In Spike We Trust

In Spike We Trust

• Cornflak

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I’m not good at telling stories, but I’ll give it a shot. You probably don't even know what's going on, but everypony's talking about me right now. I screwed up big time, just because I wanted Rarity to like me. I trusted the wrong draconequus. I’m talking about Discord. Please don’t ask how I got involved with him. I’ll get to it later.

So, it starts while I’m at the house with Twilight.

It’s almost midnight.

“This bow tie looks stupid.” I’m just glaring at myself in the mirror. I don’t look like somepony who’s excited about their first date.

“Trust me, Spike. I know she’ll love it.”

Twilight was talking about how Rarity would think I’m pretty sexy if I wore this big red bow. Twilight didn’t use the word “sexy”, though. She said I would look, “highly distinguished and approachable”.

“But I’ll look good?”

She just laughs at me.

“Now, make sure you listen to everything she says. Rarity likes to talk about a variety of things if you give her the chance. Don’t be surprised if you find yourself listening to how this shade of red doesn't go with a dress, or how this hairstyle will go out of style next year. But whatever you do, just act like you’re listening.”

“I've had a lot of practice.” I roll my eyes.

“Oh, well that’s good!” Twilight doesn't catch on that I was making fun of her. And now she’s standing behind me and reaching around with her hooves to straighten the big red bow for the tenth time, “Are you excited?”

“I might be if I can take this off.”

“Don’t be cynical, Spike. You want to look good for your date, right?”

“Can’t I just wear the mustache?”

Twilight laughs again. I’m convinced that she doesn't take me seriously anymore.

“Okay, did you use the cologne I got you?”

“No. I smell fine.”

“You smell like a dragon.” she giggles and sprays a cloud of smell-good stuff in my face, stinging my eyes and making me sneeze. When I’m trying to rub the tears away, Twilight hears a knock at the door, “Oh, that must be the girls. Spike, you need to go ahead and meet Rarity in town. I’m having a sleepover tonight.”

“With who?” I head over to the front door with Twilight.

“The girls.”

I wish she would look down and see the face I’m giving her.

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The date with Rarity is really awkward. We’re just sitting on top of a hill at midnight, looking at stars. I guess it’s pretty romantic, but I’m just worried about how stupid she thinks my big red bow looks. She hasn’t said anything about boring dresses or hairstyles.

“You know, Spike, I really am quite impressed that you came out tonight.”

“Really?”

“Well, of course! Twilight told me all about how nervous you were.”

“She did?” My face starts flushing and turning red. I’m ready to go back home and crash the sleepover after hearing that.

“Oh, don’t worry. It’s perfectly normal, darling.  And you can remove that silly bow tie. I know how much you hate those things.”

As I rip the bow off my neck, I almost ask her how she knows that. But then I remember all the times when she would play dress-up with me and experiment with all sorts of lame clothes. Personally, my favorite will always be the mustache.

“So what do you wanna do?” I try not to let my voice crack.

“Oh, Spikey Wikey, we can do whatever you want.” she bats her eyes at me.

I can’t help it when she does that. I start feeling dizzy and my claws go numb. My heart feels really heavy. I try to catch my breath. I’m gonna kiss her. There’s no turning back because both of us are already leaning in. It’s almost like we planned for this to happen.

But then I feel my throat tighten. My eyes get really big and I know what’s about to happen.

HICCUP!

A rush of warm air erupts from my throat and I close my eyes.

Please stop. Don’t do this.

I end up burping really loud and a fireball hops out of my mouth and heads straight for Rarity’s pretty face. The fireball practically eats her whole head.

“WHA-? SPIKEEEEEE! OH, MY HAIR! SPIKE, MY HAIR!!”

Rarity starts punching her own face with her hooves. She looks like she’s trying to swat a bunch of flies on her head. I look down from the hill and I see a stream of water nearby. Without thinking, I just go ahead and shove her off the edge. She screams all the way down and makes a big splash.

“Rarity! You all right?” I lean over and look down until I see her head plop up from the water. She starts swinging her hooves everywhere and sending water in all directions.

“SPIKEEEEE!”

“It’s okay, your hair actually looks pretty cool when it’s all black like that!”

“Spike, just....go home! Please, just go!”

Well, I guess that wraps it up.

I really did like her hair, though...

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So yeah, I ruined the date with my dumb fire breath. Why can’t I be a pony like Rarity? Being a dragon is just lame, and I don’t have any dragon friends. All I have are these ponies who don’t take me seriously and don’t trust me. I can’t even go back in my own house because I’m scared to tell Twilight about the date. I’m just standing outside in the dark, and I can hear a lot of girls laughing from inside. I forgot about the sleepover. That just makes this worse.

I take a deep breath and open the front door.

The whole house goes quiet and the ponies turn around to look at me.

“Oh, Spike! That was fast.” Twilight is the first one to pipe up. I clench my claws into fists.

“Shoot, you look lower than a snake’s behind!” Applejack can already tell that I’m not myself.

