Proxy Paradox

Tango’s  eyes opened wide as he regained consciousness. His memory was filled with images of a very hellish environment. He remembers his team fighting through  hordes of obscene, horrific creatures. He remembered that this hell strangely looked like the town he had been told to assault. His whole body was in pain, and after a few minutes of settling the pain he managed to roll over.

"Fail, Vitality, Boom you here?," Tango asked as he looked around for his men. He looked in all directions around him and noticed that his men had left him laying on the ground.

After making these judgments Tango finally managed the strength to stand up.

Tango  began walking in a random direction. Tango had barely walked 20 feet before he heard a crunch of a twig behind him. He turned quickly and drew his revolver. He then saw a surprised but none the less shocked boom and Vitality standing there.

"Well, the fuck?" Tango said confused.

"Well we thought you were an opponent," Boom said as he  answers for the two.

"Hmm, it seems that we are in a forest of some sort," Tango said

"No shit," Vitality responds  throwing his two sense in.

"Alright this is the plan: this forest has an end right? An end we can find correct? Then lets fucking find that shit." Tango said in a tense tone

"Uhh it's right behind you." He says pointing out the fact that a plain is behind Tango.

Tango turned around to see a plain surprisingly.

"Fuck you Vitality," while still looking at the plains.

As SaltFire walked toward the plains, they began to think of a plan to survive in this environment that they were just set in.Tango finally decided that since this world has some plants close to Earth’s and that they shouldn’t try to eat the plants because some could be poisonous and there are no easily made cures.

After the men climb on to the top of a hill they notice a large sprawling town with brightly colors. The buildings seem to be from multiple ages because of their  wood buildings and thatch roofs. There is a building that seems to be a stereotypical American school house from the 1950’s. There is a large barn house on the farthest hill from ours that appears to be from the 1880’s. The market looking area appears to be from a jousting competition. There is a large building near the center of a town that is the largest of the others not on a hill.

"Alright if their friendly we find Fail. If they're not friendly we burn their town into ashes and still find fail." Tango says.

"Sounds like a plan Tango,"Boom states supportingly.

Tango turns to see that the sun is slowly falling or close to sunset.

"Alright we're not going in tonight but tomorrow<" He says with a yawn.

"Why not today?" Boom asks.

"Check on your helmet,” Tango then pointed to the front of his helmet, “ what's not there?"

Boom runs his hand up to where the nightvision goggles are normally are and feels nothing.

"That's why, Vitality and I still both have them.. well technically he does but it's a night vision scope and that still counts. Oh and here's another reason, you have nearly the same amount of firepower as a tank, so we make camp here for tonight," Tango said in a smartass tone.

While the remnants of SaltFire were setting up camp. Six ponies are setting up for a trip into the Everfree forest.

"Alright, girls are you ready?" Twilight asks anxiously.

"Why must we travel into the Everfree forest? It's so disgusting and musky," Rarity replies.

"The princess detected an abnormal amount of abnormal magic in the region so she's sending us," Twilight responds.

“Why us?” Rainbow Dash asked tiredly.

"Because she thinks it’s Chrysalis for the second time," Twilight answers.

"Well if Celestia thinks she's back in the Everfree forest then we gonna go," Applejack says.

"Alright then, if everypony is ready to go then let's go," twilight says enthusiastically as she goes to open the door. While they trot down the street out of Ponyville towards the Everfree forest the remnants of SaltFire were doing other things. They start walking up the large hills as the sun falls on top of it, setting a glow before it becomes pitch black.

We had gotten the camp fire setup and since the sun had long set we were sitting around the campfire in silence.

"Well........ today......... if you want to call it a day was crazy, well words don't describe,” Tango says to his squad in an attempt to begin a conversation.

"We got you Tango," Vitality cuts him off abruptly.

"Then since that road appears to not be working ill try a different one,” He continued.

"Alright I guess I'll tell a campfire story since they seem to be told here at campfires," He sighs.

"Stories, I love stories," a Pink pony like creature said while jumping out of the darkness.

                                   --Five minutes earlier--

"Twilight how much farther?" Pinkie asks hoping to be able to throw a party when she gets to where they were walking.

“Pinkie I have no clue,” Twilight responds with a rather grudging tone in her voice.

