My Little Raptor

"So then I said, "There's something on your face." I then punched him. "It was pain!" My friend was lying on the floor, twitching, and we were laughing so hard!" I said, Ty laughing with me as we exchanged stories.

Then, a white flash of light appeared around the corner, and groans were heard. Son of a bitch, now I have to check that out!

"Stay here!" I said quickly.

"It's not like I'm going anywhere." Ty said, his voice laced with sarcasm.

"Fuck you too, buddy." I said back, rounding the corner, only to see the two knuckleheads I never thought I would meet again. "Holy shit!"

Two Dilophosaurus stood there, one rubbing his head, the other looking at the one holding his head.

"Holy shit, Vesa, we're Dinosaurs!" One said, that voice very familiar.

"I fucking know that, asshole! Karlos, shut the fuck up, I have a headache, and you're giving me more of one." Vesa said, rubbing his crest. "Okay, I'm either a Dilophosaurus or Allosaurus. I'm hoping it's the second one."

"Nope, you're both Dilophosaurs." I said, shaking my head. Suddenly, Karlos tackled me, tears coming comically from his eyes.

"Dart, is that you? You look terrible. Did you get a new haircut?" Karlos joked, me pushing him off.

"Thanks for noticing dipshit. Noah's here too. So is Fade." I said, rolling my eyes, and pushing him off. Karlos looked down at his hands, examining them.

"Well at least I have a opposable thumbs." He said, smiling. Vesa stood next to him, nodding. I knocked both of their heads together, like the three stooges, and growled.

"Shud up! Bot' of ya!" I said, imitating Moe's voice. Both of the knuckleheads rubbed their heads, pouting silently.

"Why'd ya do dat?" Karlos asked in Curly's voice.

"I think he's mad at Santa Claws. Get it, claws!" Vesa said in Larry's voice.

"What did I tell you 'bout makin' puns?" I asked, bonking his head.

"Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk." Karlos said, but I bonked his snout, making him growl.

Suddenly, I heard a roar, and looked around, sniffing the air. Karlos and Vesa looked around too. "Alright, you two knuckleheads, follow me." I said in my normal voice.

I ran towards the roar, Vesa and Karlos following.

"Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop." Karlos said, still in Curly's voice, but I slapped him with my tail.

"Huh, uh uh uh, Dumbass." I said in Butthead's voice.

I looked right in front of me, only to yelp when I saw a large T-Rex glaring at Twilight. I roared, gaining his attention. I saw a large scar on his face, most likely from another T-Rex. "Wow, I'm surprised about how the amount of fat you are."

"What?" He asked, looking at me. He was actually surprised?

"Fat, and deaf? Wow, God must've not liked you." I said, tsk tsking.

"You little salamander! I'll crush you!" He said, fury in his eyes. He ran towards me, but I moved out of the way. Karlos and Vesa were already up a pillar, cheering me on. "You...disappeared?" The giant fucking idiot stated, looking around for me.

"Fat, deaf, and blind? Damn, you must be a fucking idiot too." He roared towards my voice, and charged, hitting nothing but a pillar. "Called it!" I said, on top of a statue of Celestia, picking at the loose stones.

"Listen you little reptile! I will slowly devour you, but first, I have business to take care of here." He said, walking right up to Twilight. "Now tell me you little piece of shit! Where is your leader?"

I was about to go in there and kick his ass myself when three Novaraptors went in front of me. They growled...but they were females. Where were the males? I then noticed Terry burst into the room, and start talking with the dick sucker.

Cutter slowly walked up behind the scar faced dick, which made me smile, as they both started to attack the large male. The three females started to growl, lust in their eyes.

"Listen, I already have three mates. Maybe we could work something out?" I said, gulping. "Cutter, Help!" I said, running away from the females.

Suddenly, Karlos spit something out, hitting one directly in the eye, making her screech in pain. Vesa jumped down, tackling the female to the ground, then bit her neck. He pushed it down, until her neck snapped, killing her.

"Hell yeah! We still make a pretty good team!" Karlos said, high-clawing Vesa.

