The State of the Art

From the perspective of an ant, the world is an interesting place. One might come wandering along the pheromone trail when suddenly nearby a lions paw treads down into the underbrush. Then on the alternating step, a dragons foot, and then when you suspect it is over you nearly get wafted away by a bunch of feathers.

It is not often that the chaos spirit has appointments, but there is one (1) being in this world who is able to make him commit to predictable future actions. The only one he fears.

With a hop, a skip and a jump, Discord clears a fallen oak and arrives in a meadow.

The forest is old. Mortals have started cutting into some of the smaller ones --- nearer the plains where the ponyfolk live --- but they will never master such grand nature as this. It is truly the old forest.

In the meadow is a single large tree, an oak so old as the forest itself. Underneath it is a cave. The magic in the air sings to Discords senses like faint whispers. Where he steps the blades of grass turn random colours of the rainbow and snails seem to sprout from the soil.

She knows he is there. Discord knows she knows, not that a chaos spirit has any business hiding --- there isn’t an opponent he cannot outwit --- but he takes comfort in the awkward game of introduction-chicken.

“Good Evening,” --- it is high noon --- “are you just gonna stay holed up like that all day?”

A rumble can be heard underneath the oak. From the entrance to the cave slides an enormous snake-like being. The head of a snake -- only a wide as a cider keg -- torso like an elephant and double the arms of a mountain troll, yet still endowed with a feminine grace. Her tail extends deep into the cave even as she slithers out from under the shade of the tree.

“Discord, my friend. How pleasant it is to see you. And on time.”

“Sheviper, the pleasure is all mine.”

The size difference is staggering --- not that it matters to a chaos spirit who changes size and shape like the weather in spring --- and Sheviper rests herself down on her belly and elbows.

“Well?”

She remains silent, smiling.

“Look; you called me here, and seeing as you haven’t exactly made preparations for a picnic, I assume you want something from me, or have something I want so I will be in your debt.”

“I have grand news.”

“Prithee?”

“My children speak of another entity appearing. A powerful one like you or I. It seems we might have another peer in this world.”

Discord takes a seat in the thin air. “Oh. Well that is news.”

Sheviper perks up and scans the grass some distance away. With elegance and quiet that should be beyond her huge form she moves into position; and with a lightning quick swipe catches a rabbit.

“So what about this peer of ours?”

Sheviper slithers back to conversational distance. He notices that her entire length has left the cave.

“I know of their existence precisely because they explicitly told my children to inform me of their presence.”

“Oh. What do you chalk that sort of thing up to? Mind reading?”

“I don’t know ---” with a twist of two fingers she kills the rabbit “--- my children are only most places, not everywhere. And our peer is elusive.”

“So you want me to go and stalk them out?”

“I would appreciate it. You know how I am against travel,” she says and swallows the dead rabbit whole.

“You will owe me a boon, Sheviper, and I will collect it at one point.”

“Agreed.”

Discord disappears with an audible plop and leaves behind bubbles.

In another forest, halfway across the world, the snow is falling, in the midnight.

Were he mortal, Discord would shiver with the cold. Instead he is enveloped in magenta luminescence.

It is dark and he wants to make himself noticed, more so than usual.

The thing about being an avatar of chaos is that the unlikely is bound to happen, not just in the edge case, but as a matter of course. Discord knows he is in the right spot, exactly because he had no idea where he jumped to, when he departed from a sunny meadow.

A magenta gleam of reflection is briefly visible in between the trees.

Discord does not call out. There isn’t a need to; he know he is seen and he knows that the observer knows that he has seen the observer.

From the darkness, a long and slender claw emerges. The talons are long, straight and blunt and the paw is clad in black scales. The limb it is attached to has long, greasy, blue fur that hangs like the leaves of a willow.

It is a foreleg. Another one, similar but opposing treads next to the first. There is a feline grace to the display.

The reflection was cast by a white, almost spherical orb, polished to high shine. It only occurs to Discord that it is indeed a head, when it smiles with more razor sharp teeth than a middle sized family. There are no features other than that mouth. The neck is like a giraffes, but held low and clad in the same dirty blue fur.

“Curious.” They both say in lockstep. It’s voice is smooth and melodious.

“I suspect introductions are in order,” It says.

Discord stares at the sickly looking creature, half again as large as he.

“You are Discord, Spirit of Chaos, bringer of mirth.”

“Oh, naturally you know that. I do wear a nametag.”

Scrape twists his neck down and another claw from a previously hidden hind-leg scratches it.

“How dull," drawls Discord, "so you go around doing what, exactly?”.

“I learn.”

“I do as pleases me.”

“So do I --- and let me tell you --- I do not enjoy your company half as much as my own. I am here ---”

“Because the Mother sent you. I know.”

“--- so I can politely ask you to stop finishing my sentences --- hilarious as it may be --- and tell me what I want to know, which I know for a fact that you know that I know you know and that you do in fact know; you know?”

“... I know what you want to know, yes. I also know that what you need to know is not that.”

“I don’t compose, I play by ear. I am stronger and older than you, and I can make you talk if I want to. The fact that I don’t need your cooperation should incline you to cooperate to avoid the consequences. You know this.”

“I want no enmity with neither you nor Sheviper. I wish to trade on occasion when we have comparative advantages, but also mostly to be left alone.”

“You are unpleasant, but at least you aren’t unpleasant. Have a nice summer.”

And with that remark, Discord’s form transforms into a straw doll in his likeness. Pi seconds later it spontaneously combusts.

“A chaos spirit. Sure gives me a run for my money. Well now I was in the process of deciding how to eat you.”

Scrape turns back towards his victim.