Proxy Paradox

“And that's how I entered the town,” Fail said to chrysalis.

“Ah, so you're a soldier of fortune?” Chrysalis asked with great interest.

“More of a tool for the military,” Fail said while watching the blood spill from the open hole in his leg onto the cells floor.

“Are you ok?” She asked, continuing her questions.

“Yes,” he said calmly.

“So you're wanted..... For what?” Fail asked with a confused tone in his voice, “How could such a creature be so disliked?"

“My people feed off of love and emotions. We tried to invade this empire but those ponies won the battle. They threw me in that forest where I injured my legs. There was nobody there that I could feed off of, until you came of course.Which reminds me, I’ve been meaning to ask you, what are you feeling?” She questions while her glowing green eyes looked around trying to not to fall on Fail’s metal mask,"Usually I could taste the love or the jealousy but yours........ Has no taste."

“Soldiers don't feel. When I do it's either a wave of rage or a second of remorse,” Fail said while looking at the creature with an almost lifeless stare.

“Let's get off this subject,” chrysalis commanded.

“Indeed,” fail agreed.

“How did you get here anyway?” Chrysalis asked

“I will tell you what happened when I got here, but not how I got here,” Fail said

“Why,” chrysalis asked?

“Some things are better off in the dark,” Fail replied with a happier tone.

“Both ways I will still listen to your tale,” Chrysalis said with the intent of figuring  out where this creature hails from.

“I remember waking up in a mound of twigs and sticks in that forest. The forest was thick and there was no sign of a trail. It was silent in that forest for the longest time. I then stood up and started moving."

“I could only hypothesize that the rest of my team was dead. I looked around and couldn't find their bodies. Even though I lost my only form of friend I was happy. I was free and was my own man but I soon realized my whole life was built around the military. I don't have orders or no reason to keep going. All that I could do now is wander around the place that I woke up in.”

“So I started to walk deeper into the dark dense forest. Then I started to realized there was branches broken and torn from the trees. It could have been my team that could have fallen and broke the trees, but from the size of the broken branches they would have been dead anyways. I hurried to where they might have fallen. I ran to a clearing in the middle of the forest in hopes to find them but they weren't there.

"A trail mark of broken twigs and branches were to my left but this trail was seemingly larger than one that could have been caused by the squad. It was like something hit and skidded on the earth.”

“I followed the skid mark till it ended by a leaning tree, but my team wasn’t under it. What was under the tree was a creature about the size of Boom, looked like an insect, but shaped like a horse. “

“I didn't know what to think so I instinctively started walking towards it to see it was dead.”

“As I began to draw nearer I could notice a horn on its head, bent and curved. It's legs were filled with holes that appeared that they were naturally placed. “

“I was about nine feet from it now. It's ........... hair,  was like light blue seaweed. The skin appeared dense with a black shine to it.”

“I almost felt.......... sorry. I prepared my bayonet. I decided to make sure the kill was clean. I placed my right boot on the torso and aimed the blade at where I thought the heart would have been. I then slowly leaned back for a fatal blow.”

“No!” screamed a female voice.

“I looked down and your bright glowing eyes stared at me for pity,” Fail explained to Chrysalis.

“So you didn't kill me because you pitied me?” She asked.

“No, I didn't kill you because, I would be alone again,” Fail continued, “All of my fellow soldiers died except for three, and now they're gone. I've been involved in many wars and my only friend, Vitality, is now dead.”

Fail's head fell silent as well as all the sounds of the cell, “ I guess I helped you in hopes you would keep me company. I understand after this you don't want to see me again.”

“Why would I not want to see you again?” She asked with confusion.

“You saved me, and you are my only ........... friend,” She realized, “Huh, don't recall having any friends until now,” She realized what she  said, and hid her face in an attempt hide her embarrassment.

“Can you tell the rest of the story?” She ask to change the subject.

“If you want me to,” Fail said.

“So I stood there looking at you. I waited for you to say something but you were paralyzed it seemed."

“Sorry, I thought you were hostile.” Fail said to Chrysalis.

“Wait, you can talk?” She asked confused.

“Yea, I talk and it seems you talk as well,” Fail said.

“Well I'll make camp here, if that's ok with you,” Fail said while taking a seat on the ground.

“Who and what are you?” Chrysalis asked.

