In Spike We Trust

In Spike We Trust

• Cornflak

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The TV flickers and I can see two ponies standing on their hind hooves. They have a hoof wrapped around each other and they move in unison, almost like they’re the same pony. The last time I saw them, they were selling an automatic cider-making machine thing.

Everypony in Equestria knows them as the Flim Flam brothers. It looks like the two salesponies are selling something new this time.

“That’s right, folks!” Flam points to me. I think he’s the one with the mustache.

“You heard it here!” and that one’s Flim. He looks like he might be younger than the other one.

“For just five smackaroos, you can have your very own cone of our specially treated ice cream!”

“Treated with what, you might ask?”

“Flim, why don’t ya tell the folks at home how we do things around here?”

“Why, we take the healthiest, strongest cows in all of Equestria and put em’ to work!”

“No assembly lines here, no sir! Every cow, big and small, is given one-on-one care to ensure the best milk for your satisfaction!”

“That’s a hundred percent fat free satisfaction, ladies and gentlemen.”

“What a product, I say, what a product!”

“And who else to get the first batch than the bright-eyed ponies of Ponyville?”

“Oh, but dear brother, what’s the catch?”

“No catch!”

“But Flim, only five coins?”

“You said it yourself, brother!”

“No taxes?”

“No taxes!”

“Say, with such a great deal, Flim, I’d say the customers are robbing us!”

They both laugh.

“Why, Flam, a young colt’s smile is worth more than all the bags of money in Equestria!”

“Very true, dear brother!”

“So, if you happen to see us rolling through town...”

“Don’t be shy!”

“Come on by and say hi!”

“We’ll even give you a scoop on the house!”

“Hey, and don’t forget that every bit of the profit goes toward our up and coming carnival-”

ZAP!

The TV cuts to black and everything is quiet. I try to stand up without falling over. The shackles make my ankles red and sore. I scoot up to the bars that are keeping me from running away. They’re freezing cold when I grab onto them. The two guards ignore me and keep looking in the other direction.

“Hey, uhh...I’m kind of hungry.”

He just sniffs and focuses on the stone wall in front of him. I don’t know what else is down here because anything that isn’t lit by the torches is just hiding in the dark. I can’t hear anypony above us, either. I thought maybe I’d be able to hear life going on around me, but it’s just really quiet. I think maybe I’m starting to hear my own thoughts. I can’t remember how long I’ve been down here. At least they have a TV. They need to fix it, though. I think the guards left yesterday. I told them I was hungry a week ago. That’s when the TV broke, too. I was watching the Flim Flam brothers. I watched them again yesterday. They finally fixed the TV.

Oh, here comes the commercial again.

The TV flickers and I can see two ponies standing on their hind hooves. They have a hoof wrapped around each other and they move in unison, almost like they’re the same pony. The last time I saw them, they were selling the same thing that they’re selling now.

“That’s right, folks!” Flam points to me. I think he’s the one with the mustache.

“You heard it here!” and that one’s Flim. He looks like he might be younger than the other one.

“For just five smackaroos, you can have your very own cone of our specially treated ice cream!”

“Treated with what, you might ask?”

“Flim, why don’t ya tell the folks at home how we do things around here?”

“Why, we take the healthiest, strongest cows in all of Equestria and gut them like pigs!”

“Assembly lines keep things running smoothly! Every cow, big and small, is given the sharpest of knives to ensure the best meat for your satisfaction!”

“That’s a hundred percent boneless satisfaction, ladies and gentlemen.”

“What a product, I say, what a product!”

“And who else to get the first batch than the bright-eyed ponies of Ponyville?”

“Oh, but dear brother, what’s the catch?”

“No catch!”

“But Flim, only five coins?”

“You said it yourself, brother!”

“No taxes?”

“No taxes!”

“Say, with such a great deal, Flim, I’d say the customers are robbing us!”

They both laugh.

“Why, Flam, a young drake’s tears are worth more than all the bags of money in Equestria!”

“Very true, dear brother!”

“So, if you happen to see us rolling through town...”

“Don’t be shy!”

“Come on by and say hi!”

“We’ll even give you a scoop on the house!”

“Hey, and don’t forget that every bit of the profit goes toward our recently deceased Princess Celestia!”

ZAP!

