What you call "Ponies" I call "Tuesday"

“Coooooooome ooooooooooon!”

“No, Harry, I refuse.”

“But David, you stay home most of the time; you need to get out more!”

“I know, but you can’t just randomly show up and take someone out against their will, that’s called hostage taking.”

Okay, I’m sure by now, you’re wondering: what is going on, who are these two, and why should I care. Well, for starters, this was me and my friend Harry during our last day on Earth. It was spent in the way we always did; Harry coming up with some goofy idea, and me usually poking enough holes in it to deflate it to nothing. It was a vicious cycle in this case as he tries desperately to get me to go to a karaoke bar.

Sounds like fun, right? Well, normally it would, but I know the place he was talking about, and it didn’t have any good music to select. It was all country songs, save for the infamous Rick Roll. Anyways, I didn’t feel like going simply because it was a 25 minute drive out on a back road next to a river, and it had rained the night before. Pick one of those reasons, I used all three.

Now, as for whom we are, that’s the easy part. I am David, and my friend here is Harry. In a town of less than 2,000 people, we are the last 2 who haven’t changed at all. Since we met, we have always been the inseparable pair of pranksters that did everything in good taste. We made everyone laugh, whether it was a well-placed joke, or one slap stick gag that no one expected, we got everyone to lighten up.

Harry is a young man, 19 years old, lean, muscly build, brown hair, green eyes, and stands about 5’ 9”. Standing about 5 inches taller is me. I also have brown hair, blue eyes, about 20 years old, and sporting a broad, husky build. Okay, when I say husky… yes, I’m fat. Problem? Good. Now, on this particular day, I was wearing a grey t-shirt, my trench coat, blue jeans, and boots. Harry decided to wear black jeans, a white muscle shirt, tennis shoes, and his wool jacket.

Over the 9 or so years we’ve known each other, we have yet to really change. We’ve gotten jobs to help our respective families, and we always make time to hang out together, no matter the gaps between them. We just make the time we spend together more memorable by being ourselves, and doing what we do best. That is, to say, make everyone around us fly around in a tornado of laughter!

Now, I think you get an idea of who we are and where we come from, I think we can continue the story. Oh, am I forgetting something? No… I don’t think so… Right well, on with the story!

“*sigh* Fine, lets go to Dairy Queen. I will convince you to go with me, it’s only a matter of time,” Harry said, trying to impress me with his grimmest look of determination. He was gathering his money off the table as he said this, and stuffed it in his pocket. After letting him past me to start heading out to Dairy Queen, I shrugged and followed him.

“Just think, women, free snacks, and karaoke! How can you not jump on it?” Harry inquired, trying to make the bar sound more and more exciting.

“Easy, I make this face and flatly say ‘No.’” I said, while making a frowny face, with my right eyebrow perked up just so. Harry caught a glimpse of the face, and busted out in a cacophony of chuckles and snortles, and I followed shortly after. After about 5 minutes of walking to the sound of each other’s laughter, we got to Dairy Queen.

“Ohhhh, yeah, you should totally come with me, come on!” Harry said, as he tried to sway me with the infamous puppy dog eyes. Ah yes, the puppy dog eyes, everyone’s natural enemy, but I know a way around it!

“I said no,” I said plainly, and quickly after before he could make any kind of reply, I stuck my index fingers in my ears and started going ‘Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah’ for a good 3 minutes. Harry just stood there and timed the whole thing.

Meanwhile…

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

“Hold on, Rarity, I’m comin’!”

Without a second to spare, the rainbow maned Pegasus took off towards her friend, trying to close the gap that gravity has put between them. Desperately flapping, wishing her wings to go faster, she started the formation of a mach cone. Focusing on the falling unicorn in question, she closed her eyes, and the cone shattered, and an explosion of color filled the sky.
However, while all the ponies were watching her display of the so-called “Sonic Rainboom,” Something was happening, a small gap in reality. A break between dimensions, I don’t know how to describe it. I only have high school chemistry under my belt, get off! Anyways, something happened that moment, that no person, or pony, could predict…

Back on Earth…

“Hey Harry,” I said as I opened the door to Dairy Queen. “Does DQ look different to you?”

“Hmm,” He said, bringing a finger up to scratch at his chin. “Well, how about we scratch it and go get a pizza or something?”
He shrugged, trying to sound like he wasn’t the one who wanted to come here in the first place.

I rolled my eyes, and said in a rather annoyed tone, ”Harry, you’re the one that wanted to come here in the first place, now, are you coming in to order, or are you going to make me wait here for the rest of the day?”

