In Spike We Trust

In Spike We Trust

• Cornflak

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At first, I was scared about everything. When we actually got into the courtroom, I was still pretty scared. My feet felt cold and I was out of breath. Luna was the judge today and she wasn’t looking really happy to see me. When she announced my name and told everypony why we were all here, I was at my worst. Every heartbeat shook my whole body, no matter how hard I tried to keep still. When they called me to the stand, I felt like I was about to be shot and killed without a trial. I looked into the crowd and searched for friendly faces. I found Twilight. I remember how she gave me this kind of fake wave and a smile to match it. She’d lost all hope before I even walked in. But when the judge started talking about official courtroom stuff, I couldn’t help but daydream.

That’s pretty much where I am right now. I’m thinking about my night in the dungeon with Discord. He was gone when I woke up. There wasn’t a hammock, either. I mean, having him next to me was pretty nice while it lasted, but I’m not a huge fan of waking up on a hard stone floor. He could’ve woken me up or something, I dunno. I’m just juggling all these thoughts in my head so I can forget about what’s really happening. Every now and then, I answer a question, but then the lawyer griffon guy looks over his glasses and keeps talking. He's kind of weird because he likes to walk on his hind legs the whole time. It’s not like you’re missing anything if I skip over this part.

A lot of it just sounds like this:

“And you’re sure you had no motive to harm our princess?”

“Uh, yeah.”

“So you did it in cold blood, yes?”

“N-no.”

“So you did have a motive, mhm?”

“...no.”

“Are you tellin’ these fine citizens that you don’t know?”

“No, no! I mean...”

“Suppose, if you will, that maybe it was...all a blur.” he waves his talons around like he’s talking to a baby.

“But it was.”

“Hush now, this here’s a hypothetical!”

I don’t have a choice but to groan and slump in my seat. The courtroom isn’t what I expected. It looks more like a giant stadium where gladiators would fight or something. There’s a really shiny microphone on the stand in front of me so that everypony can hear my voice quiver.

“If you have no memory of the account, then we can assume that you lashed out at the princess in a bloody rage, yes?”

“No, sir...”

“Shoot, boy, you expectin’ to keep avoidin’ the issue at hand, here?”

“No...”

The griffon scoffs and looks around for somepony to join him.

Then he goes back to me and sighs.

“Yep, I know you little dragons up and down, mhm. You boys ain’t nothin’ but trouble makers, yeah? I seen a bunch of you flyin’ around villages and shootin’ the place up in fire!” he illustrates the scene with his talons again.

“I didn’t...”

“Huh? C’mon, now, use that there mic, son!”

I look down a little and remember that maybe nopony can hear me. Nopony can defend me. Nopony trusts me, probably. I can tell that I really am alone in this fight. I bet Discord’s hiding in a corner above us, eating popcorn and snickering.

I tap the microphone two times and wait for the pounding echoes to die down before I lean forward.

“I-I’m not like that.” and the whole place is filled with the sound of my trembling words.

As soon as I say this, I can hear a lot of ponies talking around me. I can’t make out any of it.

“Oh, hogwash! I done read up on that little hoarding episode of yours. It wouldn’t strike me as odd if ya wanted to hoard that crown for yerself!”

“I didn’t! Honest! I don’t wanna hurt anypony!” I cry into the microphone for somepony to hear me and realize that this is all a big error.

“Hmm. Yeah, you sure don’t look the type, do ya?”

I think his glasses are finally starting to help those beady eyes.

“But, still...we can’t let a book’s cover deceive us! Perhaps the only reason you even got close to the princess was by lookin’ all innocent, mhm?”

I don’t wait very long to respond this time. I’m getting interested.

“She wanted to see me. I didn’t have a choice...”

“That so, huh?”

“You can ask Twilight.” I point up to where I can barely see her purple form in the audience, “I didn’t even wanna go.”

“Oh? And why would you ever try and avoid the princess, hm?”

“Well...” I let my sentence hang there and float around the courtroom.

“You had somethin’ to hide, didn’t ya? Mhm, you wanna share that with the court?”

C’mon, think of something believable.

“Um...lazy...”

“Say what?”

“I was tired. You can ask Twilight.” I point again.

The griffon waves like he’s trying to shoo away the audience.

“Look, we’re gonna keep this here questioning ‘tween you and me. That sound like somethin’ you can agree with it?”

“Well, no...not really.” some of the ponies laugh at that. It feels like a small victory to me, but the griffon stands his ground.

“I feel like you think this whole thing’s just one big skinny dip in the pond.”

“Am I allowed to ask what that means?”

“Yer pullin’ Equestria’s collective leg, boy!”