“Well I'm a soldier, you can call me Fail. What are you?” Fail says to Chrysalis.

“I'm Queen Chrysalis, Queen of the Changelings,” she said proudly.

“Well nice to meet you. I think my first objective is to get you in cover,” Fail said.

“Why are you acting so nice?” She questioned staring at me strangely .

“Why not?” Fail replied.

"Ow!" Chrysalis yelled as Fail picked her up.

"What's wrong?" Fail asked while keeping her on his shoulder.

"My leg, it was injured in the fall,' Chrysalis said.

Fail then carried her to a large tree with shade underneath it.

“It doesn't look like it's gonna rain so we don't need shelter. So all we need to is to fix you up,” Fail said while letting her down to the ground.

Fail looked in the backpack that he carried with him. It contained some minor medical supplies and a light amount of ammunition. Fail rummaged around in his backpack until he found his rubbing alcohol. Fail pulled out his rubbing alcohol along with bandages and medical tape.

“Alright this is going to sting, but it's to clean out your wound,” Fail said to Chrysalis as he spun the top off of the rubbing alcohol.

“Alright Chrysalis where is the wound?” Fail asked while holding the bottle.

“Right here,” She showed him a deep cut across her left back leg.

“Could you get in a better position than laying?” Fail asked professionally.

“What do you mean a better position?” Chrysalis asked.

“I mean a better position as in like a position where I can see that wound better,” Fail said.

Chrysalis blushes as she rolls over and has her rear in the air. She then repionts to her near underside.

“Well the only way I could see down there, well, is to go down there myself,” Fail said while looking at her behind.

Chrysalis blushes even redder but she allows him to continue because she understands the need for her wound to be healed so she’ll be fine.

Fail gets down to chrysalis with his head near her crotch.

Fail shifts around to grab his bottle, while continuing to make chrysalis blush even worse.

After all of this he finally pours some of the alcohol on the wound.

The alcohol bubbled as Chrysalis let out some gasps.

“Are you ok?” Fail asked.

“Yea,” She said still blushing uncontrollably

“Look, I'm gonna start on that fire I spoke of, then I'll bandage your leg. Then I will go to sleep,” Fail busted out ruining the moment.

“So after doing that I went to sleep,” Fail exclaimed to Chrysalis,“I never had such a peaceful sleep,"

Chrysalis smirks at this remark.

At that she remembered her thoughts for that night.

Wait, why am I letting this, she turns and looks at Fail, thing do such things to me? I am,Chrysalis Queen of the Changelings, and he is nothing just an animal on this planet! Chrysalis

She rises from her sleep and almost starts to trot towards Fail.

Wait, why did he do these things for me? Everypony in the country knows who I am yet he continues to be kind and caring. Chrysalis thought to herself while she continued to stare at Fail.

She continues to trot toward him but, with different thoughts in her brain.

She trots close enough to notice that he sleeps, different than the other ponies she had observed. He slept with a certain, feeling around him. Even though he was asleep,not to her but to others she supposed that he was very intimidating.Even though the only ponies she has observed sleeping were her own changelings, but they are nearly like regular ponies.

He was sleeping against a tree with his fore-hoofs around this metallic spear thingy. Fail held it like it was his child or was the most important item in his life.

Fail realizes that he is being watched, and instinct takes over, Fail grabs his gun and points it in Chrysalis’s face. He quickly realized it was her and snapped his gun to his chest.

“Sorry,” Fail mumbled as he lowered his head in shame.

“What are you?!” She yelled as he slumped down even more.

“I don't know, a human?” He said quietly.

“Where are your other human cohorts?” Chrysalis questioned,” Where are their armies at?”

“K.I.A.” Fail said

“What does this K.I.A mean?” Chrysalis asked.

“Killed in action,” Fail said in a monotone.

“Oh,” She says, suddenly saddened by his lost.

“Just like all the others,” Fail mumbles under his breath.

“It doesn't matter now,” Fail said in his normal raspy voice.

“I'm sorry,” Crysalis says with a form of sympathy, “What type of soldier are you?

“I'm the type they send in when they need shit killed, quoting Tango,” Fail says while he is getting up to stretch.

“You killed?, Killed what?” Crysalis asks with disgust.

