In The Name of Science

In the Name of ScienceChapter Seven: The Science of Family Ties     It all happened so fast.     Last thing I remember,  I was caught in between a rock, a hard place, and the unpleasant end of a rusty knife. Next thing I know, poof! I'm outside with an old dude that had just saved my tail from said rusty knife. Not only that, I had just accepted an invitation to some kind of "family" as well. I didn't even know a single thing about it.     I looked back to the shack I had come from. It was merely a single square box made from a bunch of battered old two by fours and held together with some twine, paste, and a whole lot of hope. What Emerald Coast said must have been true; he really was poor. Not in the "living in Skid Row and eating ramen from a styrofoam cup" way, but in the "not a goddamn penny to their name" way.     It was barely morning in the wide wide world of Equestria when I emerged. The silvery moon that had witnessed me steal a diamond the night before was merely a sliver of light barely peeking out from behind the western horizon. In turn, the sun was it's sibling's mirror, being only an orange glint of light in the east. These were the precious few minutes where neither celestial body had total control of the sky. The warm and cheery colors of the day mixed and melded with the cool and dark colors of the night, creating the wondrously deep shade of purple that accompanied the twilight.      Today was a good day to be me.     Normally, I wasn't much of a morning person. But hey, I didn't normally live in Equestria either. Despite that heart-pounding near-torture experience, I felt fan-freaking-tastic. I was alive an unscathed, what more could a guy ask for?     'Maybe a smoke.' I thought, bending over and fishing the smoldering remains of my cigarette out of the grass. I had only smoked a few puffs of that last one before it fell out of my mouth as I gaped in awe. What? I like nature. I tried my damnedest not to cough and hack, but it was likely going to take some time before I could even do that.     "You know son, smoking's quite bad for your lungs." the old guy pitched in. I shot an annoyed look his way. This stallion was a bit thin and frail-looking. A stiff breeze could have probably knocked him over. He likely wasn't always like that; I could see his ribs poking out from his side like a wild dog. His fur must have been a cool color back in the day, it was a deep sapphire shade of blue, but now the color was sullied with a film of dirt that only came from weeks without a bath. He looked like a hobo with his raggedy brown mane that he had to sweep out of his face every once in a while.     "Thank you, sir, I had no idea about that." I drawled, letting off a wispy cloud of smoke.  "Please regale me with more of your wisdom."     He nickered exactly like an Earth horse would. Still not gonna get used to that. "Alright alright, no need to get touchy. To each his own, as the saying goes."     "So, grandpa, what's your name?" I asked, extending him a hand. "I'm Silus White."     He eyed my rusty orange hand and then tentatively took it in his own. "Royal Blue, pleased to meet you. And I'm nopony's grandfather. I never had any foals."     "Eh," I shrugged "Neither have I. Not everyone is up for the whole parenthood thing, am I right? So, uh, thanks for...you know, saving my ass back there." That made TWO ponies that I was indebted to in just twenty four hours. This was Equestria for pete's sake! I shouldn't have had any brushes with death at all, much less twice in one day. I've been mugged at gunpoint before, don't get me wrong. You can hardly live your life in NYC without meeting someone who wanted the paper and plastic in your wallet at least once, but that was way different from being tied to a table and almost tortured.     "Nonsense, colt, there's no need to give thanks." Royal said merrily, slapping me lightly on the shoulder. I like the way he talked, always so happy! "You're part of The Family now, and we aren't so quick to gut our own."     Oh yeah, that. "About this whole "family" thing..." I said awkwardly, breaking eye contact to stare down at the grass. "I didn't think you knew me well enough to call me some kind of kin."     The old guy chuckled, which ended in a terrible dry wheeze and a cough. Was this stallion sick? "We aren't exactly--" he coughed again "--a family in the blood or the friendship sense, the name is purely metaphorical."     When is a family not a family? I didn't have a clue, but it really piqued my intrest. "So, I'm like, part of a group then?"     "You catch on quick, my boy." He flashed me a toothy grin "We're, uh--oh what's the word I'm looking for?-- I suppose "guild" would be the best word to use. The Family is the only existing thieves' guild in Equestria. We take from the rich, give to the poor, and leave a little cut for ourselves."     Thieves... Of all the things that a group of ponies could dedicated themselves to, I just HAD to join the one that was all about something I swore that I'd do only once in my life. Why couldn't it be the Les Paul fan club? I'm a musician, not a burglar!     