"Assholes, what about me?" I asked, running past them, their eyes following me. Suddenly, I stopped at a wall, the female Novaraptor growling, but it sounded like a clicking noise.

One opened her mouth slightly, showing her teeth, as she pounced. But then, Cutter bit into her, taking her out of mid pounce, and shook his head violently, crushing all the bones in her body.

He then dropped her body, and started to eat it. The other Novaraptor screeched, then ran towards Cutter, who ignored her.

She then pounced, clawing and biting into Cutter's side, who roared in pain. I slowly started to back away, Karlos and Vesa doing the same.

Then, the female flipped over to Cutter's other side, biting and clawing into his side again. He then bit into her tail, and grabbed her body with his jaws, pulling her into his mouth.

He then bit her once, breaking her back, and killing her as she was limp. Cutter then threw the body towards a statue of Celestia, destroying the solid stone easily.

Cutter then roared into the air, a random banner falling down in front of him. HELL FUCKIN' YES! That was so damn awesome, just like Jurassic Park!

*CRACK*

Cutter looked over to Terry, then his expression changed to a saddened one. I followed his gaze to see Tina, Terry's mate, lying on the floor, motionless.

"Tina?" I asked, walking up to her. I noticed her eyes were faded, then I lowered my head for a silent respect. Noah came in the room, then noticed Tina lying on the floor.

"What happened to you guys?" Noah asked, standing next to me.

I simply looked at Tina, Noah tracing my gaze towards the T-Rex. He then lowered his head in a silent respect as well. Karlos and Vesa lowered their heads in respect as well, Cutter doing the same. I gave my bark like call, calling for Z, M, and F.

After I was done, F and M entered, Z sleeping on F's back. I raised a brow, but she only shrugged in response. I then looked down at Tina, noticing Terry weeping. Cutter was talking to him, but I didn't pay attention. I saw that Scarfaced dick on the floor, I then went up to his body, knowing he was dead.

"I hope you fucking burn in Hell, because God won't let you in his domain without viewing your history!" I yelled at his body, kicking it. I could feel the rage in my veins right now. I WANTED TO GIVE THAT FUCKER A PEICE OF MY MIND! "I'll make sure you get left for the vultures, because you deserve no pity from us."

I Kicked his body again, making it twitch, but I didn't care. "Damn you to Hell, mother fucking salamander!" I said, kicking his body some more. Someone put a claw on my shoulder, making me unfurl my lips, and growl at them. I looked to see Z, now awake, staring at me.

I could see my reflection in her eyes. My feathers on top of my head bristled, while my eyes were slits. I the lowered my lips, the rage leaving me. I growled at the body again, but, I walked away.

A day later, we had a funeral for Tina. Not many knew her, but those who did were there, paying their respects. Luckily, Ponies had invented guns two weeks ago, and brought them for a Twenty One gun salute.

"Ready arms!" A stallion said, making me stand at attention as I readied my gun Celestia gave me.

"Fire!" The stallion said, making us fire into the air.

After that, the priest asked if anyone wanted to say any words. I stepped up, scaring him, but, he let me up.

"I remember a poem once. My grandma died, and at her funeral, I repeated her favorite poem. Her grandfather was in a war, and when her father died, she said this poem at his funeral. I'd like to say it to honor Tina. She was a reptile, a fighter, and mother, a friend. But, she was also family. Anyway, here's the poem."

I cleared my throat, readying the poem.

"I have a rendezvous with Death
At some disputed barricade
When Spring comes back with rustling shade
And apple blossoms fill the air
I have a rendezvous with Death
When Spring brings back blue days and fair

It may be he shall take my hand
And lead me into his dark land
And close my eyes and quench my breath
It may be I shall pass him still.
I have a rendezvous with Death
On some scarred slope of battered hill
When Spring comes round again this year
And the first meadow-flowers appear.

God knows 'twere better to be deep
Pillowed in silk and scented down,
Where love throbs out in blissful sleep,
Pulse nigh to pulse, and breath to breath,
Where hushed awakenings are dear...
But I've a rendezvous with Death
At midnight in some flaming town,
When Spring trips north again this year,
And I to my pledged word am true,
I shall not fail that rendezvous."