“Other soldiers that attack my battalion,” He continued while looking around, “They gave quite a fight, but I am what they would call a game changer.”

“Look, you need to go to sleep. That leg isn't gonna heal itself. It's amazing that you can still stand.”Fail said while watching Chrysalis trot to her spot under the tree and lays down.

Her mind is filled with questions for this Fail creature.

He is one of the kindest ponies to me, She says to herself, but he says he murdered other things like him. Furthermore he has blood everywhere on him and is armed with his spear like weapon. His face is metallic and motionless.

She snapped out of her thoughts of the past when the door to the cell block opened.

Two guard ponies wearing the Imperial Pony armor trotted the length of the corridor to arrive at Fail and Chrysalis's cell.

“We just came down to check on you two, holy Celestia!” The Sharpened Sword exclaims when he notices his much blood Fail has lost.

“We need to take you to the medical hall!” The other guard exclaims.

Fail realizes that this problem of blood loss can be his ticket out of this cell. He allows his body to drop to the floor of the cell, making it appear like he has died.

The guard ponies come rushing to his side.

“Go get a stretcher so we can carry him out of here,” Sharpened Sword said to his guard mate.

That guard gallops past Chrysalis and out the door.

“Fail!” Chrysalis screamed in worry. She tried to get to him but she had forgotten the chains on her braces.

The remaining guard noticed this and took step back from Fail.

“Stay back you monster, It’s bad enough I have to be in this cell with you,” Sharpened Sword said.

Not giving the guard any of her attention, Chrysalis continues to stare at Fail while laying on the cell floor.

Sharpened walked back to fail and starts to fidget around with the his key right trying to find the key for Fail’s locks. until it finally unlocks.

The other guard came back with the stretcher and set it up.

“We have to hurry it looks like he's not breathing,” Sharpened said.

After the guard finished with the last word Fail took his good leg and knocked the guard off his hoofs. The guard holding the stretcher tried to shove it at Fail but he dodged to the right side of the cell

As Fail stood up he grabbed the stretcher with his right hand and the pony guard’s head on the left. He threw the stretcher against the wall breaking it into many pieces. He then took the guards head and  slammed the it into the stone wall. Fail takes the broken stretcher and bent it into a makeshift club.He turns to pony that he tripped. With all his rage boiling, he started to violently whack him with this club.

"Don't fucking talk to her like that you cranberry shit" Fail yelled as the pony started bleeding.

“STOP!” Came from chrysalis as she looks at fail in shock.

Fail froze on the spot. He took the keys that the bloodied up pony dropped. Slowly he staggers to her and lays them in front of her.

He then walked over to the opposite wall which has a huge crack from the guards head and sat down.

“Well what are ya waiting on are you gonna sit here all day or what?” Fail asks.

“I'm just thinking,” Chrysalis said.

After a pause of a couple of minutes Chrysalis finally asked, “Where you gonna kill them?”

“They were rude to you and shackled us up. Killing them would be protocol,” Fail answered trying to calm her down.

“Fail........ Don't kill anypony......... Please?” Chrysalis asks still shocked.

“I'm sorry if I scared you chrysalis,” Fail said.

“Ok,” Chrysalis said gravely.

“We should go find my team,” Fail said as he open the cell door.

-1 Day earlier-

That night the ponies stole SaltFire’s ammo, but didn’t take Tango's revolver ammo because the ponies did not know that he had it. SaltFire woke up at the asscrack of dawn to wait for our new associates. They came about three hours later.

Boom was actually quiet rather than cracking sexually disturbing jokes like he usually did. Vitality seemed as if he set his brain on fucking it and was laying around in a tree. Tango was hell bent on planning what we are going to do when we finally got Fail.

As the ponies trotted up, Tango and Boom stood up to greet them. The Applejack  was towing a small cart filled with big, juicy, apples. As Tango saw that he looked over at Boom. Boom was already running toward the pony while trying to get his balaclava down.

She noticed the giant man running straight for her and she freaked the fuck out. She quickly tried to get the strap for the cart off of her back but Boom was already picking her up and hugging her. He also picked up the cart with her and spilt many apples on the ground.

“Thank the gods! Thank you for the feast that I'm about to inhale! Thank you strange pony!” Boom yelled.