“I’m...just telling the truth.”

“Then show some pride, son! Tell it like it’s written in stone! Yer just sittin’ there, all hunched over like a dying dog!”

“...sorry?”

I really can’t think of anything else to tell this guy. Isn’t my lawyer supposed to yell at the griffon and help me out or something?

Do I have a lawyer?

I look over on the side of the room where my guy is supposed to be sitting. There’s just a little sign on the table that reads: BACK IN 10 MIN.

“Yer not gonna be much help to us, are ya?” the griffon finally understands the situation, “Welp, get on down. I’m through with ya.”

And so I hop out of my seat and make my way to that table with the sign on it.

“He’s lying.”

“Why is he acting like that?”

“He should get the noose.”

“He’s just a kid!”

“It’s like he doesn’t care.”

“Look at him.”

“I bet he’s scared shitless.”

“Don’t point!”

“What’s he gonna do?”

“I thought he was a nice dragon.”

“There are no nice dragons.”

Yeah, these are all things that I can hear around me. I recognize some of them and it makes my heart feel heavy. No matter what I said on that stand, I was bound to disappoint somepony. I can’t think about it too much, though. Princess Luna’s looking right at me. She’s the one that gets to choose what happens to me.

“Alright, now, alright.” the griffon paces back and forth, “Before I let go of the reins on this here bighorn, I’d like to call up a very special witness.”

There’s more whispering from the crowd. The griffon whirls around and bows his head to Luna.

“If...that’s to yer liking, madame.”

The princess arches a brow and her eyes look down at the griffon, but her head stays level and doesn’t move.

“I will allow it.”

Her booming voice makes me flinch and blink by accident. I don’t understand the point in being so loud. If she’s trying to scare everypony, she could’ve done that without even opening her mouth.

“Good, good.” the griffon grins widely and turns to the double doors of the courtroom, “Alright, bring in that devilishly handsome bloody blue eyes!” he says this before wheezing.

Everypony turns and watches the doors creak open. We all have to squint because of the blinding light that’s pouring into the room. In the center of the glowing brightness is a shadow. If I couldn’t smell his money from here, I would’ve thought it was a god; maybe somepony more mighty than Celestia ever was.

But it’s just Prince Blueblood.

He marches down the aisle with his nose lifted higher than even Princess Luna’s. His golden locks tell me that he’s spent all morning preparing for this moment. He flashes a smile and his reflective teeth just tell me the same thing that his hair told me. His eyes look like they contain an ocean in each one. They look at me and his brows bounce up and down.

This is when I turn back to face the front and cross my arms.

“Now, the good prince, here...” the Griffon guides him to the stand, “...he tells me that he’s got some juicy info regardin’ our murder mystery. That right, blue eyes?”

The unicorn rises to the stand and carefully rests on the seat.

“Mmm, quite.” he smirks after saying that. I think I hear somepony in the audience fainting.

“Sweet, sweet, sweet.” the griffon says quickly, “Now, tell us all where you were when all this hustle and bustle took place.”

Blueblood’s lazy eyes roll over to me, then they roll back to a corner in the ceiling.

He shrugs.

“In the throne room.”

“No, he wasn’t!!” I stand up and scream so everypony can hear me.

“Whatcha say?” the griffon turns to me. His wings are getting ruffled now.

“I said he wasn’t there!”

“Is that the truth, now?”

“Yeah! He wasn’t even at the meeting right before the...the-the accident! He wasn’t there!”

“Do ya have evidence?” the griffon smiles with his eyes open really wide. He already knows the answer. I look around in a really desperate way to find somepony who can help me. I end up looking at Luna and then I point.

“Her!! Just ask her!! She was there!” all of the ponies in the audience are starting to boo at me, “No, really! There was this really old pony and he read a big list of names that-”

“Son, that’ll be enough, now!” the griffon cuts me off and glares at me, “You done had yer chance to show off your bells and whistles. Right now, yer just stirring up the hive.”

Everypony’s still booing as I sink into my chair. Prince Blueblood’s looking up at the audience members and smirking again.

“Mmm, it’s precious.”

“Wuzzat?” the griffon spins back to the prince.

“The good citizens of Canterlot seem unanimous in their decision.”

“I agree, Mr. Blue. I say, I agree.” the griffon looks over at me, “I’d say he’s fit for a little more time with the rats.”

“Mmm, hardly.” the lawyer laughs at that, but I’m still watching Blueblood, “For treason, the penalty is death...unfortunately.”

The griffon freezes in place. Some ponies have already gasped at this point. Some are yelling that I’m too young. Others are begging for me to die. To die...

