What you call "Ponies" I call "Tuesday"

It was dark. Dark dark darky dark dark dark… Light was absent in this place that I was, which means that it was shrouded in shadow… Yes, I am describing a dark room to you. Only because this is the weirdest thing that has happened to me since I was chosen to play a white trash elf in our school play 4 years ago. That is a story for another time.

I stood there for the longest time. Honestly, it seemed like ages before anything happened. And what would happen decidedly freaked me the hell out. A spotlight, out of nowhere, turned on, and swiveled around to focus me. At least it wasn’t focused on my eyes, so I could at least look around without covering my face. Shortly after getting my bearings, I heard… giggling?

“Who’s there?” I asked, getting ready for almost anything. Almost anything, not the soon to be barrage of hyperactive sugar speech that was to come. And now we get to the highly unexpected intruder to my mind.

“Hi, I’m Pinkie Pie, I bet you’re new here, because I know eeeeeeverypony here, and I don’t know you, so you must be new, tell me, what was it like coming here, what’s your favorite color, why are you wearing a jacket, who’s your friend, what’s your name, what kind of food do you like-“ began a small pink pony who seemed to have come out of my coat pocket. How such a thing was even possible, I won’t even ask. And for her questions, I couldn’t answer her if I wanted to, she was speaking so fast that I couldn’t get a word in edge wise.

I merely looked on in horror as the pocket pony talked, and talked, and taaaaaaaaaaalked… This was the first time I thought my dream was going to talk me to death, which would be a first. Usually I’m being chased by some face eating super alien or something like that, not being talked at by a pink pony half sticking out of my coat pocket like some small lap dog celebrities carry in their purses and junk…

“He-llooooooooooooo, anypony home?” said the pink pony… Pinkie Pie I guess her name was? Finally thinking about it, I took a deep breath and began to answer her first few questions. Answering all of them in one go isn’t in the budget.

“Well, let’s see, My name is David, my friend’s name is Harry, my favorite color is green, I guess, this jacket was a present from my dad, and I wear it every chance I get, my favorite food is a nicely prepared chili, and uhh, I guess our trip here wasn’t so bad, except for the almost falling to our deaths part, that coulda been a bit better,” I said, exhaling the excess air, which wasn’t a lot given I don’t speak like that, normally.

“Teehee, what’s chili, what’s your dad like, where are you from, and what’s your friend like,” Pinkie said, tilting her head to the side, expecting a similar answer to her questions. I shook my head, I wasn’t going to play the 'spill my guts to an imaginary pink pony' game.

Who are you calling imaginary?

…

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

~We are experiencing technical difficulties~

Okay, I think that’s taken care of… I don’t know how that happened, somehow she broke through my one way 4th wall… Anyways I guess back to my freaky dream…

“I don’t think I know you well enough to answer that,” I said, flashing her a nervous grin. Honestly, I was still a bit freaked out that she was in my pocket. Literally.

“Okie dokie lokie,” she said, giving me a big grin and hopping out of my coat pocket. She then clapped her forehooves together and said two words that again, blew me away. “Hit it,” she said, and she looked over to a DJ table, where… she… put… a…re…re…. WHAT!?! I double-taked, she was not only standing next to me looking at the DJ table, but she was also AT the DJ table, putting a record on. My mind snapped. It was something like a dam being smashed and the waters of insanity started pouring out.

“Right, here we go,” said the Pinkie at the table, giving the Pinkie next to me a quick wave, before putting the DJ headphones on. And the song she chose, surprisingly was one I was quite familiar with, Party Rock Anthem by LMFAO, now hold on while I shuffle.

Well, other than physics being thoroughly smashed to oblivion, and sanity being dealt with in such a way that Cthulhu himself would back away slowly at the sight, I had a fun enough time. After a while though, it felt like something was slowly heating my head up. Seriously, it was getting warmer, and I know it wasn’t my imagination, I was sweating! I mean really really sweating. I eventually couldn’t take it, and well… I woke up.

I awoke to the sun beaming on my face, threatening me with promises of making me very uncomfortable, no matter how much I tried to hide under my coat. I eventually rolled off the couch, and made my way to the bathroom. Good thing Harry was still sleeping, I didn’t feel like fighting for a shower this morning…

Retract to earlier last night

Celestia had just finished setting the sun, and Luna was working on raising the moon. She sighed, and made her way over to her den, which had a cozy little fire in a fireplace, and a neatly placed pillow on the floor. She walked over, and gently laid down on the pillow, and levitated a parchment and quill over, she always kept a small bottle of ink nearby, just in case. She dipped her quill in, and started writing a letter.

My Faithful Student, Twilight Sparkle

I have a matter which requires the attention of you and your friends. Come to my palace at Canterlot, and I will explain this matter in detail upon your arrival. Since this is on such short notice, I am sending the train tickets, free of charge. Come at your earliest convenience.

