What you call "Ponies" I call "Tuesday"

Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, ponies, and pets of all ages, this is Harry here! And David, well... he's kinda out at the moment.

Hey Har, who ya talkin to?

Huh? Oh, well uhh... this is the narration device David uses.

A what?

I dunno, I snatched it from him when he was dancing to one of the songs earlier. Anyways, lets get on with the show, shall we?

Rewind to just after the party started...

"Hey Dave, what do you think would be the best place to hang out?" I asked barely audible over the thumping bass of the speakers. Thump thump thump...

"How should I know, we've only arrived today," David said, giving a quick roll of his eyes before returning to his ridiculous dancing. It was like a cross of the head bob from A Night At The Roxbury, and Jay's dance from Clerks 2.

"Right, well if we we're to hang out somewhere, where would you think we would go?" I asked again, trying to get some kind of answer out of the green stallion.

"Asking again isn't going to change my answer, Harry," David sighed, giving his head a quick shake. Before I could ask again, David and I got seperated from eachother. I looked around, and even went through the crowd to try and find him, but I felt like I was moving around in circles.

Resigning the search, I went back to dancing. Breaking out moves like the jitterbug, and thriller, I eventually ran into Rainbow Dash again. She was just doing a head bang timed to the rhythm of the music. I made my way over to her, and continued dancing next to her.

She noticed me and turned to ask ," Hey, how ya likin' the party? Pretty crazy, huh?" She grinned wildly and and leaned slightly towards me. I glanced around, getting a good look at the whole shindig. Ponies were dancing, eating snacks, and otherwise just cutting loose and having a great time.

I glanced back to see the eager pegasus locking eyes with me for the first time since we met. For a moment, and yeah I know this is gonna sound sappy, but time seemed to stand still. The music slowed and my breathing seemed to have vanished.

"Uhh... y-yeah..." I finally managed to spit out. Sweat began to form on my face. Dash chuckled and took a glance around the room. She saw a a few ponies there that she recognized, some from the weather team, some from other events that Pinkie had hosted in the past.

Then she locked on another face, over by the snack bar... then she locked on the snack bar. I folllowed her eyes over to the same spot, but she seemed to be staring at something I couldn't quite see. I sighed and leaned in close to her.

"Hey... what uhh... what're ya starin' at?" I asked her, then turning to give her an inquisitive look.

"I was just eyeing the-" she turned her head towards me at the same time and we uhh... accidentally... umm...

Oh come on, just say it, you two kissed.

I know we kissed, but by accident!

Ha, you know what's even more believable? Being friends, with benefits!

Keep laughing, I'll make sure to get you back down the road.

Harry, last time you said that, I got punched by a biker chick and you got yelled at by a gang of latin american activists.

Oh yeah...

I think we got of topic.

What? Oh right, yeah, why don't you finish?

Because its your chapter, you finish it.

Things got quiet, and very wierd after that. We didn't make eye contact after that, and we eventually split up. She went somewhere off to the other side of the room, I desperately tried to find a bathroom. Something told me I needed to splash some cold water on myself before things get rather embarrassing.

Over by the snack table...

Because Harry couldn't keep his composure through this chapter, lets get back to David... me, or something, I dunno.

"Hey, pssssst, David, are you okay?" said a worried Pinkie Pie. She tilted her head, and began examining me closely, not that I would know at the time. Every inch of me that she looked at hinted at nothing, but then again, she wasn't a doctor. She inched closer, trying to get a better look at me in the dim lights of the party barn.

Ha, party barn, that's a new one!

Yeah, well I work with what you give me.

Anyways, it stilll didn't show anything before someone... pony... somepony bumped into her, sending her into me face first. I was too out of it to feel it, but she tried to recoil away from me. Now, mind you, I was under, and had no control of my actions, and I cannot stress that enough.

But... when she was bumped into me and when she tried to push away from me, I uhh... kinda... wrapped my arms around her and... well... pulled her closer to me. At least that's what Pinkie said happened. Apparantly I held her like a kid would a stuffed animal, which quite frankly confuses me, since I never had any stuffed anything.

What!?! How did you get through childhood without a stuffed animal of some kind?

What do you mean? My life wasn't bad at all until about high school.

High what?

High... nevermind, just know that its a bad bad bad bad very bad place to go to. Think having one embarrassing event in your life follow you for years day in and day out, that's high school.

That sounds...

Right-ONWARD!

"Oof!" grunted the pink mare. She struggled against the grip of the stallion, but eventually gave up when she couldn't get anywhere. She took a deep breath and put her head on mine. I began mumbling at this point, but she couldn't hear it over the music. She wasn't too worried, she would just wait until either I woke up, or let go.

But something urged her to listen, that something would warrant her attention on this moment.

"mmm... n-no... s-someone..." she managed to make out over the music. To her it sounded like a call for help.

"I'm here, how can I help?" she whispered in my ear. When she said that, something happened. She noticed something happened, but couldn't figure out what. She put an ear closer to my mouth and listened for a second... then two... then five...

"Oh sweet Celestia, he isn't breathing!" Pinkie exclaimed, worry clear in her tone. She instantly broke from my grasp and dashed over to the snack table. She didn't have time to get help from anyone, she needed something to wake him up now! She glanced around the table and almost all of the refreshments were gone at this point. But she managed to find one last cup of punch, which she picked up and dashed over to me.

