Babs Seed Profile

“Now dat’s one fine building for such a small town,” Babs commented to Applebloom. The two ponies had just arrived at the Ponyville Police Department, which happened to be one of the finest buildings in the entire town. It had maroon bricks outlining the frame of the building, and a golden wooden plywood exterior. The roof, in contrast, was layered in elegant, spearmint green plywood. In the middle of the front entrance, where Babs and Applebloom stood, were a single pair of gorgeous double doors, each adorned with a picture of a star with the imprint of a pony in the center. Above the door hung a bold green sign, which read ‘PONYVILLE POLICE DEPARTMENT’ in bright silver letters.

“Ah know, right?” replied Applebloom in a smug tone. “The exterior wood work is spectacular, if Ah do say so mahself. Don’t you agree, Babs?”

“I take it you had something to do with da construction.” Babs retorted. Applebloom just frankly answered back.

“Eeyup!”

The building’s interior was just as marvelous as its exterior. The walls had a nice Oak finish, and a long, green couch encircled the perimeter of the room. Facing the double doors was a single counter spanning one side, and directly in front of the counter laid a Pegasus stallion, hunched over and sleeping (snoring, even), positioned towards the wall. This cream colored pegasus stallion was incredibly lanky, almost appearing anorexic. His head, which looked almost twice as large as his stick figure body, was adorned with an auburn brown bowl cut mane. He wore a tan button-up collared shirt with dirt brown pockets and shoulders, topped off with a dirt brown tie. He also wore a gun holster that covered up his cutie mark. Shortly after the two mares’ entrance, the pegasus asleep on the desk popped up from his sleep. Groggily, he turned around and was surprised to see the two mares that have most likely been watching him sleep on the job. He then gaily fluttered towards the two mares before he threw an admirable salute to them.

“Pleasure to meet you, Agent Seed,” the pegasus stallion said in a nervous, yet pleasant tone. “We’ve been expecting you. I’m Featherweight, the Sheriff’s assistant.”

“FBI Special Agent Babs Seed,” she replied back while flashing her badge from the Fillydelphia Bureau of Investigations. “But you can just call me Babs. Dat’s what everyone calls me.”

“Uh, very well then, A-Agent... Agent Babs,” Featherweight stuttered nervously. “I want to help do everything I can to help the investigation. The victim was such a bright and lovely mare, I just can’t believe Diamond Tiara was murdered.”

“Ah can.” Applebloom interrupted. The other two just stared daggers at her, making her blush with embarrassment.

“Did you know her well?” Babs asked him in response.

“W-we were in the same class back when we were foals,” Featherweight answered, “but that’s the case for everypony here at the police department.” He hung his head down in shame. “I-I’m sorry. It’s just, this is the first really big case I’ve ever seen.”

“I understand,” Babs reassured to him in hopes of comforting him. “Just try to relax. Now, can I have a look at Diamond Tiara’s File?”

“Y-yes, of Course!” Featherweight perked up. “The Sheriff told me to let you through to the meeting room, but...”

“Lemme guess, ya lost the keys to the filin cabinets again, didn’t you?” shot out Applebloom during Featherweight’s lapse. The stallion just nodded, ashamed by his mistake. “Don’t worry about it, Featherweight,” she continued. “Hey Babs, why don’t ya take a look around the station while Featherweight and Ah go find that key?”

“Alright. Sounds good. Let me know when things are ready,” Babs replied as Applebloom ran down a hallway to the mares’ left while Featherweight gaily fluttered off behind Applebloom. “Berry, Featherweight appears to be da kind and sensitive type. Da ‘Private Pansy’ to da ‘Commander Hurricane’ of a Sherriff. Throw in da book-smart nerd, da fashionable drama queen, da down-to-earth country pony, and da comedic relief, and you got yourself a good setting for a cartoon.”