“Boom, put her down and pick up the damn apples,” Tango said waving the clear for the rest of the ponies. Boom sets her down as he grabs the waggon and runs it over with joy.

Tango and his men happily dug their teeth into a loads of apples.

“Looks like you guys are enjoying yourselves,” Twilight says with a smug look.

“Yea!” Vitality said while finishing his first apple, “You try eating M.R.Es for three months and you will understand.”

“Also just in case you didn't figure it out, which I know you didn't, M.R.Es are Ready to Eat Meals,” Tango said while shoving an apple down his throat.

So after a nice breakfast SaltFire and the mane six began the hunt to find Fail and the mystical crap that Twilight spoke about. The first few miles were very uneventful except for the forest slowly darkening as the group went deeper in the forest. After another few miles Tango noticed a surprise on the ground.

“Why the fuck are there fucking branches on the fucking ground?” Tango exclaimed in anger  while yelling at the heavens.

“Maybe the branches fell on their own,” Applejack said looking at the falling rubble.

“Now look,” Tango says pursing his lips,  “Look at this branch. This branch is too thick for them to just to fall off. My hypotheses is something fell ....... and it fell hard!” Tango ending his sentence with a yell.

The ponies continued to look confused, and looked at Tango for a better answer.

“That means we follow the sticks,” Vitality said with the groan

“They are branches!” Tango yelled once more.

“Damn it, ok,” Vitality says rubbing his ears.

“Well we're not going anywhere until you....... Things promise to stop using such foul language. “Twilight say with a serious strict tone.

“You take our ammo, you take us to this forest, and now you're telling us to stop the the only thing we hold dear. Fine.” Tango says with a sigh.

SaltFire and the mane six continued on to walk into the forest.

“So, what exactly are we looking for,” Tango asked.

“The creature we are looking for is a Changeling. A creature that is able to take the form of any pony and sound like that pony, walk like that pony, and plain be that pony,” Twilight explained, “This specific changeling is the Changeling Princess, Chrysalis, she looks like Celestia,but is black,and has holes in many parts of her body. She has bee wings and a bent horn.”

“So, it is one of you but it is able to become others of your society?” Tango asked.

“Essentially, yes but these ponies have been outcast because they can easily cause problems because of their abilities,” Twilight said.

“I don’t blame ya, I wouldn’t want some cock sucker to become me,” Tango said.

“You wouldn’t want someone who sucks on chickens to be you?” Fluttershy asked innocently.

“No, no cock sucker is slang,” Tango responded.

“Slang for what?” Twilight asked.

“For my D-,” Boom said before he was cut off by Tango yelling,

“SHUT UP BOOM!” Tango yelled at Boom.

About the time of the end of the conversation we arrived at  a clearing,  and in that clearing we saw that creature that had been. It was laying on the ground against a tree.

Saltfire began to run at it in hopes to bum rush it. Tango looked behind him to see the ponies, well most of them, following suit. One of them, Applejack, got out ahead of us.

Right as she gets to the clearing. Boom! Like a freight train Fail form tackled her straight to the ground. Her body absorbed the blow but she was slightly dazed from the blow. Fail then picked her up and put her on his back. Fail drew his desert eagle and pointed it to her head.

“Don't move!” Fail yelled at Saltfire and the mane six.

Tango, already pissed and frustrated by this whole ordeal pulls out his Colt .44 in one swift motion and aims at Fail and just fires. The rest of his team and the ponies are frozen in amazement at this brutal act.

Fail takes the shot but falls to the ground because the shot hit his leg.

Fail tried to get up but is greeted by the same revolver that shot him a second ago.

“Don't move or I'll blow your face off,” Tango yelled at him.

Fail pulled his right legs and had him on the ground before he could squeeze the trigger.

He got on top of Tango and started to punching him in the stomach. Vitality pried Fail off of Tango as Boom pulled Tango away from Fail.

“Is this how you fucking treat your team?” Vitality yelled at me with anger and frustration on what you can see on his face because he pulled down his face veil.

“He tried to kill the orange one,” I yelled even louder.

“You're planning to kill her. I heard you mother..........” Fail said but was stopped by a hoof which kicked him straight on the back of the head.

“I think that will fix that darn problem," Applejack said as she walked back to her friends.

“You just got knocked the fuck OUT!” Boom yelled, flailing his arms.