Your teacher,

Princess Celestia

As the finished the letter, she laid the quill down, and rolled it up. After which, she proceeded to stamp it, and burn it with a magical green flame. The smoke of the scroll flew over, and out the chimney. She grinned, and proceeded to relax, enjoying the peace and quiet. Today was rather eventful to say the least, but its these moments that she loved and cherished.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a cloud of smoke that flew in front of her, and hovered for a minute before turning into a scroll, similar to the one she sent. She used her magic to open it, and its content read…

Dear Princess Celestia,

Of course, I’ll send a note to everypony, and we’ll be up there first thing in the morning. I don’t think Rainbow Dash is going to be able to make it, however, as she has that date with the Wonderbolts tomorrow. However, the rest of us will be in attendance, and I’ll bring Spike. He’s been begging me to bring him back up to Canterlot, says he forgot something important up there last time he visited. Anyways, can’t wait for tomorrow, it’ll be nice to see you again.

Your faithful student,

Twilight Sparkle

She almost face hoofed. She had completely forgotten about the first prize from the “Best Young Fliers Competition,” that prize being a day with the Wonderbolts, Equestria’s best aerial acrobatics team. She then let out a light sigh, scrawling a quick note on a small scrap of paper, basically stating “That’s fine, we’ll fill her in later.”

She then got up, and levitated her quill and put the stopper on her bottle of ink. After she got everything set the way she always does, she walked over and started getting into bed. “If these two are this weird after what they just went through, I can’t wait to see them in the morning,” she thought.

She slid into bed, and levitated the covers up, and slowly drifted off to sleep. Yes, tomorrow is going to be very interesting…

Back to morning time

I had just stepped out of the shower before I heard a series of loud knocking at the bathroom door. Ugh, of course, well, at least I finished washing up. I reached over to the rack and pulled a towel off with my mouth. Why my mouth? Well, kinda hard to pull something like a towel off with no fingers. Anyways, I flicked it up, and draped it perfectly around my neck.
The knocking intensified. I could tell because the door was actually moving this time.

“Alright alright, settle down, don’t get your feathers ruffled, I’ll be right out,” I said, walking towards the door. I managed to barely open it, before a certain blue maned, white coat pegasus squeezed in, shoved me out, and slammed the door shut. I blinked, not knowing how to rightly respond to being shoved out of a room in quite that manner.

With a resigned shrug, I began toweling off, which proved easier than I thought. After I was nice and dry, I wandered over, and slid into my coat. Ugh, these sleeves, I am gonna have to see if anyone can help with these, later. For now, however, I decided to walk over and open the window. The sun was just past the horizon, and was shining its bright yellow face at me. I would’ve said hi, but I was stopped when I felt a light tapping on my back. I wonder who that could be.

I spun around to see… nothing… huh, that’s weird. I looked around the room again, and didn’t find anything out of the ordinary. So, I slowly turned back to look out the window again. I felt that tapping again and I spun around, only faster this time. A-HA! Gotcha, I caught a glimpse of a single white feather drifting down from somewhere right above me. I look up to see Harry, flapping his wings, snickering quietly to himself.

He was distracted a bit so he didn’t see me look at him. I then decided to pull one on him, and spun around looking out the window again. This time, though, I focused on the reflection instead of the scenery. Once I saw he was getting ready to tap my back again, I jumped up, and got him in a headlock.

“HA, GOTCHA,” I shouted, ruffling his short blue mane up.

“Ahh, hey, QUIT IT,” Harry shouted back, trying to get loose from the grip I got around his head. After holding his head in the vice grip for a few seconds, I let go of him, and gave him a smug grin.

“And that, sir, is why you don’t mess with me,” I said, ending it with a quick wink. No homo.

Harry just rolled his eyes, and dropped out of the air, landing abruptly on his hooves. I hate my luck, of all the things I would like to do, flying would be the one thing my friend gets. And what do I get? A jacket. Well, in its defense it IS a very nice jacket. Well, more of a coat.

My thought were interrupted by a very beet red unicorn. Beet? Beat? Beet? Beat? I think beet, anyways, this guy was red. After about 3 seconds of thought, I realized we might’ve been a tad loud, and out of context, it could come off as a tad… dirty… Ugh, so far, not the best impression to put out there. I guess it can’t be helped now.

“Umm, sirs, the princesses require your presence in the dining hall,” he said, being careful not to look us in the eye. I tilted my head, trying to get him to look me in the eye, however, every time I almost succeed, he juked me and kept his eyes from mine. After a good 30 seconds or so of playing Curious Pony/Awkward Pony, I turned to Harry and shrugged.

“Well, I guess we could go see what these princesses want to talk about now,” I said, turning my head and raising a brow at the steward.

“And maybe they can show us where we can get something to eat, I’m starving,” Harry groaned, and almost as if it was queued, his stomach let loose a cavernous growl. Huh, interesting, I’m going to have to ask him about that when we get a break from this pony business.