Babs used this moment to look around the department. The two hallways to either side of the first room looked exactly like the rest of the interior. At the end of the left hallway was the stairs that lead downstairs to some jail cells. She entered the basement jail and was surprised to see Applebloom and Featherweight standing in one of the cells.

“Found it!” Applebloom raised a set of keys connected to a keychain of a curvy-tailed squirrel so that the agent could see.

“Wait, but how did you...” Babs began to question before she was interrupted.

“Featherweight likes to clean up around the department when there’s not much goin on,” Applebloom explained. “Sometimes, he accidentally drops the keys when he’s cleanin. This is actually the fifth time he dropped them in this cell.”

Babs face-hoofed in response.

“I’ll bring the files right over to you,” Said Featherweight, still blushing from embarrassment. “So please, go to the meeting room. It’s the room closest to the entrance room within the left hallway.”

Later that morning, Babs, Applebloom, and Featherweight sat around a single long table within the meeting room. Dinky, who arrived at work just a moment ago, read the contents of the file aloud to them.

“The victim’s name was Diamond Tiara,” read Dinky. “Age 20, her dream was to move out of Ponyville and become a model. But for the time being, she was working at the Twist and Shout Diner, here in town. She lived with her father, Filthy Rich. Diamond Tiara’s mother died in an accident during the Winter Wrap Up that happened in Ponyville eighteen years ago, when Diamond was just a foal. Her father was the owner of ‘Rich’s Barnyard Bargains’ a franchise of convenient stores that went out of business three years ago. Currently, he’s unemployed and is living on what little riches he had after his stores went under. After all, Ponyville is a small town with a low cost of living. Financially, they seemed to get by fine and they led normal lives.” Dinky finished.

“A normal life is exactly what a pampered pony doesn’t want,” Babs stated. “It’s all starting to make sense, Berry.” Babs lifted a biscuit that was on a plate in front of her. She took the cigarette that she was smoking and extinguished it on the now empty plate.

“City folk, huh,” Dinky said sarcastically to Applebloom and Featherweight, clearly disgusted by Babs’ lack of etiquette. “No, I take that back. All of them can’t be as bad as her, though some should have better manners.” Babs paid no attention to Dinky as she took a bite out of the biscuit she was holding.

“Whoa!” Babs shouted in shock after she took a bite. “Now Dis is a good biscuit! I’ve never tasted a biscuit dis delicious! Where in town can I get dese?!” She asked the other cops.

“Well, actually,” Featherweight admitted shyly, “I umm... I-I baked them myself.”

“Featherweight always cooks us biscuits,” Applebloom commented. “How he doesn’t have a cutie mark in cookin, Ah’ll never know.”

“Really?!” Babs questioned. “Dat’s amazing. What are you doing in law enforcement?!”

“Photography...” He sheepishly replied

“I am very particular about biscuits, I’ll have you know,” Babs continued. “Da balance of milk and butter you’ve achieved here...” Babs took another bite out of the biscuit. “Oh My!” At that moment, the door to the meeting room slammed open.

“Everypony, Diamond’s autopsy’s ready,” Rumble called out to everyone in the room. “Agent Seed, you are welcome to accompany me to the Ponyville General Hospital.” Rumble looked over to Dinky. “Dinky, you come too.” Then he looked over to Applebloom and Featherweight. “Featherweight, stay here and tidy up these files. Applebloom, you watch the station while we’re gone. Alright everypony, let’s get going!”

“Yes sir!” Dinky, Featherweight, and Applebloom replied as they saluted Rumble. Applebloom and Dinky made their way out of the meeting room while Featherweight started to clean up the table. Babs followed the other mares before Rumble stopped her.

“You might think this is just a small town police investigation,” Rumble lectured to her, “But our inspections are thorough and solid. I’m hoping you won’t slow us down.”

“Heh, dat’s funny,” Babs replied. “I was just about to say da same thing to you.” She smugly smiled as she headed out the police department. Rumble merely scowled at her behind her back.