That commercial was a little different from the last one. I think I’m losing count of how many days it’s been. They haven’t fed me yet. They probably want me to starve. Would they really want that? I didn’t know that the ponies could be so casually cruel. Maybe this is just what happens to bad ponies, and maybe nopony sees it because the bad ones are just kept down here in a dungeon cell. Everypony else just goes on with their lives. Wow...things really are this way. I always looked up to Celestia, but I was always afraid of her. I think I always knew that she had the power to be strict and...and...um...I can’t think of the word.

Ruthless!

Yeah, ruthless. That’s it.

Oh, here comes the commercial again.

The TV flickers and I can see two ponies standing on their hind hooves. They have a hoof wrapped around each other and they move in unison, almost like they’re the same pony. The last time I saw them, they were selling the same thing that they’re selling now.

“That’s right, folks!” Flam points to me. I think he’s the one with the mustache.

“You heard it here!” and that one’s Flim. He looks like he might be younger than the other one.

“For just five smackaroos, you can have nothing at all, I say, nothing but the skin on your flank!”

“Nothing at all, you might ask?”

“Flim, why don’t ya tell the folks at home how we do things around here?”

“Why, we take your money!”

“Your hard-earned dough keeps things running smoothly! Every coin, big and small, is taken for our satisfaction!”

“That’s a hundred percent shameless satisfaction, ladies and gentlemen.”

“What a scam, I say, what a scam!”

“And who else to get hoodwinked first than the gullible ponies of Ponyville?”

“Oh, but dear brother, what’s the catch?”

“No catch!”

“But Flim, no product for the customer?”

“You said it yourself, brother!”

“No effort?”

“No effort!”

“Say, with such a great plan, Flim, I’d say we’re robbing the customers!”

They both laugh.

“Why, Flam, money flows through the veins of every pony in Equestria!”

“Very true, dear brother!”

“So, if you happen to see us rolling through town...”

“Don’t be brash!”

“Give us your cash!”

“We’ll even take your life savings!”

“Hey, and don’t forget that every bit of the profit goes toward our pockets!”

ZAP!

That commercial was a little different from the last one.

“Spike?”

I turn my head to see who’s talking.

“Are you ok?”

That voice sounds like somepony I know.

“Are they feeding you?”

“Ma’am, we’ve been told to feed the prisoner in five minutes.” that’s one of the guards.

“How long has he been here?” she asks.

“An hour.”

What?

That can’t be right.

“Spike, can you hear me?” the purple pony pokes her head through the bars.

“Ma’am, he won’t speak to anypony.”

“Yes, I can hear you!” I scramble to stand up and run to where the bars are, “Twilight!”

“Spike, calm down...” she laughs a little. I almost don’t notice that I’m flailing to try and hug her through the narrow spaces between us, “Don’t worry, I’m here.”

“I wanna go home!!” I scream like I want somepony on the surface to hear me.

“It’s okay, just try to calm down.”

“B-But Celestia’s hurt!”

“Spike...”

“It’s my fault!”

“Listen-”

“No, no! It really is! I made a deal and I just wanted Rarity to like me, honest!”

“Spike, Celestia’s dead...she...”

“...what?”

“Yes.”

“No, she’s not...”

“It’s okay, Spike. Everypony’s very confused right now.”

“She’s the princess...”

“You were with her when it happened.”

“Is she allowed to die?”

“Tomorrow, a lot of ponies are going to ask you some questions. Just make sure you’re honest and we can hope for the best.”

“How did she die?”

“I brought some books about law and the royal court.”

“Court?”

“Have you been working on your stage fright?”

“Wait, slow down..”

“A lot of ponies are going to be watching you, but try not to worry.”

“Twilight, listen!”

“Yes, what?”

“What if I killed her?”

“Well...” she stops and looks down. We’ve been talking a lot with no breaks, so we both catch our breath. She doesn’t say anything for a long time. One of the guards coughs. My ankle starts to itch under the shackle, so I reach down and scratch it. My claws dig into my skin a little. I keep scratching there because it feels like there’s dried dirt stuck to my scales. I hear Twilight sniffing, but her hair is hiding her face. I think it’s finally real to her, that Equestria lost its mother. I’ve already cried about it. Now it just feels like a dream again. If it wasn’t for the blood trickling down my ankle and the pain from my claws, I’d still think this was a nightmare.

“Twilight?”

“She’s dead.”

“I know...but what if it’s my fault?”