"Ugh, Twilight darling please tell me that we are near so this muck and dirt doesn't  mess my mane," Rarity proclaims.

"If I said that we are near to a clearing would that possibly help?" Twilight asked.

"Maybe if ya said how close this clearin' is," Applejack said.

"I can check," Rainbow Dash said and then proceeded  to fly up into the sky.

"Please hurry," Twilight responds

"Twilight, I'm not the fastest flyer in Equestria for nothing," Rainbow Dash said pridefully.

After a minute she came back with a worried look on her face.

"So what did you see?" Twilight asked.

Whatever that's over there it isn't Chrysalis, but it's nothing like I've seen," Rainbowdash said.

"They were tall, scary, and sketchy and there were three of them.” Rainbowdash said while using her hooves as examples.

“So where's Pinkie?” Rainbowdash asked after she had finished with her report.

“Wait Pinkie!” Twilight exclaimed as her friend started bouncing to the smoke of the campfire tango had made.

Pinkie observes the campfire happily as she waits for the perfect time to surprise her new visitors.

One of the visitors begins some jibberjaber speaking, but one thing that Pinkie heard, was stories. Pinkie decided that now would be the best time to announce herself, since their visitors they got to have good stories, right?

Pinkie jumps out of the bush proclaiming,"Stories I love stories."

"What the fuck is that?" Tango yells as he turns toward the voice.

Pinkie becomes shocked at the sudden outburst of anger and yelling from the one who seemed so nice earlier wanting to tell stories.

Pinkie was trembling and couldn't move from the pulse of fear that when through her body. The three stood up and pointed their weapons at the creature.

"Did that thing thing just talk?" Boom continued to ask.

"Y...yes........ please don't hurt me," Pinkie answered in fear.

After thinking about the present situation, Tango found a solution to it.

“Put your guns down,” Tango said commanding his men, “I'm pretty sure a pink talking horse isn't a threat.”

Tango then made a small motion for the soldiers to sit down.

As they sat down a sense of safety came to Pinkie Pie.

"So .......... Horse, you can talk correct?" Boom asked with curiosity in his voice.

“Yes!” Pinkie shouted with excitement. “You can too.” She said with a playful tone.

“Indeed,now why are you here?” Tango asked in a calm collective voice.

“Why are you here?” Asks a mysterious voice.

“Who is it now?” Tango asked with a tired grone.

Tango then turns to his left and he sees a small group of 5 ponies.

The purple one repeats itself,"Why are you here?"

“I randomly appeared here like you, did what about yourself?” Tango replies sarcastically.

“I am the one who asks questions here.” The purple pony responded angrily to Tango’s questioning.

Tango, Boom and Vitality all raise their weapons at the purple horse.

We have weapons, little pony, you have nothing. We just need to find my soldier and we'll be on your way......... Or at least try to be.” Tango exclaims while pointing his revolver at the purple pony.

The horn on the purple one begins to glow a bright purple aurora. Instantaneously after this the soldier’s weapons mysteriously left their hands The weapons had the same bright purple aura around them as well.

After standing there looking confused for a few minutes Tango decided to say something.

“What the fuck just happened?” Tango said in a heavy tone.

The purple pony answered, “I took your weapons from you. Violence is not the answer in this situation.”

After reading his purple opponents face for a few seconds he realized there was a horn on her forehead.

“You're a unicorn!!!” Tango yelled.

"I'm done,” Vitality said as he throws his hands up while he walked to a tree in the middle of the field and sat down underneath it.

"Tango call me over when your done talking to your magical creatures,” Vitality yelled back at Tango.

"Fuck you Vitality," Tango yelled once more.

"Stop with that terrible profanity please!" Another unicorn commanded.

She wasn't like the other one. She had a certain style or fashion like she wanted to actually impress or implement her style. Her "hair" was a purple curled. Tango notices all of this in his mind while keeping his cool.

“You things are civilized aren't you?” Tango asked with a sudden realization, "Look, we don't need to get along with each other but if you could help us find somebody that would be helpful," Tango said in a thoughtful manner.

“Oh, where looking for some pony too!” Pinkie yelled with excitement.

