry there was already a story that was repurposed as a MLP fanfic where you attack them… in the very very very VERY far future. In fact it was originally meant to be a video. But that’s another day.
“Whoa go back, when do I do that? Why would I attack innocent beings?”
Gems, gold, diamonds, raw materials out the ying yang.
“Yeah I would totally invade for that… I won’t lie”, he said super manically.
“I didn’t say that super manically! Your being really inconsistent here for a
supposed good writer!” he said rather stupidly and ugly-y.
I am the author; I am god to you! Now if you don’t stop I will be forced to write horrible things to you, and you will have to do them! Oh and by the way at the end of this the fourth wall goes up, your memory goes gone, and the story begins.
“Well this SUCKS!” he shouted effeminately.
“You know what… I really RAGLEFRAGLE OOHHHH FUUUUU- !”
Greg was suddenly zapped by a random lightning strike that transcended reality, he would recover in a few days but to his dismay would forget the entirety of what happened in this half hour time span. (You do realize that you’re writing as if he WILL wake up but we are still here in the present with him unconscious and charred) Oh shut up narrator, your job is meaningless… That’s the narrator by the way everyone. (Sup, I am pretty much useless since you narrate it yourself with your own voice, WHICH IS WRONG, I tend to fuck with EVERYONE!) Pony… (SHUT UP!)
Yes please just try to ignore him, the only way he gets into these stories is through parenthesis and he is quite a troll. Anyway here is a rundown of how this goes. I am a script writer so I write with the intent of it BEING SEEN which is a challenge for me now, but this story should've sufficed, I mean the Rainbow dash part was ok in structure right? (You are beating a dead horse here...) Shove it.
This will not end well with TWO people trying to tell the story… (IIIIII am narrating it. Not writing it, so our jobs are different.) THEY ARE NEARLY EXACTLY THE SAME YOU BAFOON!
Hey… there is a person looking at us… (Oh shit your right). I think we left the fourth wall down long enough in this realm of reality…
THE END! OF TODAY!
Author's Note
I don't even... my brain gave me this, its about less than half my writing talent. At it isn't much help that the voice in my head keeps trying to mess with it.
WHY CAN'T THOSE FEW LINES FORMAT RIGHT! I GIVE UP FINE STAY THAT WAY! (Ha you gave up)... I HATE YOU NARRATOR!