“Dude, you ok?” Rainbow Dash flies up to me and almost forgets to stop herself. Pinkie Pie doesn’t say anything. I think she knows that she would just make it worse. She can be too uppity sometimes.

“Oh dear...Spike, is everything alright?” Fluttershy finally hits the nail on the coffin. The sound of her fragile voice just makes me well up. I can’t hold it in, so I just break down and run upstairs to my bed.

“Be right back, girls.” I hear Twilight say. This is when she comes upstairs to sit down behind me. I try and pull the covers so that I’m hiding away from her, but that doesn’t stop her from rubbing her hoof along my side, “Spike, what happened?” she says in a whisper.

“I d-don’t....wanna t-talk about it...” my sides are heaving like I’m constantly choking on my words. It’s the truth; I really don’t want to talk about my date.

“You don’t need to bottle up your feelings.”

“S-she doesn’t l-l-like m-me an-nymore...s-she-”

“Shhhh.” Twilight cuts me off and keeps rubbing my ribs, “She still likes you.”

“N-n-nnn-no she doesn’t!”

“Why wouldn’t she like you?”

I’m about to answer her, but the door cracks open and light pours into the room.

“Yo, Twi.” It’s Rainbow Dash, “Do we need to leave, or...?”

“No, no. It’s fine. I’ll be out there in just a second.”

The door closes.

Twilight sighs.

I cry.

“Look...we’ll talk about this in the morning. Try to get some sleep, Spike.”

And she gets up to go party with her friends. It makes me feel really lonely again. I can’t stop thinking about how cool it’d be if I had a buddy that was a dragon like me. We could stay up late and hangout and talk about our favorite gems and-

“Well, well, well. Spikey Wikey seems to be having a bad night. How sad.”

I stop crying and freeze. My spine tingles because I know that voice. It’s still just as scary and evil as I remember. The only thing I can ask myself is, ‘Why me?’.

I hear the floorboards creak under his weight.

“Oh, I know you hear me. Don’t play coy with me.”

“W-what do you want?” I finally croak.

“What do I want? Why, I simply want to make sure you’re alright.”

“I’m fine.” I grit my teeth.

“You don’t have to lie to me, Spikey Wikey.”

“Look, I had a bad night.”

“Yes, I saw that. You had quite an explosive reaction with Rarity.” he starts chuckling. I’m not laughing, though.

Suddenly, he lays a claw on my back. I can’t help but flinch.

“I can help you, ya know.”

“...go away.” I say quietly.

“Now, now. Don’t be so quick to pull the trigger. I have a proposal.”

“No.” I’m not interested.

“Nopony has to know but you and me. Except..we’re not ponies, are we?”

I’m listening.

“We’re dragons, aren’t we? Yes, very much different from the others.”

“What do you want?” I ask again. It’s obvious that he came for something. He doesn’t care about me.

“Well, I don’t like to admit it, but...I’d become rather lonesome.”

“Huh?” It didn’t make sense. How could a god of chaos have feelings like that?

“Oh, yes. It’s very true. I was wondering if you would like to be friends.”

“Why me?”

“Spike, I know how you feel ostracized from the group. I could help you feel loved again.” he says this while he gives my spine a light squeeze.

“My friends love me.”

“Do they? Why aren’t they partying with you? Did they even invite you?”

I don’t say anything. This is when he gasps, “They didn’t? Oh, that’s horrendous!”

“I guess...”

“That’s not right at all! Friends should be sticking together and helping each other, much like how I’m doing right now.”

I finally sit up and look over at him. Discord. His red eyes look like they’re glowing in this dark room. He’s just coiled up on the floor like a snake. He looks a lot longer than he usually does. I don’t know if that’s true or if he’s making himself look like that. It doesn’t matter.

“What’s your stupid proposal?” I have to ask.

“Well, it’s hardly stupid. I just want to be friends! Would that be so bad?”

I think about this. I guess it can’t hurt. Besides, I’m pretty sure he’s been reformed now.

“Sure, I guess.” I’m not sure if I’m saying yes to his proposal or if I’m agreeing that this could be pretty bad.

“But now, you have to promise me that you won’t tell anypony.”

“Wait...why?” I don’t know why he wants this to be a secret. If he’s not evil anymore, why does it matter?

“Oh, you know how the ponies are. They always believe I’m up to no good.”

“Well...you kinda are.”

“Blah blah blah, that’s in the past!”

I sigh and scratch the back of my head.

“Okay.”

“Splendid!” he flies up and throws his arms in the air. Then he puts his claws on his hips, “Now, Spike. As your new friend, I’m completely willing to help you with your Rarity problem.”

“Really?” I sit up straighter and I feel my tail wagging like a dog.

“Of course. I am a god, after all. All I have to do is snap my fingers and that pony will fall head over hooves for you.”

“Oh, please please please! Could you really do that?” I’m trying not to get too excited, but it’s so hard to contain myself.

“Certainly! But, Spike...” He pauses and flies closer to me so that our snouts are almost touching, “...I need you to do a quick favor for me.”