Harry sighed and just nodded his head. And, with an ever increasing amount of reluctance, we stepped through the door. Now, you know that feeling that you might have seriously fucked something up AFTER you do the thing that everyone was skeptical about from the start? Yeah, I started getting that about now, because me and Harry essentially went from on the ground, walking into a dairy queen, to falling through a rainbow streak in the sky.

As our descent started, we paused for a minute to look at each other, and after a bit decided to yell in unison.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

My eyes shot from Harry, to the sky, to the ground, and back to harry… wait…

“Harry, don’t look now, but you have wings,” I said as I reached out to grab him. “Harry, snap out of it, you have wings start flapping them, NOW!”

Harry didn’t say anything, his eyes were focused on me. I couldn’t understand his thoughts, but at this moment, I had bigger things to worry about. Somehow working my way through the air, I got behind Harry, and tried to manually flap his wings. It seemed like it was working, our descent was slowing. But, just then, I realized that we were in a bubble. How? I don’t know. What was a bubble doing some 200+ feet of the ground? Not a clue. However, as it seems like it was saving our lives, I decided to count this as a blessing.

“Oh wondrous god of bubbles, I shall pray to you every night for a week for this,” I said, fighting back tears of joy.

“Well now, how did you two get here?”

Oh. Shit.

The voice was feminine, obviously, and I thought for a moment there was a legitimate god (goddess?) of bubbles. After imagining what such a sight would look like, I snapped back to reality and decided to see if I could get some answers.

“Hey, ehh… bubble goddess, could you perhaps answer a few questions for me?” I said aloud, not realizing Harry was still buffering, so to speak, right next to me.

“Possibly, depends on the questions, and how I feel I should answer.”

Oh, fair enough. When a god/goddess says they’ll answer your questions, no matter how its worded, you pretty much have to accept it and move on.

“Okay,” I said scratching my head. Man, my fingers feel a bit stiff, like they’re stuck into a permanent fist. Pulling my hand around, I learn that it was no longer the 5 fingered limb I was accustomed too, but rather a stump, like someone cut off my hand and cauterized my wrist. Eyes growing wide, I now know why Harry was staring at me… oh shit, HARRY!

I spun around to see what became of my best bud. He was no longer human, but a…a… horse with wings? Hmm… Pegasus I suppose. Anyways, now I wondered what became of me. Oh, if I’m a unicorn, I will kick the nearest tree when we get to the ground! I began to take note of my appearance. Front legs, Back legs, tail, muzzle, mane, coat…coat? Feeling a familiar cloth over my torso, I looked down to see my trench coat, now colored navy blue from its usual black. Whatever, color didn’t matter, as long as I had something covering me.

After examining my body for any special growths that could be counted as wings or horns, I sadly lacked both. I was just a boring old horse. A boring horse, with green fur… and a silvery grey mane, blue eyes, and a coat, which I would assume would be the only of its kind in this place we now found ourselves…

After taking a deep breath to reorganize my thoughts, I then looked up and proceeded to address the Goddess of Bubbles.
“Hey, you still there?” I yelled, not sure if she was still listening.

“Hmm? Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.”

Fantastic… “I have some questions, so, let’s start with…”

What was Harry thinking?

After stepping through the portal, Harry covered his eyes from the bright lights. He had been to this particular DQ before, but never once had they brought in rainbow colored lights, not even to promote the rainbow sherbet blizzard. If you have to ask, then you can’t afford it, Ba-ZING! Anyways, after getting used to the lights, Harry turned to look at his friend, wondering how he was coping with the light show.

He didn’t see his friend. He did, however, see a green pony in his place, surrounded by a rainbow background. The horse seemed to be trying to talk to him, but he couldn’t hear him. The sound of wind rushing past his ears drowned him out. He wasn’t entirely sure how to handle a situation like this. Suddenly, the horse started making his way through the air (somehow). Once the horse got to him, he moved around to his back, and he felt like someone was taking his arms and making flapping motions.

“Well, at least it can’t get any weirder…” Harry resigned. Just then, him and the equine in question were caught by a bubble, and were now floating gently to the ground. Well, about as gently as it could be, until the green horse let go of Harry’s arms. He had spun around to look at the horse, only to hear him speak in his friend’s voice.

Harry rubbed the back of his head, slightly confused. If this pony was anything like his friend, why was he shouting at the sky, and did he really just use the term “bubble goddess?” Deciding that while they were safe for the moment, he would just relax and let his mind wander. Then, he came upon a startling thought. “What if he wasn’t the only one changed?” Harry then snapped up, and quickly looked himself over. He was right to worry, for in place of hands and feet, he had hooves, and his skin was covered in a layer of white fur. He couldn’t quite tell what color his mane was, it was too short to tell.

