The State of the Art

Translation by Bendy Jovia. 1772 Anno Diarchem. Original document from Diaries and Memoirs and Dialogues of Princess Celestia. Written 51 Before Diarchy.

T’was one sunny day of early spring. I had went to the market place and there I met Star Crater.

Star Crater was as usual going about his business of biting like a horse-fly. He bit all those who thought they knew the truth and proclaimed such. Politicians and unicorn mages as well as sages and traders.

He saw me and I went to him. And he welcomed me for my sister and I were his faithful and trusted students.

We had a dialogue thus.

Star Crater. Good day Celeste my student.

I. Good day Star Crater.

Star Crater. How fare thou?

I. I fare well thank thee. Who are you out biting today dear teacher?

Star Crater. Oh this morning I met a trader who was convinced that she knew the meaning of good and evil.

I. Do tell what did she say?

Star Crater. She said that what was good is what is and how things are. That things are how they are and that is good. That pegasi be warriors and unicorns be scholars and heppos be farmers and traders. That war and famine and sickness is evil.

I. Do tell what did you reply?

Star Crater. I replied that I had a student who was a scholar yet had wings and that I had a friend who was a trader yet had a horn. I then said that sometimes war is very necessary and that sickness and famine lie outside of ponies hooves.

I. Did she have a reply to that?

Star Crater. Indeed she did. But all that ever got her was a deeper hole. I merely handed her a spade and told her where to dig.

I. Thou art a good conversationalist.

Star Crater. Thank you. Actually I have a thing I would like to discuss.

I. I have time to talk.

Star Crater. You and I are both good at magic are we not?

I. Yes. My dear sister too. Although I guess we are both more capable than thou dear teacher.

Star Crater. I am a unicorn and magic is my tribes birthright. You were once unicorns too.

I. Aye.

Star Crater. We speak of magic and perform magic with ease and grace do we not?

I. That is correct.

Star Crater. Now. I conjecture that it is not in fact only unicorns who posess magic.

I. I do not understand nor agree.

Star Crater. Have thou seen the birds celeste?

I. I do not normally look at birds teacher. I fail to see what that has to do with magic.

Star Crater. Have thou seen that birds have little claws for hanging on to branches?

I. Yes.

Star Crater. And that birds of prey grip their prey in their claws and hold it fast?

I. Yes I have seen birds of prey.

Star Crater. Have you seen a mother cat? A mother cat will carry her young with her mouth. Quite gently.

I. I have seen so.

Star Crater. Now. Ponies are more akin to cats than they are birds are they not?

I. Well. Pegasi have wings and do fly but thou did not talk about the wings of birds thou asked about their talons. Ponies are not akin to birds in that they do not have talons.

Star Crater. So dearest celeste. How does thou hold a stylus?

I. I wield a stylus with my magics.

Star Crater. Yes. How does thou hold papyrus?

I. With my hoof.

Star Crater. So we ponies are unlike the birds in that we do not have talons. But we are like the birds in that we can hold objects with our hooves like a bird holds with talons. Is this not curious?

I. It is indeed curious.

Star Crater. So now that we have established a curious property of thine hooves we may see if it applies otherwise. Have thou seen a merchant load a cart with produce?

I. I have.

Star Crater. How does a merchant go about that?

I. She takes items of produce with her hooves and put them in the cart.

Star Crater. Indeed. Yet one also see merchants carry items in their teeth does one not?

I. That is true.

Star Crater. When thou said you held your stylus. Thou said it was held with magic.

I. Yes.

Star Crater. The hoof is very different from the talons of a bird. Is it not?

I. Indeed it is.

Star Crater. Now if one looks at the talons of a bird they have claws and digits. The digits grasp around the prey and the claws skewer into the flesh. This prevents the prey from escaping the birds grasp.

I. That is morbid but true.

Star Crater. Could a talon not also hold papyrus?

I. I suppose it could.

Star Crater. The hoof is much unlike the talon in shape is it not?

I. It is.

Star Crater. How so?

I. It has neither digits nor claws with which to hold.

Star Crater: So how does a hoof hold things?

I. I confess that is unknown to me.

Star Crater. Then let me give you the answer. By magic.

I. Oh. Yes that does make sense.

Star Crater. Every pony has hooves that can hold things despite not having digits and claws for grasping. Thus the only cause of holding must be magic.

I. That must indeed be true.

Star Crater. The gift of the unicorns lie in greater and further reaching magic. But all ponies have magic.

I. You are most wise my dear teacher.

Star Crater. Now we must at a convenient time tell your sister. This is important wisdom.

I. Aye. I will tell her to seek you when I meet her again.