I wasn't like these guys. I didn't want to be a thief. That's not how I should make my brand new start. Being all Robin Hood-ey and stuff was a nice sentiment and all, but it's not honest work! After all, Rarity was hardly rich. She had one diamond. One! She wasn't someone that I would say was rolling in piles of mula. Then again, you could apparently dig three feet under the ground and strike it rich in this world. Then again again, there was a scarcity of gems these days. I knew that she only had one...     But I still stole from her anyhow. No... no, I couldn't think like that. It was not my choice to make. It was Pi's; he made me do this. If not for his obsession with science, I would not be in this mess. Though, I would still be stuck in New York without him. Gah, I hated the grayness of it all. No black, no white, just somewhere in the middle. There was no clear-cut right or wrong in this situation, and that's what bothered me the most. I could have been in the white for all I know, since it was my hand that was forced. Yeah, I was innocent. Pi was the bad guy. He's he one in the black and not me. I was totally the good guy in this one.     But why didn't it feel that way?     "Silus?" Royal nudghed me lightly with is muzzle. "Are you even listening?"      I shook those troubling thoughts from my head. I must've been spacing out again, because Royal had apparently been talking to me, and I didn't hear a single word that he said. "Erm, no. What were you saying again?"    Royal rolled his eyes at me."As I was saying, we've hit a bit of a rough patch these past few years."     I dramatically turned my head to look at the poor shack that he had been living in, then whipped it back to Royal Blue. "Well, no kidding! I've seen dogs with better cribs than you. No offense."     "None taken."     "What happened to you, then?"     The old stallion shrugged. "Princess Luna came back. She singlehoofedly brought down a thousand-year golden age in just a few short months. When she was naught but a shape in the moon, The Family had no equal; we could alter the flow of Equestria's money just as well as any royal bureaucrat sitting up in Canterlot could, all it took us was a good heist plan, a dimwitted entitled pony with a boatload of bits, and the right skills to pull it off. Most ponies think that it was Celestia that created the middle class, you know. That couldn't be a bigger lie!" He beamed pridefully. "In truth, it was The Family that made the rich poorer and the poor richer. We brought about an economic equilibrium that couldn't have ever happened on its own! The Princess may take the credit, but it was we who got to keep the glory." He laughed merrily, which turned into another small fit of coughing. I hoped that this guy was okay, that coughing sounded pretty bad.     But wow, all that about brining economic whosit actually sounded kinda... nice. While they may not have succeeded in completely bridging the gap between the wealthy and the not-so-wealthy, they sure got close! It was closer to America's system of economics than that of a medieval society. Minus the thievery for a good cause, of course.      "So what's Luna got to do with this?" You'd think that the princess of the night would be cool to these guys because of their affiliation with the night and such. Nope! There goes my headcanon of Luna being the patron saint of thieves, adios.     "She does more than haunt our dreams and combat the nocturnal beasts, my friend. Our history texts told us of how Luna fiercely fought all forms organized crime after the family's rise to glory at the end of Discord's rule. Luna was, is, and will continue to be The Family's arch nemesis. She believed that social and economic change should be brought about by ponies working together with one another, rather than by a small group of vigilantes working outside the law." Royal Blue scoffed. "That kind if thinking got Equestria nowhere."     "We were neck and neck in our mad struggle for power, neither side managed to get the upper hoof on the other in many months of contest when The Nightmare seized her body. After that, there was nopony to stop us. Celestia wasn't as fixated on us as her sister, and she eventually learned that appeasement was much easier than conquest, which was quite profitable for both parties. And so began the golden age of thievery."     "Wow."     "Precisely."     Truly fascinating; and I'm not using that term lightly. I was just eating up every word that he uttered, each extra bit of information was as sweet as candy. I wasn't ever much of a scholar, but learning about Equestria sure beat the hell out of anything you could learn in a a school! Who knew that ponies had their own good guy mafia? Though, it kind of sucked being part of a group that Princess Luna hated. I liked Luna! I didn't want her to hate me...     "So," I said "you guys seemed to be fighting her pretty well back in the day. How did she just demolish you in a couple of months?"     "Ahh, that's a good question, my colt." I should probably have told him that I wasn't a man rather than colt. Maybe later "Quite frankly, her return utterly blindsided us. I'm sorry to say that The Family had grown fat and slow over the years with no real threats to keep us on our hooves. Our coffers were bursting with treasure, our informant networks reached to all corners of the continent, and all of our enemies were either harmless, inactive, or in prison. It was like that for fifty years before I joined up. We thought we were indestructible. We were so very wrong. Luna knocked us over like we were bowling pins and ruined nearly everpony associated with The Family."     He hung his head and laughed half heartedly, the kind of laugh that lacks any kind of humor. "Now it's me, my nephew, his marefriend, and--"he looked up to meet my gaze with steely eyes "--you."     "Yeah?"     "Silus White." he said with an odd tone in his voice. "Silus...White." It was almost as if he had been testing how my name felt on his lips.     "That's my name. Heh. Don't wear it..." My voice trailed off as I saw the glint in his eye. It was a mere moment of fiery passion that I had only seen few times before before. It was the look of a man who had something to believe in. That was a rare quality back where I came from.     "I need your help, Silus." He said, as serious and somber and as death itself. "We're living in a dirty shack and eating stale bread for lunch, my friend. What was once a proud guild of highly talented ponies has been reduced to the poverty that we once fought to eradicate. We've no resources, no contacts, no skilled members, and we don't even have any professional tools to work with. This Family is as low as it could possibly be." Royal Blue took a step closer to me, his face just ccentimeters away from my own. "We need to rebuild the whole organization from scratch, just as the legendary thieves of old did over a thousand years ago. To do that, we need members. And you--you are the first of many, you're going to help me recruit them."     Just what the he'll have I gotten myself into?     I said nothing. For what felt like the longest time we just stared at one another, not speaking, not breathing, not even blinking.     "I, uh..."     "Yes?" Somehow her managed to inch his face even closer to my own.     What was I to say? There I stood at a crossroads; commit myself to a guild of ponies who broke the law for a living, or to turn around and start walking in the other direction? Their cause was just, and I had already joined them in the heat of the moment. The big kicker was that this was a bit on the darker side of grey, if you catch my drift. I'd bet my tail that not many ponies around these parts would appreciate a thief. Plus I did not want to get on the bad side of Princess Luna. God only knows what kind of bad things she could bring. Let's also not mention that fact that I only broke into one house and one box, which doesn't exactly make me a hardened professional. There's also the part where I have a psyco science nut metaphorically breathing down my neck twenty four-seven, getting a dangerous day job could put him in a "shocky" mood.     On the other hand, The Family's goal was a good one: get rid of poverty. That was a damn saintly thing to do in my book. I could still be a good guy, minus the stealing part. Royal suggested that The Family only stole from the wealthy, It's not like they'll end up living under a rock if we take a little off the top and give it to the less fortunate, right? Plus, thievery is thievery--I'd spend my time getting my grubby little mitts on money, jewels, precious metals, and stuff like that. If that didn't pay good, I don't know what will. I also had to admit that walking unseen through Rariy's shop was kind of a huge rush. I'm a little ashamed to say that staling the diamond sent a thill through me like a rollercoaster.     They say that a single decision can make or break your whole life. One wrong move, you could end up dying in a ditch somewhere with no friends or family to be there for you. One right move, and you could be one of the rich and famous that The Family supposedly targets. Was this one of those decisions? Would this change my life even more than it already was, for better or worse? Could one of those choices come back to haunt me? I just didn't know.     I needed to make a decision. Thief or no thief, yes or no, stay or go, join or don't. Decide, damn it! Decide! One of these choices could end up changing my life forever! I wasn't very smart under pressure. Royal staring me down like a hawk didn't help my decision-making process, either. I could just flip a coin and-- No. There was no way I was going to leave it to chance.     Oh screw it.      "I'll do it." I said solemnly.     "Good colt." Royal Blue pulled his face back out of my personal space, his hard expression softening a bit.     I tried not to think of the decision that I had just made. I had pledged myself to be a thief. Wow. "So, what's next?"      He gave me a toothy grin, revealing a set of yellowing horse teeth. "Initiation." And with that being said, he turned around and headed back into the shack. "Come on, I'll give you the grand tour."      "Hey," I followed a few steps behind him. "It's not going to be like a college fraternity kind of initiation, is it?"     He was silent, choosing only to flash another yellow grin my way.     "Royal?!"     End Act I: Beginings     Begin Act II: Heists