“You said you killed her, Spike. I don’t know why you would...ever do something like this, but maybe it’s just a misunderstanding.”

“But I think it really is my fault.”

“What happened?”

“It’s...I don’t know...”

“You don’t know?”

“No, it’s just that bad stuff happens when I talk about it!”

“Talk about what?”

“I can’t! I tried to tell her, but now she’s not moving anymore, and I dunno if I’m supposed to talk about it because I made a promise, and I don’t want you to stop moving either, so I can’t say anything, but it’s all because I wanted Rarity to like me...and now I’m alone down here and everypony hates me, but I didn’t mean to-”

“Spike, that’s enough. You're cutting yourself.” Twilight makes everything quiet again. I can hear water dripping somewhere, and it echoes around us. I would have missed it if I’d kept running my mouth.

“I’m just sorry.” I almost can’t get the words out. My voice is weak now. My legs start to wobble and I sit down. I can’t look at Twilight anymore. I’ve told her as much as I can, but it’s enough for her to realize that I’m responsible for Celestia.

“Spike...I think you need to rest. The guards are coming with your dinner.”

“Are you leaving?”

“Just try to eat, read these books, and don’t think too much. You’re not yourself.”

“Do you think I did it?”

“Ugh...I don’t...know what to think...”

“When are you coming back?”

“The trial is being held tomorrow morning. You’ll see me then.”

“Don’t let them kill me.”

“Um...” Twilight shifts her weight.

“I mean it, okay?”

“I know you do. Just...be honest.” she forces a smile, “Nopony can hurt you right now.”

Great. She knows exactly how deep I am. I can’t make another deal out of this one. This is how I die, I guess. I watch Twilight leave and hope that maybe she’ll turn back around to give me one more smile. Even the gems they feed me don’t taste right. Everything is weird right now. She was talking to me like I’m crazy.

“Spikey Wikeyyyy, dear Spikey Spikey Wikeyyyyy. I trust that your attitude has finally softened by now?” that calm and smooth voice can be felt on the back of my neck. I’m done with his games. I don’t waste anymore time. I whirl around and punch him in the snout. He cries out and stumbles against the wall. He looks like he’s actually surprised, “Very violent tonight, I see.”

“Well, that makes two of us, you...lying snake!”

He snaps his fingers and poofs into a reclining position in the air.

“Now, now. I had nothing to do with that extravagant escapade upstairs, I can assure you.”

“Shut up! Celestia didn’t do anything to you!”

“Oh, right, because being imprisoned within a stone tomb is hardly anything.”

“That doesn’t mean you had to kill her!”

“I’ve already explained the situation. I am innocent tonight, thank you.”

“Stop lying!”

“That’s right. It’s frustrating, isn’t it?” he stops reclining and hovers near me. He narrows his eyes and clenches his talon and his paw, “To know the truth when nopony will listen. I’m sure you’re simply writhing within those scales.”

I take a step back.

“What do you mean? D-Don’t get too close! Guards, guards! It’s Discord! He-”

“Oh, stop. They’re upstairs, having an illustrious feast with no intentions of coming back down for quite some time.” he smiles and looks up at the ceiling, “It’s a wonder that they refuse to listen to Shining Armour, isn’t it? You’d expect a pony or two to stay and keep watch, hm?” and now he looks back down to me with his arms folded.

“What do you want?”

That makes him laugh for some reason.

“Why? Why do you always assume I’m here to eat you?”

“I didn’t-”

“Not literally, you silly drake.” he sighs, “I’m not your enemy in this convoluted fairy tale.”

“Then why did you kill-”

“I could tell you who murdered Princess Celestia, but it really is too priceless. I figured I’d let you take a stab at it, yourself.”

I don’t know if I can trust him. I think he’s trying to mess me up as much as he can. But if he’s out to get me, then why hasn’t he just finished me off?

“Look...Discord...”

He gets all giddy and clasps his paw with his talon.

“Oooooh, say my name again! It’s so adorable when you say it.”

I huff and place my claws on my hips.

“Just listen! I don’t trust you right now...”

He laughs really loudly.

“Of course not!” and he wipes a tear from his eye, “After all, why would you ever trust the spirit of chaos?”

“I dunno.” I get quiet and look at the wall, “I did for a little while.”