"Here we go, now-WAKE UP!" she said, splashing the room tempurature punch on me. No good, I just laid there, motionless. She gasped and went to me, putting a hoof on my chest. I wasn't breathing still, but my heart was beating. It was labored, and getting weaker, but it was still beating, which gave her a bit of hope.

"That wasn't enough, gotta get something bigger..." she said, looking around the room. First, she saw a bucket, but then thought no, it was too small. Then she saw a trough up on the wall, but then thought it was going to take to long to fill. Then... she eyed the bowl of punch.

The punch was still half full and had some ice in it to keep it cold. Perfect! All she had to do was go get it, bring it here, and drench David with it. It was foolproof! She sprang into action, heading straight for it when a cyan pegasus she knew all to well unknowingly stepped in her way.

"What the-DASHIE MOVE!" she exclaimed, trying to move out of the way of her friend. Dashie barely had time to see Pinkie sprinting towards her. Instinctively, Rainbow Dash ducked down a bit, making herself more of a speed bump to the charging pink pony. PInkie, however, couldn't get out of the way and wound up tripping over her friend. This caused her to fly off the ground just enough and with enough velocity hit the end of the table at such an angle that it turned the snack table into a catapult of psychotic sweets.

Cupcakes, cake slices, various apple treats, and some of the plates that didn't get used were tossed through the air, creating havoc and sugary mayhem wherever they landed. But the payload, the bowl of punch in question, was set and aimed straight for me. The contents were already going faster than the actual bowl, so when it it, I had just enough time to realize I was being hit with something.

Once the punch hit me, my eyes shot open and I took a deep breath. Then the bowl hit me, and shattered over my head.

"Ow... Say, is that how you wake everyone up or am I just that special?" I grumbled, not to anyone in particular, but I was flustered. I mean, first I was drugged, then it felt like someone gagged me, then I get woken up with ice cold... punch... with the ice still in it... and then its topped off with me getting emphatically stamped in the forehead by the punch bowl and having it break into pieces.

I looked around, trying to figure out just exactly what happened. What I saw was a trail of floor and ponies covered in various... well what looked like snacks. I was about to mutter something under my breath before something pink dashed down the line of ruined snacks and dove right into me. I couldn't hold up against the sheer force and got slammed against the wall and got a pair of pink forelegs wrapped around my neck.

I was speechless. Partially because once again, I got manhandled-

Colt-handled.

What?

The word you're looking for is colt-handled.

I... okay...

Colt-handled by a pink pony. But mostly because of the rapid explanation of the situation by Pinkie. I only caught punch, sleep, breathing, and launched.

"Okay okay, whoah whoah whoah... before we get into ANYTHING... is there a bathroom somewhere?" I said, gently pushing Pinkie back a bit to try and calm her down. She was reluctant, but she released her grip and looked me in the face.

"Oh, hehe, right, umm... I think there is one over in the house." Pinkie said, putting a hoof on my punch soaked mane and giggling like none of whatever happened had even occurred in a dream. I rolled my eyes and turned my head to the left, to see not only the cowgirl, but a familiar pegasus following her.

I sighed, and got up from the spot, giving a quick shake before making my way over to the door.

"Hey, mind if I come along?" I yelled, giving a quick wave to the 2 ponies near the door. They looked up and nearly busted out laughing. Probably because I was covered in punch.

"Haha, what' happened to ya pard'ner?" Applejack said, chuckling in between breaths.

"Yeah, hahaha, you look like-" Harry couldn't finish because Applejack gave him a quick elbow to the shoulder. Harry shut up, but kept snickering, which made me roll my eyes.

"Yeah yeah, I know I'm wet, that's why I need to go wash up real quick," I explained, although rather irritably. Applejack nodded, and motioned for us to follow her. We wandered through the dark a short distanced before coming to a two-story house. There was one light on inside and the rest was dark.

"Alright, now before we go in, I need y'all ta be quiet as a couple a church mice, Big Mac and Applebloom are sleepin' an' they don' take kindly ta' bein' woke up," Applejack explained, turning to Harry and I and giving us a very serious look. We looked at eachother, then back to Applejack and gave her a quick salute and nod.

She sighed, and turned to lead us into the house. Creeping up the porch, we were careful to make sure we didn't make any of the boards creak. Applejack opened the door slowly, and lead the way in the house, with Harry and I following close behind. It really didn't seem like anyone else was up, but the light was coming from a candle in what looked like a living room.

She led us to a short hallway and gently kicked open a door. We peered around the corner and got a look to the farm house bathroom. It was larger than we thought and we looked at eachother. Wordlessly we made gestures and eventually came to the understanding that as long as neither of us had to relieve themselves, we were gonna both go in.

"Thanks, we'll be out shortly," Harry whispered before dashing through the doorway. I just nodded and followed suit. Applejack tilted her head in confusion, but before she could ask, the door was closed.
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Author's Note : Ladies and Gentlemen, Mares and Gentlecolts, and pets of all ages! 'Tis I, David, author, co-star, and cynical green earth pony. I have come from the verge of my drug induced coma to reveal a very odd second point for this party. Yes, it is a rather long party, and I'm not going to highlight every point of it. Anywho, stay tuned for the next installment.