My Little Raptor

I stood there, on top of one of the Library's branches, watching Ponyville. Today was rather peaceful, the sun was shining, the birds were singing, and no one trying to attack Ponyville. A content sigh escaped my mouth, but then I jumped onto Twilight's balcony. I then spotted Spike and Twilight

Seeing they were both asleep, I then saw Z sleeping in the corner of the room. I nudged her once, and she grumbled, but was still asleep. I nudged her again, but she was still asleep. I went up to ear, and smiled.

"Hey, Z, wake up!" I whispered, making her rub her eyes, then look at me.

"What?" Z asked, irritated.

"I'm going to go Jackass 3 here, you want to watch?" I asked, looking at her. She nodded at me, then I walked over to Twilight. I went up to her ear, and did my back up call scaring Twilight.

"WOAH!" Twilight screamed, hitting my face with a pillow. It went through my snout, and feathers popped out.

"Chimmy Changa! These pillows are filled baby birds!" I said, looking into the pillow, just to see feathers. I am the ultimate troller. "Hi, I'm Dartagnen Agundez, and welcome to Jackass!" I said, laughing.

I saw Z try to hold it in, but then she started to laugh too.

"Oh my God, your face, priceless!" I said, panting. I then heard a roar, that sounded like Godzilla, and looked outside to see Terry. Kid must've killed something.

I then looked back a Twilight, who was catching her breath. "So Twi, you wanted to ask me some questions?" I said innocently, making her glare at me, but go get supplies. I swear to God, if she brings a needle out to test my blood, I'm going to use Spike as a flamethrower.

I then noticed Z curled around Spike, who cuddled up to her. Damn, he's lucky she has a mother instinct. Twilight came back with a scroll, and a feather, with ink. Wait, they have video games, computers, and guns, yet, they still use candles for light? You know what? Fuck this. Fuck that. Fuck everything! I suddenly tripped over Spike tail, and hit the ground, and let me tell you how I felt...

Ow...owowowowowowowowowowowowow! That fuckin' hurts! Shit, I think I'm bleeding. I touched my snout. No, I'm not bleeding, but still, that sucked ass.

She looked at me with concern. Like I'm the weirdest thing she's seen this morning? I looked at myself. Oh, yeah...I am the weirdest thing she's seen all morning.

"So, where are you from?" Twilight asked.

"America!" FUCK YEAH! A cup of Joe? How about a nice cup of freedom?

She scribbled it down. "Who or what controls the sun and moon in 'America'?" She asked, looking at me with a srs face.

She either must be a dumb bitch, or the ultimate troller. "No one controls the Sun and Moon from where I come from. Gravity does that." I said, nodding with my answer.

"Impossible! No one controls the sun or moon? You must be crazy!" Twilight said in disbelief.

I raised a brow, and gave her the 'Try me' face. "No, Gravity controls it where I come from. It comes down to science, not magic."

"Oh yeah, then who created gravity?" Twilight challenged, looking smug.

"The Universe." I replied instantly, looking at my clawed hand, checking if there was any blood on them.

"Who created the Universe then?" Twilight asked, giving me another smug look.

"God created the Big Bang, which created the Universe and science, and magic." I replied. Look, I know I'm into science, but how else do you explain the Big Bang? Sure, you could say I could either believe in God, or science, but not both, then fuck you. It's my belief that God created the Big Bang, which created the Universe. Now shut your faces about what's real and what's not, because I don't give a damn.

"Who created God then?" Twilight asked, thinking she won.

"Science. Atoms, elements, chemical reactions, pick whatever you want." I replied. Yeah, I know how God was created. You may not agree, but I choose that answer because it makes sense.

Seeing I won, she sighed and gave up on the topic. "So, who is your leader and or leaders?" She asked, scribbling down what we argued.

"The President of the United States of America. His name is Obama, and I think he's pretty awesome. Plus, he's nice, like this place." I answered, seeing her scribble it down.

"When were you born?"

"I'm not going to answer that, mostly because we're probably not in the same time. For all I know, this could be the year of the fuckin' apocalypse, and I still wouldn't know." I answered, making her write down a question mark for an answer.

"Alright, last question, what is your favorite type of species that originally lives in Equestria?"

