The Trials and Tribulations of Red Sentry

Weeks 2-3

Weeks 2-3

Well, I wasn’t so sure I’d be back, but here I am. I can’t believe it’s only been two weeks. Feels like nearly a month ago the last time I wrote in here. I guess a recap of everything that has occurred since then is kind of necessary.

Fleur and I have written back and forth a little since we’ve returned to our respective universities. She’s doing well, and I’m…..okay. I can’t say I too particularly thrilled at the prospect of trying to find a new marefriend. I’m mean seriously; I got really lucky just getting her to date me. You don’t get lucky like that super often unless you just have charm, money and good looks flying out of every pore in your body. Anyway, I guess you could say I have my eye on a few mares around here, but all I’m doing for the time being is watching and gathering information. And by information, I mean are they single or not. It’s not so much getting the first date that’s the problem, but making sure they are available for it, and I sure do get shot down. Often. I sometimes wonder if they are lying just to avoid it but, I’m just likely being paranoid. Sometimes though, you just have to wonder if there is something catastrophically wrong with you that everypony else can see and you’re oblivious too. Is there something wrong with my voice? Do I have a third eye or an extra wing? Am I an ugly, deformed mutant that just thinks that he’s the biggest stud since the beginning of time? Pssh, I doubt it, and I just have the bad luck of hitting on taken mares.

On the other hoof, I am being hit on by a few mares from some of my classes. Problem being that they are either related to a friend (don’t date your friend’s little sister. It’s just a bad idea.); or not what I’m looking for. I typically go for the lean, athletic, pretty kind that have a good heart and can carry an interesting conversation. I know it’s a tall order. Most these mares fail the athletic part. I don’t want to seem or sound shallow ( or at least completely) about this, and I have good reason for being picky about it. I enjoy physical activity. It’s a large part of my lifestyle, some of it being Royal Guard imposed, some not. The fact is, I want somepony that can stick with me on a run, or hay, even challenge me. Not to mention that if I do end up marrying that mare, living a healthy lifestyle means potentially living long and wonderful lives together. (Aside from that, the sex is better and can last longer. Just saying.) Plus, I’ve already dated a non-athletic mare once. It wasn’t immediately apparent, but my constant working out, made her feel inadequate and start having self-esteem issues. She wasn’t overweight or anything, just not into doing a while lot of physical movement. Our dates would usually involve eating out, watching movies, snuggling; that sort of stuff. After a few months though, of hearing about my run, or my flight, or how workout with the corps was, it was a sore spot. She thought I was telling her to do more, (as much as I would have loved to go running with her, I would never put our relationship as the ultimatum for it) and saying she was getting fat. Despite me denying that those were my intentions, we cut it off shortly thereafter. I made her feel bad, just with the sight of me and that obviously isn’t good for a relationship. The athleticism rule went up immediately after that. I never want to make somepony else feel bad about themselves and their body, just because I push mine harder than they do. I’m not that shallow, I’m just….avoiding causing pain where none is needed. I hope.

Anyway, my classes aren’t as bad as I thought they’d be. Granted it’s only the first week, but the point remains that I might have had the wrong idea and approached with the wrong attitude. Regardless, it’ll still be plenty of work, but I can get through it.

The biggest things that trouble me right now are that I feel lonely. I miss having somepony to share my life and feelings with. I miss listening to somepony tell me about themselves and what they love. I miss the warmth of snuggling and listening to the soft sound of breathing. I miss the goodbye kisses, and seeing that look in another’s eyes that says more than can ever be spoken. I miss the warm feeling I’d get whenever I simply thought of my special somepony. Loneliness hurts and is cold. I hate it. The other thing is getting good grades. My future is dependent on what I do today and can make or break it. I suppose on that note, I should get back to studied and not whining into these pages. Until next time I guess.

-RS