“Well, lead the way, my good pony-sir,” I said, trotting over to the now recovering unicorn. Harry followed, and soon, we were on our way to the banquet hall.

On the way to breakfast, la la la~

“By the way, Harry, I have a question if you will indulge me,” I said, keeping my head focused straight ahead of me. I remembered yesterday, every time I didn’t pay attention to where I was going something bad happened. But not today, YOU HEAR ME, NOTHING BAD IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO ME TODAY!

“How did you learn to fly like that?” I questioned. I guess he was expecting me to ask that, because he didn’t even hesitate with his answer.

“Heh, funny you should ask, I basically had a dream where this blue and rainbow colored pony taught me how to fly,” Harry said, letting a slight flush touch his face. Huh, so he had a weird pony related dream.

“You don’t say, well, I had a dream too, except the one I was talking to was pink and managed to be in two places at once,” I said, letting out a small yawn, like it wasn’t anything major. Honestly, I didn’t feel like a weirdo considering I wasn’t the only one who had a weird dream.

“Really? Oh, does that mean you can clone yourself,” Harry said, turning his head and facing me, stars shining in his eyes. Can I clone myself? What the heck kind of…

“No, we basically spent the entire night dancing to Party Rock Anthem,” I said, and I glanced over to see him deflate rather quickly.

“Aww, well if that’s all, then I guess that’s alright,” he said, all sad and everything. My word, was he really expecting me to clone myself after one dream? I rolled my eyes, and turned my attention to the front. After following the steward through the castle, we eventually came across two large doors, similar to the doors for the throne room.

The steward’s horn lit up, in an orange glow. The two of us practically tipped over, trying to get a better look at the glowing protrusion from the pony’s head. The doors started faintly glowing orange, and opened slowly.

“Whooooooaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh,” Harry and I gawked in unison as the dining hall was slowly revealed to us. It was amazing to put it lightly, pillars were placed as far from the center of the room as possible, and were evenly spaced. The room, like the rest of the castle, was marble white with gold ornamentation on the pillars. There were windows spaced on a good fourth of the wall on the right side of the room, whereas the left side had a smaller set of doors, possibly leading to a kitchen area of some kind.

Harry wasted no time, and promptly took off, giving a quick once around the room with his new wings. Jerk. I seriously think he did that just to spite me. While he was enjoying his new talent of flight, I surveyed the rest of the room. There was a large rectangular table, where the two princesses sat opposite of each other. Cute, sun and moon, and they can’t sit next to each other at a table. After noting the princesses, I brought my attention to the six bits of occupied space in between them, on one side of the table.

Going from left to right (Celestia to Luna, if you will), sat a purple unicorn. Her mane was a darker shade of purple, with a middle shade of purple and pink highlights in in her mane. She seemed to be enthralled in a book at the moment, and didn’t notice me, or my buddy circling overhead. Next to her was a purple and green lizard. Ehh, I was about to say he was cute, but when I thought it, he brought a gem up to his waiting mouth, and bit on it, with a startlingly loud crunch. Okay, so he was officially on my “Watch what you say around this one” list. Anything that can do something like eat gems, could probably chew through bone.

Next down the list is another unicorn, this one had a white coat, and a stylized dark purple mane. She had her eyes closed and was drinking from a tea cup. Her horn was glowing light blue all the while. Right, next one down the line vanished before I could get a good look at them. Moving on, there was a brown pony, wearing a cowboy hat. This one had a long blonde mane pulled into a tail… a pony with a pony tail… that is a good one, I have to write that one down.
Anyways the last one was a…oh…

I found myself instantly staring into light blue eyes, and all I heard was a voice talking to me, and it said.

“I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT! I knew I would meet somepony new today! My Pinkie sense was a-twitchin’ and a-itchin’ and when that happens, it means I’m gonna be meeting somepony new!” said the bottomless bowl of sugar that was Pinkie Pie. She threw her arms around my neck in a rather strong hug. Yes, I knew this one’s name, because she was exactly the same way in my dream.

“P.. pin… air…” I choked out, snapping back into reality. Yeah, oxygen deprivation does wonders to help you sober up.

“Oh, hehe, sorry,” she said, releasing her vice like grip from around my neck. I flopped on the ground, gasping for air. Harry finished his aerial laps about this time, and started laughing at the sight. I don’t blame him, but seriously, if he knew how surprised I was, he’d be laughing even harder.

“Ohhhhh boy, this is gonna be a looooooong day,” I muttered to myself, closing my eyes while trying to gather my thoughts. Pinkie began introducing herself to Harry, and I guess Harry was managing to keep conversation with her. How? I don’t know. I wasn’t gonna ask.

This morning, I was certain something was going to happen.

Boy, you can say that again, teehee!

…

How do you keep DOING that!?!