The Itch

Saturday, February 2nd, 1003 A.B.

Almost a full day has passed since I have murdered Trixie...

I want to add something to that sentence, to make complete it, but the words don’t come. The remorse I feel can’t be written down; anything said would be inadequate to express the emotions roiling within me. I want to forget everything - what I have done, these feelings of pleasure, pain, and guilt - I want to wipe them from my memory, but they seem intent on haunting me to my grave.

It seems Trixie as well has come to haunt me from beyond her own grave. Even though I just put her in it, she has endeavored to ensure my peaceful life here in Ponyville will not last. I don’t blame her though, in fact, I almost welcome her. I deserve her retribution, whatever may some of it.

...I have been vague, and I apologize for that. I’m still somewhat in shock from yesterday, and what I read in the paper has done little to centralize my mind. Here, I will write down what I read in today’s Ponyville Gazette to make things clearer:

NIGHTTIME SCREAMS TERRIFY RESIDENTS

Last night, ponies were awoke to screams coming from Ponyville Park. The screams were determined to belong to two different mares, and a search party was quickly formed to find the source of the disturbance, but neither of the mares were able to be found. What the search party instead found was a shattered light-blue horn, half-hidden inside of a bush. Authorities at the moment are not sure what to make of the horn and how it got there, but a comment of one of the search party members certainly leaves a foreboding shadow over the entire matter:

“It was frightening, searching in the dark with only the light of your torch to guide you, all the while hearing these screams echo in the night. And I swear, what makes it even worse was that one mare sounded like she was screaming in pleasure, and the other like she was in pain…”

I don’t know how I could have missed her horn during my comb-over of the clearing, but that hardly matters now. Trixie may just have gotten her revenge, for I have no doubt “the authorities” will soon contact an investigator from another city, and when they arrive-

There’s somepony knocking at the door. Who could that be?

*****

Oh Faust, I nearly panicked the moment I opened the door! When I opened it, there was a guard waiting behind! She said the Mayor had requested my presence at Town Hall, but how could they possibly know it was me so soon? How could the horn have brought them to me so quickly? I removed any traces of my magic’s residue from the area and all within it: the same should go for the horn! Wait, maybe they don’t know it’s me yet, the guard didn't wait to escort me to Town Hall, which almost makes me hope that they don't suspect me of anything yet. Could it be they don’t know yet, or is it a trap?

What is there that I can do? If I run, they’ll have reason to suspect me, but if I go, I may be walking into a trap! Damn it all! What did I do to deserve all this?

Oh, right. Commit murder...

I suppose I have no choice but to go over there, but I’m going to pack a few things in my saddlebags in case I need to make a quick escape. Hopefully, I won't need to.

In the off chance of not having to run for my life as a fugitive, I'll finish this entry once I've returned from Town Hall.

*****

So, as one would surmise from the fact that I'm writing this now, my trip to Town Hall didn't result in me having to flee Ponyville for my life. Rather, in fact, I believe that my visit with the Mayor has improved my safety in Ponyville greatly, and the chances of me ever having to leave my friends is now greatly diminished.

But earlier, that did not seem to me the least bit likely. Nay, as I trudged with trepidation to Town Hall, such a possibility never crossed my mind...

*****

It was mid-afternoon when I left the library for Town Hall. I yelled out to Spike that I would be out, but he didn't respond. I'd like to think that he didn't hear me, but there's no use in fooling myself. He's been acting distant for almost a week now, and I know it's because of how I've been treating him. He didn't deserve for me to be so rude and cruel to him, and now I fear I may have damaged our relationship permanently...

...I'm sorry. I digress.

It was mid-afternoon, meaning that the afternoon market was in full swing. It would have been packed with ponies, and I wasn't in the mood to get one last glimpse at faces I might never seen again. So I purposely took the long route and walked through the less-frequented streets. Thankfully, I only crossed paths with a few ponies, and none of them I knew very well. During that final march to the hangmare's noose, my solitude made me wonder if all I had done before last night, all the good I had performed in my life, made up for what I had done to Trixie. Can a lifetime of good redeem one evil action? Does the perpetrator of an evil action deserve to be redeemed? Do I deserve to be forgiven?

I was in the shadow of storm clouds the entire way to Town Hall, despite there not being a single cloud in the sky. When I finally arrived, Town Hall had take on the visage of a prison, the guard at the main entrance doing nothing to dissuade that image. Informed that the Mayor was waiting for me, I was led to her office, and ushered inside. Inside, I was greeted by Mayor Mare and the head of the Ponyville guard, Sergeant Whisper Winds, a light gray pegasus mare.

"Thank you for coming as soon as possible Twilight. I didn't know who else to turn to in town," the Mayor began, waving me towards her desk.

I couldn't help but gasp when I saw Trixie's horn sitting atop a paper sheet on the Mayor's desk, drawing the attention of the other two mares in the room.