“We didn't quite catch your name,” Twilight said cutting out Pinkies excitement.

“Sit down and I'll tell you the information you need to know,” Tango said.

“As they sit down on the green grass tango starts doing roll call. I am commander .... Er....... Tango.  The big guy right next to me is Sargent Boom," Boom looked at them questionably through his goggles, "And the last is Vitality, him and his friend that's missing are contractors. “

“So you guys are military?” Twilight asks in surprised manner.

“Yes, we are military,” Tango replies.

“Then why don't you act it?” Twilight asks.

“Well how do you think I should act when my whole Brigade died and i'm lost in god knows where? Do you?” Tango responds allowing his anger to be shown.

We all sat silently for a couple of minutes.

“What's a brigade?” Pinkie asks.

“UGH!!!” Tango shouts.

“Right, I suppose I must take this,” Vitality says as he stands up and begins walking toward the group.

“A brigade is a group of soldiers usually totaling 1,500-4,000 soldiers.” Tango here is the commander, well the ex, Commander of 31st brigade,” Vitality tells the ponies.

“Pretty much, what Vitality’s trying to say is, shit hit the fan,” Boom says trying to simplify the situation.

“Why do you use so many curses?” Rarity asked.

“Because pony, we feel like it damn it you haven't lived through what we have. After you go through what we have then you can speak like we do,” Vitality says angered with her question.

"Look, while I understand your brains are under a huge amount of stress but we will not help you until you stop with the cursing," Twilight says.

“Fine then, we will stop with our cursing,” Tango replies, while secretly wishing he didn’t have to Tango thinks to himself."I believe that we need a call off or a telling of who you are."

"You mean introductions?" Twilight asked

*Silence*

Twilight uses her hoof to point to herself, "I am Twilight Sparkle, protege of the princess."

"Twilight may I ask, was I supposed to care about the last part?" Tango asks with a certain smart ass tone in his voice.

Twilight continues on her introductions and points to a certain cyan pony, “Her name is Rainbow Dash the fastest flying in Equestria. Twilight said, losing all caring at the end of that.

"Twilight may I ask, was I supposed to care about the last part?" Tango asks with a certain smart ass tone in his voice.

“Their names are Pinkie Pie, Rarity, AppleJack and FlutterShy,” Twilight said pointing to them all having lost all interest in giving a short bio for them.

“Ok, so that's their real names...... Right?” Tango asked.

“Indeed,” She says with a smile.

“We have come out here into the forest to find certain magical signatures. We think that your sudden timing arrival coincided with strange magical readings from my teacher,” Twilight explained

“I would love to say that, that wasn't timing,” Tango replies pridefully.

“Then what was it?” Rarity asks.

“It was fate, combined with luck and skill,” Tang says confidently.

“Well we need to find fail and were not gonna find him just sitting around. We need to start looking,” Vitality said.

“And where do you think we're gonna find him?” Tango responds, being his usual smart ass.

“On the planet, duh; In all seriousness though he will be in the forest, since we woke up there,” Vitality says, losing his joking sense.

“The forest is dangerous at night,” Twilight says.

“So are we,” Tango responds, activating his night vision goggles.

“What are those?” Twilight asks suddenly enthralled at the green goggles.

“They are night vision goggles, they allow us to see in the night,” Tango responds with a hint of  pride in his technology.

“Well you might be able to see in the forest but without us you will get lost,” Twilight responds forcing tango to accept defeat.

"Fine," Tango quietly mumbles.

“If we go tomorrow we want our guns back,” Vitality demands.

“Absolutely not.” Twilight said while thrusting her hoof into the dirt.

“Why is that? Are you scared that we would shoot you, or shoot a violent animal that might want to kill you?” Tango says, allowing his brain to go ape on hers.

“Fine take your weapons.” Twilight uses her magic to move the guns back to them. I'm taking the power in them though.

"Fine," Tango says, and instructs his men to throw their magazines and rounds on the ground.

“Alright sugar cubes I understand that y'all wanna have to yibberyam but we need a good nights rest, ya hear.” Applejack mumbled, falling asleep.

As the mane six and the remnants of SaltFire prepare for sleep they are unaware of the difficulties of another pony and a certain human on the other side of the Everfree Forest.