What Human?

I opened my eyes lazily to the sound of my phone blaring its ringtone. I reached for it and answered.

"Nick, there's been a car accident by Edgemere and we need more hands on deck!" A clerk said.

I sighed, "Alright, I'm on my way."

I stood up from my bed and, and, uh..

+++++

"And??" Twilight asked impatiently.

I shrugged, "I thought I recalled a lot more that."

"That's it? That was your whole day?!" Applejack asked.

"I don't know! I just, can't remember the rest." I said.

"So this is great. That means we don't have any leads." Twilight sighed.

"Why do we even need these leads? Why don't we just talk to them?" Apple Bloom asked.

"I don't think they'll have as much sympathy as this one here." Twilight pointed at me.

"Well I mean, I AM one of them; I'm sure I could chat with 'em at least." I pointed.

"Yes, but we don't know where they ARE." She replied.

"Then why don't we just find out?" Sweetie Belle asked.

Twilight gave her an unsure look before turning back to me.

"You, you think they won't be hostile to us?" She asked.

"Everyone has a side to a story. I'm sure we could get their support."

"...Alright. I think if we could search the town, we could gather some more leads on this." Twilight pointed.

"Sounds like a plan." Applejack agreed.

+++++

"So, who are we asking first?" I asked.

"One of my friends; she's been hit pretty bad though, so it'd be best if you sit this one out." Twilight said.

I nodded, giving the okay for Applejack and Twilight to walk into the large gingerbread-looking house. It was covered in fake candy and icing that looked so real that I couldn't tell whether to admire it or try eating it, and had a small sign with a cupcake on it that was hanging above the door. Several seconds later, I felt someone looking at me from inside it, and turned to a window on the house to see a quick flash of pink fly by it.

I turned to the kids and nudged Apple Bloom.

"Did you see that pink thing fly by the window?" I asked, pointing at the now empty space.

"Uh, no. Why?"

"I don't know. Just, something feels off.." I shivered slightly.

I looked around at my surroundings nervously and scooted closer to the girls, hoping they'd repel whatever was near with their cuteness. I felt loads of anxiety and fear to the point where I crouched beside the CMC.

"Woah, personal space, man!" Scootaloo backed away.

"Yeah, what's got into you? Why are you shaking like that?" Sweetie asked.

"Oh, no reason, just-" *POOF*

+++++

I opened my eyes, unable to see anything, with the odd taste of paper confetti present in my mouth.

"Uh, Apple Bloom? Scootaloo? Sweetie Belle?!"

I peered around the dark room, waiting for something to jump out at me or turn on a light and walk slowly towards me. It was like those scary movies where you knew a ghost or something would jump at you, but you just didn't know when. Then it hit me: I was in another universe inhabited by colorful ponies, so honestly, how bad could it be?.. Right?

"Hello? If you're gonna kill me, at least give me the common decency to see your face!" I cried.

Then, the lights flipped on, allowing me to see I was roped around a chair, and get a glimpse of a pink figure slowly walk out of the shadows with a grin. At that moment, I've never been so fearful of a female pink pony in my entire life. Not to mention, she wasn't fully pink, but a dark shade of it rather. She had completely straight hair that dropped over her face, and a Mark of two yellow balloons and a blue one on her flank. She had bright blue eyes and a scared, yet confident look on her face.

She walked up closer to me and put a hoof on my chest.

"Who are ya working for?!" She yelled in a squeaky voice.

"What? What do you mean?" I asked.

"Who. Are. You. Working for?!" She cried again.

"I work for the Sierra Petrovita Medical Center! Real bad pay, I think." I thought out loud.

She stared blindly forward before shaking her head.

"No, NO, NO!!" She screeched.

"What then?! What do you want me to say?!"

"Say that it WAS you who destroyed this entire building and messed with my friends!!" She yelled, compromising the few inches she had away from my face.

"What?! Why the heck would I say I did something that I didn't?!?!"

"SAY IT!" She growled, scrunching her nose on mine.

"No thank you!"

