Repercussions

"ten little life lines,
this circle whole,
i will take back with vengeance,
that which broke my soul."

Applejack sat in a ring, a sad smile on her face, this was what she wanted, after all, to be with the one pony who cared for her as much as she cared for them. and this was her only way out,

My dearest Twilight,

words cannot prove to you how grateful i am that you tried to help me over the last few weeks, never leaving my side, feeding me, helping with the farm, cleaning up the house after my family, but mostly, just being there for me, it really did make me realise how beautiful some ponies are,

but not even the most compassionate can save me now.

"nine little life lines.
the peace disturbed,
this spiral that i've taken
i will not be perturbed"

i think, really, you were not only trying to help me, but yourself, in a way, and i'm not in any way going to make this burden any less torturous, and for that, i apologise,
it wasn't my intention to hurt any of you after all, i just can't get rid of the guilt, the feeling nagging away at me,

The pain

"Eight little life lines,
patience is sweet,
no shortcuts, no skiving,
i will not cheat"

perhaps, just maybe, you could find it within yourself to forgive me for what i am about to do, clearly once you've read this the deed will already have been done, but that won't make this any less hard to read,

i don't know if you recall me telling you. But Rainbow Dash was my very first friend, helping me when i needed her most, defending me from those horrific bullies from her flight school. we were only little back then, but she still saved me, i was eternally grateful, she used to come over and help me pick the apples in the family orchard, zooming inbetween the trees, with her beautiful spectrum tail leaving a faint rainbow in her wake,

"beauty at it's finest" it really was a sight you know.

we became the very best of friends very quickly,

we spent all of our childhood together, never leaving each others sides, playing games together, laughing, having fun, playing jokes, she even helped me trick the bullies that she saved me from, our friendship turned to love, and my love for her grew on.

"seven little life lines..."

I didn't think she really cottoned on to my true feelings for her, i thought i'd managed to hide them, i didn't want to ruin our friendship, i was nearly certain it would have done, when we were older, no longer filly's, i met her friend Gilda from the flightschool they both attended, i was intruiged, to make new friends, to meet new types of people, Gilda seemed cruel hearted at first, stealing, lying, fighting, but i was wrong about her. don't get me wrong, she stole, she lied, she fought with nearly everyone who contradicted her, but she wasn't cold and cruel at all...

she saved my life,

"six little life lines..."

you see, Gilda saw straight through my mask, saw the adoring looks i showered Dashie with whenever i thought noone was looking, i didn't notice, of course, but Gilda realised, and she confronted me about it, told me that she knew, i was crushed, begged her not to tell Dashie, she said she wouldn't, but she did, i suppose, in the end

i was at my farm, i'd just finished helping big Mac buck the apples for the days harvest, when i heard loud giggling, i quietly walked into the barn, to find Gilda and my Dashie,

in the rafters,

kissing,

Applejack snorted, a tear ran down her cheek at such a distant memory from her ravaged childhood, still, she continued

"five little life lines,
half way to my demise..."

i ran out, my heart already broken, i didn't want them to know i'd seen them aswell, i was convinced that Gilda did that because she knew my true feelings for her cyan friend,

i tried to kill myself, Twilight,

i ran all the way to the cliff at the edge of Sweet Apple Acres, and without even thinking, i leapt straight off, once i realised what i'd done i regretted everything, nothing was worth this, i looked down at the jagged rocks rising up to meet me, wondering if i'd feel pain, or if it would just end, was death merciful?

i didn't get the chance to find out,

Applejack put down her pen, considering what she'd just written,

"nothing was worth this" yet here she was,

she mumbled under her breath:

"four little life lines,
why do i feel remorse?
it's too late to turn back now..."

her voice trailed off, her rhyme forgotten, her mind vague, the numbness in her brain making it hard to concentrate

"three little life lines,"

Gilda caught me Twilight,

she explained to me, that Dashie knew my feelings for her, and just wanted to see if i was truly serious, they had never expected me to commit suicide,

Dashie cried for hours, apologising the whole time, i felt so guilty, because i was putting her through this, but so happy, i knew she cared about me, and my heart filled with joy,

i put my hoof on her shoulder, she turned to me, her eyes red with tears, for once i wasn't scared of showing the affection i always had in my eyes, when she wasn't looking at me, she shot up quickly,

and kissed me.

"two little life lines
i begin to wander now
drifting through my consciousness
time to take my last bow"

Applejack recalled the kiss as the best moment of her life, so many feelings were conveyed as she had returned the kiss with equal strength, their tongues flicking over each other, pushing against one another, they pulled apart, both blushing deeply, looking into each others eyes with passion anew, before returning to their kiss,

She had longed for that kiss since she met her Dashie, she hadn't wanted it to end then, she still wished it hadn't, but it was that kiss she wanted now,

when i realised i was too late to save her, i considered myself already dead then, i am but a shell, i'm sure you of all ponies know that i'm not the Applejack that you knew and loved a month ago, and i hope that with that in mind, this is less of a blow to you than it would have been under normal circumstances,

if i had been, but a few minutes sooner, Rainbow Dash would have been here now, i know, it sounds silly, all this typical sad, "ooh if only i was here earlier she'd still be alive" attention seeking crap, but that is the truth, dearest Twilight, and you know that as well as i do,

but rejoice! i will be reunited with my love once more, and we will live on,

together,

forever.

"my last little life line
my final sweet release,
my life turned numb not long ago
time to breathe in peace"

please, try to remember Pinkie, Dashie and I as our former selves, not the mangled corpse of a cyan shell, the psychotic remains of a killer, and a collapsed empty frame of a long lost pony, but how we are, We are whole, the beauty of the night sky full of stars cannot even hope to compare...

Applejack slowly looked up again, at the rainbow coloured spirit that had been there for the last ten minutes, stood in the center of the room, the spirit smiled at her, she returned it, knowing that she was safe now, a bright pink haze of equal size stood next to her love, she smiled, knowing that it was the real Pinkie, the Pink spirit hesitantly returned the smile, tears pouring from it's eyes,

Applejack dipped her quill in the pot of ink for the last time,

it is everyone's time eventually, Twilight Sparkle, rest assured, when it is yours, we will be there for you, and even in your old age, you will become beautiful once again,

all our love,

Applejack
Rainbow Dash
Pinkie Pie

She knew it was time to join her lover, she slowly stumbled to her bed, lying down and relaxing, she faced the pure perfection situated in the middle of the room, it came as a relief really, it was what she wanted, she softly sang out, her voice echoing in the silent room.

"If I could I’d hit rewind and replay. All the moments that I wished.."

as darkness took over her body, she sighed,

"I could have called you mine."

_________________________________________________________________________________________________

My time has come, and I am gone. To a better place, far beyond.
I love you all, as you will see. it is better now, because I'm free. - author unknown