He then proceeded to look his body over with greater detail. Turning his head as far as he could, he saw 2 good sized wings gracing his back. His eye twitched as he began processing the amount of shenanigans he could perform with them. After stopping at around 130 different scenes he could perform, he turned to the rest of his body.

His eyes widened at his flank, which had a picture of a laughing smiley face. He continued to stare at it for the longest time. Contemplating how something like this could get on his body without him knowing. Then, after losing the staring contest with his tattooed flank, he proceeded to mess around in the bubble, by doing zero gravity flips and rolls, while he listened to me talk to an imaginary “bubble goddess” He still snickered at the fact that his friend used those words in a legitimate conversation. No matter how one-sided it appeared to be.

What could happen to make it worse?

“Okay… so, lemme see if I got this right, we’re in a place called Equestria, we’re called ponies here, clothing is optional, and you’re not a bubble goddess, but the goddess that raises the sun each and every day, and your sister does the same thing with the moon. You are currently in a place called Cloudsdale, and you somehow heard my thoughts as we were falling, and decided to shield us from crashing to our deaths because something happened that shouldn’t have and we’re going to have to figure out what, how is that, am I in the ball park?” I said, taking a deep breath after giving my monotonistic speech of our current situation.

“More or less, I suppose. A crude oversimplification, but it should suffice for now, anyways, here is the ground, I’ll send somepony down in a bit to make sure you two are taken care of.”

I glanced down, and noticed that the bubble has stopped its descent and is now hovering about 4 inches from the ground. And, shortly after, the bubble dispersed, and I fell to my feet… hooves… which buckled and brought me to my knees. I looked over to see Harry, flat on his back, with his wings spread out and legs stiff in the air, like he was a stuffed Pegasus and someone knocked him over by accident. I snickered, but eventually asked him if he was alright.

“Yeah, no I’m fine, just a bruise,” he managed to groan out. I chuckled and steadily got up. Now comes the fun part. Ever go from a 2 legged up right walking creature to one that walks on all fours? Didn’t think so. Let’s just say that the few feet between me and Harry seemed like an open field, which I had to cross. After stumbling around for what seemed like hours, I finally got over to Harry and helped him up.

“Okay, so, considering that I just fought with gravity, we should probably take a few minutes to learn to walk on four legs,” I said, giving my friend a blank stare. For once in my life, Harry was speechless. I mean legitimately speechless, usually he has some kind of witty quip that he likes to pull out, but he just couldn’t bring himself to do it.

Shortly after the news clicked, he gingerly took his front hoof and tried to place it in front of him. What happened was when he placed it down, he did so at just an angle that spun him around and planted him on his back again. I was not crying… I was laughing so hard it was hurting my ribs.

“Yeah yeah, help me up will ya?” Harry said, slightly irritable. Dialing back my laughter, I helped the poor Pegasus back up on his hooves… feet? No hooves. Man that still feels weird. Anyways, after many failing attempts at walking, we eventually figured out how each of our leg joints moved and shortly after got used to walking.

“So, now that we can walk, I wonder how I can use these,” Harry said, gesturing towards his wings.

“Umm… Harry, Two things. One, I don’t have wings, and two, You might wanna take a look behind you,” I said, my eyes growing wide at the sight.

“Yeah and then you’ll plant a sign on my back that says “Kick Me” or something, I know you’re game,” Harry said smugly. I rolled my eyes, walked up, and twisted his head far enough so he could see what I was talking about.

In the clearing next to us were 2 guards, and a chariot. The guards were adorned with gilded armor, and they were hooked to the chariot. One of them turned their head slightly to address us.

“Princess Celestia sent us to retrieve you two, come with us, now,” He said, in a very serious tone. Princess Celestia, huh? Hmm… Doesn’t sound like a very threatening monarch… but then again, we’re in a magical land of talking ponies, so I shouldn’t be so surprised.

“Right then, what’re we waiting for,” I said, perking up and starting to trot over to the carriage. Chariot? Chariot… whatever.

“Hey man, why should we go with them,” Harry asked, which stopped me dead in my tracks. Oh right, I suppose he was left out of the whole conversation.

“Nothing, I just… well… Just come on, I’ll sum it up on the way.” I said, rolling my eyes and beginning my trot towards our chariot. Harry sighed and followed, grumbling.

Once we got on board the chariot, the guards took off, pulling us into the sky. And while they focused on pulling us to wherever it was that we were going, I turned to Harry, and began telling him what I knew of our situation so far.