Right as the pink menace growled again, I saw the doors behind her open to reveal Twilight and Applejack, hopefully here to whisk me away to safety.

"Woah, woah, Pinkie! He's friendly!" Twilight called, running to her side.

"Wait, you know this crazy pink pony?" I asked, getting a cold look from the one in question.

"She's not normally like this." Applejack said as she untied me.

"I hope so. I wouldn't like to be kidnapped again." I glared at 'Pinkie'.

Twilight started taking her upstairs as Applejack helped me up on my feet.

"Don't you worry, she's sweeter than apple pie once she get's to know you." She said.

I rubbed my arms and sighed. "Can't tell you how many times I've heard that lie, but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt."

Applejack smiled and followed upstairs out of the scary interro-basement alongside me. Once out of the room, I took some time to appreciate the much brighter side of the building, with its lack of captive victims that most likely got ground up into sprinkles and creepy, dark corners that may or may not of contained loads of torturous items. All in all, I was glad I had connections at that moment.

Twilight pulled up chairs and had us all sit down beside this one table. I was of course right in front of Pinkie, who still gave me a bit of a look, and beside Applejack, whom I now had to trust with my life in the event anything went sour with the pink one.

"So," Twilight began, "this one here is friendly; we've established that, right?"

Small nod from Pinkie, who wasn't letting up her look in the slightest.

"Good. But.." Twilight looked at me, searching for a name tag of some sort.

"Nick."

"-but Nick here needs to find the others. Do you have any idea where they might've went after they came here?"

"Everfree Forest." Pinkie said blankly.

"Whelp, they're goners." Applejack shrugged.

"What? Why? What's so bad about this forest?"

"What, you mean aside from the Timberwolves, Cockatrices and the giant, transparent, pony eating bears known as Ursas? Absolutely nothing."

"Wow, you know I could have used without that info, right?"

"I'm the Element of Honesty; it's my thing." She shrugged.

"So, what should we do then?" Twilight asked.

I raised my hand. "I'll go look for them. If anyone is hostile, they'll be less so to me.... hopefully." I looked at Pinkie, who was staring at the floor, lost in thought. "Plus, it looks like you have someone to attend to."

+++++

"Jeez, that's a lot. Okay. Okay! That's good! I wasn't planning on a year long trip, man!" I said, swatting Applejack's hooves, which were still trying to shove apples into my makeshift backpack.

"Ah just don't wantcha to be hungry!" She replied.

"I know, I know, but all the weight wouldn't necessarily help either!"

Applejack huffed, and made way for Twilight, who handed me a canteen, a map, and a small book. I quizzically looked at the paperback.

"It's a guide the the Everfree's plants and animals, just in case you're unsure of something in there." She explained.

"Ah. Thanks." I smiled slightly. It would've helped to instead be given a twelve gauge or something, instead of a book that helped me find out whether some giant space bear wanted a human happy meal or not, but I had doubted anything other than flowers and smiles being regarded as a weapon here, despite the few ideas I've already been wrong about so far.

So after being lectured on how to use the table of contents in a book, I said my very short goodbyes and headed out. The map had shown a trail blazed through the forest, giving me a small sense of where to go. I walked further on the empty streets of the town, until I was met with small, flat lands and rolling hills that led to the forest's tree line. I walked on the hill to see an unlit campfire up ahead.

I ducked up closer to the fire and inspected it, noticing the absence of anyone.

"Huh." I hummed, toying around with the pretty well built camp. I heard rustling to my right side and jumped, just to see three fillies walk out to me.

"Wha? What are you guys doing here?!" I whispered.

"What do ya mean? We're only a few feet away from Ponyville." Apple Bloom pointed, making me stand up to see a 'Welcome to Ponyville' sign just feet away.

"Well, that's not the point! I'm planning on going into the forest!-"

I heard more rustling from my left side and huddled the kids behind a bush to see what was going to show up. We continued staring, nature deciding it was time to be completely silent to pose for a dramatic scene.