"Ponies are nice, I hate Griffons, but they look cool, Spike is a dragon, and I haven't met any others except for one, and I kicked his scaled ass all the way to Pluto and back. So, I'd say Dragons." I replied, thinking about it. She scribbled it down, and put the paper up to Spike, poking him.

I saw one of his eyes open, then look at the paper. He grumbled, then breathed green fire on it. Why in the Bloody Hell did he do that for? I saw it turn into green ashes, then go out the open window, yet I didn't feel a breeze. Spike then closed his eye and went back to sleep, Z still curled around him.

"I've got to go do something." Twilight said, disappearing in a flash of purple.

Seeing as I had nothing to do, I walked outside. I got a few strange looks from ponies, but no one actually bothered me. I wasn't looking when I spotted a female griffon, but then I bumped into something hard and scaly. I looked up to see Cutter, as he looked down to see me.

He was talking to a wall eyed Pegasus, with grey fur and blonde mane. Once she said goodbye, Cutter looked at me. "Hi Dart. Anything new with you, lad?" He asked me, making me chuckle.

So, I told him about the events that happened this morning, and soon we got over a argument about who would be soon be in Jackass 4.

"I told you, I'm most likely. Not only am I smart, same as you though, but I come up with the best pranks." I said, then Cutter smiled, that made me feel like something bad was about to happen.

"I'm a mother fuckin' T-Rex. You're argument is invalid." Cutter said, making me stare at him.

"Son of a bitch!" I said, then I noticed Terry was walking...or limping towards us.

"DART! CUTTER!" Terry yelled. I looked at him, slightly confused about why he was limping.

"Hey Te-" I started, but then I noticed how wounded he was.

"Terry, what happened to ya' lad?" Cutter asked.

"I ran into a Dragon when I was coming this way. He's dead now. But now I only have one good eye and my foot is burned to a crisp." He replied. No, it couldn't be...

"What did this Dragon look like?" I asked, slightly worried.

"Big, two legged, tail was bent at the end." He replied. My eyes widened.

"That's the Dragon I saved Ponyville from when I first arrived." I said, looking at him.

"Well....he won't be bothering us anymore." Terry said with a smile.

"That foot doesn't look good lad. Maybe ya' should have Twilight see it." Cutter suggested.

"Good idea Cutter. Come on, we'll see her together." Terry said as he limped towards the Library. I stood at the side of him making sure he didn't fall or trip. When we arrived and I knocked on the door, Spike opened it.

"Hey Spike, is Twilight here?" Terry asked.

"No. Why?" He asked in replying. Terry then showed him his wounds and Spike's eyes widened as he gasped.

"Wait here. Twilight taught me what do to when you get burned really bad." Spike said as he ran back into the Library. He came back out with medicine for burns. Shit, that was like, what? Three seconds.

"Good Idea lad." Cutter said.

"Now this might sting a little bit." Spike said as he was about to apply the medicine. When he did, Terry released a growl, but I only looked at Terry's wounded eye. Of course, it'd still work, but it would look blurry from what I'm guessing.

"Thank you Spike." Terry said with a smile. Then all of a sudden, a purple flash of light appeared and then Twilight was in front of us.

"Oh good. You three are already here." Twilight said.

"Twilight, why did you leave?" I asked, curious to know why she left a while ago.

"I know how the three of you appeared here in Equestria." She replied. My eyes widened.

"REALLY?! HOW?!" We asked at the same time.

"A few weeks ago, I found a spell that would allow me to see another world and it's life in it's time span. The first one I did was Dart and Cutter. I was amazed at their race called "Humans". Then I looked into Terry's time. It looked like something a scientist would enjoy to study. Little did I know that it had a side effect. It created a magical rift that appeared in many forms in your times on Earth." She replied. Should've known she was behind it.

"So....that light brought the Dinosaurs and me around the world here." Terry said in astonishment.

"That rainbow ball that appeared above the Velociraptor skeleton was created by you?" I asked, mad but happy and the same time..

"Yes. Now if somehow I could create an opposite version of the spell, it should send the three of you along with any others home." She replied. Cutter, Terry and I let out a roar.

"Could you maybe tone it down a little?" Twilight asked.

"Sorry." We replied in unison. But, for some reason, I didn't want to go home.