My Dirty Pony: Friendship with Benefits is Magic

  One afternoon, just a couple of days after the big adventure in Canterlot, Spike noticed he was shaking from the inside out, his teeth were chattering. This wasn't because he was afraid of something, it was because he was hard on. He felt like going to bed with one of his friends. Fluttershy would be perfect for the night, since she's a quiet sort of gal. Really, it would be quite a bore if he hadn't went to bed with his crush, Rarity. Ooh, what fun they would have, he would make love with her passionately, doing her with all his might. If he was in bed with Rainbow Dash, he'd declare himself to be 20% cooler. Fortunately, Twilight Sparkle came into the library. she saw Spike quivering about. "Are you okay, Spike?" she asked. "Yeah, I just feel so strange," answered Spike, "It's like my penis has a mind of it's own." When Twilight heard this, she gave her a condom. "Don't worry," soothed Twilight, "There's a way to fix that." Upon turning around, she added to her sentence, in a saucier manner, "And I don't need magic to do it."

   It wasn't long before a brand new game got all the popularity in Ponyville. It was called "the Pounder". To begin, Twilight got into her most erotic pose; bending down with flank raised high into the air. This position is most useful whenever she feels the urge to cut the cheese. Spike went in and gave a little bounce up and down, and it soon got a bit faster. If Twilight would've known he wanted to do something as fun as this, why, she'd paint a red target on her butt. Spike grabbed hold of her horn and polished it with his claws as fast as he could. Sparks of magic flew straight out right away making a twinkling noise. Twilight's cooter started winking at the moment as she groaned in pleasure until Spike's condom filled up with a splash. It got full very quickly after the great hot ejection until his coin purse started getting wet. Soon, Spike found himself floating on a lake filled with glistening wang syrup. When Twilight saw that HIS got pumped up a bit, she told him that they weren't done yet.

   First, Twilight queefed on Rarity's face to let her toss a ball of unicorn poo-poo over her sister, Sweetie Belle, making HER splash a bit of vomit over Tigger. He didn't know what was going on, but laughed and decided to go with it. In retaliation, he ran off roaring, "I kill kids, I kill moms, I kill dads, I kill friends, I kill strangers, I kill lots of people, I kill Terrorists, I kill Communists, I kill ponies, I kill griffons, I kill you, I kill me, I kill grandparents, I kill teachers, AND, most importantly, I kill pineapples." (The awful thing was that it's possible that I encouraged Disney to buy hasbro at this point.) Second, Spike made a little pool using his own beautiful golden urine. The blissful warmth made up for it's yucky odor. And finally, third, Spike shouted as loud as he could, "Oh, Twilight! I need you! I need your coin purse!" Twilight had no reason to argue. "I'm in position, Spike," said Twilight, "You ready?" "YES!" Spike screamed, "COME ON!" He was ready to go for the kill. As a result, They both started french kissing followed by a bit of rubbing on that part of her that's capable of great whoopee fun even though it was rubbed a little too much. There was only on word to describe it: PANDEMONIUM.