"GO! GO! HEAD BACK TO THE CAMP!" Someone yelled. I saw crows fly out from the trees and the now growing sound of rustling. I waited patiently with the CMC to see someone, not somepony, but SOMEONE jump out of the tree line and roll forward. Then another, and another, and another. Soon, the last guy, where I counted five, jumped out, followed by three creatures that poked their heads out for a few seconds, before snarling and backing away. The five laid there, panting, before one guy decided to stand up, giving me a clear look of his face, forcing me out of the bush and towards him.

"D-Dave?" I croaked, not believing what I was seeing. He turned to me, his stethoscope glimmering in the distance.

"Nick? Is that you?" He asked.

I nodded quickly, picking up my pace as he did so too.

"Dave!"

"Nick!"

We both ran and hugged each other.

"I thought you were gone man!" My brother cried.

"Me too, man, me too!" I started smiling..

I saw someone come by and break us up, before pointing an accusing finger at me.

"How do you know he's not some sort of creature from this forest or something?!" He said.

"Cause he's with us!" I looked behind myself to see the CMC running to sit by my side. The man growled and moved forward, before being stopped by my brother's hand.

"Those things are the ones that attacked us!" The man cried, swatting Dave's hand.

I held the three defensively and crouched beside them.

"You destroyed their homes!" I retorted.

My brother stood between us an held his hands out.

"Okay, look, nobody destroyed anything, alright? We can all talk this out; I'm sure we both have good sides to this." He said calmly.

The man backed up and huffed, before crossing his arms.

"Alright. So, first of all, what did you hear Nick? What's your side, 'cause I'd rather clear this up right here and now so nothing arises in the future.-"

"Well, you know, we still have injured here. If you're gonna talk, make it fast, otherwise, these guys' wounds shouldn't be ignored." The man interrupted. Dave snapped his fingers and turned to them.

"That's right," he looked at me. "Wanna lend me a hand?"

I nodded and stood up, telling the kids to stay in their place and walked over to the three injured guys.

"Alright," Dave rubbed his head. "Do you know of anyplace we can hold up in to help these guys?"

I shook my head.

"Back at the farm, we got a cellar ya'll could use!" Apple Bloom chimed.

"Really? And your family would be fine with aliens living in their cellar?" The man asked sarcastically.

"Yup! Ah mean, Applejack's only saved the world about a dozen times or so, so she's dealt with weirder." She replied.

"Well, only place we got as of now, so let's go, I say.-"

"Wait, I don't get a say in this decision?" The man grumbled.

"Alright then, Derek, make it fast, because we have wounded here." Dave said slyly.

The man opened his mouth, then shut it closed as his own argument was thrown at him.

"Fine, let's just get these guys to safety." He said. Dave nodded in agreement before picking a guy up. I stood the one with the busted leg up and gave him my shoulder.

"Guys, could you lead us back to the farm?" I asked the CMC.

"Psh! We know this place like the back of our hand! Come on, girls!" Scootaloo ushered, starting to run back into the forest.

"Wait!" I called, making them freeze. "Could we not go through the forest that put us in this situation in the first place?"

The three nodded, then began running around, giving us the okay to start following.

"So," Dave said shortly after. "Back to the whole, 'destroying their homes' thing. What happened to you?"

"Well, I had just ended up here one day, lying in a treehouse, which belonged to those three girls. After they attacked me with sticks and stuff, I made breakfast for them in their house, and found the yellow one's sister. Then, they took me to this other one's house, and she was hostile to me because she thought I was the one who trashed her home. After THAT, we went to one of her friends to find out where you guys are, and I got kidnapped, then was given some stuff to come and search for you guys. There was a lot more to it, but that's the absolute bare minimum."

"Huh," Dave furrowed a brow. "Well I guess that kinda explains all the apples then." He said, inspecting the makeshift pack.

I nodded. "Everyone expected it to last longer than a few minutes. So, what's your side to it?" I asked.

"Well, it's a bit of a long story." Dave said.

I looked ahead, seeing the CMC walking to the farm way out in the distance.

"I think we got the time." I said.