"I take it you've read the newspaper, Ms. Sparkle," the Sergeant said, glancing over to me before nodding at the desk, "that horn is why Mrs. Mayor asked for your presence here."

I remained silent, not trusting myself to say something that would bring suspicion to me. Taking my silence as invitation to continue, Sergeant Winds spoke up again.

"As you read in the paper, screams were heard the night that we found that horn, which gives us good reason to suspect this is the result of pony on pony violence. Since Ponyville rarely has any such occurrences, aside from the rare drunken brawl, our guard force here isn't equipped for any sort of investigation."

"Which is why you're here Twilight," Mayor Mare picked up, gesturing me closer to the table, "I didn't want to contact a professional investigator from another city just yet, as it would bring the wrong kind of publicity to Ponyville. So I was hoping that you, as the premier magic expert in Ponyville, would perhaps have a spell in your repertoire that might aide us in identifying who this belongs to, and possibly what ponies were involved in its... forceful removal," she finished, the jagged nature of the break ominously alluding to my actions the previous night.

"Well, I'll see what I can do..." I trailed off, desperately trying to think of a way I could remove the horn from their possession before they would contact a proper investigator from outside Ponyville.

"Miss Sparkle, we would understand if you wouldn't be comfortable with doing this," the Sergeant placed her hoof on my shoulder, "if you don't wish to, we thank you for coming here anyway."

"N-no, it's fine, I'm just thinking of what spell to use," I responded hastily, moving closer to the desk.

I couldn't help but shiver when I picked the horn up with my magic, but it wasn't a shudder of disgust that ran down my spine. I felt satisfaction for what I had done run through me as I held Trixie's horn, feeling its furrows beneath my magic. Forcefully repressing the sensations, I returned my attention on the horn itself, and focused my magic into a spell.

A cloud of smoked erupted into existence around the horn, concealing it from view. As the cloud began to disperse, the room's other two occupants stared intently at it, waiting to see what the horn. Their expressions soon turned to bewilderment, for when the cloud disappeared, a rock was held where the horn had once been.

"...Ms. Sparkle, where did the horn go?" The Sergeant asked, eyeing the rock confusedly.

"Yes indeed, Twilight," Mayor Mare added, "and why are we staring at a rock?"

"Well, ladies," I addressed them, "the horn was, in fact, this rock before you now. When I picked up the horn, the first thing I noticed was the signature of a very common transmogrification spell. Though," I paused, swallowing nervously, "I can't say I ever saw the spell used like this."

"But why would anypony want to make a shattered horn? And what does that have to do with the screams?" The Mayor asked, just as befuddled as the Sergeant.

"Well, I might have an idea on that..." I answered, a slight blush appearing on my face in anticipation to what I was about to say, "the paper said that two screams were heard right?" Getting a nod from the two of them, I continued, "well, the interviewee said that one scream sounded like pleasure, and the other like pain, so if we put that together with this prop," at this, I lifted the rock, drawing their gaze to it, "I think that the two ponies that were heard in the park may have been enacting in some sort of... S&M activity..."

All three of us were now wearing red faces, and the Mayor and the Sergeant were making a point not to look anywhere near the rock held in my grip.

"W-well, that's an interesting theory, Twilight. I-I hadn't thought of it in that way," the Mayor spoke, uncharacteristically stumbling over her words, "but what then is to be done about the... perpetrators?"

"I don't think anything needs to be done, honestly. They're probably embarrassed enough as it is after reading the morning paper," I replied, shrugging, "you may still want to announce that the horn was a fake to calm the town though."

"Ah, y-yes, a good idea. I think I'll get right on that," Mayor Mare said, walking behind her desk, "Sergeant, would you be kind enough to escort yourself and Ms. Sparkle out? Thank you both for your help."

"Of course Miss Mayor. Ms. Sparkle, if you would follow me," Sergeant Winds nodded, heading for the door.

Just as I was about to pass the threshold, Mayor Mare spoke out, causing me to turn around, "and Twilight?" She half-smiled at me, "I would appreciate if you tossed the stone somewhere in the park at your earliest convenience, if you would."

*****

Well, it goes without saying that I didn't do as Mayor Mare asked. The horn is currently stowed away in the safe downstairs, so I'll have to find the time to dispose of it safely in the Everfree.

But now, once again within the home I feared I would never return to, I feel as though a great weight has been lifted from me. I know that I don't deserve to feel such relief, but I can't help but be glad for it. As I sit here and write, I can see the faintest glimmer of hope in the corner of my eye. I know now that my life doesn't have to be an unending Tartarus of suffering. Yes, it may never return to the contentment and security of mind that it was before the Itch ever came into my awareness, but at least I can put back some of the shattered pieces. But to do that, I first must rebuild the relationships I had let decay during the tyranny of the Itch.

I can only hope that it never returns...

Good day and signing off,
Twilight Sparkle