“I thought I told you I got it! Tango said, yelling in Applejack’s face.

“We'll y'all was having such a hard time,” Applejack said to Tango.

“We need to send him to a doctor,” Fluttershy said in a soft, quiet tone.

“He'll be fine,” Vitality said behind everyone.

‘Chrysalis is waking up and you're sitting here trying to kill Fail? Come on girls, we need to get her!” Twilight commands as the ponies run toward the slanted tree.

“Why do you want to kill her?” Fail mumbles in a angry dark volume.

“He's still fucking conscious?” Boom said in amazement.

“We're not, she's a convict just like you,” Twilight said to Fail while trotting to the tree with Chrysalis under it.

In minutes they had Chrysalis tied up. Boom took both the tied up Chrysalis and Fail and placed them on his back and carried both of them back to the camp. Both groups didn't say anything on their trip back. When they returned to the camp Pinkie Pie said she wanted to throw a party or something for the team. Then it all blacked out. It ended up that the drinks were drugged and the team where all in different cells when they woke up.

Tango woke up unchained in his cell but still in a cell.

“Hey, guard,” Tango yelled at a passing guard.

“Yes, you ape prisoner?” The guard responded angrily.

“I want to talk to your leader,” Tango said.

“Now, why would you want to do that?” The guard said.

“Her and I are both officers in the military. Instead of just throwing someone in jail the officers must discuss the terms of surrender for the men of the group surrendering. Otherwise the victorious group is breaking an immortal law and will be punished,” Tango said.

“What is this punishment?” The guard asked.

“The punishment is death,” Tango said.

This convinced the guard to let Tango out of his cell but tied his hands up so he couldn’t use them. He was taken through the palace to the pony princess.

Hands tied up Tango walked up the throne to speak to the so called "princess". To Tango she looked more like an overgrown unicorn with wings. He starts to question if he is having this in a  dream.

“Why are you here?” She asks with a calm collective voice.

“Well its not like I planned to be here. We just ended up getting spit out here.” He exclaims.

“So you don't have a army?” She asked surprised.

"I have a squad of four in total including myself. At least now since the rest died in the battle.”

“WAIT, A BATTLE!?!” she exclaimed.

Tango then proceeded to tell her what happened to his team in the battle and what happened before they arrived here. Celestia listened attentively to this man's story. The story was very brutal but she managed to listen to it all. The story gave her a very astonishing look on her face.

“You creatures are from another world, do you know what this means?”

“No, I'm not a doctor, nor a physicist,” Tango replied.

“There is a new type of  magic which we can grasp. A new, more powerful magic than even I have is out here,” Celestia says excitedly.

“Untie him!” She commands to the guards.

As they untie him they a heard two knocks coming from the enormous throne room doors. Two other guards trotted to open the door. As the guards get close to opening the door it exploded open and knocked them down and out. Out of the smoke came the other members of SaltFire along with Chrysalis. Fail was walking ahead of the group as the others stood back with the changeling queen.

Ten guards leave their post to stop Fail from going anywhere near Celestia. He cracked the stretcher in half on his leg to make it a thicker club. They ran at him with their spears prepared to go through Fail,but it was no match for the man. Fail dodged and smashed his way through the ten guards in his quest to get to Celestia.

Chrysalis called out to Fail telling him that “She’s ready," but Fail was unable to hear anything.

After slamming his boot against the last guard’s head, Fail went back to walking up the throne’s staircase.

“What the fuck are you doing Fail?” Tango yelled.

Fail payed him no attention and just kicked him off the stairs. He then prepared to strike Celestia.

As Fail made his move Celestia’s horn glowed as Fail was sent flying across the room, slamming through the wall and falling seven feet into the dining room table.

“Fail!” Chrysalis cried.

Celestia looked at her with a confused look, but a look of anger.

“Chrysalis, do you have him in your power?” She yelled glaring at her in anger.

“No, I've never seen him in this form of manner,” Chrysalis said.

“Then how did he break out?” Celestia asked.

“He's been a P.O.W before, now thinking about it, I should have expected this,” Tango explains, “You should be grateful, if he actually had the order to kill you would be in the dirt.”

Celestia scoffs in a angry, yet uncomfortable tone.

“WE NEED HELP!” Fluttershy said while running in and sobbing.