I look down at the floor. I’m feeling light-headed. I don’t know what it’s like to die. I’m not ready for it. I’m really not.

“Now, uhh...Prince Blueblood, I do think that’s a bit heavy for the little guy.” the griffon might be snapping back to reality. Bad timing, though.

The prince shrugs and looks off at some other part of the ceiling.

“That’s a shame. He really should have considered the consequences first.”

“I didn’t do it!!” I can’t help but scream again.

“It’s pointless to lie, you fool.” Blueblood keeps calm and smiles, “I remember the scene quite vividly. You were rather upset about something the princess had said. You had become practically barbaric. But, of course, you wouldn’t recall that...would you?”

I can’t say anything else. I really don’t remember what happened. I just want somepony to be on my side and believe me.

"Mr. Spike! I got it!"

I hear a faint voice coming from outside. I almost ignore it, but it sounds familiar.

The courtroom doors burst open, so I turn around to see if it’s who I think it is.

Featherweight’s flying down the aisle with two royal guards galloping after him.

“Mr. Spike, look!” he throws a hoof in the air and I can see a photo, “I knew I took a picture! I just couldn’t find it, but-”

He’s cut short when the royal guards tackle him to the ground in a dog pile. Everypony’s going nuts right now.

“Enough!”

Princess Luna’s voice solves the problem of the noise.

“Ahem.” it sounds like she’s going to hold off on the booming words now, “I will see that photograph, please.”

One of the guards scrambles to take the picture in their mouth and carry it to the judge’s bench. The princess uses her magic to levitate the picture in front of her face for a better view.

“Interesting.”

“What is it?” the griffon steps forward. Prince Blueblood is already stepping down and heading for the back exit.

Luna clears her throat again.

“The accused is hereby deemed innocent.” her eyes keep scanning the picture left and right. A lot of the audience members are screaming bad words at her, “Court is adjourned.”

And the gavel hits the bench.

The photo is set aside and Luna rises from her seat to make another announcement.

“Now, if you wish to join me, I must bury my sister.”

I almost laugh. I dunno why. I feel terrible for thinking it’s funny. Maybe it’s just the way it came out of nowhere, but I really think I’m just really relieved. I look over at Featherweight. He’s trying to pick himself up from the fall. I can’t control myself. I leap over my little table and run past a bunch of random ponies until I’m close enough to tackle Featherweight in a really tight hug. The little guy just can’t even breathe without being knocked down.

I have to laugh.

It’s the first time in a while that I’ve actually felt like everything’s okay.

____________________________________________________

At the funeral, I’m still feeling giddy. Again, don’t hold it against me. I’m just super excited about not dying. I think this to myself as I watch Celestia’s casket being lowered into the ground. That could’ve been me. It’s not even bad weather outside. It’s about lunchtime and everything’s kind of warm with a cool breeze. I look next to me at Featherweight. He’s not crying, either. I don’t think he understands what’s happening, though. Maybe it’ll hit him in a few months. Until then, I’m just gonna keep smiling.

When we’re both walking away from the grave, Featherweight asks me if I wanna see the picture. I don’t even have to answer. I just snatch it from him and look all over it. I see myself being knocked back. I’m like...half-way off the ground in this picture. The window’s in the process of being broken, which means...yeah, something’s flying through the window. It’s small. It has wings, but it’s just a blur. Oh, wait. There’s another blur with wings. It actually looks kind of blue. A blue streak with wings. It’s headed right for Celestia, who’s still smiling down at me. Somehow, I don’t think she saw it coming.

Well, it proves that I was just in the middle of everything.

“Is it good?” Featherweight pipes up. I chuckle and pat him on the head.

“Yeah, you did really good. Thanks a lot. I mean that.”

His face scrunches up a little.

“Hey, I’m not giving it to you!” and he hovers quick enough to swipe the photo from my claws.

“No, I just meant...” I cut myself off and sigh. It doesn’t matter. I don’t have any worries right now. I can smile and not feel guilty about it.

Yeah.

That would be nice, wouldn’t it?

But this is the moment when something drops in front of us. It hits the ground with a dull thud and we both jump back.

“Mr. Spike, what is that?”

I edge closer and look into the hole that it made in the grass. When the cloud of dirt starts to fade away, I can make out something golden and shiny.

“Is that the crown, Mr. Spike?”

Yeah, it’s Celestia’s one and only crown. My first instinct is to just keep walking. I need to ignore it. If anypony sees me with Celestia’s crown, it’s back to the dungeon. C’mon, Spike...leave it alone...

Ugh.

I look up at the blue sky and the clouds that are crawling by.

And then I focus back on this crown at my feet.

I shake my head.

It all just feels like a really bad joke.