“Oh, don’t be so dramatic!” he flies over and wraps his body around me. His talon lightly scratches the bottom of my chin, and I’m scared that he’ll slit my throat if I even breathe, “I haven’t forgotten about our deal, Spike. I have to admit, you hurt my feelings when you told me to leave. I couldn’t help but remove that spell from your precious Rarity as punishment for your attitude.”

Oh. Well, I guess that makes sense. She started acting differently when he left.

“Exactly. But let’s be honest with one another. You’ve suffered enough, so I’ll continue with this false love affair between you two.” he starts to loosen his grip around me, “However, I haven’t told a single lie tonight. I won’t help you in uncovering the true culprit behind poor Celestia’s demise. That’s up to you.”

When he finally lets me go, he lounges on a hammock that he spawns in the middle of the cell. I don’t understand why he keeps toying with me.

“Because it’s fun. A little chaos is good for the soul, dear Spike. But I believe that you can fight your own battle this time. Frankly, I’d like to see you trump this third party who’s framed you. He seems to think that he's going to get away with what he's done, and I have to say that I’m not impressed. Just sloppy work on his part; very sloppy.”

He keeps putting the blame on this third party, whoever that is. But I guess I don’t have a choice but to hope he’s telling the truth.

“Can I just ask one thing?” I finally say out loud.

“Of course, go right ahead.”

“Well...why did you want me to steal the Elements? I don’t think I ever asked.”

Discord clears his throat and sighs, “Oh, Spike. It was merely a safety precaution. You couldn’t trust me and I couldn’t trust you. I can’t simply make ponies fall in love with you if there’s always a chance that you’ll squeal and get me in trouble, can I?”

“I dunno...”

“Come, now. You’ve already tried to rat me out multiple times. But with the Elements tucked away, it won’t matter, and that’s all it is. Safety first.” he can’t let that go without winking.

“Well...”

“And now I can help you, and you can help...well...I suppose you’ve already helped me win my freedom.”

“But the Elements are still in my closet. I can just tell everypony where they are.”

“You see, that would definitely put me in my place, but you’ll find that it won’t help anypony. I’ll be sealed away, you’ll take the blame for stealing the Elements of Harmony, and you’ll be put to death. Even worse, Celestia’s murderer will run free.”

“Why can’t you just hide the Elements from me? They’re pretty much yours now.”

“You seem to be forgetting that dreadful spell that Celestia placed on the chest. My touch has no influence on those precious gems.”

This is a lot to take in, and I guess some of it is starting to make sense. On the bright side, it was starting to take my mind off of the trial tomorrow until just now. I keep imagining getting up in front of all those ponies and trying to clear my name. Maybe I could just pin everything on Discord.

“You wouldn’t!” he gasps in a fake way.

He’s right. It wouldn’t do anything. If everypony finds out that I was even involved with Discord, they might think I killed Celestia. But Discord said he’s innocent too. And if he’s telling the truth, then there’s somepony who wanted Celestia dead, and maybe I was just at the wrong place.

“Now you’re getting it.” he smiles and gives me an approving nod.

“Am I going crazy?” I have to ask.

Discord just chuckles, “Not at all.”

“Because that TV played some really weird stuff...”

“Ah, yes. You didn’t find that humorous?”

Not really, if I have to be honest. I found it damn terrifying.

Discord shrugs.

“Wouldn't hurt to lighten up.” he scoots over and pats the spot next to him, “Plenty of room on the hammock, you know.”

I hesitate.

“Well, don’t hesitate!” he playfully raises his voice, “You’ve got a long day tomorrow and you need to rest, after all.”

“I’m scared...” talking about tomorrow.

“Yes, yes, it’s to be expected.”

I keep standing here until I feel my throat tighten up.

“Now, now. No tears. Stop that crying.”

I slowly walk up to the hammock and try to avoid his eyes. After everything he’s told me tonight, I still don’t know why he’s being so nice. Before I know what I’ve just done, I find myself lying with my back to him. He’s already lain his red tail over my stomach.

It’s...kind of nice.

I don’t feel so stressed right now.

The hammock starts rocking back and forth.

Discord chooses this time to hum a quiet song.

My eyelids feel heavy.

I feel like I’m floating through the air with...with this spirit of chaos who...trusts me. He trusts me and nopony else does. Not even Twilight.

I think he’s my only friend right now. Or maybe he’s a really clever enemy.

Is this brainwashing or just friendship?

“Stop thinking so loudly.”